Got really mad at the supermarket today

SHBoss1673

The cart Sheboss mentions could have been mine a year ago. Although I tried to make balanced meals (protein, starch, veg), my choices for those stunk! None of my children are overweight, neither was I until my surprise baby arrived, so I thought I was doing ok. Imagine my surprise to learn what high fructose corn syrup does and how many foods it is in? Or how much sugar common foods we ate regularly contained? Or nitrates? Or preservatives? Wow...so much have I learned in the past year.

That said, and in a possible, partial defense of the shopper, I shop at three separate stores for my weekly marketing. Family Dollar for the spices, paper products, and personal hygiene stuff; a farmers market for my fruits, veggies, dried legumes, and some imported foods, and the grocery store for the canned, frozen and organic dairy goods. So my cart might look a wee bit lopsided too, at the grocery. Not a veggie in sight!! LOL. I've already loaded up the car with those.

Unfortunately, I doubt that second part is the case here. the place I was at has very low prices, and very good quality, mostly locally grown (when in season) fruits and veggies.

Mina133842

couple things- I too was raised on LOTS of unhealthy foods, not necessarily all pre-packaged stuff- but my mom thought if it was home-baked it was so much better than the store bought. If it's full of butter and sugar, white flour, guess what...STILL bad for you. I also had my fair share of mac 'n' cheese- and when it goes on sale, I tend to buy some boxes for the pantry. THAT being said (I don't NOT allow my family to have it every now and then, but it's not a staple in our diet) I have often catered parties for friends and family - and they CHOOSE the menu. I can tell you, that child is probably eating that food. We did, and my parents did too. Hamburger Helper was the norm at my parents' house. it was an easy, and quick meal, and we could make it for dinner (which my parents usually worked late, so that's what we could cook from 8yrs old on). I can only hope to be WAY better for my son - he's almost one, and I can tell you, he gets vegetables, and then fruit for his baby food. ALWAYS a vegetable first. If kids are left to choose their own food, they'll choose the junk. That's what parenting is all about- teaching your kids the right choices, or making the right choices for them. I disagree about a kid ever going on a diet - I think that you can make healthy low-cal food for the child, and if they don't know any better (ie- they're not told they're on a diet) why is that a bad thing? I think a Doctor/nutritionist/pediatrician (obviously) should be involved in that decision, but still...my neice is one of those CHUNKY kids- and I've seen her plate at the holidays- my sis-in-law puts more food on that plate (all of it starchy stuff too) than I had on my dinner plate - she was about 3 at the time..3!

Mina133842

I have often catered parties for friends and family - and they CHOOSE the menu.

sorry - I meant to say I've had shopping carts that probably looked like that too - full of chips, and all the makings for multiple cakes, ice cream, soda, etc, but they weren't actually for me and my family, and I saw all the looks of disgust/disbelief, and I'm sure if I said "it's not for me, I swear" I would have seen the eye-roll.

BamaRose0107

I have two young boys (5 and 7) who are very active in sports and sometimes I feel like a bad mom because they aren't allowed to eat like their friends! Snacks are fruit, 2% cheese, yogurt, and low fat granola bars. The only chips in the house are baked and I spend the extra money on things like 100 calorie packs of cookies for their lunches to help with portion and calorie control. They even eat multi-grain sandwhich thins instead of normal kid bread for sandwiches! And they do get to have "yummy" food on occasion for holidays and such, but the point is that they can't make the choices about which foods they should be eating. That's MY job as their mother. I am here to teach them and lead them down the path of healthy eating and portion control. So to fill a cart full of crap food when you are raising a child is unfair to that child. So fine, celebrate New Year's with some yummy snacks like real chocolate chip cookies and doritos, but throw some fruit in the mix!

Sounds like you're about as bad a mother as I am To this day my children (25, 23, 22) still talk about how when I made them a sandwich, I only used whole wheat bread, and how after Halloween I'd freeze the chocolate candy they got and give them one piece/day in their lunchbox. But you know something? Today the 25 year old would rather have a salad. She started to get a "pouchy" stomach when she started cooking for herself, but today she'll ask me things like "which is the best cereal to have"

My 23 year old was quite overweight when he was in high school. I knew that at that age, I could only be there to support him, he had to make the decision to lose the weight himself. When he got to college, boy did he ever lose the weight. Not to sound like I'm bragging -- but what shoulders and body!

