telling your partner how much you weigh

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de2brown
de2brown Posts: 33
in Health and Weight Loss
i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and have never told him how much i weigh. now i have been dieting and losing weight he asks me every now and then and i just make up a excuse not to tell him cos i am so embarressed. I weigh more then him and i know its just a number and it wont change anything but i am still too ashamed :( anyone else in this position?
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Replies

  • powahouse11
    powahouse11 Posts: 13
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    I was in this position a little while ago but I decided to "weigh-in" with my partner and he didn't make fun of me at all, instead he helps me workout and has helped me stay motivated.

    Your weight is just a number (like you said) but I think you will feel like something's been lifted off your shoulders if you share it with your partner! :)

    Good luck xo
  • malicent
    malicent Posts: 127
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    Just slap him when he asks, and your worries will vanish into thin air.

    I slapped my ex the first time she asked. Never asked again. ;)
  • ShayCampau
    ShayCampau Posts: 17 Member
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    Well, first off, good job on starting this journey. As for telling your man how much you weigh..... do you trust him to love you regardless of what the number says? Perhaps by telling him, he will help encourage you and cheer you on. He can help hold you accountable too. Think of all the positive things that can come from a man who loves you and wants you to be your best. If this is something that you don't think he will do or that he will make fun of you, then you need to evaluate the relationship.

    As for being embarrassed, well, here you are - what are you going to do about it? You ARE doing something so you don't have to be embarrassed for that. That is positive, good, something to brag about and feel good about. Honesty is always the way to go, so even if you don't want to tell him, explain why to him rather than put him off or ignore his request. He seems concerned about you and that can be used to help motivate you and help you. Use him to help you, he can be your biggest cheerleader. My husband is and it is such a blessing.

    Don't let the number ruin your day, look at what you are doing to live life and love where you are and what you are doing and who you are with. :)
  • ShayCampau
    ShayCampau Posts: 17 Member
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    Just slap him when he asks, and your worries will vanish into thin air.

    I slapped my ex the first time she asked. Never asked again. ;)

    Yup... why there is an ex in front of girlfriend? I'm sorry but please don't do this! I really hope you are joking and I took this wrong.
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
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    My husband and I got together when I was already on the heavier side. 3 kids later, with #4 on the way, I have no issues talking openly about my weight. Neither does he. We both realize that we need to lose weight. Today, we both made a commitment to quit our worst addictions. His, is cigarettes. Mine is Dr Pepper. I'm a huge addict (although not as bad as I used to be) and can't afford to keep spending my calories on useless crap. I'm hoping that one of these days, I can get him on here, show him it works, and get him to take this journey with me. But for right now, I'm solo. But that's ok, my kiddos keep me on my toes.
  • de2brown
    de2brown Posts: 33
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    haha i will not be slapping him :P. its not a ridiculous question to ask, especially cos i complain about my weight a lot. and now i am losing weight the topic comes up a lot. I can never imagine him laughing at me or making me feel bad about it, and he is very supportive. I have just built it up in my head as this big thing and think he will find me unattractive/un-femine or whatever once i tell him. but i will feel better once i let him in.. :)
  • small_ninja
    small_ninja Posts: 365 Member
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    My SO knows how much I weigh. He knew how much I weighed when I was on the heavier side and once decided to comment, "Oh, I'm only 10kg heavier than you!" - that hurt a little bit >.<
  • tiffanympm
    tiffanympm Posts: 62
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    I'm proud of what I've lost. My thought is that they can't judge me for something I'm not now, right???
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
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    I just told him I acted like I didn't care about it it's wa I look like that matters but I did soo much . to me women r designed to be heavier than males because there bodies are basically for giving birth. Just tell him Hun I'm sure he won't even say anything or just say I'll tell you when I'm at my goal weight if your uncomftble then don't do anything you don't want to I was lucky my boy takes the piss out of me all the time for weighing 13 stone I'm now 12 and tell him he wont be ale to when I'm 10 stone and strutting down the street and he won't like it hehe but he is so supportive I cnt do it without him x
  • purple_tux1
    purple_tux1 Posts: 250 Member
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    Well if you think that's bad, I've been with my dh 12 year and he hasn't a clue how much I weigh. I think he'd be horrified if he knew how far over 200 I am. Fortunately, he's never asked. :-)
  • purple_tux1
    purple_tux1 Posts: 250 Member
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    Just slap him when he asks, and your worries will vanish into thin air.

