Broken Hearted :-(

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deniseearheart
deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
in Chit-Chat
How long do these things last?? I've been crying for a few weeks now leading up to this and the relationship ended last night. I just don't know how to get over this! My guy of 4 years and I ended it and he threw me out and has absolutely no emotion over it. I have no job , no money, no phone, no car. We just got back into town two weeks ago. luckily an old friend said I could stay a few days but that is it... I also have my 14 year old son with me.. I am so f'd I don't know what to do... I am emotional, worried, scared, hurt, I can't eat and I feel like someone died.......... Anyone.....
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Replies

  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    I know how you feel. My ex and I ended around 5 months ago and it is still hard sometimes. Time is really the only thing that can heal unfortunately. But know that you are better off being by yourself, than being with someone who doesn't want to be with you!

    ::hugs::
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    OK dear.
    You've posted numerous threads about this man and this situation. It sounds like you are much better off without.
    Turn on some Fiona Apple, eat a great big steak and some ice cream.


    THEN GO HAVE AN ANGRY WORKOUT!

    You are much much much much better off.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Maybe this is harsh but ... I know when I break up with someone i show no emotion, and that is because I am usually done. I do not know your situation or why it happened but you need to pull up your big girl panties and handle stuff.

    It is ok to be hurt, and sad and angry and greive but for your sake and your childs sake you need to push it aside and get things figured out. Take any job - even retail, fast food ANYTHING that will give you money right now - you do not have to stay there forever use it as an interm kind of thing (its coming up to christmas everyone in retail hires more during the holidays).

    It won't be easy, it was 4 years of your life but you NEED to do it.
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
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    I am really sorry this has happened to you and your son. You both deserve better than this. I am glad to hear/read that you
    have a friend to be with you, even for a few days. Maybe meet with someone (Social worker, counselor, etc.,) to help you decide
    what is your best move.

    Hugs, :flowerforyou:
  • LordBear
    LordBear Posts: 239 Member
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    wow..what an ahole.. u have no family or anything? would offer but share a place already and wld be kinda creepy since we have never met..lol.. i would suggest going to the help office and ask them and they can point u somewhere..maybe to a shelter or something tell u get on your feet... hope something works out for u.
  • LeslieC1970
    LeslieC1970 Posts: 160
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    I'm not sure where you live but their are some government agencies that you can go to that help in emergency situations and get you into some temporary housing. I would recommend you do that first so that you can begin to process the loss of your relationship. You have too many stressors right now to cope with all of them at once.
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    i agree!,...turn on some angry Beyonce /Cher you did me wrong,now I'm out the door music,brush yur shoulders off,u hav a child to think of,..get in ONE LAST CRY,ANGRY WRKOUT(PUNCHING/BOXING),AND THEN START PLANNING U & YUR SONS FUTURE.,..& NEVER SHED ANOTHER TEAR 4 T HAT FOOL AGAIN!,..YOU HAVE THE STRENGHTH IN YOU,LIKE SOOOO MANY WOMEN B4 U,YA JUST GOTTA DIG DEEP!~best wishes
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.



    uh ya I am asking advice cause i have no where to start... hours and hours and hours of job searching since we have been back in town and I onloy got one interview and that is not even guaranteed... :-/
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
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    wow..what an ahole.. u have no family or anything? would offer but share a place already and wld be kinda creepy since we have never met..lol.. i would suggest going to the help office and ask them and they can point u somewhere..maybe to a shelter or something tell u get on your feet... hope something works out for u.




    no family no nothing
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
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    Be better prepared next time. As an adult, how do you not have money, car or phone? Were you just leeching off of him?
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    Believe me, after a four year relationship it's going to hit him harder than it hit you, emotionally. It'll just take longer. He's going to have a complete meltdown, probably in private and he *might* tell his best friend or it might cause him to show it in anger but men, in general, have more emotional damage after a breakup with some one they truly love than women do. Women just show it a lot more. Men internalize. Of course I'm speaking in general terms here so don't you all come at me with the NUH-UH NO IT DON'T. I know what I've lived and what I've read.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.



    uh ya I am asking advice cause i have no where to start... hours and hours and hours of job searching since we have been back in town and I onloy got one interview and that is not even guaranteed... :-/

    Your post centered on your emotional state (e.g. "How long do these things last?? I've been crying for a few weeks now"), and only briefly referenced practical issues. If you're looking for practical help, it might be useful to clearly state that.

    A few things:
    -If you've worked recently, you might qualify for unemployment.
    -Depending on your situation, you might qualify for TANF, food stamps, etc., so contacting the appropriate agencies would be a good idea.
    -There may also be local organizations that could provide help, since you clearly have internet access, I'd recommend starting with Google.
  • lilacsun
    lilacsun Posts: 204 Member
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    i agree!,...turn on some angry Beyonce /Cher you did me wrong,now I'm out the door music,brush yur shoulders off,u hav a child to think of,..get in ONE LAST CRY,ANGRY WRKOUT(PUNCHING/BOXING),AND THEN START PLANNING U & YUR SONS FUTURE.,..& NEVER SHED ANOTHER TEAR 4 T HAT FOOL AGAIN!,..YOU HAVE THE STRENGHTH IN YOU,LIKE SOOOO MANY WOMEN B4 U,YA JUST GOTTA DIG DEEP!~best wishes


    This and Rhiannas whole "Take a Bow" album. There are many more out there that would appreciate you., while he apparently didn't.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    OK dear.
    You've posted numerous threads about this man and this situation. It sounds like you are much better off without.
    Turn on some Fiona Apple, eat a great big steak and some ice cream.


    THEN GO HAVE AN ANGRY WORKOUT!

    You are much much much much better off.

    Best advice ever!!
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
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    Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.

    ^^^^^^^THIS
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
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    I'm pretty sure the rest of us saw this coming a mile away. Why didn't you? Over the past few weeks you have posted numerous threads about how your relationship was failing. I'm a single mother and there is no way I would ever allow myself to be in a position where I had no home, car, job, etc...

    1. Put your child first
    2. Find a place to live. Not with a friend or BF. Your own place.
    3. Get a job. Any job is better than none.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Be better prepared next time. As an adult, how do you not have money, car or phone?

    My thoughts exactly. I always have an exit plan.
  • oliv2065
    oliv2065 Posts: 204 Member
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    It's all a slow process. When my exhusdband and I split. I had no money, no car, and no job. So our 2month old daughter and I lived in the housing authority. I got a job at the restuarant right across the street from where I lived, the job was under the counter so I didn't even get minimum wage. I finished my college online at the town library. What I am saying here is do what you have to do inorder to make it. Take any job you can get, don't ever fill it is below you. Get assisstants and work your way out. It is a hard depressing time, but don't look for anyone to save you. Get up and make it on your own. That happened to me 6yrs ago, and I have made it a long way. And if I can do it you can to.
  • pinthin87
    pinthin87 Posts: 296 Member
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    You poor thing. I just broke up with my guy too. We were living together and he asked for a bunch of money back on bills so now I have to rely on my mother to play catch up on my bills this month...such a pain! I can totally relate. I don't have a child to consider but I would just say take things a day at a time. I know it sounds like the biggest cliche ever but seriously it works. Only tackle the things you can handle at this very moment and then the other things will start to fall into place. Your friend is a very good friend indeed to invite you and your son to stay. I know it must be tough to accept that type of help as an adult and a mom but remember that people who care for you only want the best and want you to lean on them if needed. I hope things get better for you! :-)

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