Silly joke time, put em on :-)
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That's enough dyslexic jokes - KO?0
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What did one strawberry say to the other?
"If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam..."0 -
An italian, a frenchman, and a redneck are talking.
The Italian says "When I've finished makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her feet and she floats 6 inches of da bed in ecstacy."
The Frencman replies "zat is nothing. When ah.ve finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all zee way down her body and zen ah lick za bottome of her feet and she floats a foot above ze bed in ecstacy. "
The redneck says "psshhooot that ain't nothin! When I've finished porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin ceilin. "0 -
That's enough dyslexic jokes - KO?
lol just one more.
A dyslexic skiier didn't know whether to zig-zag dowm the slop or zag-zig. So he goes up to a guy dressed in all the gear and asks him whether he should zig-zag, or zag-zig
The guy says "Hey it's no good asking me, I'm a tobogganist"
"Oh right" He says, "In that case can I have 20 Marlboro please"0 -
This ones a bit long, but hey. It's a guy writing in to an agony aunt in a UK tabloid.
Dear Deirdre. I have never written to you before but i really need your advice. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings and if i answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot & when I ask the names it's "you don't know them", i try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I ususally fall asleep. Anyway last night i decided to finally check on her. Around midnight i hid in the garage behind my motorbike so as to get a good view of the whole street when she came home from her night out with the girls. When she got out of the car she was buttoning her blouse which was open and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment as i crouched behind my motorbike i noticed it, a hairline crack where the fairing meets the tank, is this something i can fix myself or should i take it back to the shop?
Perfect.0 -
I don't know why this cracks me up so much, but here goes:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.0 -
What did one snowman say to the other?
"Do you smell carrots?"
lol0 -
Hear about the flasher who was thinking about retiring? He decided to stick it out one more year.0
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:blushing: :drinker:0
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So these two muffins are baking in an oven and one turns to the other and says "man! hot enough in here for ya?" and the other one says "HOLY CRAP! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"I don't know why this cracks me up so much, but here goes:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q: what's black and sticky?
A: a stick at night.
Q: what's brown and runny?
A: Usain Bolt
Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop?
A: Dr. Dre!
Q: what do you call the black guy flying the plane?
A: the pilot, you racist!
:laugh:0 -
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Hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa
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Bahahahahahahaha :laugh:0 -
What do you get when you cross a rhinoceros with an elephant? Elephino.0
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IDK how to "quote" my last post, but that was hilarious. I didn't mean to appear to steal it lol.0
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What do vegetarian zombies eat?
GRAAAAAAAIIIIIIINS
I know another one about pizza but it's really cheesy.0 -
Doctor: Congratulations, you have a life inside you!
Patient: But doctor, I am a man!!!
Doctor: Well.. Ascarids doesn't really care...
had to google that one....0 -
IDK how to "quote" my last post, but that was hilarious. I didn't mean to appear to steal it lol.
[ quote ]blah blah blah [ /quote ] (without spaces in the mark-ups).0 -
Doctor: Congratulations, you have a life inside you!
Patient: But doctor, I am a man!!!
Doctor: Well.. Ascarids doesn't really care...
had to google that one....
you're not the only one... ew.0 -
Two Irishmen walk past a bar...
Hey, it could happen!0 -
What is big, green and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you will kill you?
A pool table.0 -
Patrick Stewart was trying to make a throw for his next role as Xavier but couldn't work the machine so he turned to his friend and said
wait for it
make it sew!0
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