Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

Find a way to make healthy foods taste good. Period. Let them throw tantrums but don't cave. Also, try to make GRADUAL changes. Have at least 1 familiar food as part of a meal and be patient.

tjk71

I am trying to eat clean....my husband and kids are not the cleanest eaters. So what I have been doing is making clean meals out of what they are used to eating ex: taco salads, pizza, homemade chicken nuggets/ baked french fries. I have been talking to my kids about how we need to eat healthy foods and not foods from boxes. Its a slow process but its working. They ask for fruits & veggies or snacks. If they want sweets we make healthy protein cookies. A great book to read is Tosca Reno Clean eating for the family & kids. It has a lot of good recipes.

daisiemae123

This sounds just like my sister's household. Her pediatrician actually had her take her boys to a nutritionist for ideas on getting them to eat better and not be quite so picky. One of the best suggestions she got was to try to make things they liked healthier, but to also do it in stages. Her example was make tacos (her boys love tacos) but use lean ground turkey for a change leave everything else the same. Next time use the turkey and whole wheat tortillas instead of white flour ones. Next try topping with a veggie,etc. Doing it in stages instead of all at once has cut down on the dinnertime drama and fights over going to bed hungry.

ArizonaKitten

I would never force my kids to eat anything they didnt want. I was forced to eat until my plate was empty and I hated that growing up. I am lucky that my boys arent picky eaters and eat what I feed them, veggies and all!

Nina2503

My OH hates bananas and will never ever eat one, he isnt fond of fruit at all and doesnt eat that either, yet he eats vegetables with no problem. Perhaps its easier to slowly change childrens diet than force through a huge change at once, and also bear in mind that just like adults there will be food that they 'really really dont like' and no amount of persuastion will change their mind!

It may help if they are old enough to let them get involved in the preparation and cooking of these 'new foods to try and make it more fun for them.

BeckySBowen

My middle son (10) is a picky eater. I fix one meal. If he does not like it, he is welcome to fix something on his own...that I approve, of course. My other two kids will eat anything. I was terribly picky as a kid and I recall sitting at the table for hours, gagging.

bltrexler

How about involving the kids with cooking the meals. I find if my daughter helps with the food prep she is more inclined to eat/try it.

iowachick

The standard response to complaints about a meal is "This is what's for dinner. Eat it or don't." Over time my kids have become less picky. If we are having a meal that is particularly spicy or otherwise not kid friendly I will serve something else for the kids. I don't believe anyone should be forced to eat food they don't want. I do think it is my responsibility, as a parent, to give my children good healthy food and encourage them to eat it. Treats and other foods are available only after they eat the meal that has been offered.

CyberEd312

I'm not a short order cook.... There's a good quality healthy meal on the table, if you don't wanna eat it well there will be breakfast on the table in the morning...... :drinker:

rsellersCST

Oh kids can be a challenge... but I got to go with what my husband always says... he's yet to see a child that was offered food literally starve to death.

Thankfully my kids are "generally" easy to feed... but there have been challenges. When I met my husband we both had kids... took a bit for his to get used to me and how I make things maybe different than they were used to...

Then there's been the changes we've made to get healthy!

I stopped buying soda, crap foods etc... and yes... they were ALL very used to having junk food... more of whatever they wanted etc.

BUT... now it's, "So, this is what we are having for dinner..."

They don't get the option to have something else... the only times I've offered that in the past is for example... my oldest daughter couldn't STAND sauces for the longest time... and if I made beef stew she HATED it and it wasn't for lack of trying it etc... so yes I would let her make a sandwich if I planned ahead to make it... but not like... hey you get pizza while the other kids get this... NO! LOL

Now though... what we eat is what we eat and the kids are OVER IT... and eat just fine. The rule is that you need to eat your dinner if you want a snack later... and I'm not talking some high fat snack... I'm talking a reasonable treat, or even healthy snack...

They've all managed to get with it. No one has starved... they are well fed. :-)

Kids whine and complain and eventually they get with it IF you are consistent... and that goes for anything... if they whine and get away with it once... next time even if you stick it out LONGER they will whine twice as long. FOOT DOWN... and never lifted... they WILL figure it out.

There was a LOT of whining and complaining when I stopped buying soda... now they readily say, "I want water!" or "I want milk" because they know what the options are now... and life is moving on. If they see that it gets to you... they will keep at it... it's not easy, but you can do it.

We've also had a LOT of discussions in our house about being BORED and not actually hungry. Sometimes that helps too... to talk it out. Find something to do and if you are STILL just so hungry in 30 minutes... an apple, or banana, or string cheese or something... but one snack between meals... and a healthy one at that. You won't die :-)

Stay strong... you can do it... they won't starve.

abigailmariecs

Some of choice two. I have an uber picky eater and we will sit for 1.5 hrs at the dinner table and if she still refuses to eat then the food gets plastic wrapped and refridgerated for 2 hrs then the attempt is made again. If she will not eat this then it goes back in the fridge and is served for every meal until she eats it. We have never had to go more then 1 meal. Most of the time when she will not eat she is just not hungry and ends up eating it a couple of hours later. Right now I can afford the time put into this as I am a stay at home mom.

Our plate for her has 4 small bites of everything we are eating. Once she clears her plate (while we focus on her cleaning her plate the first time around it is more about a balanced diet then "cleaning your plate")

sarahharmintx

I started to say this then changed my response

I'm not a short order cook....

