Divorce & Children?

Justkeepswimmin

I was 4 when my 'parents' divorced. My mother badmouthed my father and lied (saying he didn't pay child support even at one point) which led to a long boring day of seeing every singled damn cancelled check ever written. (I was obviously older than 4 at the time) I have serious issues with the woman most of you would call my 'mother' and not just for that reason. I don't believe that parents are forever, (as the annoying saying goes) but I do believe that decision has to be left (unifluenced) and up to the child once their an adult. My father never badmouthed my "mother" but I figured out in the end who she was and what she had been all about. She has changed, to her credit, but her position in my life has been irreparably damaged. Moral of the story - don't badmouth they'll figure it all out in the end anyways.

I don't know if your ex is really badmouthing you - explaining that you don't live there isn't badmouthing you. That's just a fact of the situation, you don't live there anymore...pretending you do would just confuse him - perhaps there are other things he is saying that are bad.

Badmouthing is more "mommy's a liar or you don't have to listen to that rule here or mommy left US"

I think a 50/50 situation is best IF AND ONLY IF the two of you can coparent without drama to the child. It is ideal. but in my opinion should not be the default unless there is some sign off by a medical professional that you, both of you togther, are able to function in this capacity. It is hard - and can just lead to a repeated court experience down the line if realistic expectations and TRUE mutual agreement is not set up now. This second part is based upon 5 years spent in the family court fighting for my daugther.