GIRLS! Question! Guys can

Dub_D

My advice.. just stop posting topics forever.

Whitezombiegirl

No sex? Lolwut. Yea I understand no sex 1st date or 1st couple etc but if you flat out told me never or not until married etc. NEXT

Might as well spend my free time playing bingo down at the retirement home.


Im not hating or your decision to abstain just sayin

Do you have any idea how much sex they have at the retirement home? It's like a co-ed college dorm except the people are old and the pills they pop are viagra and not ex

I've had a few people who work in returement homes tell me this. Yay for old age! (I want that to be me in when I'm 70!)

Becoming_A_Butterfly

Wait. I thought you were dating some guy with kids. So how are you overlooked? Maybe post some more cryptic threads and we can figure out your drama.

So the white knight with kids and an ex on meth was just a fairy tale?
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/743105-dating-and-kids

_JR_

My advice.. just stop posting topics forever.

:flowerforyou:

atjays

I don't think it's much of a stretch to agree that a healthy sex life is important in most relationships. With that said, if you tell me upfront that you don't enjoy it, don't do it or otherwise just don't care to, you're darn right you're going to get passed up.

I stopped talking to a girl recently who thinks sex is ONLY for creating children and otherwise is disgusting and useless, she wasn't even religious. Great girl, but that's a massive deal breaker.

ItsCasey

Any guy who says he CAN'T wait really just means he doesn't WANT to wait. It's not like his penis is going to fall off if he's not getting it regularly. If he's willing to walk away because you're not ready for sex, he wasn't going to stick around through any of the real problems anyway.

It needs to be said, however, that you have to be upfront about your expectations. Don't string a guy along, making him think he's getting close to sealing the deal, and then drop the bomb on him and get pissed when he heads for the exit.

But it is not selfish to not want to have sex with someone outside of a committed, monogamous relationship, and it doesn't matter what age you are. A 40-year-old who tells you he needs sex right away is just trying to scratch an itch, not trying to start a mature, adult relationship. They will tell you literally anything to get you in bed ... "but I really can see myself falling in love with you" ... "it's okay to wait when you're 18, but not when you're 40" ... "no guy is going to wait that long, and you'll end up an old cat lady" ... "how can I know if we're sexually compatible if you won't let me stick my penis in you?" It's a bunch of bull****. Do not let anyone make you feel like something is wrong with you because you don't want to give up your body to some guy for buying you dinner once or twice.

Ninjajenna

Since when did women become trashy and not have class because they like having sex and may not want to wait. Either side of the spectrum is fine in my book and you can change how you feel about it anytime you want. No need to judge. You will find someone who is okay with waiting to have sex, but yes, the older you get, the harder that will be. It's just a fact of life.

diadojikohei

the older you get, the harder that will be. It's just a fact of life.

Hur hur hur

Chapter3point6

the older you get, the harder that will be. It's just a fact of life.

Hur hur hur

sobriquet84

if a guy doesn't like you because you don't put out, then fck him.

I'm kind of getting mixed signals here.

haha!

sorry about that.

you totally just made me crack up.

Ninjajenna

Basically that?

ItsCasey

I stopped talking to a girl recently who thinks sex is ONLY for creating children and otherwise is disgusting and useless, she wasn't even religious. Great girl, but that's a massive deal breaker.

Agree this is over the top, and even if she was religious, the Bible very clearly contradicts the idea that sex is only for procreation.

But I do want to be clear that preferring to wait before becoming sexually involved with someone does not mean that the person in question doesn't enjoy sex. I consider myself a very sexual person. I also know that sex is not just a physical act for me and that there would absolutely be emotional repercussions to sleeping with a guy who then walks away. It's not about making him "earn" anything. It's about knowing and protecting myself. I am #1 on my list of priorities, and I am not sorry about it.

DPernet

Seriously, I waited like ages, (he wanted to) got engaged, got married, have to say compared to other boyfriends it's absolutely awful, always has been. But in the mean time we became really good friends, but I have to say I grit my teeth for the ''you know what'' and for the last 6 years we've not done it at all. I mean it was really awful, I felt like a prostitute, once it was over, he would roll over and go to sleep, no cuddling, nothing.

Test drive your man first, would be my advice.

6 years? LOL...you may not have done it in all that time, but he's almost certainly getting it elsewhere.

WTF?? Ladies be honest and open and tell him. Women are supposed to be great communicators, but you keep this quiet?Keeping quiet doesn't solve anything. Criticize, explain, teach.

