Broken Hearted :-(

ncahill77

Go to a social services office, they will make sure you get set up on some assistance to keep you fed to start with. After that you have to look at the states laws for community property, in 4 years depending on what your relationship was like you most likely contributed to the household wealth and are entitled to a portion of it. Marriage isn't the only legally binding relationship courts will enforce. Hell if he has been claiming supporting your child on his tax return and taking the exemption he probably has established some sort of precedence for supporting your child.

NWCountryGal

Yes, you are going to have to prioritize honey. It may be a hard thing to do but some cities have women/children shelters. I know, it is an awful thing to have to do but it could help you get back on your feet. If you have family or friends that are willing to let you guys stay with them, that can be better than a shelter, or it can be worse. All hard decisions but you have to take care of that little guy.

denise
PS If you friend me, I might be able to do some research for you on your area. I would be glad to help because I have been down and out before in my life.

Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.

jynxxxed

Telemarketing jobs will hire /anybody/. Literally. Do that short term until you find a better job. If you're needing a place to live, I am sure there are many women's shelters around where you live that will assist you until you save up enough money. Google them and move past this.

Best of luck!

deniseearheart

Be better prepared next time. As an adult, how do you not have money, car or phone? Were you just leeching off of him?

um no I moved out of state with him a few years ago. I had a job and car up to that point. He was making really great money where we went and so he wanted me to stay home and I did the wife and mom thing as one of his kids lived with us to... No leeching at all.

sillygoose1977

Not to be harsh, but if you have a child, no money, no job, no car, and no place to live I think you have bigger things to worry about than your "broken heart." I'd start with finding a longer term place to live and a job.

uh ya I am asking advice cause i have no where to start... hours and hours and hours of job searching since we have been back in town and I onloy got one interview and that is not even guaranteed... :-/

Well I agreed with the above but I understand it's not so easy. You may have to take a job that you don't necessarily want but you have to because you aren't alone in your situation. You may have to live somewhere that isn't ideal either. Sometimes the tasks of daily life really help distract from a broken heart. Just remember that you can't afford to sit and wallow. You have to get your sh!it together because you have no other choice.

I speak from experience here. I was in about the same situation a year ago. Just put the big girl panties on and do what has to be done. You can grieve later. I really didn't have time to be depressed about the break up until a couple of months ago and it was a very, very dark place but I am surviving. Why? Because I am a mother first and foremost, and my kid needs ME, not a crying, sad sack of a woman. Also, you should resolve to be alone for quite some time. It sounds like you may be a tad codependent and it would do you a lot of good to learn to exist all on your own.

chachita7

This is the moment you tune in to the strong creature you are and you understand that you need noone!!! You will pick yourself up and fight for your child and yourself - use the few days that your friend is offering for you to stay at their house very wisely - stay away from MFP, instead research what types of help you might be eligible to receive to get on your feet.... apply for all the jobs you find - regardless of minimum wage or not (something is better than nothing)... while working that job then you can seek for something more substantial

The secret here is to go in to complete MOTHER gear here...

As a woman you can do anything a man can do - you can be your own provider- therefore you don't need one, unless you are trying to have a child of course where their donation is extremely necessary, ha

The road will get bumpy but you got this

jiva57

I'm pretty sure the rest of us saw this coming a mile away. Why didn't you? Over the past few weeks you have posted numerous threads about how your relationship was failing. I'm a single mother and there is no way I would ever allow myself to be in a position where I had no home, car, job, etc...

1. Put your child first
2. Find a place to live. Not with a friend or BF. Your own place.
3. Get a job. Any job is better than none.

I have to agree with this. You saw it coming. You are automatically taking a victim stance (Waaah, I got nothing!), which is acting like a 15 year old when you are an adult in your 30's. The sympathy you're here to get won't help you. Take stock of what you DO have going for you (your health? a friend who cares enough to take you in??), talk that up, along with your plan for tomorrow. Teach your son that an adult can turn it around instead of laying down and crying. Cry in your car on your way to work.

smtillman2

Go to a social services office, they will make sure you get set up on some assistance to keep you fed to start with. After that you have to look at the states laws for community property, in 4 years depending on what your relationship was like you most likely contributed to the household wealth and are entitled to a portion of it. Marriage isn't the only legally binding relationship courts will enforce. Hell if he has been claiming supporting your child on his tax return and taking the exemption he probably has established some sort of precedence for supporting your child.

