Dating and kids
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I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!0
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Seeing as how I have kids.. Yes.
I am blessed to have met someone who treats my kids like they are his own.0 -
yup. more to love and saves me from the scary part. besides, they are part of someone you fell in love with. They get mad love by default.0
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I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!
This exactly.0 -
Definietly! My boyfriend treats my daughter like his own. If I was single and in the reverse sitaution I would do the same.0
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Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
The man I am talking to does haha, his ex is in rehab for meth.0 -
I have full custody.....said drama is over.
She is an alcoholic and has moved 1800 miles away.
I hope one day I will meet someone. No rush...kids first.
Yes I would date someone that had kids as well.0 -
I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.0
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Nope. I'm not having kids and don't want any baby mama drama.0
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I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.
This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.0 -
My god, do I know how to kill a thread or what?0
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If I was single and came across such a guy, sure why not.
Who doesn't love the Brady Bunch.0 -
As a woman who has primary custody of her child, this is going to sound weird, but no (if I didn't have a child).
I admire and respect a man who cares for his children, but if I were a single gal with no children of my own, I don't think I could do it. This is also going to sound weird, but I don't really like other people's kids. Not in a mean way or anything, I'm just really awkward around other people's children and don't really like being around a lot of kids, babysitting or being a teacher never appealed to me, etc. So I don't think I'd be interested in dating somebody who had children if I didn't. Plus I'd be concerned about baby-mama drama and all that business, plus not wanting to overstep my role in the child's life, etc. Just seems really complicated.
My boyfriend is awesome. He is not my son's biological father, and he had no qualms about dating me even though I had an almost 2 year old at the time. He has been amazing to my son, and I just really couldn't ask for a better situation with him, but he's also got a hell of a lot more patience than I do, and he loves kids. He understood I couldn't hang out all the time, or go out a lot, or have him over or anything for a while because my child came first (in fact on our first date I flat out told him "my son will always be more important than you are, can you deal with that?" I'm surprised he didn't turn around and run), but if the roles were reversed I don't think I'd be as understanding or as patient, if that makes sense.0 -
I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one.
This. Exactly. Well, I was a single mom. My husband accepted my daughter with no strongs attached. I dont know what it is like to date someone with kids because I never did but it wasnt because I was apposed, it was bc I never met anyone like that.
Is dating/marrying someone with kids easy- no. Its a whole other element to the relationship but it can be a really great one.0 -
I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.
This. Exactly.
This was actually a big part of why my ex and I reconciled after being separated for a year. We remained friends throughout the time we were separated, and neither of us could fathom re-marrying or having a serious relationship with someone while we were trying to raise our daughter. Too much drama, too much stress of trying to balance often-conflicting needs. He dated a few people casually, but I really couldn't bring myself to do it.
I think the caution I would give you, OP, is that most parents will put the needs of their child before the needs of a boyfriend/girlfriend, and rightly so. If you are "high maintenance," need to be the center of attention, or would be bothered if your boyfriend put his child needs before your own, you should think twice.0 -
I say a man raising his children shows a lot about his character. My husband was raising his 2 kids for 6 yrs on his own and his daughter is handicapped. I knew he was the one for me 0
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Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.
Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -
When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
The man I am talking to does haha, his ex is in rehab for meth.
RUN!!0 -
Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.
Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -
When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.
Well said, DD! :flowerforyou:0 -
No, I would not.
But that's because I don't like kids, and don't ever want kids of my own. So I wouldn't date anyone who has kids, or wants kids in the future.
To be fair, this is a very specific preference on my part. Most people I know have no problems dating people with children.0 -
I can't imagine anyone not loving my kids, for what it's worth. They make me a better man - so my prospective dates will reap the rewards of their influence upon my life (not so much that they have changed me, but learning to love them the way they need to be loved changed me). 0
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Absolutely.
I wouldn't date a guy who didn't have at least partial custody of his kids or had kids who didn't live with him at least part, if not all the time. And I especially won't date a guy who says "My ex is a ***** who won't let me see my kid." That's a BS excuse, and you're not doing your part to try and see your kid, and if she's legitimately trying to keep your child away from you, it's probably for a good reason.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
No & No.
I do not want kids, ever. I appreciate good dads and all, but I don't want to be your kids mom and I don't want to deal with your kids mom. Too much drama in most cases.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .
In most of society men / fathers are ALWAYS the problem. Women don't shut men down, emasculate them, deny them...Men "Cheat" on the woman. Women are strong powerful capable parents as singles. Men? The kids mom MUST Have been messed up.
Fathers - endangered species.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.
If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.
Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .
No she didn't. She just made it clear that she doesn't want to deal with a guy who has an ex that is a crazy psycho drama llama. I don't blame her.0 -
Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?
If I were to advise you, I'd say avoid it. You are soooo young and a Man with full custody of his kids is a guy who will probably (hopefully) put them first when push comes to shove. He won't be able to give you his full attention and he won't be able to go out on weeknights and probably not even on weekends with any regularity. He's going to spend a huge portion of his time either taking care of his children or taking care of his household (which is a mess because of his children) and his bills, and his job, etc. See. .when you are Married, you share these responsibilities, when you are divorced, they all fall to you. So if you are willing to play second-fiddle. . jump right in, and maybe help the guy out by cooking or doing some laundry! LOL.0 -
Absolutely.
I wouldn't date a guy who didn't have at least partial custody of his kids or had kids who didn't live with him at least part, if not all the time. And I especially won't date a guy who says "My ex is a ***** who won't let me see my kid." That's a BS excuse, and you're not doing your part to try and see your kid, and if she's legitimately trying to keep your child away from you, it's probably for a good reason.
I have watched my boyfriend fight tooth and nail for years to protect his four children from his ex-wife, and he has been bombarded with wildly fantastical false allegations from her. It deeply saddens me to see such brusque and uninformed sweeping generalizations of fathers. Is it truly so difficult to believe that some women are willing to use and manipulate children after a divorce?
Anyway...in response to the original question, yes, I would date someone with children. And I am.0 -
I wouldn't have any problems with dating a guy who has kids per se, it's just that I'm scared sh*tless of having to deal with small children. I'm always worried I would do something wrong and then they would start crying their lungs out.0
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