Ex's - how long did it take you to get over yours?

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Replies

  • I was with Joey for almost 5 years. We were going to move to Texas and get married. It's been two years since I broke it off. I just recently told him to not stop by, I didn't need him around right now, and that seeing him would not help me in my life at the moment. (Having relationship issues with my current, Marc.)
    It pissed him off. He told me to go to hell and that he'd see me there.
    After two years of wondering if I made the right decision, I know the answer was yes.
    And If he does happen to cross my path in the future, he'll know I'm doing just fine without him.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
    1st husband (daughter's father) - 3 year marriage, about 6 months (now we're like BFF's). 2nd husband - 7 month marriage, before I went to the attorney to say "get rid of him for me" :laugh:

    Recently I went out on 2 dates with someone that broke up with their ex about 9 years ago (walked in on her with his best friend). He said he's still having trouble with it and will NEVER get into another serious relationship again. Couldn't get my car keys out fast enough.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Well, considering my relationship ended in QUITE a different fashion from the OP's, it took me all of 5 minutes to get over my ex (my son's dad). That relationship lasted for almost 3 years, which was about 2 years and 11 months too long, in my opinion, but on the positive side I got quite possibly the most awesome little boy out of it :smile:

    Pro-tip fellas: don't cheat on your girlfriend with multiple women, make her quit her job (by way of serious threats) to be a stay at home mom because "that's how it's supposed to be," then spend all your money on blow and expect her to take you back when she dumps your sorry *kitten*.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    My last ex, I was over before I broke up with him. We were together for 3 years.

    The ex before that I was with for about a year, my first love, I am still not over. My boyfriend says the same about his first love.
  • qbdeal1
    qbdeal1 Posts: 25 Member
    I think i got over her about 3 months before i broke up with her. She was my fiance and she was a nutjob. Who i couldnt deal with anymore, My life was like everybody loves Raymond with her parents always coming over and telling me what to do and not to do in my house. Then i said bye bye and she wanted the car, i gave it to her including the payments. I bought myself 2 new cars, and she got stuck with a 50k bill :)
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    some interesting and humorous accounts here :)

    thanks for sharing!

    life really isnt the same for everyone, but its nice to hear others experience's

    :heart:
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I was with my ex for ten years (he was my college boyfriend, we were married for three of the ten years). We moved across the country together and he left me eight months after that. He shattered my heart. I was 3,000 miles away from all of my family and friends, but I stayed in CA for my career and eventually met my "real" husband. :D He and I have two beautiful little boys, we own a home together, and I am able to be a stay-at-home mom right now. He's "the one," if there is such a thing, but it honestly took the first heartbreak to know that. I never would've given him a chance if it hadn't been for what I learned from the first failed relationship.

    To answer your question, it took me about two years to fully "get over" the relationship. I was over HIM (out of love with him, I guess) about six months after it ended, but I didn't have another significant relationship until I met my current husband four and a half years later.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    I still love her...just hate the circumstances. Not in love with her any longer though...if it makes sense. It took about a year.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    hm...well I didn't. I remarried him. LOL

    My ex told me we'd probably end up getting married again, like Richard Pryor and his wife. I highly doubt it. That's cool that it worked out for you!

    Took me 3 years to get to the point where I didn't want to knock his girlfriend's teeth out. He still tries to touch me and stuff when he comes to see the kids, but I don't have those feelings for him anymore. We were together for 12 yrs, married almost 10.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
    Depends on which. Usually about 2-3 weeks. My first bf took the longest to get over, but he's also the only ex I can stand to talk to with out wanting to hit. One of my ex's I cringe around because he still is attracted to me though I'm not to him and liked making comments or suggestions. Creep. Other than that, it didn't take me long to get over the person, but sometimes the damage caused. One of my bf's was very nasty to me and would insult me when he could. Intelligence, weight, everything. I was over him before the relationship ended, but I was not over the damage of how bad I felt on myself.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    The first love, I think part of you is lost forever. Each one after that a month tops.
  • MaritaD
    MaritaD Posts: 178 Member
    It all depends on the situation. For me probably a couple months, though after a couple weeks I was furious with him I knew the anger meant I still had feelings. We were together 10 years, middle school sweethearts and had a baby together at 16. It was hard to break up but he didn't treat me good and I am so much happier now!! Our daughter is 10 and he see's her once a week or once every 2 weeks, she lives with me and we have a great relationship! :)
  • MdmAcolyte
    MdmAcolyte Posts: 382 Member
    Im pretty fortunate that when I see things start to go downhill, we have the talk, and a lot of times we are both on the same page. I should note that 9 times out of 10 we were already friends so staying friends wasn't an issue. There are few F***tards though that became obsessive crazy suicidal stalkers that I cannot say the same for, in which case, I was over them way before we even talked about having the talk...

    True story ~ One time, a guy that I had broken up moved to another city to recuperate, and one day he called me saying he was coming by to see me. The next day a friend called and told me he was in the NEWSPAPER because he tried to rob a 7-11 on a BICYCLE so he'd have money to come see... He'd told a friend he'd get some money, steal a car, and come teach me a lesson on why I should be with a winner like him. Hahahahaha

    Who's got two thumbs and dodged a bullet? <--- This girl!! OMFG...
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    Still day by day for me.

    This.

    It's been 4 months.
    I've finally blocked him on facebook (deleted him the day we broke up) a few days ago so he can't contact me ever again.
    I still haven't been able to delete all the photos of us.

    We were common law married and living together for 2.8 years.
    We broke up on our three year anniversary.

