Online relationships

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124

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  • jerbear67
    jerbear67 Posts: 247 Member
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    If neither person can or will move, I don't see the point. Calls and online communication and visits can sustain you for a long time, but I personally desire more out of a relationship than that.

    If you don't, then do what you want. I think you're both selling yourselves short, though.

    ^^^^This - It sound to me like you are unable to move because of your past and she is not willing to move because of her children. I say before you both get to vested into the relationship you part ways as friends.

    I believe in online relationships whole heartedly. I have actually met an outstanding guy on here a few weeks ago. The difference is we are 12 hours apart by car or 4 hours by plane (dang layovers). We talk and text daily and have spent time Skyeing. Additionally we have both agreed that we are both willing to relocate and have plans on meeting in the next couple of weeks. That is only because of my work schedule.
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
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    Nothing to see here!
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I've met someone here too... He's in the continental USA and I'm in Hawaii... we talk every night. For me it would be 10pm and for him its like 3 in the morning! We're meeting in December! :D And yes, we're planning to get married soon!!!! :)

    You've never met him and yet you're planning to get married soon????????????????????????????/ :indifferent:

    Yeah ^^^^^^^ what the?? :noway:

    I guess you just have to see if it works for you & this lady. Everyone will have different experiences/views etc. Good luck with it & I hope it all works out :drinker:
  • lundii
    lundii Posts: 151 Member
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    I had an online relationship... we met in a MMORPG. After some months we met in personality and it clicked.
    But it was impossible to live together. None of us could move.
    So we had a long distance relationship for the last five years. We met every six weeks.
    And honestly, that wasn't enough. Or perhaps our love wasn't strong enough... who knows...
    He met a girl, living close to him, and abruptly he broke up with me.
    And I know for sure... my next relationship will be with someone who lives very close to me. VERY close.

    (Or with someone, who loves me that much and whom I love so much, that the distance doesn't matter... you never know... ;) )

    But in your case... just chatting... no skype, no phone, not met in personality, no moving option... I would say: enjoy it, but I don't think that there is any real future for you.
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
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    I am a woman who loves a mental connection and my lack of confidence since weight loss would easily be resolved by him not physically seeing me, but of course I desire to see him physically too.

    Where there is a will, there is a way. If someone means enough to you, distance wont matter. We love someone for their mind, personality, soul.... The rest is a bonus.
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    LOL @ terrorist remark. Anyways buddy, I bet you're seriously regretting that conviction now huh? I met a girl online from San Diego, when I lived in the Bay Area. Eventually I moved down to LA for school and to be closer to her. Together 3 years, then split. Do I feel stupid? You bet I do. But I wouldn't say I totally regretted it. Eat local, eat fresh. That's all I can say. Forget her and move on.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    They can only work if someone is willing to relocate. If both partners are determined to remain where they are it's clearly not going to work out. Unless you want a platonic relationship?
  • Tracepa98
    Tracepa98 Posts: 219
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    Never say never.

    My aunt's friend who lives out west in the US met someone online who was from the UK. They talked and talked and talked. He flew over here to visit, she flew over there and I believe they will be getting married sometime soon after he retires from the force. He's a London police officer.




    Check out your options and go from there. Wish you the best! :smile:
  • AmericanCowboy76
    AmericanCowboy76 Posts: 99 Member
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    I've been single for so many years and haven't really had any confidence to ask someone out. Recently I found someone on here who lit up my world, and we fell so in love. She's in the USA and I'm in the UK. We talked every day for up to 4 hours! Although we knew it was unlikely we'd ever meet it was great. Now it looks like it's going to end as she wants more than I can give her, as I can't move to the US and she can't move over here. Do people think that online/phone relationships can work?

    I do believe you can fall in love with someone for who they are personality wise, and that is what we should fall for.The physical is fleeting. But for me.... I couldn't stay in a relationship if I knew they was no chance of meeting and eventually marrying. A phone is cold and hard. Couples need to touch, hold eachother, see the laughter, love, lust, sillyness in eachothers eyes. Nothign can replace a soft kiss, or holding hands. I say this not to hurt you, but because you deserve a chance for a physical connection.I am not talking about sex (though in a loving committed relationship that is a beautiful thing) but the physical bonding of the everyday that we need with the one He has chosen us to be with.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
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    It depends on what sort of relationship you want. I met my partner on Facebook and we've been together for almost 5 years. I've made a large number of friends online, some I've met, some I haven't, and some I never will, but I care about them just as much as I do my 'real life' friends. I couldn't manage a romantic relationship purely online and with phone calls though.
  • missprincessgina
    missprincessgina Posts: 446 Member
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    I know a couple in the same situation. Get an immigration attorney, a good reputable one. They are both in the US now. Took a long time and US immigration requires proof that you've met and dated "in person" for some time. Save emails, photos, everything from now on if you are serious about moving to the US.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
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    It depends on the type of online relationship. Unfortunately, the type you were in I do not believe it could every work. it is simply too unrealistic. You live on different continents. And not for nothing, you dont really know a person until you get to spend physical time with them. And by physical, I do not mean sexual, I mean time getting to actual interact and experience things together.

    As far as meeting someone online then meeting them in person at some point and continuing from there, yes, I do believe those can work. I met my boyfriend on Match.com. We talked through email for 2 weeks, then spoke on the phone for 3 weeks, then we went on our first date. We have been together for almost 3 years now. My friend met his boyfriend online and they were together 6 years.

    Never seeing each other in person, not truly being part of each others lives, even if one of you relocates for the other, is a big risk, and, personally, something I dont see working.

    If you are going to meet online, try to make it more attainable by actually living in commuting distance from each other. Otherwise there is just this fantasy built up around a person you have never met.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    Why can't you move to the U.S. or why can't she move to the U.K?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,100 Member
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    Let me see if I've got this straight.

    OP, you've been on MFP for about three months. In that time you fell in "love" with someone on a different continent and neither of you are able to move.

    Wait, what?

    Let it go. There are plenty of women in your part of the world. Surely you can find one with whom it would work.

    Sounds like some serious intimacy issues from one or both of you. You don't actively pursue a "relationship" with someone you will never live near. . . that's just . . . I have no words.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    So... you're asking if a PERMANENTLY online relationship can work where you NEVER see each other? No... absolutely not. That's fairy tale land and is not even remotely close to real.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    They work great. I can't knock her up and she doesn't have to wash my underwear
  • tismyhardbody
    tismyhardbody Posts: 100 Member
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    if i can't EVER bang you than hells no
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    Anything can happen and difficult situations can work. But...I think the key to a long distance relationship involves someone (or both) people moving at some point.

    If you can't ever move to be close to one another, that sounds like a pretty big deal breaker.

    If there's a possibility, then great. Go for it. But please, please meet each other first. Skipping that step is nothing but pure folly.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    They work great. I can't knock her up and she doesn't have to wash my underwear

    You can always mail your laundry to her.
  • BFarnsworth
    BFarnsworth Posts: 210 Member
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    Do what feels right and don't sweat the folk that nay say it. Its your life and everyone deserves a shot at happiness. Be bold and dont't regret anything.

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