What makes me so sad is when I'm in WalMart and the mother is giving her child a small bag of french fries to keep the child quiet while she shops. What's wrong with taking blueberries?

I live in the South and, unfortunately, finding healthy food is REALLY hard to do. You should see what the local WalMart carries! So I wind up having to go to multiple stores. It's sad when you see that they discontinue the healthy food in favor of something unhealthy. We used to have a few stores around here that had these 9" giant message cookies (hubby likes them). Now just about every store has discontinued the 9" in favor of the 12". That's not to say that those cookies are healthy, but given the choice, I'd rather get the smaller cookie.

One thing I do wish my mother had introduced me to was beans. I don't think we ever had them. To this day I don't like the texture of beans. Now hummus -- that I like. So it's got to be the texture.

Hubby is embarassed when we're traveling and he stops at a fast food restaurant. I have my bag of snacks and I take that in with me. I usually make a turkey sandwich, take some fruit, some of those small boxes of soy milk or juice. He wants us to sit in the back so they don't see the "contraband". Well, I'd rather bring my own food, at least I know what I'm putting into my body

Going out to eat at a Southern restaurant is a real challenge. You should see my order! Like the other day I asked for a plan sweet potato. The waiter went on to tell me how the sweet potato came with brown sugar and butter. It's a sweet potato! Why would you need added sugar? He finally gave it to me plain, but I swear it looked really overcooked when I got it. I had to return it, it looked so bad. Most restaurants I call ahead and ask them if they can broil or steam whatever it is. There are quite a few places where the norm is to give the (say crabcakes) deep fried. Why can't the norm be to broil and if you want it deep fried, you have to order it special? Oh well <shrugs shoulders while getting off her soapbox>

I am from the south also. My normal grocery day consists of me going to at least 3 different stores.

godblessourhome

thanks for asking.

my cart usually consists of:
fresh green beans (we grow our own in the summer)
zuchini and yellow squash (we grow our own in the summer)
spagetti squash
sliced potabella mushrooms
baby carrots (we grow our own in the summer)
baby spinach
fresh spring greens salad mix
red onions
cucumbers
yellow and green peppers (we grow our own in the summer)
brocolli and califlower in the steam bag (we pay for the convenience lol)
asparagus
edamame
idohoan mashed potatos (i prefer them to real mashed though we grow our own in the summer)
avocados (seasonal)
bananas
cantelope/honey dew melon
apples
oranges
blueberries
raspberries (we grow our own in the summer)
fresh pineapple
pears
blackberries and mango (seasonal)
feta cheese
blue cheese
provolone cheese
gouda cheese
colby cheese
shredded cheddar
low-fat cottage cheese
sour cream
wheat pasta
hunt's chunky veggie spagetti sauce (i use it in pretty much everything)
bags of black beans, navy beans, seven bean and twelve bean mixes
canned chili beans
canned kidney beans and white kidney beans
brown rice
tortillas (both flour and corn)
v-8 and v-8 splash
peanut butter
alpine apple cider (i buy it by the case)
tea and honey
special k cereal (all varieties, though i've a leaning to the cinnamon pecan)
nature valley fruit and nut bars
string cheese
laughing cow cheese
deli sliced meats (whatever is on sale)
simply orange orange juice
canned manwich
canned tuna
various canned soups, especially tomato or fat-free cream of mushroom
bisquick

or some variation thereof.

we hunt, so we normally eat deer/antelope mixed 50/50 with porkloin. we don't eat tomatoes unless we grow them (personal preference), i bake my own break with wheat flour and make our own jelly, and although my children are not allowed any products made with cow's milk, i am totally addicted to cheese.

i have been known to buy soda (even though i don't ever drink it), full fat chips, or boxed food (like suddenly salad or mac and cheese) for a family gathering. if that happens that might be the only thing in my cart. i would hate to think someone thought i was abusing my kids. i even have 6 cans of beeferoni in the cupboard and several canned fruits and veggies for a blizzard, although i should probably take a look at their expiration date. i believe people become obese less by what they eat, but more by lack of activity or lack of portion control. of course, maybe that is why i am currently on here (because i am in need of a paradigm shift).
dawn

MercuryBlue

I think the point of this vent isn't just that the woman's cart was full of junk. If she were healthy looking and her child were healthy looking, someone might think, "Woah, that's a lot of junk!" but not make many more judgements because it could be a one-shot deal.

