Got really mad at the supermarket today

SHBoss1673

OK so I know it's none of my business what's in someone else's cart but I'm in the checkout line with nothing to do but wait and I'm just looking through the lady's cart next to me kind of thinking well that's not overly healthy, but not thinking much over it. so I glance at the woman herself and she has a little girl in a tutu, she's about maybe 7 years old and she is GROSSLY overweight. So I glance back at the cart again, now I have a purpose.

Here's what I see.

2 pints of full fat coffee icecream
about 6 cans of spaghettiO's
a big back of potato chips (NOT baked)
3 boxes of macaroni and cheese (full fat Kraft)
a 24 pack of bottled water (which would be fine if not for what was below that)
a 24 pack of regular pepsi
and a 24 pack of mountain dew.

I didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge it, but really, if that's what this woman is feeding her child, I feel like this is borderline child abuse. This kid is going to have serious mental hurdles to climb once the other kids lay into her with the fat jokes. And lets be honest, they WILL start to fire off the fat jokes sooner or later.

I was SO angry. In this day and age, with nutrition information everywhere, really?

MFPfriend

I've got to be honest, I'm right there with you.
I just turned 20 a few days ago... that's basically what my parents fed me until I was 13. And when I was a teenager, I had no clue how to cook, so I resorted to those kinds of foods.

Hopey1994

That's enfuriating! I get so angry with parents who feed their kids such crap; it's almost like the parent is not even giving his/her child a chance! Kids have to eat what they're given, and if they are given fast food, Coke, and high sodium/fat on a regular basis, that's setting them up to be unhealthy and possibly overweight. I can understand why you wouldn't say anything though, that would have caused a scene.

lotusfromthemud

Yep, it's terrible. I ate horribly as a child, and I'm still trying to let go anger from it. I agree it's bordering on abuse and neglect, and maybe not even bordering. (ducking down as the flame war begins)

I was at Burger King the other day (I was on a road trip and desperate, and I have been punished by it and made my peace with my terrible choice ) and they were advertising a side of macaroni and cheese as part of their "smarter choices for kids" menu. Refined carbs, chemically orange goo and preservatives smarter?

Really? Really?

I have a relative whose children have never eaten a fruit or vegetable. Never. Terrifying. I was on a visit this summer, and one of the kids (I think she's around eight. . .it's not a relative I'm close with) said "I'm hungry!", so I pulled a pear out of my bag and handed it to her. God is my witness, she asked me "what is this thing?" :noway:

keiko

OK, I admit it, when I'm bored waiting in line I do look at what other people are buying. I'm amazed at the amount of junk food and pre-packaged food people will spend money on.

SHBoss1673

Yep, it's terrible. I ate horribly as a child, and I'm still trying to let go anger from it. I agree it's bordering on abuse and neglect, and maybe not even bordering. (ducking down as the flame war begins)

I was at Burger King the other day (I was on a road trip and desperate, and I have been punished by it and made my peace with my terrible choice ) and they were advertising a side of macaroni and cheese as part of their "smarter choices for kids" menu. Refined carbs, chemically orange goo and preservatives smarter?

Really? Really?

I have a relative whose children have never eaten a fruit or vegetable. Never. Terrifying. I was on a visit this summer, and one of the kids (I think she's around eight. . .it's not a relative I'm close with) said "I'm hungry!", so I pulled a pear out of my bag and handed it to her. God is my witness, she asked me "what is this thing?" :noway:

As I'm reading this, I'm thinking about my dinner last night. Which was DELICIOUS. It was broiled chicken, broccoli, and spaghetti squash sautéed with a little bit of kens light Italian dressing, chopped garlic, and some EVOO. Really, it was easy, heck it is even easier if you buy a roasted chicken from the supermarket. Incredibly healthy, and not overly expensive either. Plus it takes about 15 minutes total to make (once you broil the chicken, which we do in advance). Is this type of stuff REALLY that hard? I would have loved this as a kid!

godblessourhome

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.
dawn

**edited for spelling

ourgang

My heart poors out to these kids. We all know that they will struggle and it is a HARD STRUGGLE for most of their life....

