Online relationships

Eddie274
Eddie274 Posts: 156
in Chit-Chat
I've been single for so many years and haven't really had any confidence to ask someone out. Recently I found someone on here who lit up my world, and we fell so in love. She's in the USA and I'm in the UK. We talked every day for up to 4 hours! Although we knew it was unlikely we'd ever meet it was great. Now it looks like it's going to end as she wants more than I can give her, as I can't move to the US and she can't move over here. Do people think that online/phone relationships can work?
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Replies

  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    I personally don't believe that online/phone relationships would ever work. I would want to see the person I was in the relationship with.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I'm proof it CAN work. I've been seeing my fiance for three years nearly. We met online. Constant contact(ask my friends) I'm very happy. Now, I don't get to see him as often as I'd like....

    But truthfully, if you love somebody enough a few sacrifices are worth it.

    I WOULD indeed make sure to get a clear idea of who can/will move or not move before you get too serious into things. It's silly to get into something knowing that situation will NEVER change.
  • LAWoman79
    LAWoman79 Posts: 348 Member
    If you can afford to travel once in awhile, then I do not see why it is not possible.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Yeah, you really need to set forth the "Who will relocate" expectation before you get that serious. Or it really sucks. I've been there.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    I had a few problems in my late teens and the result of those is that I won't get a visa.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    WE thought she would move over here, but the wrench of leaving her kids in the US, no matter what the age is too much for her to take
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    WE thought she would move over here, but the wrench of leaving her kids in the US, no matter what the age is too much for her to take

    Oh, yeah, that'd be really really tough:(
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    i definitely believe there's a difference between online relationships and online/long distance. you can meet online, sure, but you have to be able to actually meet in person and feel the chemistry in person. and to make it last, both parties have to want to make it work. you can't sustain an online relationship without meeting, and you can't sustain a long distance relationship for years on end without knowing if there's an end-date to reunite...just my $.02, having been in an online/long distance relationship, with very few in person visits, every day calls, but just not enough...and not much of a spark either.
  • sarah3333
    sarah3333 Posts: 222 Member
    I had a long distance relationship for over a year, I moved across the country to be with him. I did it with no doubts and i couldn't be happier. When you know you know. Good luck to you both! :)
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
    I had a few problems in my late teens and the result of those is that I won't get a visa.

    If you were a juvenile when you had the problems, and they don't involve drug charges or murder, you possibly can get a visa.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    It depends on the person. For me it can never work because I'm a very sexual, touchy-feely person.

    I think it means someone must sacrifice. In the long run, one person would have to leave their home country so that the relationship can work, it can't be offline forever.

    I know people who had this work very well for them and others who didn't, it depends on the couple involved.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
    If you're serious, speak to an immigration lawyer.

    When you say spoke to the embassy, do you mean in person, or the premium rate phone line? I'm assuming the phone line, which is notorious for giving poor information.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Yeah, you really need to set forth the "Who will relocate" expectation before you get that serious. Or it really sucks. I've been there.

    Bish please... you should have moved and we'd be happy. HAPPY!
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    yep it was the phone line, and I was on hold for 20 minutes! Will look for a lawyer, cheers. There is nothing I wouldn't do to be with her.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Yeah, you really need to set forth the "Who will relocate" expectation before you get that serious. Or it really sucks. I've been there.

    Bish please... you should have moved and we'd be happy. HAPPY!

    We've had this conversation. I have my requirements to your anatomy.
  • SPBROOKS68
    SPBROOKS68 Posts: 561 Member
    NO
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Have you even met in person?
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    I was in the exact same situation as you. I was in the USA, him in the UK.


    I now live with him in the UK. I am studying Architecture here while he does his phd. We recently bought a home. It can work. It is so worth it :flowerforyou:
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    It worked for me. Go for it!
  • brighteyesxluv
    brighteyesxluv Posts: 334 Member
    3 years :) strong.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    Would she be willing to visit? Have you met in real life?
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
    yep it was the phone line, and I was on hold for 20 minutes! Will look for a lawyer, cheers. There is nothing I wouldn't do to be with her.

    Before spending big bucks on a lawyer, if you have not discovered it before, have a look at britishexpats.com specifically the USA forum.
    Loads and loads of good advice in the wikis, loads of knowledgeable people on the forum, and if it comes to a lawyer, people there may recommend lawyers they have used.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    they can work if both parties can make it work

    simple/difficult as that

    i've been in a few, and ultimately they've broken down for one reason or another.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    No we've never met. We both agree that we would make the perfect couple, but you never know until you meet. It's just heartbreaking when it doesn't work out.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I don't think that it will work, with that distance and with children involved, especially if you can't travel. Real, relationships are not just talking, there's the physical intimacy and the physically being there when the other person needs you. You two don't have much to offer each other in reality, you can't help out with the kids or the house, you can't sit with her in the evenings or lie with her in the nighttime, you have no social life together etc...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,641 Member
    Have you talked to her on skype? or just on the phone?
  • gr8grl68
    gr8grl68 Posts: 417 Member
    They do work--I married my husband almost 6 years ago after meeting him online and doing the long-distance relationship for 1.5 years. However, if there's no way for you to meet in person, then I don't see how it can work--sorry. I had been interested in and had great conversations with other men before I met my husband, but once we met in person--ummmmm--NO. So the in-person thing is CRUCIAL.

    Good luck!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Why can't one of you simply take a two week vacation? It seems like before you spend at least some real time together, the discussion of moving to another country is... well... moot. But that's just my two cents.

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