Online relationships

24

Replies

  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    Were they violent crimes or with weapons or something? They don't want people with violent criminal pasts...
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    No we've never met. We both agree that we would make the perfect couple, but you never know until you meet. It's just heartbreaking when it doesn't work out.

    Why not spend some time without the stress of it HAVING to work? Just a simple visit.

    I know that if I spent all the time and money and effort that you're willing to spend, I know i would like a little more security than "We both think we're a perfect couple". I don't mean to be the raincloud on your love parade but yikes.
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
    I know for a fact that they CAN work.

    My best friend met his wife online in a chat room. Neither were out there looking for a relationship but that's how they met. She lived in British Columbia and at the time he was station in Ft Bragg. They have now been married for 10 years.
  • embersfallen
    embersfallen Posts: 534 Member
    It's very very hard. One I was just in ended last night with a definate air of finality....we had talked for 3.5 years....and met in person only a few times...... I thought this was my soulmate...but now he is with someone that was in the background and lived closer a lot of that time. I am in the US, he is Canada....I think they CAN work..but both people need to be walking in integrity, and willing to trully work at it. Distance is NOT an impossible thing.... You can find out a lot about people over phone, talking and skype...but there are definate barriers with such long distance. Someone will need to be willing to move to take that next step.
  • I think it works until you want to move the relationship to the next level. Then you have a big decision to make. And if you can't make it, well...
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    If neither person can or will move, I don't see the point. Calls and online communication and visits can sustain you for a long time, but I personally desire more out of a relationship than that.

    If you don't, then do what you want. I think you're both selling yourselves short, though.
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    Were they violent crimes or with weapons or something? They don't want people with violent criminal pasts...

    Not being rude, but have either of you guys ever had to deal with immigration?

    Even for a case that's clear cut it is a huge pain in the backside, and setting you back at least $1000, as soon as any complicating factors come into the mix, it becomes a whole barrel of fun!
  • My conviction was for violence. Far from my proudest moment, and have not repeated my mistake in the next 20 years, but as you say they don't like violent/sexual/drug/terrorist pasts, which I can understand to be honest. I do think 20 years with no more violence should count for something though.

    We have tried to skype but never actually managed it, with the time difference and her work load etc. Not through lack of trying though. Not being online at home doesn't help me either.
  • xSCiNTILLATEx79
    xSCiNTILLATEx79 Posts: 245 Member
    I'm proof they can work too...3 years LDR with wonderful visits...He had never been in a online relationship and did not like the idea of it - we met through xbox gaming. He was sceptical and weary of it, but eventually he just couldnt resist anymore :love: He just left everything in CA and moved to me in Oregon 3 months ago and we couldnt be happier! :heart:

    Before that I was engaged to someone I met online we were together for 8 years and engaged, it didnt work out but I also dont consider it a complete fail - I learned alot and he was a great guy!

    I actually think you get to know the important parts of a person first that way...I loved his personality before I ever knew what he looked like because we played video games together and vise versa. Then we began talking more seriously and decided to see what each other looked like - we were pleased :)

    This one for you may not be "the one" but they definately can work. I never actually went out to an online dating service and met either of these men the first one, was just kind of an online community like MFP talking in forums and chat rooms the other we met randomly in a game lobby... I know successful ones and unsuccesful ones, guess it just depends on your path...good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Getting a Visa is no easy task... Just another odd thought, but did you look into getting a Visa to Canada just to perhaps be closer and see if you can travel back and forth and establish a real life relationship?

    Canada can be easier, I believe...
  • eevntually you do NEED more. what's a relationship without touch and affection? It's a constant void. I think you should keep at it....visit her, make it work if she's the one!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Debbie Downer here: If you can't even manage to skype, you're screwed.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    Were they violent crimes or with weapons or something? They don't want people with violent criminal pasts...

    Not being rude, but have either of you guys ever had to deal with immigration?

    Even for a case that's clear cut it is a huge pain in the backside, and setting you back at least $1000, as soon as any complicating factors come into the mix, it becomes a whole barrel of fun!