Sit him down and say 'Honey I have a problem with your lovemaking. It's really not very good.'

Buy him the Joys of Sex for Xmas FFS

gingerjen7

I think it actually has more with the intent of both people. If you are dating with the intent to start a committed, monogamous relationship, then it’s ok to wait.

The last girl I had feelings for, we both wanted to take things slow and we did. We fooled around pretty heavy, and even got naked, there just wasn’t any home runs. The self-control added to a lot of the attraction in my opinion. For me, I’m looking for that type of relationship and don’t mind waiting…for a while. That’s not to say I would be up for waiting for marriage…but I would definitely be up for waiting until we can both honestly look one another in the eyes and tell each other we love each other and mean it whole-heartedly. I’ve had my wild crazy fun, and I’m glad to have made it thru them and still be disease free….I’m actually at the point now where I’d rather wait, get to know someone, and ask them to share blood test results…because when you know your partner is clean, you can really get freaky and have some awesome peace of mind. Because guess what folks, it’s not like when you go fishing, you can’t just throw it back once you catch it!

Now, on the flip side, both men and women date with no intention of having a commitment, so they are the ones that likely want to hop in the sack soon.

Just remember, eating and exercise isn't the only health you folks need to look out for....be safe in the sack too!

What this guy said.

I don't complain about getting passed up by guys because I won't sleep with them because we're not right for one another. I don't want to be with those guys any more than they want to be with me. If we're after two different things, there's no point in him trying to get me into bed and there's no point in me trying to get him to make a commitment. Done. Move on. Find someone who is looking for the same thing.

And I know it's very funny to people, the whole blood test thing, but I am fully prepared to take any one that I'm going to have sex with down to the clinic, get STD tested, and talk about "family planning" and what is right for the two of us. I think it's the responsible thing to do. I don't want to get an STD and I certainly don't want to get pregnant, so I'm not taking any chances.

bunchesonothing

Any guy who says he CAN'T wait really just means he doesn't WANT to wait. It's not like his penis is going to fall off if he's not getting it regularly. If he's willing to walk away because you're not ready for sex, he wasn't going to stick around through any of the real problems anyway.

Just not true.

I'm not saying that people aren't players, but...

A man is just as entitled to deciding what he wants out of his relationships as a woman is. He can decide just how important it is and what some of his priorities are. Perhaps one of his priorities is that he and a woman he is with are on the same page sexually. This is an important thing for a relationship. Sexual health is also one of those things that CAN be tied to a sense of personal well-being. No one has a right to force someone into a situation that makes them unhappy or unsatisfied because they think they're just so awesome. So, people with specific needs/wants ought to seek out people that have similar ones or someone that they think are worth working these issues out for. At the beginning of these relationships, honestly, do we know who these people are, really? Upon first glance? Or first discussion? Probably not, in most cases.

wolfpack77

Just a question.. So if you're going to restrict some aspect of a relationship that is clearly important to the majority of potential partners, what important traits are you willing to go without? Would you give up security? Emotional support? Hugs and kisses? Monogamy?

What if a guy decided he was going to restrict one of those, or some other aspect that was important to you in a life partner - simply for the reasons of "proving your willing"? Would this be acceptable to you?

I didn't think so.

Men are sexual creatures. Its important to us and to our relationships. And women have their requirements too. They want a good man who can provide security, emotional support, and be good partners and fathers to their children, etc. Anybody who is going to make a such a demand from their partner better be prepared to make some sacrifices themselves. Stop with the hypocrisy. If you love somebody you want to make them happy. You don't make them "prove themselves" by denying something that is clearly important to them, while demanding everything you need from them at the same time.

I hate to say it but you deserve to get passed up, and its not about what you're asking. Its the grounds upon which you are asking it. Have fun being single.

Moofey2

Wait. I thought you were dating some guy with kids. So how are you overlooked? Maybe post some more cryptic threads and we can figure out your drama.

I said I was just talking with one and he kind of wanted to over look me because of it.

ElleBee615

These are great threads to find out who is willing to put out.

^LMAO!!!!

rm830

I'd be okay with that 20 years ago. Now I'm pushing 40 and don't have time to wait around to see if the woman would like making-the-sexy with me.

If things fit (no pun intended) just let things go as fast as they go (no pun intended). None of this "I'm saving myself' stuff...great in highschool. Not good at this stage.

LOL but yeah, ^^this.

jaciofthedead

Sorry to hear that you get overlooked because of that. I say good for you - stick to your convictions!

^^ AGREED!