Dating and kids

jboccio90

I have a kid, but i would actually prefer to not date someone without a kid.

I came from a blended family and it can be difficult.

fit4lifeUcan2

I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one.

This. Exactly. Well, I was a single mom. My husband accepted my daughter with no strongs attached. I dont know what it is like to date someone with kids because I never did but it wasnt because I was apposed, it was bc I never met anyone like that.

Is dating/marrying someone with kids easy- no. Its a whole other element to the relationship but it can be a really great one.

I was a single mom with a 1 year old when I met my now husband. We got married when my son was 2. If it was the other way around and he was the one with a child and taking care of him I would have loved him even more for being such a great dad to his son. Love a guy who makes his kids his whole world.

gingerjen7

Met my wife who had four children. Married her, and then adopted the kids. Didn't want a family with two last names. The kids accepted me as thier dad. The term "step-father" does not exist in their vocabulary. Their choice. I consider them my children as opposed to "her" children. It was a package deal, all or nothing as far as I was concerned. That was 36 years ago. Now I'm a grandfather of 9.

My dad did that too. Married my mom when she already had three children, adopted us, told us to call him dad. They eventually had one more, my youngest brother. Then when they divorced, my dad dropped us (except for his biological son) like hot potatoes. I haven't spoken to him in two years; he used to avoid my calls, or if he took the call, he'd make some excuse to get off the phone as quickly as possible. The only time he's ever affectionate is if we happen to be in the same room and he's drunk. He obviously only took us on so he could be with my mom, and then when she went nuts and started cheating with a 20-year-old (and a 17-year-old) he was done with us.

God, is it any wonder I don't do relationships? :laugh:

Erindipitous

I dated a guy for a few months who had a three year old. He didn't have full custody, but the "Baby Mama Drama" was enough for me to break it off. His ex was a real b*tch and excruciatingly immature.. Sending me threatening messages on Facebook, etc.

I really had a hard time trying to wrap my mind around the idea that he already had a child with someone else. I want children of my own, and I'd think, "If we got married and I got pregnant, it would be new to me and 'been there, done that' for him.."

Not eliminating this option from my life completely.. I guess if it was meant to be and I loved the guy enough, this stuff wouldn't matter.

Cameron_1969

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

This is not eharmony.

You're new here. . aren't you?

Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

Yep. . that's what I thought too. .

gingerjen7

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

This is not eharmony.

You're new here. . aren't you?

Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

Yep. . that's what I thought too. .

The OP is not looking for dates, she's just asking other people's opinions about whether or not they would date a person with children because she is considering dating someone who has full custody of his child. So far as I've seen, no one on this thread is trying to hook up with anyone else.

SoDamnHungry

Not at this point in my life. I couldn't handle the responsibility of having a kid yet. And I don't want it. I might date someone with adult children, but then he'd be a lot older than me...

odusgolp

Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.

Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -

When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.

Why do you feel the need to automatically put your children lower than your wife? I wouldn't want to date someone that even thought that way.

Marc713

Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

Let me direct you to the Fitness or Nutrition section of the forum. Most forums have a general or off topic area, that's where you are currently browsing. And there's nothing wrong even if the OP was trying to get a date.

SmexAppeal

Dating while having my kids is my only option as things progress. Thus, I would have no issues with my date having kids, too.

Here's what gets me though - after dating, and especially have marriage -

When I get married again, my wife will be the central person in my life - yes, above my children. My wife - as chosen to be my wife - will be my number one.

Why do you feel the need to automatically put your children lower than your wife? I wouldn't want to date someone that even thought that way.

Since I do not want to turn this into a religious debate... I won't even touch this question. That alone should probably answer it though, if the man who wrote it, wrote it for the reasons I'm believing he did. Did you get that? lol
I think its very awesome to see a man that came forth like this though. Just because he will put his wife first, doesn't mean he will love his children any less. It's all opinion though.

lesliev523

I wouldn't have any issue with it. But I have dated several men that had a hard time with the fact that I had kids. Eventually, after my kids are out of the house, I will have tons of time for a man and will be able to make them a priority in my life. But while my kids need me, they are my priority. Period. Their dad walked out of their life, and I am not going to do that. I would love to find a man that took interest in my kids as well..... but that might be asking for much.

SmexAppeal

Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

Let me direct you to the Fitness or Nutrition section of the forum. Most forums have a general or off topic area, that's where you are currently browsing. And there's nothing wrong even if the OP was trying to get a date.

Exactly what I was going to say. This is the "chit-chat, fun and games" section. Which you are apparently not here to have any fun. So buh bye :laugh:

Jtorres326

Nope, I don't want kids so that would be a deal breaker for me. As was said previously, even if I would consider it, one would have to question how unstable mom is to lose full custody given the bias in courts. Just a world of **** I wouldn't want to step in.

NeshBeMe

I have full custody of my kids and would be a hypocrite if I didn't accept the same. Sometimes I think I would prefer them to have full custody then there's no baby momma drama.

rvagnoni

I have and it makes things more difficult due to time constraints and availability.

MFPBrandy

I asked myself this when I decided to have a child on my own. It does make it harder, and right now, I'm not dating -- but it's so worth it for me. And honestly, at my age, any single man I meet is likely to be divorced with kids anyway.
Your profile says you're 22. To me, that's young. To me, dating someone with kids is a more serious endeavor than just casual dating -- if you're involved with the kids, you're INVOLVED. Are you ready for that at 22? Is the love you could have with that family worth the drama? If the answer is yes, then go for it.

Prahasaurus

I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.

This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

Very well said, sir.

--P

BeeElMarvin

Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all?

This is not eharmony.

You're new here. . aren't you?

Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

Oh Chuck, lighten up. This is the "Chit-chat, fun and games" section of the message boards. People do have lives oytside of simple weight loss.

MtnKat

My husband dated (and married) me and I had two kids from a previous marriage (I was a single mom with two girls ages 6 & 7 when I met my husband). We now also have two kids of our own (and mine are now adults and living on their own and starting their own families).

I was lucky and I wasn't looking. He just kind of came along and it happened....lol

know_your_worth

Never.