Yes she could do this but then that would probably reqire her to get a divorce (which cost money) and possibly share custody of her child (if he wanted to be a jerk because she is making him support a child that isn't his).

misspersimmon

I don't necessarily agree with any of these responses. It sounds like you are struggling right now and really need some support, at least while you get your feet back on the ground. Figure out who in your life you can get some safe support from and practice some self care daily (even if only in small ways). Have you considered looking for a shelter to stay in? I know there are shelters for women and children while you try and look for work. Maybe try calling a local crisis line to see if you can figure some stuff out. Good luck.

grubb1019

From what I can see from a quick search you should start here :

Pioneer Human Services
9707 Turk Dr
Tulalip, WA
360) 651-8287

It looks like your closest Human Services organization. If not, find your closest one. They can help you with your job search, counseling, and if it comes down to it assistance for shelter and food. Count your lucky stars that you are rid of him, there is someone out there that will love you and care for you.

sizzle92

Be better prepared next time. As an adult, how do you not have money, car or phone?

My thoughts exactly. I always have an exit plan.

I know. It's hard to watch women put themselves in such horrible helpless situations. Especially when they have kids. I wish you the best in finding a way to fix this mess OP.

janelleross

I'm not sure where you live, but have you checked into resources like the local United Way or something like Catholic Charities. There should be non-profit organizations in your area that can help you find a place to live and get some assistance with items like toiletries, food, etc. while you find a job and get back on your feet.

Vitosmom5455

You cannot, and should not, depend on anyone but yourself. Ever. End of story.

ladyonaquest

I don't know about the area you are in but in my area there is a program called Family Promise that helps in situations like yours.They provide housing for homeless families, help with job searches and provide transportation. I would contact agencies in your area that may provide assistance to families that are homeless. Do you have any family you can reach out to for help? I'm so sorry you are dealing with this!

feltlikesound

Is he the father of your child?

bikermike5094

have you considered turning tricks?

I'm just kidding of course :bigsmile:

I see on line that Wal-mart is looking to add 50,000 worker for the holiday season. Its not glamous or maybe long term, but its an income that will provide food and shelter until you get more stable work.

magj0y

How long do these things last?? I've been crying for a few weeks now leading up to this and the relationship ended last night. I just don't know how to get over this! My guy of 4 years and I ended it and he threw me out and has absolutely no emotion over it. I have no job , no money, no phone, no car. We just got back into town two weeks ago. luckily an old friend said I could stay a few days but that is it... I also have my 14 year old son with me.. I am so f'd I don't know what to do... I am emotional, worried, scared, hurt, I can't eat and I feel like someone died.......... Anyone.....

You have a son to think about.
Go to the welfare office, they will give you emergency money for housing and then a monthly stipend for expenses.
Get a job or job training (the welfare office will help you with this)

Before you think "I'm too proud/whatever to get welfare"
YOUR TAX DOLLARS PAID already!! Any man who throws a woman out on the streets with a kid is no man at all. There is no reason to cry over this heartless dude. (child support ?)

Good luck

ShreddedTweet

I'm pretty sure the rest of us saw this coming a mile away. Why didn't you? Over the past few weeks you have posted numerous threads about how your relationship was failing. I'm a single mother and there is no way I would ever allow myself to be in a position where I had no home, car, job, etc...

1. Put your child first
2. Find a place to live. Not with a friend or BF. Your own place.
3. Get a job. Any job is better than none.

This and in future don't put your child who has no say in this into such a vulnerable position. Three relationships in a row with men who you say treated you badly and this poor kid dragged along for the ride. This is the same boyfriend who is an *kitten*, treated you badly, trawled online for other women, left you at home while he went out drinking etc. Only clever thing you have done here is end it. Get a phone!

deniseearheart

Is he the father of your child?

no

UNCLRB15

Things will get better but you have to believe in what you cannot see and trust yourself. I will be praying for you and your son. I will tell you my story and how my ex- husband put me out with our daughter and I was pregnant …But I made!!!!!!!!!!!
Please friend request me and I tell you my story….