    I slapped my ex the first time she asked. Never asked again. ;)

    Lucky for her she's an "ex"!
  • Serenstar75
    Serenstar75 Posts: 258 Member
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    I was in this position a little while ago but I decided to "weigh-in" with my partner and he didn't make fun of me at all, instead he helps me workout and has helped me stay motivated.

    Your weight is just a number (like you said) but I think you will feel like something's been lifted off your shoulders if you share it with your partner! :)

    Good luck xo

    ^^ This.

    My boyfriend is a few inches taller than I am, but very light of build. He easily weighs 20 lbs less than I do and I've always been a solid girl. I was so embarrassed when I first weighed in with mine, especially as he was about 185 and I was 208! I'm down to 190 or so and I'm glad I told him now as I can do the little happy dance with him. He gets excited for me when I lose weight.
  • BrienBear
    BrienBear Posts: 12 Member
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    My partner and I are both aware of what the other weighs. It's no big thing to us. I'm about 5 inches shorter than him and have about 60 pds on him. But he loves me regardless of my weight.

    I do occasionally poke him in the gut though and call him chunky. :P
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    My boyfriend and most of my friends know what I weigh now, what I weighed at my heaviest, and what I'm hoping to weigh by Halloween. I've dropped over half my starting weight in total, so if anybody raises an eyebrow at my current weight I just proudly remind them that I used to be two of me.
  • monicamcisaac
    monicamcisaac Posts: 35 Member
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    some things are sacred - if you don't want to tell him then don't. Like using the toilet in front of your partner - there are just some things in life that another person doesn't need to see or hear about!
  • SpecialSundae
    SpecialSundae Posts: 795 Member
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    I think I live in happy cloud cuckoo land in that my partner knows my weight (around the same as his despite a 5" height difference) but actually cares a lot less than I do. You never know, your partner could feel the same as mine does.

    Sometimes they just want to know so they can congratulate you on reaching milestones and commiserate with your when things get tough. Any man (or woman) who judges you negatively based on a number on a scale deserves a good talking to!
  • Nekoashi
    Nekoashi Posts: 220 Member
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    If you don't wanna tell your SO, I don't think it'll ruin a relationship. My husband knows my weight and its not a big deal for me. He's been supportive of me wanting to lose weight. Occasionally he'll poke my muffin top and give me a funny look and smile. I always respond in a quiet, calm voice with: "If you want your teeth intact to eat an edible muffin top you'll kindly not poke my fat" :laugh:
  • vanillarama
    vanillarama Posts: 101 Member
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    Well, it sounds like at this point you WANT to tell him, but, understandably, you're nervous about it. I think at this point it's going to bother you until you go for it. I hope it goes well for you :)
  • Laddiegirl
    Laddiegirl Posts: 382 Member
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    My take is tell him if you're comfortable doing so, or don't if you aren't. My BF doesn't know how much I weigh, but he knows that I'm watching things, exercising and I do tell him when I do lose weight that week or my overall loss total. He's very supportive and encouraging when I need it and thats all that counts : )
  • SirKelsalot
    SirKelsalot Posts: 62
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    Seconding all the people who say it's about trust. I'm lucky to have a fiancé who I can trust with pretty much anything, including my weight. He knows I'm a good two stone heavier than him and gets updated as to every tiny movement of the scale :') It's really down to how comfortable you feel letting your SO know your weight :) Hopefully, if he's clued in, he'll support you in your endeavour and love you irrespective of the number on the scale. But if you'd rather keep it to yourself, it's entirely up to you and I'm sure he'll respect that.

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