Got really mad at the supermarket today

vhuber

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.
dawn

**edited for spelling

Sorry to agree with shboss! Obviously this was a normal cart if that child was obese!! The kid can not get that overweight WITHOUT the help from the supplier!!! I look at the very overweight parents who are heavily breathing and bulging at the seams and I KNOW they do not like there state of health but then they turn around and give to the children! It is like a druggy parent handing it to the kids, or an alcoholic parent handing the child the alcohol. REALLY what the *ell is the difference! They are sick and they are making their children sick!!!

SHBoss1673

SHBoss1673 ~ how do you make spaghetti squash in 15 mins? Please tell me! I love that stuff but it takes me like an hour to bake it. I'm new here so if you could contact me directly with your reply I'd appreciate it, since I don't know if I will see your reply here. But if that's not possible, no worries!

thx

cut it in half, put about 1/2 an inch of water in the bottom of a microwave dish, and microwave it for about 8 to 12 minutes. Comes out the same as if you bake it.

filly

Welcome to the world.

The sad thing is that the majority of the western population is not educated enough to even begin to understand the first principles of nutrition.

Or maybe they choose not to understand.

Marketing conspires to make the sorts of 'foods' this woman had in her cart appealing. And marketing usually wins.

MercuryBlue

Totally see where you're coming from. My children are both healthy weights- but I will admit, they don't always eat the best things. Part of it is due to the fact that my husband doesn't really like healthy food, and he feeds the kids what he eats. It can be a constant battle just making sure they're fed GOOD foods.

Now, I'm a believer in treats, once in a while. But when you have junk food all the time, that's not a treat. If my son tells me he's hungry, he has the option of eating some crackers and cheese, some fruit, some yogurt- that sort of thing. I'm one of those 'mean moms' who makes him eat his veggies. I think it's important that he get proper nutrition. Fortunately I don't have to battle with my 13-month old, yet. He will eat anything I put in front of him! With the five year old... not so easy.

To be frank, I'd be embarrassed to be seen with a cartload of those sorts of foods. I know that, when I go shopping, I make an overall assessment of my cart to be sure that 90% of what's in there is good food. LOTS of fruits and veggies and whole grains and lean meats. My husband occassionaly sneaks a frozen pizza or box of fudgesicles in there, but for the most part, I'm not ashamed of what I buy. And I really DO think of that. I'm like, 'If a stranger were to look at my cart, would they roll their eyes and think I'm a total pig, or would they be impressed?' I know I shouldn't care what total strangers think of me but my logic is, if I'd be embarrassed by what I'm feeling my kids, then I shouldn't be feeding it to them.

SHBoss1673

just because you were obese does not mean every obese person eats like you ate.

as i said before, you have NO IDEA how this women feeds herself or her child. one grocery cart full of crap does not mean she always shops (or eats) like that. when i go to a party, it is usually potluck. someone brings some crap and someone else brings some crap and someone else brings some 'healthy' options, etc. based on the little that was in this cart, i think you are rushing to judgement that she 'borderline abuses' her child/ren.

even if she does buy like that/eat like that all the time, judging her is not going to make her life or her child's life easier. i think people who used to be overweight are way more harsh on the currently overweight than anyone else.

i am not telling you you have to change your mind on WHAT you think. but i do think it is silly of you to expect everyone to applaud you for your self-righteous thoughts; all i am doing is pointing out you may be wrong in your assessment of her.
dawn

Think what you want. I feel that I've earned the right to think my thoughts, my thoughts that will not hurt anyone unless I express them. You on the other hand, are calling me self-righteous based on a very small subset of information about me (sound familiar) is far worse, because you disregarded your own statements. You're absolutely right, I may be wrong. But then again, I may actually be right too. Either way, the difference between us is, I didn't attempt to put another human being down for it.

FireRox21

I don't think the original poster is being judgemental AT ALL! I see carts like this EVERY TIME I go shopping. I am in Southern California where cheap and easy food is king. The children I see are immensly obese and usually so are the parents. There is a mentality that "oh it's just baby fat" and "they will grow out of it". NOT EVEN CLOSE I live within walking distance of a junior high and high school. And let me tell you, they do NOT grow out of it. These obese kids grow up to be obese teenagers with the same horrible eating habits. I sometimes stop into 7-11 for a Diet Coke after running errands all day around the time school lets out. These overweight kids are snatching up chips (not baked), full sugar sodas, cookies, candies, hot dogs, etc. The list goes on. And this is before going home for dinner! I cringe every time I see and hear kids throwing temper tantrums in the grocery store because they want extra chocolate chip cookies and candies at the check out aisle all the while the parents' cart is loaded with CRAP!

