Broken Hearted :-(

OBXbound4me

My take is this; you are a pretty girl who got into a relationship way deeper than the person who was occupying that relationship with you. Things seemed to be going bad for a while and he had to know that if it really went bad he would totally screw you by ending things and kicking you out. He may have been planning this, who knows. Some men are emotionally retarded or stunted and can't have a deep feeling much less one that goes past the consequences of the next 15 minutes. Since you have your son with you, the first thing is finding somewhere safe to hold up until you can get work and get on your feet. If you have no family nearby, you may need to see if they can help you get to them. You can also look for government assistance. Once you get those things taken care of, do some work on you before you date again. Improve things you think you need too and make sure you don't settle for the same old ****. Make the next guy deserve you because you are worth at least that. You have to believe that or people will always give you and treat you less than you deserve. Best of luck to you going forward.

MyM0wM0w

Time to pull up your big girl panties and be a mom. Stop snivelling. Walk, hitchike, or beg a ride to human services and ask them what help they might offer. Then walk, hitchike, or beg a ride to unemployment and see if they might be able to help.

I'm sorry that you're broken hearted over a relationship that you realize has been crappy for years and now suddenly you're shocked because it's over, but you've got someone else depending on you and you need to deal.

ShreddedTweet

Go to a social services office, they will make sure you get set up on some assistance to keep you fed to start with. After that you have to look at the states laws for community property, in 4 years depending on what your relationship was like you most likely contributed to the household wealth and are entitled to a portion of it. Marriage isn't the only legally binding relationship courts will enforce. Hell if he has been claiming supporting your child on his tax return and taking the exemption he probably has established some sort of precedence for supporting your child.

Yes she could do this but then that would probably reqire her to get a divorce (which cost money) and possibly share custody of her child (if he wanted to be a jerk because she is making him support a child that isn't his).

I realise she said she was 'doing the whole wife mother' thing but they're not married and that kid isn't his.

deniseearheart

Go to a social services office, they will make sure you get set up on some assistance to keep you fed to start with. After that you have to look at the states laws for community property, in 4 years depending on what your relationship was like you most likely contributed to the household wealth and are entitled to a portion of it. Marriage isn't the only legally binding relationship courts will enforce. Hell if he has been claiming supporting your child on his tax return and taking the exemption he probably has established some sort of precedence for supporting your child.

Yes she could do this but then that would probably reqire her to get a divorce (which cost money) and possibly share custody of her child (if he wanted to be a jerk because she is making him support a child that isn't his).

I realise she said she was 'doing the whole wife mother' thing but they're not married and that kid isn't his.

no but we were engaed and I took care of my kid and his and him and our home...

deniseearheart

engaged*

norcal_yogi

OK dear.
You've posted numerous threads about this man and this situation. It sounds like you are much better off without.
Turn on some Fiona Apple, eat a great big steak and some ice cream.


THEN GO HAVE AN ANGRY WORKOUT!

You are much much much much better off.

...or get out your Alanis cds and be pissed!! then move on...... you are better off.

erickirb

engaged*

If you were living together for a while you would be common law spouses, at least in Canada that is almost the same as marriage and would entitle you to half, not sure how the system work down in the US.

lour441

Be better prepared next time. As an adult, how do you not have money, car or phone? Were you just leeching off of him?

um no I moved out of state with him a few years ago. I had a job and car up to that point. He was making really great money where we went and so he wanted me to stay home and I did the wife and mom thing as one of his kids lived with us to... No leeching at all.

I think it is pretty crappy that he left you in this situation after all the time you spent taking care of his home and child while he worked outside the home. It just goes to show you that he has absolutely no respect for the work a SAHM does.

You should have not given him the option of you being a SAHM until you got married. You have no real protection until you get married. My wife is a SAHM and if we split up she would probably end up with our house, alimony, and child support and would deserve whatever she got.

Get whatever government help you can and work your way out of this mess.

Southern_Belle89

I know this sounds cliche but time does heal all wounds! Just honestly try to vent through working out, blogging, hanging out with girlfriends etc! Hope you feel better hon!:flowerforyou:

sizzle92

Where do you live? He can't kick you out of your residence that easily.

blacklaceroses

Well you are in a true mess. I will never understand how people who are not marry trust each other that much . My now hubby and I dated all though college. But I always kept my own place, money, and car. I love my hubby with every being in my heart ,but people are like seasons.We are always changing I know I have to always look out for myself. It not his responsibility to look after me in the end. I'm 26 now and my mother grinded that into me since I was ten. Never trust a human being that much with your welfare.

Your 33? 14 year old son. and in a bad spot. I feel mostly for the 14 year old. all your mistakes he has to bear because you decided to put that much trust in "guy" who clearly is ok in the end because well he got his own bed to sleep in tonight.