On another note though, I do make wise choices and pack my children's own lunches so I know they are getting quality healthy food. Veggies, fruit, and protein in every lunch. My girls eat what I do, wheat pasta, low sodium everything, water, etc.... But when given the choice out side of our home they will still go for brownies, cookiees, take out, etc....... I think part of it is just, this is what they see.... School lunches alone are HORRIBLE!!!!!!

Make me glad I am Sadie and Autumn's mom!!! I know they get what they need and will grow up makeing wiser choices

SHBoss1673

OK, I admit it, when I'm bored waiting in line I do look at what other people are buying. I'm amazed at the amount of junk food and pre-packaged food people will spend money on.

I felt so bad for the little girl who has NO idea the world of hurt she is in for. I wanted to grab her and take her home and say "don't worry hon, I'll fix you right up."

My wife grew up overweight, in weight watchers by 12, still has issues with her weight, still has days where she gets visibly angry with me if she's having a bad day and I mention food and/or exercise, it really ends up dominating their life for a long time. It's almost like torture.

SHBoss1673

oops, double post

wannabe

i was not raised on veggies or fruits. it makes me sad now. im trying new things all the time. both of my parents hate tomatoes, i tried a tomato by itself not in anything for the first time when i was like 15? carrots for a snack was unheard of. i remember when i was a teenager going to family christmas and my cousins attacked the veggie tray popping olives and celery and me and my sister looked at them like they were aliens. we wouldnt touch that stuff with a ten inch pole. but ive learned and tried things and im getting better. i still have a problem with fruit bc of its textures so i make fruit smoothies for breakfast. love veggies tho im defenitely not raising kids like that

SHBoss1673

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let along a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.
dawn

spaghettiO's and mac and cheese for new years eve? What parties do you go to?

and besides, you can say that all you want, but this woman was obese, AND the child was obese. If it's hormonal or chemical, then that stuff probably shouldn't be anywhere near either of them, and if it's not, then there's just plain no excuse anyway.

and yeah, you're damn right I'm being judgmental, I make no excuse for that. Sorry, but I'm not one to be oblivious to situations. At some point you need to be aware of the environment you are in, or else the problems going on around you are your own fault as much as everyone else.

Nikki_Z

I have a relative whose children have never eaten a fruit or vegetable. Never. Terrifying. I was on a visit this summer, and one of the kids (I think she's around eight. . .it's not a relative I'm close with) said "I'm hungry!", so I pulled a pear out of my bag and handed it to her. God is my witness, she asked me "what is this thing?" :noway:

Not exactly a laughing matter, but that last comment made me laugh! :happy:

As a trainer, I find it so hard sometimes not to say something, but then I remind myself that it's not my place to say something. (unless they come to me as a client!) But it's everywhere. Have you ever really looked at the people in line at fast food chains? They're exactly the people that should not be eating there! Well, really, no one should be, but you know what I mean.
I try to shop at a small market instead of the grocery store, except for the necessary items I can't get at the market. And even then, my basket at the grocery store gets filled with tofu and soy products!

godblessourhome

well, i go to a typical party i suppose - 12+ adult and just as many kids (maybe more). my kids don't get to drink soda, but my friends' kids do. mac and cheese and canned spagetti's is super simple and easy when you are cooking for kids whose tastes you don't normally know.

i'm so glad that people like you judge how 'obese' people eat. i'm sure it makes them feel very secure and not at all demeaned.

i love going out with a friend that is much heavier than i am. i will order the fattiest, gooeyist mess and she will have a salad, dressing on the side. whenever the order comes out, they always place the huge meal in front of 'the fat girl'. gotta love that.
dawn

melissahager

I have two young boys (5 and 7) who are very active in sports and sometimes I feel like a bad mom because they aren't allowed to eat like their friends! Snacks are fruit, 2% cheese, yogurt, and low fat granola bars. The only chips in the house are baked and I spend the extra money on things like 100 calorie packs of cookies for their lunches to help with portion and calorie control. They even eat multi-grain sandwhich thins instead of normal kid bread for sandwiches! And they do get to have "yummy" food on occasion for holidays and such, but the point is that they can't make the choices about which foods they should be eating. That's MY job as their mother. I am here to teach them and lead them down the path of healthy eating and portion control. So to fill a cart full of crap food when you are raising a child is unfair to that child. So fine, celebrate New Year's with some yummy snacks like real chocolate chip cookies and doritos, but throw some fruit in the mix!