It is so disheartening that these kids will grow up to be obese and have terrible habits. They will do everything they can to get out of PE class at school because it's TOO HARD! And when they get older and begin looking for work, they will find it more difficult to find employment. This is a sad, but true statistic. Companies will not hire an obese person. They will go for a trimmer and more "health-conscious looking" employee. This is not only to keep health insurance premiums lower for the company, but also to give the company a "better image".

And, don't even get me started on the cruelty of college!

CrystalT

Sounded like what I ate all through college, when I was obese.
I didn't KNOW how to eat any better.
I didn't KNOW how many calories I needed, or how many I was intaking.
To the mom's defense, she probably is oblivious at how many calories she is packing into her own diet and her daughters.
The kid was in a tutu, so I imagine Mom thought the dance class was good exercise for her.

I'm not saying that she should be excused, but at the same time, ignorance means she simply doesn't realize what she is doing. Yes, we all know "fruits and veggies are healthy", but if your veggies are cooked "the Southern way", they are swimming in grease or butter. Unknowingly, you would be taking in tons of calories and fat, all while thinking you are doing something good eating your veggies.

I don't know how old this woman was, but I'm 31 and my oldest sister is 39. We were both overweight children who became obese adults. This is how we ate. This is how I ate up until I started losing weight. Guess what, this is what my sister fed her son, who is overweight. If I had kids and I hadn't educated myself, I probably would have fed my kids this stuff. We didn't know anything different. The country is crying out for real, true widespread health, nutrition, and fitness education. Maybe if people realized what was in that stuff and how easy it is to eat healthier, better tasting food there just wouldn't be a need for the crap to be in the stores in the first place, potluck or no potluck.

CasperO

well, i go to a typical party i suppose -
<<snip>>
. gotta love that.
dawn

<<snip>>Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.

So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.

<<snip>>

Noone is telling you how to think. You are free to tilt at windmills and spit into the wind and struggle to hold back the tides and give yourself an ulcer to your heart's content.

""God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ""

This is one of them pesky things you cannot change. Blame it on Canada.

00Angela00

you should have handed them a card with "myfitnesspal.com" haha

SHBoss1673

well, i go to a typical party i suppose -
<<snip>>
. gotta love that.
dawn

<<snip>>Mind you, they CANNOT be ashamed of what I am thinking, nor did they know I had any judgement.

So in other words, you're trying to tell me how to think.

<<snip>>

Noone is telling you how to think. You are free to tilt at windmills and spit into the wind and struggle to hold back the tides and give yourself an ulcer to your heart's content.

""God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ""

This is one of them pesky things you cannot change. Blame it on Canada.

here's her first quote

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.

if that's not telling someone how to think, I don't know what is.

jrbowers83

Hmm, I have to say this would make me mad too. Except that my shopping cart looks like this when I'm stocking up for the kids and my husband. They all eat like crazy, and I can't seem to MAKE my kids gain weight. (my hubs has started cutting back a little -with me- at home, but still eats like crazy for lunch and dinner at work). My 6 yo son is actually underweight, and my daughter is in the 15th percentile for her weight at 1 year of age. They eat mac/cheese or spaghettios a couple times a week, some sort of fast food once a week, and lots of sugary cereal. But I do make sure to supplement these foods with steamed veggies, applesauce or fresh fruit, yogurt etc. My son and daughter both drink whole milk. I worry about them losing weight, and my son is a very picky eater, so I just try to make sure they eat SOMETHING! I do think it's sad that some ppl can eat like this and stay skinny, and others are like that mom and daughter you saw it just completely blows them out of proportion. You also have to realize the misconcept so many parents have--- it's been said many times that you should NEVER put a child on a "diet". Well, to us who've been educating ourselves, we know this means that you should not RESTRICT a child's calories, but should try to make as many of those calories count by have unprocessed foods, complex carbs, fruits/veggies. But most ppl think that means that their kids have to eat whatever is out there, and as much until they stop saying they're hungry. In this day where few mothers breastfeed, most infants are raised never recognizing fullness cues and it continues the rest of their life. My mother has this problem still- even after a large buffet she will at some point make herself stop eating, but never seems to have that "my stomach is gonna burst" feeling like most of us get. And growing up, my mom fed us Hostess cakes on a daily basis. Have you looked at the nutritional content on those things? But they were cheap and the only way she knew to "treat" us as we were poor. (Could be another reason for that lady's shopping cart, those sound like sale items). It's taken a very long time to break so many of the food misconceptions my mom burned into me, and I hope that I'm not doing the same to my kids feeding them spaghettios and mac/cheese. You've given me something to think about the next time I go shopping anyway.