    Obviously, I have never left the country or had anyone come in. That is why I asked.
  • I met my husband on AOL Instant Messanger. We have been together for 11 years now.
  • @carriempls

    Thanks for that. I'm thinking if I "met" someone who's at least in Europe, if not England, then we can start off getting to know each other online and the phone before meeting. that way the distance isn't a problem.
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
    Honestly, it would be very hard. I did the long distance thing before and kinda doing it now with the same man. It's hard and lonely. But i at least get to see him and spend time with him at least once a week. The first time i saw him about every few mths. But to sum it up. It's going to be hard!
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
    My conviction was for violence. Far from my proudest moment, and have not repeated my mistake in the next 20 years, but as you say they don't like violent/sexual/drug/terrorist pasts, which I can understand to be honest. I do think 20 years with no more violence should count for something though.

    We have tried to skype but never actually managed it, with the time difference and her work load etc. Not through lack of trying though. Not being online at home doesn't help me either.

    If you just want to visit first, then it may be even simpler. You may be able to use the visa waiver program, people commonly think that if you have been arrested you cannot, but it actually is whether you were arrested for a crime involving moral turpitude.

    Now there is no official definition of moral turpitude, so you will have to do some research here, and read the ESTA guidance notes but depending on the actual charge you received, you may actually be able to honestly answer no to that question.

    Again the premium rate (dis)information line (as it is commonly known by) does not tell you this, and often makes the situation worse by encouraging people to apply for visas, which then get denied and cause ESTA to get denied because of the visa denial!
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,641 Member
    I don't understand how you can fall in love with someone just over the phone. I need to see the person, their expressions, they way they look at me, his eyes, smile, the way he carries himself while talking to me, etc. The phone alone wouldn't do it for me at all. Happy that it has for you but I know it wouldn't work for me.
  • I've met someone here too... He's in the continental USA and I'm in Hawaii... we talk every night. For me it would be 10pm and for him its like 3 in the morning! We're meeting in December! :D And yes, we're planning to get married soon!!!! :)
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member


    Obviously, I have never left the country or had anyone come in. That is why I asked.

    You're missing all the fun!
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    @carriempls

    Thanks for that. I'm thinking if I "met" someone who's at least in Europe, if not England, then we can start off getting to know each other online and the phone before meeting. that way the distance isn't a problem.

    Exactly! This is not just a 'long-distance' thing or even an 'online' thing...you're on another continent and you can't leave! Also if you have never met, never even Skyped then, and I know this may sound harsh but it's not really real love...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member


    Obviously, I have never left the country or had anyone come in. That is why I asked.

    You're missing all the fun!

    I'm just not well-travelled. Some day I plan to take a trip out of the country.
  • Tiff1124
    Tiff1124 Posts: 261 Member
    I met my husband online.

    Although, now we are divorced.

    :ohwell:
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member


    I'm just not well-travelled. Some day I plan to take a trip out of the country.

    Good stuff, seeing the world is fun, and learning about other cultures can be an eye opener.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I've met someone here too... He's in the continental USA and I'm in Hawaii... we talk every night. For me it would be 10pm and for him its like 3 in the morning! We're meeting in December! :D And yes, we're planning to get married soon!!!! :)

    You've never met him and yet you're planning to get married soon????????????????????????????/ :indifferent:
  • Serenstar75
    Serenstar75 Posts: 258 Member
    They -can- work if both people make it work and make it a priority. I saw someone for over 2.5 years long distance before I'd even physically met him in person. It was great in person (I thought) and then he moved to be with me and we got married. We've known each other for over 10 years or more. The problem is, he thought online was an awesome way to meet OTHER people too and ended our marriage for someone else. I'm much happier now with someone I met in person first, but I still wouldn't place the distrust on having met online. Online is just another way to meet people. It's what people DO with that that matters, the same as any other relationship.
  • JacquelineD35
    JacquelineD35 Posts: 279 Member
    Maybe she should fly out to the UK so you all could meet in person. I had an online relationship with a guy for over a year before we met, online it was cool but in person it was a different story we just didnt click. Maybe she would consider on flying out to you for just a few days and see where it goes from there?
  • maremare312
    maremare312 Posts: 1,143 Member
    I had the worst one ever. Seemed great, he decided to move out here (from Florida to Oregon). I kept telling him that he had to move for more reasons than just me, I wasn't willing to be someone's everything and he assured me he wanted to live here for multiple reasons. We did not click in person at all, he wouldn't get a job, was supposed to stay with me for a couple weeks, dragged into months. He would literally follow me around the house. Finally broke up with him and asked him to leave and he went back to Florida.

    Definitely spend some time together in person before anyone moves. We had had a week together before he moved and I really should have known then.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
    Try swimming.
  • med2017
    med2017 Posts: 192 Member
    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    you seriously just asked if he is a terrorist?