telling your partner how much you weigh

13

Replies

  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Honestly, I think most guys don't know what an optimal range for a woman is. I don't for guys. I remember my bf being surprised when I told him how much I weighed. Don't know if that was a good thing or not, I didn't want to ask!

    But you shouldn't have to tell him! It's one of those few things in a relationship you really don't need to share.
  • Nkikia
    Nkikia Posts: 2 Member
    why r u embarrassed? it just a number. he was with u for almost 2 years so dont be ashamed...u doing well and keep it up
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My husband knows how much I weigh -- to me it's no big deal. He sees me naked, I'm not hiding anything.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    He doesn't know how much I weigh, and has never asked

    The number on the scale is only meaningful to one person on earth (you)
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
    I don't even like it that my Dr. knows what I way....and I work at a hospital so the people I work with also know.........dislike that......
  • Celestialfairie
    Celestialfairie Posts: 134
    My beau knows almost exactly where I am at, and not only because he's on MFP as well. I've always found it important to be open with these things. Not because weight matters, but because it was something I was serious about and serious about changing. And by being open with things he knew where I was, how far I've come and just how supportive to be.

    Since then (not at goal but close enough to be happy while still trying) he's seen just what I can do and wants to do the same thing. Now the roles are reversed.

    It's never easy to admit to something that's embarrassing, especially to the one you love. I want him to be so madly, truly and deeply in love with me that I hate to admit to things that can look negative. The best thing about love though? Is that the number on a scale won't matter. I'm sure he'll agree, and actually be happy that you feel comfortable enough to open up to him (if and when you do).
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and have never told him how much i weigh. now i have been dieting and losing weight he asks me every now and then and i just make up a excuse not to tell him cos i am so embarressed. I weigh more then him and i know its just a number and it wont change anything but i am still too ashamed :( anyone else in this position?

    No offense, but he already knows how big or small your body is. What he can see and feel is more important than a number, IMO.
  • Angie_1991
    Angie_1991 Posts: 447 Member
    I don't even like it that my Dr. knows what I way....and I work at a hospital so the people I work with also know.........dislike that......

    But I did post it on here somewhere...where someone asked what size and what you weigh......but no one knows me here.
  • xoTammyox
    xoTammyox Posts: 74 Member
    I don't know why it's such a big deal for some people. My husband has always known how much I weigh. Even before we were maried. No biggie for me.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Honestly, I think most guys don't know what an optimal range for a woman is. I don't for guys. I remember my bf being surprised when I told him how much I weighed. Don't know if that was a good thing or not, I didn't want to ask!

    But you shouldn't have to tell him! It's one of those few things in a relationship you really don't need to share.

    I think this is really true. My ex (who I am good friends with) once said to be he didn't think he he attracted to a girl over 150 pounds and at that moment I weighed like 152 or something. It really hurt me then, but I didn't say anything about it. 5 years later we were talking about the good old days and I told him that was probably the most hurtful thing he'd said and probably one of the main reasons I looked for an escape and he was SHOCKED that I weighed anything over 120 pounds and had me get on the scale -- I weighed 149 pounds. He about died and was really embarrassed that he'd been such a douche.
  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
    I used to feel this way and I dated this one guy who would not stop asking me how much I weighed. He was determined to find out, but it only drove me crazy and upset me. At this point in time I'm not sure if I would share the number until I get down a bit more though I'm waaaaay more comfortable with it then I used to be. Before, I wasn't working to lower it. Now, it's moving down.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    My hubby knows, but I don't care that much. If I did, my answer would be "Still more than I want to, but I've already lost X lbs!!"

    That way, he can still cheer you on your successes. :)
  • Caroline1803
    Caroline1803 Posts: 16
    My partner knows how much I weigh and he is my biggest supporter now. I had lost 4 stone when I started going out with him and after a few months he joined me on my diet and says I am his inspiration. He weighs in with me each week and keeps me going when I start to waiver x
  • lilmissymoo90
    lilmissymoo90 Posts: 324 Member
    im the opposite my partner helps me threw it and saports me every time i weigh mysef i dont look and he does and tells me if ive lost or gained lol
  • Kelsbellz
    Kelsbellz Posts: 142 Member
    No, I have never told my husband how much I weigh...it's for my eyes only. I always tell him whether things are going well or if I'm stuck and he's always supportive but I just can't bring myself to tell him that stupid number - especially the starting number.
  • texnurse
    texnurse Posts: 33 Member
    I didn't tell my fiance until I started losing the weight. We have been together for 5 years. Now he knows and also knows how much I have lost and is my biggest support.
  • her4g63
    her4g63 Posts: 284 Member
    i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and have never told him how much i weigh. now i have been dieting and losing weight he asks me every now and then and i just make up a excuse not to tell him cos i am so embarressed. I weigh more then him and i know its just a number and it wont change anything but i am still too ashamed :( anyone else in this position?