SHBoss1673

well, i go to a typical party i suppose - 12+ adult and just as many kids (maybe more). my kids don't get to drink soda, but my friends' kids do. mac and cheese and canned spagetti's is super simple and easy when you are cooking for kids whose tastes you don't normally know.

i'm so glad that people like you judge how 'obese' people eat. i'm sure it makes them feel very secure and not at all demeaned.

i love going out with a friend that is much heavier than i am. i will order the fattiest, gooeyist mess and she will have a salad, dressing on the side. whenever the order comes out, they always place the huge meal in front of 'the fat girl'. gotta love that.
dawn

I was obese for much of my 30's so yeah, I judge how obese people eat, because I ATE like an obese person (an obese person that doesn't have a medical cause mind you). So what your saying is, because they might be offended, I'm not allowed to disapprove, in my own head, of what they are feeding their kids? Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.

So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.

If I had said something to her, then I could see someone's anger. But you're doing the same thing you're saying I did! Except I SPARED the object of my anger from the harsh words, where as you came out and tried to demean me for it.

kdh24

OK, I admit it, when I'm bored waiting in line I do look at what other people are buying. I'm amazed at the amount of junk food and pre-packaged food people will spend money on.

kdh24

SHBoss1673 ~ how do you make spaghetti squash in 15 mins? Please tell me! I love that stuff but it takes me like an hour to bake it. I'm new here so if you could contact me directly with your reply I'd appreciate it, since I don't know if I will see your reply here. But if that's not possible, no worries!

thx

Trav

OK so I know it's none of my business what's in someone else's cart but I'm in the checkout line with nothing to do but wait and I'm just looking through the lady's cart next to me kind of thinking well that's not overly healthy, but not thinking much over it. so I glance at the woman herself and she has a little girl in a tutu, she's about maybe 7 years old and she is GROSSLY overweight. So I glance back at the cart again, now I have a purpose.

Here's what I see.

2 pints of full fat coffee icecream
about 6 cans of spaghettiO's
a big back of potato chips (NOT baked)
3 boxes of macaroni and cheese (full fat Kraft)
a 24 pack of bottled water (which would be fine if not for what was below that)
a 24 pack of regular pepsi
and a 24 pack of mountain dew.

I didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge it, but really, if that's what this woman is feeding her child, I feel like this is borderline child abuse. This kid is going to have serious mental hurdles to climb once the other kids lay into her with the fat jokes. And lets be honest, they WILL start to fire off the fat jokes sooner or later.

I was SO angry. In this day and age, with nutrition information everywhere, really?

Hey man that was my cart....hahaha just messin

godblessourhome

just because you were obese does not mean every obese person eats like you ate.

as i said before, you have NO IDEA how this women feeds herself or her child. one grocery cart full of crap does not mean she always shops (or eats) like that. when i go to a party, it is usually potluck. someone brings some crap and someone else brings some crap and someone else brings some 'healthy' options, etc. based on the little that was in this cart, i think you are rushing to judgement that she 'borderline abuses' her child/ren.

even if she does buy like that/eat like that all the time, judging her is not going to make her life or her child's life easier. i think people who used to be overweight are way more harsh on the currently overweight than anyone else.

i am not telling you you have to change your mind on WHAT you think. but i do think it is silly of you to expect everyone to applaud you for your self-righteous thoughts; all i am doing is pointing out you may be wrong in your assessment of her.
dawn

Phoenix_Rising

OK so I know it's none of my business what's in someone else's cart but I'm in the checkout line with nothing to do but wait and I'm just looking through the lady's cart next to me kind of thinking well that's not overly healthy, but not thinking much over it. so I glance at the woman herself and she has a little girl in a tutu, she's about maybe 7 years old and she is GROSSLY overweight. So I glance back at the cart again, now I have a purpose.

Here's what I see.

2 pints of full fat coffee icecream
about 6 cans of spaghettiO's
a big back of potato chips (NOT baked)
3 boxes of macaroni and cheese (full fat Kraft)
a 24 pack of bottled water (which would be fine if not for what was below that)
a 24 pack of regular pepsi
and a 24 pack of mountain dew.

I didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge it, but really, if that's what this woman is feeding her child, I feel like this is borderline child abuse. This kid is going to have serious mental hurdles to climb once the other kids lay into her with the fat jokes. And lets be honest, they WILL start to fire off the fat jokes sooner or later.

I was SO angry. In this day and age, with nutrition information everywhere, really?

Hey man that was my cart....hahaha just messin

Sounded like what I ate all through college, when I was obese.
I didn't KNOW how to eat any better.
I didn't KNOW how many calories I needed, or how many I was intaking.
To the mom's defense, she probably is oblivious at how many calories she is packing into her own diet and her daughters.
The kid was in a tutu, so I imagine Mom thought the dance class was good exercise for her.

I'm not saying that she should be excused, but at the same time, ignorance means she simply doesn't realize what she is doing. Yes, we all know "fruits and veggies are healthy", but if your veggies are cooked "the Southern way", they are swimming in grease or butter. Unknowingly, you would be taking in tons of calories and fat, all while thinking you are doing something good eating your veggies.

vhuber

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.
dawn

**edited for spelling

Sorry to agree with shboss! Obviously this was a normal cart if that child was obese!! The kid can not get that overweight WITHOUT the help from the supplier!!! I look at the very overweight parents who are heavily breathing and bulging at the seams and I KNOW they do not like there state of health but then they turn around and give to the children! It is like a druggy parent handing it to the kids, or an alcoholic parent handing the child the alcohol. REALLY what the *ell is the difference! They are sick and they are making their children sick!!!

SHBoss1673

SHBoss1673 ~ how do you make spaghetti squash in 15 mins? Please tell me! I love that stuff but it takes me like an hour to bake it. I'm new here so if you could contact me directly with your reply I'd appreciate it, since I don't know if I will see your reply here. But if that's not possible, no worries!

thx

cut it in half, put about 1/2 an inch of water in the bottom of a microwave dish, and microwave it for about 8 to 12 minutes. Comes out the same as if you bake it.

filly

Welcome to the world.

The sad thing is that the majority of the western population is not educated enough to even begin to understand the first principles of nutrition.

Or maybe they choose not to understand.

Marketing conspires to make the sorts of 'foods' this woman had in her cart appealing. And marketing usually wins.

MercuryBlue

Totally see where you're coming from. My children are both healthy weights- but I will admit, they don't always eat the best things. Part of it is due to the fact that my husband doesn't really like healthy food, and he feeds the kids what he eats. It can be a constant battle just making sure they're fed GOOD foods.

Now, I'm a believer in treats, once in a while. But when you have junk food all the time, that's not a treat. If my son tells me he's hungry, he has the option of eating some crackers and cheese, some fruit, some yogurt- that sort of thing. I'm one of those 'mean moms' who makes him eat his veggies. I think it's important that he get proper nutrition. Fortunately I don't have to battle with my 13-month old, yet. He will eat anything I put in front of him! With the five year old... not so easy.

To be frank, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with a cartload of those sorts of foods. I know that, when I go shopping, I make an overall assessment of my cart to be sure that 90% of what's in there is good food. LOTS of fruits and veggies and whole grains and lean meats. My husband occassionaly sneaks a frozen pizza or box of fudgesicles in there, but for the most part, I'm not ashamed of what I buy. And I really DO think of that. I'm like, 'If a stranger were to look at my cart, would they roll their eyes and think I'm a total pig, or would they be impressed?' I know I shouldn't care what total strangers think of me but my logic is, if I'd be embarrassed by what I'm feeling my kids, then I shouldn't be feeding it to them.