But since the woman and her child were both OBESE, obviously their cart is a reflection of their lifestyle. And while it's fine to choose that lifestyle for youself of that's what you want, it's unfair and irresponsible to push it on your children. Sort of like smoking in the car with your kids in the backseat.

BrendaLee

It's not fair. It's laziness on the part of the parent- there's no lack of knowledge excuse these days. I worked so hard to keep my child from getting fat as she grew up. I had to tell her no at times when I was stuffing my face, and it would have been easy as pie to let her overeat with me, but I was willing to be the bad guy when it came to her health and happiness. Even now at almost 15 if I let her eat whatever she wanted, she'd balloon up- because she has the same tendencies towards food that I have.

I agree that it's a form of child abuse- at the very least child neglect.

BrendaLee

just because you were obese does not mean every obese person eats like you ate.

as i said before, you have NO IDEA how this women feeds herself or her child. one grocery cart full of crap does not mean she always shops (or eats) like that. when i go to a party, it is usually potluck. someone brings some crap and someone else brings some crap and someone else brings some 'healthy' options, etc. based on the little that was in this cart, i think you are rushing to judgement that she 'borderline abuses' her child/ren.

even if she does buy like that/eat like that all the time, judging her is not going to make her life or her child's life easier. i think people who used to be overweight are way more harsh on the currently overweight than anyone else.

i am not telling you you have to change your mind on WHAT you think. but i do think it is silly of you to expect everyone to applaud you for your self-righteous thoughts; all i am doing is pointing out you may be wrong in your assessment of her.
dawn

He's not doing anything to hurt or affect that woman. He's on MFP venting to us- which is perfectly fine in my opinion. She was obese, the child was obese, and she had a cart full of junk- he's not the only one who would note that. I'm sometimes embarassed of what I have in my cart for the simple fact I KNOW people are paying attention.

wks7777

kinda off subject but this makes me think of what people must think of my cart when they see a combo of mine and my kids healthy foods (fresh veggies and fruits low fat cheeses whole grain breads and pastas etc) and then my husbands poptarts, waffles, white bread and ramen noodles lol, i just wish i could get him to see its not that more expensive to eat healthy, but he fights me on it still!

Zara11

just because you were obese does not mean every obese person eats like you ate.

as i said before, you have NO IDEA how this women feeds herself or her child. one grocery cart full of crap does not mean she always shops (or eats) like that. when i go to a party, it is usually potluck. someone brings some crap and someone else brings some crap and someone else brings some 'healthy' options, etc. based on the little that was in this cart, i think you are rushing to judgement that she 'borderline abuses' her child/ren.

even if she does buy like that/eat like that all the time, judging her is not going to make her life or her child's life easier. i think people who used to be overweight are way more harsh on the currently overweight than anyone else.

i am not telling you you have to change your mind on WHAT you think. but i do think it is silly of you to expect everyone to applaud you for your self-righteous thoughts; all i am doing is pointing out you may be wrong in your assessment of her.
dawn

Let us view it this way.
She may have not fed herself or her child like that every day, but plenty do. Enough that having a visual cue to remind us of that is infuriating because that child, whoever and wherever she or he may be, will go through hell at some point for it.

Tamishumate

I will admit, I did not read page two of this thread.
But I agree with SheBoss. And I am sorry, but Dont we ALL JUDGE????? I do it now, and I KNOW FOR A FACT people use to do it to me!!! My 16 year old son and I go to the store every other week, and we buy some not healthy foods cause my husband is not on board with this lifestyle ( like its a sin or something, lol) , so anyway, we buy him his crap that he wants, and when he goes, he buys us the healthy stuff we want. ANYWAY, Jake said to me one day " I would hate to think someone thinks WE EAT THIS CRAP! " I am right there with ya Jake. So my 16 year old son thinks about being judge, and Also JUDGES what people have in their carts, I am sure you do too...

ashaver_21

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."– Maya Angelou

miaangel345

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."– Maya Angelou

lovely quote! I agree, of course when I go shopping I NEVER buy the full fat ice-cream always 1/2 fat if I do buy ice cream. I'm not much of a snacker try to get full off meals.

I just looked up the calories for Kraft Mac & Cheese and Spaghettios, they are not that bad, just about 250-280 for a meal which is good, in my opinion.