I also think this is perfect:

Find a way to make healthy foods taste good. Period. Let them throw tantrums but don't cave. Also, try to make GRADUAL changes. Have at least 1 familiar food as part of a meal and be patient.

beachlover317

I taught parenting classes for 11 years. The best way to raise a healthy eater is 1) model the behavior you want to see in your children; 2) Provide 3 healthy meals and a couple of snacks every day. Never force them to eat - I'm sure by now you've learned that power struggles are useless! But, the main thing to do - be the parent. You are the only parent your children will have. If you don't teach them the important things in life - who will? Their peers? Yikes! If they know that you are not going to cave and give them what they want, they will learn that your word is good. A very good thing that carries over to every other aspect of your parenting. You got this!

BAMFMeredith

In our house, I cook a healthy dinner for everyone. I don't make things that I know my child absolutely does not like, but I do encourage him to try new things. If there is something new we are having for dinner and he truly doesn't like it (after tasting a few bites), I usually have some kind of back up plan (I keep those frozen veggies that steam in the bag on standby, and he likes broccoli). Otherwise, if he is just being picky, or refusing to try something, or randomly decides he doesn't like something (even though he's eaten it before), he has the choice to eat his dinner or to not eat dinner and go to bed. I don't think child services is going to rush to my house because my son refused to eat the nutritious meal I prepared for him.

I'm realistic, I'm not going to force feed my child something he simply doesn't like. I remember being a kid and refusing, at all times, to eat squash. My mom stopped trying to make me eat it because I would choose hunger over eating squash---I didn't starve, I survived, no big deal.

hsmaldo

Neither.

You enforce the rule that they have to take 3-5 bites (chewing, tasting and swallowing) before they can decide if they wish to eat it. Avoid terms like 'gross, disgusting, etc'. what they may 'hate' today, they may like tomorrow. Depending on the ages, try to have them tell you what it is that is not appetizing with each thing? Taste, texture? That makes them actually have to stop and think about it. You could even try this with foods they like so they have a gauge of where to begin.

BUT try fixing at least one thing each meal that is familiar and accepted to them so they can participate in the meal. I know there are different methods for picky eaters which include introducing similar food items. For instance moving gradually from chicken nuggets to baked/breaded chicken tenderloins to grilled chicken breast. You can try doing some researching into that.

Overall you want to have everyone on board with the healthier changes and agai, depending on ages, as a previous poster suggested, get them involved in food prep and meal planning.

Wonderwoman2677

Please for the love of God don't force your kids to eat!

1) You are encouraging them to have a bad relationship with you and food.

2) They need food to be alert and active learners, and I'm assuming (as a parent) you expect that too.

3) You are telling them that what they want doesn't matter.

I also am trying to change mine, and my kids relationship with food. Here's my rule: You eat what I made or you make yourself a healthy snack that they make themselves (13 and 9yo). Nobody starves and everybody's happy. At times I'll make a healthier meat with a unhealthier side dish. They have to eat they're protein first then have a healthy portion of the side dish. Also, getting them involved in the meal choices can help. Or, give small portions of new foods with the "regular" food and have them try it. If they like the new stuff, great. If not, let them eat something else. I know kids will see this pattern, but depending on how old they are you can explain why your eating habits need to change. Everything has it's place with moderation.

Changing your eating habits takes time. Kids will fight back, it's in their natures, because that's what they're supposed to do. It's unfair for you to expect them to change overnight just because you changed your mind about what's acceptable. It's great to introduce new foods. It's great that you want to get healthy and have healthy kids. Give them time to adjust. The fewer ripples the better.

My parents made me clean my plate. As a result I need to lose almost 100 lbs because it's so hard to stop eating when I'm not hungry anymore.

jporte

When I was a child, my brother and I were forced to eat everything on our plates whether it was good for us or not and it was huge portions. Now mother and brother are both extremely overweight and diabetic.
I will never force my children to eat what they don't want to eat or everything on their plates. I do try to serve them foods that they like and that are good for them and if they don't want it (I don't always want what my husband is eating) then they can have something else that's fairly healthy.
I do have one kid that only wants junk food and I am having a hard time with that but we are limiting the junk. My other 2 kids will pretty much each all veggies and all 3 eat fruits so that's not a problem.


I also know of an individual whose parents would not let them have junk at all when they were a child and when they left home all they ate was junk food.

jzammetti

I aways keep things like yogurt or peanut butter available so if the kid doesn't want what I cook, he is free to eat something else he prepares for himself. lately he has been cooking egs when he does not like my dinner (which is perfectly ok with me).

However, he will sometimes get sneaky and wait until me and dad go to bed then raid the pantry - so we lock it now. Everything he has access to in the middle of the night is healthy and if that is when he wants to eat, then so be it.

Aquarian

I make healthy and tasty food. To get my son to eat vegetables and rice, I would add in butter if he likes that. Eventually the butter goes away and the veggies stay. Or, make food in shapes that he loves - like mickey mouse outline, for instance. It isn't that hard, and kids only need a vague semblance! Or, make them colorful by adding strawberry essence or something, for a change. I don't let my kid go hungry. I have to force myself to eat right at my age, so I doubt the kid will do the right thing if left to his choices. So, even if at times I have to make two different kinds of dinner, I would rather do that and make sure my son eats well.

rugbyphreak

my parents used to make me sit at the table for hours until i tried a bite of the new food. the second time that food was served, and every time after that, it was my decision to eat it or not. let me tell you, when you're hungry, you'll eat those veggies and learn to love them.