    It's been tough, really tough.
    But day by day it's getting better.
  • mt130022
    mt130022 Posts: 48 Member
    Well, when I've dome the breaking up, then I'm usually over it by the time I get the balls to break if off (which doesn't mean I'm not sad about it but I'm ready to move on once its done), when being broken up with,..well it can take more time.

    This is me also. Thankfully, I FINALLY had enough. Once I didn't CRY, I knew I was done. :glasses:
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
    My last ex & I were together for a few years but having problems and I was not happy in the relationship for months before we actually broke up. I should have left a lot sooner than I did because I knew he and I wanted different things out of life. So I was kind of already over him when we actually split up. There was a brief period of “oh, it’s really over. Sad.” but to be honest, I’d already kind of emotionally readied myself and ended up dating my now husband (who I’d been friends with previously) a few weeks later, although hubby and I didn’t get serious until about 6 months into our dating as hubby wanted to be sure I was *really* over my ex.

    During the time when I was dating hubby, me and the ex were not talking. Before I got married, my ex and I reconnected on FB and became friends and he is one of my dearest friends to this day. He’s actually the one who got me hooked on MFP. We see each other offline maybe once a month for movie nights with friends etc.

    The guy I dated before THAT, we lived together for a couple of years. We broke up one day literally by having this convo “do you still want to be together?” “No” “Can we still be roommates?” “Sure” and we broke up, moved on, dated other people but continued to live together as roommates and buddies for a few more years. We just moved into separate rooms. He’s also one of my best friends. He was at my wedding. He’s like a brother to me now. We live 5 minutes away from each other. Sometimes he gives me a lift to work.

    My husband thinks my former roommate is a great guy. He’s never met the other guy in person but harbors no ill will towards him or anything like that. Hubby’s just not as social as me and usually doesn’t venture out to the movie nights etc.

    So I don’t know how to answer your question. I got over them both romantically very quickly. But since they are two of my best friends, it feels weird to say I’m “over” them since I love them like bro’s and hope they are in my life as friends forever.

    They’re both on my MFP friends list and probably reading this lol so hi guys! <3 ya!

    I take losing platonic friends much harder. By contrast, my ex-best friend was a man I never dated. Never had any romantic connection to at all. We were inseperable best friends. He moved halfway across the state to live in the same apartment house as me when I lived with my ex. We were together every day. He was the "man of honor" in my wedding.

    A year and a half ago, he met a really awful and psychotic woman who demanded he cease all contact with ALL of his friends, including and especially me. He stopped speaking to me (and all his other friends) on March 19th 2011. None of us have heard from him since. I only know he is still alive because he still lives in the unit below my ex.

    I am not over that and I don't know if I ever will be. :(
  • Depends on the ex, there was a guy I dated years ago and I can still look back and be sad that it ended. But there is my recent ex who I dated for two and a half years and I was over him in like a week. Haha.
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 390 Member
    Depends on the relationship. I'm happily married now but still grieve a little over my first marriage (not that I'd ever want to be with him again, he's married and has a kid and we still catch up every now and then). However my relationship before my current husband was a 2-year ordeal and I was over him the minute he told me if I had Cancer he wasn't going to stick around and then when I did break up with him he beat me and left me with fingerprints on my neck...
  • freckledrats
    freckledrats Posts: 251 Member
    The only person it took me a long time to get over was someone I was never truly dating. It took... 6 months? I had it bad :( But eventually the fact that he was a dillhole and completely full of himself made it easier to let go, so I suspect it would be harder with an actual good guy you had deep feelings for.

    Best of luck :)
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Pro-tip fellas: don't cheat on your girlfriend with multiple women, make her quit her job (by way of serious threats) to be a stay at home mom because "that's how it's supposed to be," then spend all your money on blow and expect her to take you back when she dumps your sorry *kitten*.

    Duly noted...
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
    My marriage was over before it was officially "over". The time I took after he moved out, was for me to get to know myself again, not to get over him :-)
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    bout 5 minutes, two shot of tequila and a smile from a pretty girl.
  • took about 2 years to not let him bk into my thoughts, the things he did though I will never get over, I just learned to deal with it better.
  • DesignGuy
    DesignGuy Posts: 457 Member
    About half a minute maybe. I don't hold on to the past, I embrace the present and look to the future. **** happens, that's life. If it's right, it's right and if it's not, it's not.

    :)
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    There was about a 2 year period after my divorce that were pretty much about the body count at my place. Eventually though, I started being open to relationships longer than 2 weeks and got back to normal.

    Actually, saw my ex on FB yesterday celebrating her 17 year old daughter's birthday. I was amazed to find that she still has an emotional effect on me. After all these years though, it's all good.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    By the time I am ready to end a relationship, I am pretty much over it already. I like to feel like I have tried everything I could possibly try, within reason, so I can walk away with no regrets. That is not to say I don't feel sad about the end of the relationship, but I am far more focused on healing and moving on.

    I also don't keep unnecessary ties to exes (facebook friends, emails, or other contact). When it's over, it's over.
  • We have a daughter together so it made it harder at first to get over him. Now with the way he acts towards me and our daughter made it really easy to be happy that he's someone else's problem. :)
  • quietHiker
    quietHiker Posts: 1,442 Member
    I only have 2 ex's....and the ex who took the longest to get over for me was interestingly my shortest relationship. He just knew me. It took a good...4 years to get over him (3 of those years I was dating someone else). I think some people are just meant to stick with you for a while.
  • About 10 seconds. He walked out of my room after I said I don't have time for a relationship and would prefer just being friends, and he slammed my back door. Lost all sympathy at that moment, to be honest v.v
  • Carlyannabelle
    Carlyannabelle Posts: 621 Member
    Long before it was officially over

    ^^^ This.