    No offense, but he already knows how big or small your body is. What he can see and feel is more important than a number, IMO.

    Truth.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    I used to feel the same way, but since I've lost weight, I tell him. He can even guess my weight within 2 pounds, which freaks me out...lol. He's very observant (and very supportive). He loves me no matter what my size is.
  • ShiloughCoy
    ShiloughCoy Posts: 73
    I told my partner and he exclaimed "That's what I SHOULD weigh! Damn!"

    Bottom line - men are not good at censoring themselves so maybe less information would be best unless you have feelings that cannot be hurt :)
  • DaivaSimone
    DaivaSimone Posts: 657 Member
    My boyfriend sees me naked every night when we go to bed and every morning when we wake up, and probably at some other time of the day when I just feel like laying on the couch in panties, when I'm coloring my hair and I don't want to stain my clothes or when I remove my workout clothes in the middle of the kitchen because it's half way between washing machine and shower. He is probably aware that I am obese (if not: hello dude, we live together for seven years now !), so what's the point about hiding my numbers ? I really don't understand that. Do you think your boyfriend will juste realize that you're heavy because you say how much you weight ?

    You know, he is probably already aware. If he loves what he see and touch every day if is life, he wont run for a number...
  • ken1994
    ken1994 Posts: 495 Member
    I think part of this weight loss experience is facing some of your fears that may have held you back over time from making the decisions you are making now, maybe this is a good fear to face! You can do this!!!
  • MorganLeighRN
    MorganLeighRN Posts: 411 Member
    I tell my husband what I weigh. I was embarrassed before I decided to loose weight. I now tell him every time I weigh myself :)
  • Cherbear67
    Cherbear67 Posts: 245 Member
    I have been on this journey for 2 years next week with a long stall in between. I have been honest right from day one with him.. He is a skinny guy and I will weight more then him..But not much longer..I have about 12 pounds to go then I will weigh the same as him.. He has been my rock through this journey...
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Well I don't know about a "boyfriend," but I am always telling my hubby about my new weight, every weigh-in. (so much so that I think he gets tired of it, but always says, "That's great, hun.")
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    My boyfriend sees me naked every night when we go to bed and every morning when we wake up, and probably at some other time of the day when I just feel like laying on the couch in panties, when I'm coloring my hair and I don't want to stain my clothes or when I remove my workout clothes in the middle of the kitchen because it's half way between washing machine and shower. He is probably aware that I am obese (if not: hello dude, we live together for seven years now !), so what's the point about hiding my numbers ? I really don't understand that. Do you think your boyfriend will juste realize that you're heavy because you say how much you weight ?

    You know, he is probably already aware. If he loves what he see and touch every day if is life, he wont run for a number...

    This is exactly it
    Knowing an arbitrary number doesn't change your perception of a person's physical characteristics
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    Just slap him when he asks, and your worries will vanish into thin air.

    I slapped my ex the first time she asked. Never asked again. ;)


    LOL!
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Don't have this problem personally... in the gay world in my area, you generally have to disclose your weight before you even give your name. Shallow shallow world...
  • jamacattack
    jamacattack Posts: 94 Member
    I've never told my SO how much I weigh... what I do tell him is, "I've lost ___ pounds!". He's never asked or cared how much I weigh either. He is skinny and I just got a couple pounds below what he weighs... proud of myself for that! :)
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I tell everyone how much I weigh... my profile says 164.2, but now I'm back to 168... why? I don't know.

    I'm 6'1" and was married to a guy who was 6'1" AND A HALF. He had to weigh himself every time I weighed myself... and he was ONLY happy if he weighed less than me.

    Hell - whatever floated his boat... I wanted to be muscular, he wanted to be skinny. :-D
  • kammie0024
    kammie0024 Posts: 2
    I weighed more than my husband for quite some time. I never told him my weight, and even after losing weight I have no intention of telling him. I'm sure my husband never thought I weighed more than him. My motto: 'Let them live with their delusions!'

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