SHBoss1673

just because you were obese does not mean every obese person eats like you ate.

as i said before, you have NO IDEA how this women feeds herself or her child. one grocery cart full of crap does not mean she always shops (or eats) like that. when i go to a party, it is usually potluck. someone brings some crap and someone else brings some crap and someone else brings some 'healthy' options, etc. based on the little that was in this cart, i think you are rushing to judgement that she 'borderline abuses' her child/ren.

even if she does buy like that/eat like that all the time, judging her is not going to make her life or her child's life easier. i think people who used to be overweight are way more harsh on the currently overweight than anyone else.

i am not telling you you have to change your mind on WHAT you think. but i do think it is silly of you to expect everyone to applaud you for your self-righteous thoughts; all i am doing is pointing out you may be wrong in your assessment of her.
dawn

Think what you want. I feel that I've earned the right to think my thoughts, my thoughts that will not hurt anyone unless I express them. You on the other hand, are calling me self-righteous based on a very small subset of information about me (sound familiar) is far worse, because you disregarded your own statements. You're absolutely right, I may be wrong. But then again, I may actually be right too. Either way, the difference between us is, I didn't attempt to put another human being down for it.

FireRox21

I don't think the original poster is being judgemental AT ALL! I see carts like this EVERY TIME I go shopping. I am in Southern California where cheap and easy food is king. The children I see are immensly obese and usually so are the parents. There is a mentality that "oh it's just baby fat" and "they will grow out of it". NOT EVEN CLOSE I live within walking distance of a junior high and high school. And let me tell you, they do NOT grow out of it. These obese kids grow up to be obese teenagers with the same horrible eating habits. I sometimes stop into 7-11 for a Diet Coke after running errands all day around the time school lets out. These overweight kids are snatching up chips (not baked), full sugar sodas, cookies, candies, hot dogs, etc. The list goes on. And this is before going home for dinner! I cringe every time I see and hear kids throwing temper tantrums in the grocery store because they want extra chocolate chip cookies and candies at the check out aisle all the while the parents' cart is loaded with CRAP!

It is so disheartening that these kids will grow up to be obese and have terrible habits. They will do everything they can to get out of PE class at school because it's TOO HARD! And when they get older and begin looking for work, they will find it more difficult to find employment. This is a sad, but true statistic. Companies will not hire an obese person. They will go for a trimmer and more "health-conscious looking" employee. This is not only to keep health insurance premiums lower for the company, but also to give the company a "better image".

And, don't even get me started on the cruelty of college!

CrystalT

Sounded like what I ate all through college, when I was obese.
I didn't KNOW how to eat any better.
I didn't KNOW how many calories I needed, or how many I was intaking.
To the mom's defense, she probably is oblivious at how many calories she is packing into her own diet and her daughters.
The kid was in a tutu, so I imagine Mom thought the dance class was good exercise for her.

I'm not saying that she should be excused, but at the same time, ignorance means she simply doesn't realize what she is doing. Yes, we all know "fruits and veggies are healthy", but if your veggies are cooked "the Southern way", they are swimming in grease or butter. Unknowingly, you would be taking in tons of calories and fat, all while thinking you are doing something good eating your veggies.

I don't know how old this woman was, but I'm 31 and my oldest sister is 39. We were both overweight children who became obese adults. This is how we ate. This is how I ate up until I started losing weight. Guess what, this is what my sister fed her son, who is overweight. If I had kids and I hadn't educated myself, I probably would have fed my kids this stuff. We didn't know anything different. The country is crying out for real, true widespread health, nutrition, and fitness education. Maybe if people realized what was in that stuff and how easy it is to eat healthier, better tasting food there just wouldn't be a need for the crap to be in the stores in the first place, potluck or no potluck.

CasperO

well, i go to a typical party i suppose -
<<snip>>
. gotta love that.
dawn

<<snip>>Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.

So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.

<<snip>>

Noone is telling you how to think. You are free to tilt at windmills and spit into the wind and struggle to hold back the tides and give yourself an ulcer to your heart's content.

""God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ""

This is one of them pesky things you cannot change. Blame it on Canada.

00Angela00

you should have handed them a card with "myfitnesspal.com" haha

SHBoss1673

well, i go to a typical party i suppose -
<<snip>>
. gotta love that.
dawn

<<snip>>Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.

So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.

<<snip>>

Noone is telling you how to think. You are free to tilt at windmills and spit into the wind and struggle to hold back the tides and give yourself an ulcer to your heart's content.

""God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ""

This is one of them pesky things you cannot change. Blame it on Canada.

here's her first quote

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.

if that's not telling someone how to think, I don't know what is.