Mommy is losing it...

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odusgolp
odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
in Chit-Chat
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This lady... right here... needs advice. My son (6) is in a really bad whining phase. Instant melt-down for unnecessary reasons. I'm divorced and although I think he does it slightly more with me, he also does with his father and it's driving us both a bit batty. (Dad & I are very good friends and live only a few doors away from each other and really do co-parent on these types of things)

We need to change our behavior in order to change his, I realize... but whatever we've tried doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

Any books you can advise for him to read as well as books for adults on handling it. Also random advice is welcome. I'm actually soliciting parenting advice, so have at it.

Side note: nothing has "changed" to set this off, it's just always been his general m.o. but it seems to be getting more frequent.
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Replies

  • emmy3111
    emmy3111 Posts: 482 Member
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    Bumping to see what advice is offered... having similar issues with my 10 year-old.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Going through the same crap with my 3 year old.



    /facedesk
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    FYI... Can't wait to change my picture and think of pounding Jac all day...

    Sorry, a bit off-topic.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    This lady... right here...

    Is hot!


    Not much help than talking to the kid about and/or hoping they grow out of it.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    My 6 year old is doing the same thing. The first thing we are doing that seems to work at all is that as soon as he starts whining about something, that guarantees he doesn't get what he is whining about. The other thing is 'no fair' that has come into his vocabulary lately - making me stabby. I tell him over and over that things aren't fair or equal. If there were, we would all look the same, have the same things, do the same things and like the same things. Luckily, he things that sounds boring and that usually stops the 'no fair' whining. If you do find something that works even a little, let me know! I have another one right behind him.
  • TorontoDiane
    TorontoDiane Posts: 1,413 Member
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    its attention getting!!!!

    the louder he whines, the more he thinks he is the centre of attention and can get what he wants... although you have a good relationship with your ex... at a very early age children do learn to play one parent against the other
  • Jenn728
    Jenn728 Posts: 683 Member
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    Could you ignore it or have him throw his tantrum in another room or you leave the room? He is most likely doing it to get a reaction or for attention. If he sees it won't work, he may stop.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    I always just sent mine to their room. I didn't have to hear it anymore and they had no reason to continue as there was no audience. In public, it's a different story. I did spank, but not a lot. Usually, I would finish the trip (usually shopping) as best as I could. Then, when we got home, I took their favorite toy and put it in a visible area that they could not reach so that everytime they passed by, it reminded them of why they couldn't have it. That seemed to work for us.
  • katrwal
    katrwal Posts: 336 Member
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    OK - for those with no sense of humor - please don't report me to CPS...

    1st whine - warning
    2nd whine - time-out (not sure how you do it, but we have a specific step at home, when we're out, he gets to sit on a bench or curb, i stand with my back turned to him)
    3rd whine - wall sits for 30 seconds

    i started the wall sits with my stepson when he was 13... they think it's so easy for the first 10 seconds... good luck and congrats for being able to continue to co-parent with your ex - not an easy task at all.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    Spank that a** :)
    ^this^ also try ignoring him when he dose it- or laugh and take pictures, when he stops getting the reaction he wants from you he'll cut it out
  • BriskaPacojame
    BriskaPacojame Posts: 197
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    Bumping as well. My six-year-old is doing the same lately. Maybe its the age??
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    I've been sending my five year old to his room when he starts his tantrums. I really hoped that they'd grow out of it, but it just becomes a different kind of disobedience. T_T
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
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    I dont respond when my girls whine. Simple as that. I tell them that if they want me to help them then they need speak to me in a "normal" tone. It is actually quite funny as when I remind them of this it is like a switch that has been turned off and it instantly stops.
  • Cindy873
    Cindy873 Posts: 1,165
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    I used to teach preschool and whining was my #1 pet peeve! I used to tell the kids, "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you speak in that voice. I'll be ready to listen when you can talk to me in a normal voice." Then walk away and continue what you were doing and give him time to compose himself.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Honestly, the way I currently am handling it is to leave... leave the room and ignore it. Usually I just say "No. This is not a good reason to have a melt-down and I'm not going to listen to it." And yes... I roll my eyes as soon as I turn my back *LOL* I can't take it... so I leave, and once he realizes he's not getting whatever he stops. But for the love of gravy, why does everything need to start with this whining routine. Maybe I'm just expecting too much of a 6 year old and he'll outgrow it.

    Or maybe it's payback for all the whining I can even remember doing as a child *LOL*

    Damn you karma...
  • LNZimmer
    LNZimmer Posts: 94
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    Spank that a** :)

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    THAT RIGHT THERE.

    I have had to start spanking my child. I don't like it, and don't want to, but that is the problem with kids now. Not enough butt whoopins!!!! I was spanked as a child and it didn't break me. Parents try too hard to be friends with their kids.

    We are parents first, friends second!!!

    ***Sorry, had to fix the typo there!****

    And say - I don't think spanking is great. I really don't....I felt like I sounded like an awful person. I don't spank her if she is whining, I spank for meltdowns and just acting like a kid with "no home training".

    All kids do it! That's for sure!
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    My 2 1/2 year old has been doing this lately. My only advice is more wine when they go to bed. :drinker:
  • ShirleyFed5
    ShirleyFed5 Posts: 35 Member
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    One of my best friends was going through this with her daughter. She couldn't get through a shopping trip without some sort of whining and then a melt down. So one time her daughter threw a temper tantrum in the store, my friend got down on the floor and started kicking and screaming too. The daughter stopped immediately and told her mom to stop because it was really embarassing! The mom told her that's how she looks when she's having a melt down and the daughter never did it in public again! She was about 6 at the time. Don't know if I would have the guts to do that, but it worked.
  • samf36
    samf36 Posts: 369 Member
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    Walk away and do not respond while they are doing it. If you have to say something just say " I am sorry I can't understand you when you speak to me that way" then walk away.

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