BamaRose0107

I agree with the original poster I have been there and I know first hand how that child will be teased and tormented if they continue to gain weight! Children have to be taught nutrition and that is the parents job. When I was young I was always over weight and then obese. My mom bought quick foods for me and my brother. Pizza, chips, cookies and we could snack all day if we wanted to. I was tormented when I was in school. I hated every minute of it. I ended up on depression medicine when I was 16. I never had anyone guiding me to a healthy life style. I wish I would have been in better health when I was younger. I missed out on so much because of my weight. When I started losing weight I was finally able to go and do things that I could not before. I still remember going on field trips to amusements parks and being so embarrassed I could not fit on some of the rides. Its not being judgemental to point these things out maybe talking about it will make parents more aware of what their kids are consuming while at home.

Nmama

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.

This makes me LOL. I guess they got obese on all those veggies and fruit she has at home huh?

MercuryBlue

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.

This makes me LOL. I guess they got obese on all those veggies and fruit she has at home huh?

Lol. Or maybe it's genetic.

(That in itself bothers me. Yes, some people, because of genetics, will be more prone to being heavy than others. However, I don't think anyone is OBESE due to genetics alone. Genetics may make it HARDER to be thin, but not impossible. Diet and lifestyle are still a huge factor!)

lbpw

that kinda stuff makes me feel really bad for those kids. i see it and i just think why. why do you have to feed your kid all of that stuff. the parent is supposed to set the example and obviously they are not. i was overweight since i was 7 and it sucked. my parents always cooked healthy and then they started fighting and got divorced. during their divorce all they fed me was junk food because they were so stressed and dealing with so much. so i try not to judge completely because i don't know the situation in every case but still being a heavy kid around all your other skinny friends is so hard.

CrystalT

i think you are being really judgemental. that is not a full cart of groceries for family for a day, let alone a week. those could possibly be snacks or replenishing the pantry or for special occasions (like, i don't know, NEW YEAR'S EVE). you have no idea what this women has at home in the manner of fresh fruits or veggies, or what her child is eating.

This makes me LOL. I guess they got obese on all those veggies and fruit she has at home huh?

Lol. Or maybe it's genetic.

(That in itself bothers me. Yes, some people, because of genetics, will be more prone to being heavy than others. However, I don't think anyone is OBESE due to genetics alone. Genetics may make it HARDER to be thin, but not impossible. Diet and lifestyle are still a huge factor!)

How can you truly know if it is genetics anyway. If a person can become obese without it being genetic, that person is obviously eating unhealthy, right? Most likely their kids will follow the same eating patterns and probably become obese themselves. It still isn't genetic, but a lot of people would say it was because their parent was obese. I used to use this excuse myself. It held me back for years because I didn't think I could do anything about it. Now I know better. I'm not obese because my parents are obese. I'm obese because my parents taught me terrible eating habits. I still love them, they were wonderful parents over all. I would never accuse them of abusing me. But I know the habits I had were bad and I'm trying my best to form new ones and hopefully set an example for the rest of my family.

ashaver_21

This is a great topic! I find myself upset to know that there are people out there that are to lazy to cook for their kids. I have a few friends that have obese children but yet the parents eat right and go to the gym everyday. What ever happened to including your kids or educating them?

As for this woman mentioned it makes me sick that she can not see that her daughter is unhealthy. As a mother of two, let me rephrase that as a young mother of two I had a lot of hurdles but one of them was not I don't know how to keep my kids healthy..... Personally mac and cheese and all that canned crap that sports that there is a full serving of veggies in should not have even been made....

I grow my own veggies, My kids help and have their own gardens that they have to keep up. I have a full time job and still find time to include exercise and sports and healthy foods into my kids lives.... There is no excuses for not eating healthy.

And to Dawn.... I am glad there is always one person to jump in and say there is not enough evidence to base ones judgement. What is in your cart? Although non of my business. It is human nature to judge whether its fair or not its what we do. And it is what we do with our judgements that matters. Next time you are at a store judging people that are judging other people remind your self to stop being such a hypocrite....

DestinyMarrie

OK, I admit it, when I'm bored waiting in line I do look at what other people are buying. I'm amazed at the amount of junk food and pre-packaged food people will spend money on.

I felt so bad for the little girl who has NO idea the world of hurt she is in for. I wanted to grab her and take her home and say "don't worry hon, I'll fix you right up."