Also, it's not polite to judge.

mdseevers

one day I'm in the store with my daughter (12 at the time) buying food and two cases of Diet Pepsi Max. At the check out lane I hear a childs voice ask her mother what was "Pepsi Max". The mother replied loudly " it is a diet drink that is VERY BAD for children and shame on anyone who lets their child drink it". I turned to look at her so that would know I heard her. this is what I see! A woman that is about 5' 5" and at least 200 lbs. buying a six pack of Pepsi and several candy bars. I turned to the child and said. " if you ever wonder why your mother is bigger then other mothers, it is because she feeds herself was sugar and fat!" I then turned to her and told her to start at home before calling out others. The woman just stared at me and then I turned and left.

FireRox21

Though it is not polite to judge, we will judge, as is human nature. Though it is a sad part of human life, we are judged EVERYDAY on what we wear, how we speak,, how we look, etc. In this case, it is not a matter of what is in the cart, as to more of what is in the heart of the person with the cart. Do they know of the harm that they are causing, most likely not, but we are not here to tell. We may only stand on the sidelines and wait, till said child joins us on MFP!

arewethereyet

I had a wake up call in the grocery line yesterday that reminded me how I have backslid in the food department.

I had my stuff on the belt, and a man behind me had the other 1/2 of the belt. I looked right at him and said OMG...that is how I shopped until last month!!!! He LOL and said the holidays can do that to us, and he was glad to be a good example.(as he sheepishly slid his icecream onto the belt :laugh:)

So now I will go with a list!!


As for the mom in line. There are a few things to consider here.
1. those are all very inexpensive foods (except the soda)
2. my daughter lived on mac and cheese, wouldnt eat anything else
3. some ppl do not know any better

I see this each time I go shopping and now with just overweight ppl. I have seen svelte moms who are still sweaty from the gym with big bags of chips, cases of soda and other garbage for the family.

arewethereyet

I will admit, I did not read page two of this thread.
But I agree with SheBoss. And I am sorry, but Dont we ALL JUDGE????? I do it now, and I KNOW FOR A FACT people use to do it to me!!! My 16 year old son and I go to the store every other week, and we buy some not healthy foods cause my husband is not on board with this lifestyle ( like its a sin or something, lol) , so anyway, we buy him his crap that he wants, and when he goes, he buys us the healthy stuff we want. ANYWAY, Jake said to me one day " I would hate to think someone thinks WE EAT THIS CRAP! " I am right there with ya Jake. So my 16 year old son thinks about being judge, and Also JUDGES what people have in their carts, I am sure you do too...

Tam...IDK about judging....I kinda feel sorry for ppl in line, thinking they have not been blessed with the knowledge I have been over the past 2 yrs. I so want to give them my phone number and a card with MFP web address on it!!!

kimber607

I like manu of u was raised on a diet of yodels and funny bones and sugary cereal....
I'm not making any excuses but I think it is a 'little' different once you become a parent
Pre-kids I never ever thought I would have allowed my kids to eat 'some' of the things they eat now....they are both average weight (my ds is actually a little UNDER weight....)
I have a 4.5 and 6 yr old and they are both HORRIBLE/picky eaters...that being said, we don't have soda in the house...nor do I buy chips, unhealthy snacks etc
I save the special treats for a b-day party or get together at a friend's house
I do bribe my kids with dessert...if they eat a healthy dinner....dessert is usually a all natural oatmeal cookie, a square or 2 of dark chocolate, 1/2 low fat ice-cream sandwich or bowl of frozen yogurt with a little topping of low fat or fat free whipped cream....

I also admit to checking out other peoples carts while waiting at the check-out...
Kim

igmom

God bless my mother for taking me to the farmer's market and teaching me how to grow and cook vegetables at a very young age! She was over weight as a child, and did not want us to suffer like she did. One of my sisters and I have struggled with our weight on and off through the years. So our mother's efforts weren't an absolute assurance that we wouldn't struggle, but they certainly gave me a taste for fresh and wholesome food, and all the tools for selecting and preparing it.

michlingle

I love looking in people's carts, I'm judgmental, I don't care, I'll admit it. That being said, I am going to go to the grocery store soon, I hope people aren't going to think that just because it's Jan. 1 that my cart is full of healthy things...hmm. I wonder if on Jan. 1 grocery stores see an increase in healthy purchases? Ah well, probably like those people who go to the gym for a month, this month, and get in the way....