Sorry for the harsh response but being a social worker and seeing this so much among (mostly) women with children just burns me up a bit. No i don't have children but children look at mothers as the closest thing to a God when it comes to their welfare.

Time to start making some moves for you and your son. Take it as a lesson learn. How long you ask? Well dear that up to you and where you decide to place your energy. Broken heart? or Reclaiming your Independence? Nothing on Myfitnesspal.com can help you on this


also ask yourself if you solely didn't depend on him would you really feel this messed up? Maybe sad over a four year relationship and I agree it is like death, but if you knew in your heart that the relationship is/was already over then it died along time go. This is just the physical part of it.

hugs and take care. (also i don't know the whole story maybe you feel on bad luck but none the less focus just on you and your son. If my hubby told me to stay home I personally would have a problem with that never give know one that much control especially if you two don't have no legal papers together)

deniseearheart

I know this sounds cliche but time does heal all wounds! Just honestly try to vent through working out, blogging, hanging out with girlfriends etc! Hope you feel better hon!:flowerforyou:

how long does it take???

Dub_D

I have no job , no money, no phone, no car.

That may have something to do with it. Get some independence.

jynxxxed

Sorry, but you're not even attempting to take anybody's advice. The only things you reply to are defending yourself and answering questions. Some legitimate advice has been given here and you completely overlook it.

Instead of sitting on here the past few days posting these forums over and over, TAKE ACTION! Nothing is being accomplished with what you're doing now.

erickirb

I know this sounds cliche but time does heal all wounds! Just honestly try to vent through working out, blogging, hanging out with girlfriends etc! Hope you feel better hon!:flowerforyou:

how long does it take???

Depends, could be weeks, months or even years.

ShreddedTweet

I know this sounds cliche but time does heal all wounds! Just honestly try to vent through working out, blogging, hanging out with girlfriends etc! Hope you feel better hon!:flowerforyou:

how long does it take???

Depends, could be weeks, months or even years.

It'll happen the minute you take the blinkers off, see what he has done, stop playing the victim and take your life back for the sake of your poor child.

deniseearheart

Well you in a true mess. I will never understand how people who are not marry trust each other that much . My now hubby and I dated all though college. But I always kept my own place, money, and car. I love my hubby with every being in my heart ,but people are like seasons.We are always changing I know I have to always look out for myself. It not his responsibility to look after me in the end. I'm 26 now and my mother grinded that into me since I was ten. Never trust a human being that much with your welfare.

Your 33? 14 year old son. and in a bad spot. I feel mostly for the 14 year old. all your mistakes he has to bear because you decided to put that much trust in "guy" who clearly is ok in the end because well he got his own bed to sleep in tonight.

Sorry for the harsh response but being a social worker and seeing this so much among (mostly) women with children just burns me up a bit. No i don't have children but children look at mothers as the closest thing to a God when it comes to their welfare.

Time to start making some moves for you and your son. Take it as a lesson learn. How long you ask? Well dear that up to you and where you decide to place your energy. Broken heart? or Reclaiming your Independence? Nothing on Myfitnesspal.com can help you on this


also ask yourself if you solely didn't depend on him would you really feel this messed up? Maybe sad over a four year relationship and I agree it is like death, but if you knew in your heart that the relationship is/was already over then it died along time go. This is just the physical part of it.

hugs and take care. (also i don't know the whole story maybe you feel on bad luck but none the less focus just on you and your son)

thanks

Wolfey23

hunny bunny !!
Dont worry yo sweet *kitten*!!
lets do this ^_^
ok so broke up with the man
the man aint taken to it kindly
you STRESSING about a job and money and clothes and food and safety . .
its okay 100% to feel afraid but we gotta help you relax

i can get you free pratical programmes to help you get rid of stress and i can guarantee they work
i can also tell you that if you stress about this **** it doesnt help (ofcourse ya know that)

probably one of the best things i can say is get out of your comfortzone and do that 1 thing your too afraid to do
which could be
a: tell that son of a ***** to let your *kitten* back in that house
b: hit the social wellfare explain your situation
c: ask your friend thats helpin you . . if he knows anyone who can help atall

when you need something you dont get it
but when you want it you get that and more so keep a level head if your
brain aint relaxed it might take you to more places of stress by the way your lovely lookin
cheers Beava!!!

djsupreme6

try and stay strong...theres no quick fix..i've been following your posts and I feel for you and understand all the hell thats been happening...stay true to yourself and your kids...you'll bounce back faster, harder, stronger...and when the time is right you will have no problem finding somebody else...you're a beauty

tismyhardbody

Where do you live? He can't kick you out of your residence that easily.

true!