My wife grew up overweight, in weight watchers by 12, still has issues with her weight, still has days where she gets visibly angry with me if she's having a bad day and I mention food and/or exercise, it really ends up dominating their life for a long time. It's almost like torture.

No.. IT IS TORTURE!!!!

And the SAD thing is ALOT of moms focus on themselves loosing weight, so they buy healthy things for themselves and dont think to find healthy things for their kids because they ASSUME they will be fine.

I think moms need to think more about their children and teach them how to cook right.

Women USUALLY ALWAYS have self worth issues already.. weight issues is a forever thing!!!!

exermom

I have two young boys (5 and 7) who are very active in sports and sometimes I feel like a bad mom because they aren't allowed to eat like their friends! Snacks are fruit, 2% cheese, yogurt, and low fat granola bars. The only chips in the house are baked and I spend the extra money on things like 100 calorie packs of cookies for their lunches to help with portion and calorie control. They even eat multi-grain sandwhich thins instead of normal kid bread for sandwiches! And they do get to have "yummy" food on occasion for holidays and such, but the point is that they can't make the choices about which foods they should be eating. That's MY job as their mother. I am here to teach them and lead them down the path of healthy eating and portion control. So to fill a cart full of crap food when you are raising a child is unfair to that child. So fine, celebrate New Year's with some yummy snacks like real chocolate chip cookies and doritos, but throw some fruit in the mix!

Sounds like you're about as bad a mother as I am To this day my children (25, 23, 22) still talk about how when I made them a sandwich, I only used whole wheat bread, and how after Halloween I'd freeze the chocolate candy they got and give them one piece/day in their lunchbox. But you know something? Today the 25 year old would rather have a salad. She started to get a "pouchy" stomach when she started cooking for herself, but today she'll ask me things like "which is the best cereal to have"

My 23 year old was quite overweight when he was in high school. I knew that at that age, I could only be there to support him, he had to make the decision to lose the weight himself. When he got to college, boy did he ever lose the weight. Not to sound like I'm bragging -- but what shoulders and body!

What makes me so sad is when I'm in WalMart and the mother is giving her child a small bag of french fries to keep the child quiet while she shops. What's wrong with taking blueberries?

I live in the South and, unfortunately, finding healthy food is REALLY hard to do. You should see what the local WalMart carries! So I wind up having to go to multiple stores. It's sad when you see that they discontinue the healthy food in favor of something unhealthy. We used to have a few stores around here that had these 9" giant message cookies (hubby likes them). Now just about every store has discontinued the 9" in favor of the 12". That's not to say that those cookies are healthy, but given the choice, I'd rather get the smaller cookie.

One thing I do wish my mother had introduced me to was beans. I don't think we ever had them. To this day I don't like the texture of beans. Now hummus -- that I like. So it's got to be the texture.

Hubby is embarassed when we're traveling and he stops at a fast food restaurant. I have my bag of snacks and I take that in with me. I usually make a turkey sandwich, take some fruit, some of those small boxes of soy milk or juice. He wants us to sit in the back so they don't see the "contraband". Well, I'd rather bring my own food, at least I know what I'm putting into my body

Going out to eat at a Southern restaurant is a real challenge. You should see my order! Like the other day I asked for a plan sweet potato. The waiter went on to tell me how the sweet potato came with brown sugar and butter. It's a sweet potato! Why would you need added sugar? He finally gave it to me plain, but I swear it looked really overcooked when I got it. I had to return it, it looked so bad. Most restaurants I call ahead and ask them if they can broil or steam whatever it is. There are quite a few places where the norm is to give the (say crabcakes) deep fried. Why can't the norm be to broil and if you want it deep fried, you have to order it special? Oh well <shrugs shoulders while getting off her soapbox>

stormieweather

The cart Sheboss mentions could have been mine a year ago. Although I tried to make balanced meals (protein, starch, veg), my choices for those stunk! None of my children are overweight, neither was I until my surprise baby arrived, so I thought I was doing ok. Imagine my surprise to learn what high fructose corn syrup does and how many foods it is in? Or how much sugar common foods we ate regularly contained? Or nitrates? Or preservatives? Wow...so much have I learned in the past year.

That said, and in a possible, partial defense of the shopper, I shop at three separate stores for my weekly marketing. Family Dollar for the spices, paper products, and personal hygiene stuff; a farmers market for my fruits, veggies, dried legumes, and some imported foods, and the grocery store for the canned, frozen and organic dairy goods. So my cart might look a wee bit lopsided too, at the grocery. Not a veggie in sight!! LOL. I've already loaded up the car with those.