Dating and kids

itsuki

No, I would not.

But that's because I don't like kids, and don't ever want kids of my own. So I wouldn't date anyone who has kids, or wants kids in the future.

To be fair, this is a very specific preference on my part. Most people I know have no problems dating people with children.

DetroitDarin

I can't imagine anyone not loving my kids, for what it's worth. They make me a better man - so my prospective dates will reap the rewards of their influence upon my life (not so much that they have changed me, but learning to love them the way they need to be loved changed me).

gingerjen7

Absolutely.

I wouldn't date a guy who didn't have at least partial custody of his kids or had kids who didn't live with him at least part, if not all the time. And I especially won't date a guy who says "My ex is a ***** who won't let me see my kid." That's a BS excuse, and you're not doing your part to try and see your kid, and if she's legitimately trying to keep your child away from you, it's probably for a good reason.

LadyIvysMom

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

No & No.

I do not want kids, ever. I appreciate good dads and all, but I don't want to be your kids mom and I don't want to deal with your kids mom. Too much drama in most cases.

Cameron_1969

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

DetroitDarin

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

In most of society men / fathers are ALWAYS the problem. Women don't shut men down, emasculate them, deny them...Men "Cheat" on the woman. Women are strong powerful capable parents as singles. Men? The kids mom MUST Have been messed up.

Fathers - endangered species.

LadyIvysMom

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

No she didn't. She just made it clear that she doesn't want to deal with a guy who has an ex that is a crazy psycho drama llama. I don't blame her.

Cameron_1969

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

If I were to advise you, I'd say avoid it. You are soooo young and a Man with full custody of his kids is a guy who will probably (hopefully) put them first when push comes to shove. He won't be able to give you his full attention and he won't be able to go out on weeknights and probably not even on weekends with any regularity. He's going to spend a huge portion of his time either taking care of his children or taking care of his household (which is a mess because of his children) and his bills, and his job, etc. See. .when you are Married, you share these responsibilities, when you are divorced, they all fall to you. So if you are willing to play second-fiddle. . jump right in, and maybe help the guy out by cooking or doing some laundry! LOL.

Becoming_A_Butterfly

Absolutely.

I wouldn't date a guy who didn't have at least partial custody of his kids or had kids who didn't live with him at least part, if not all the time. And I especially won't date a guy who says "My ex is a ***** who won't let me see my kid." That's a BS excuse, and you're not doing your part to try and see your kid, and if she's legitimately trying to keep your child away from you, it's probably for a good reason.

I have watched my boyfriend fight tooth and nail for years to protect his four children from his ex-wife, and he has been bombarded with wildly fantastical false allegations from her. It deeply saddens me to see such brusque and uninformed sweeping generalizations of fathers. Is it truly so difficult to believe that some women are willing to use and manipulate children after a divorce?

Anyway...in response to the original question, yes, I would date someone with children. And I am.

Illona88

I wouldn't have any problems with dating a guy who has kids per se, it's just that I'm scared sh*tless of having to deal with small children. I'm always worried I would do something wrong and then they would start crying their lungs out.

nray3119

I am a single mom of 2 kids and I tend to date men with kids. We have something in common and they understand where I am coming from.
I just went though a divorce and my kids are number one to me. If someone does not understand that then they can look elsewhere for someone to date. Their dad has them every other weekend and that is when I choose to go out. A few weeks ago I had a friend that my boys and I have know for over a year start hanging out more and I really fell for him. I got attached to his kids and mine got attached to him. He decided he needed time to "work on himself" and my kids are devastated. I learned my lesson and now there will definitely be a time limit on how long I talk to someone before they are around my boys (friend or not).

126siany

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

Not what I actually said, but interesting reading of it.

Kerri_is_so_very

I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!

Well put!! Could not have said it any better

ggcat

My boyfriend has two girls, and we don't plan on having kids ourselves. I love his like they are my own!

DesignGuy

Probably like most, if there's no serious drama then why not. I have half custody and see my ex maybe 4 minutes a month with no issues. I feel sorry for those that have to experience a ton of crap after a breakup.

I guess you can over think anything. Everyone isn't the same. Go out, have fun and see where life takes you. This is not rocket science.

sonjarogers72

YEP! I see nothing wrong with it. My boyfriend has a 16 year old daughter- never has been an issue. Now my ex had 4- always an issue.....games, his weekend to keep them, parties, etc- seems like everyone has kids but me!- WHICH IS FINE

odusgolp

At your age? God no. And please... don't look to play mom... for everyone's sake.

At my age, absolutely.

126siany

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

No she didn't. She just made it clear that she doesn't want to deal with a guy who has an ex that is a crazy psycho drama llama. I don't blame her.

Thanks, yes, that's part of it. The crazy ex tends to like to target the new GF.

If the guy is still spending a great deal of time dealing with an unstable ex, he is not ready for any kind of real relationship. He's simply not available. Doesn't make him a bad guy, just makes him a guy who is not capable of dating in the way I'd like.

But some of these guys are drama queens. When they go from the ex who had the drinking problem to the ex who had a mood disorder and wouldn't stay on her medication to the ex who stole all his money, etc., they're drama-lovers.

Some men just have a nasty divorce or one relationship with an unstable woman, yes. But some of them make it a pattern.

Cameron_1969

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

Depends on why they have full custody and whether there is still active, encompassing drama with the ex-wife. Men don't usually get full custody; when they do, the wife is usually a total trainwreck. If the guy thrives on drama, I want no part of him. They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. Not my cup of tea.

If they have full custody for reasons other than an unstable ex, then I don't mind.

Haha. What a load! You just pigeonholed every guy who has an ex with issues as being a tool or having a drama addiction because he took control of the kids! . .

Not what I actually said, but interesting reading of it.

Maybe I oversimplified a bit. It was probably the line: "They all swear they don't like the drama--hate it, in fact--but they actually can't live without it. ". . But maybe by 'They all' you didn't mean all guys with damaged ex-wives, but all men who thrive on drama. . .

kit8806

I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!

^^This^^ I'm a single mom as well, and my ex is a pretty lousy father. A man who has full custody was given it for a reason (any parent who receives full custody really). But ultimately it comes down to how they treat their kids and how comfortable you feel about it. I would date a guy with kids also, as long as he raised them well.. and I can only hope I'll find a guy who will accept me with a child and treat her with respect as well!