telling your partner how much you weigh

24

Replies

  • DeathKitty23
    DeathKitty23 Posts: 64 Member
    never tell my partner and i've been with him for 5 and a half years - if im loosing weight i'll maybe tell him what ive lost but nothing else lolx
  • jfrog123
    jfrog123 Posts: 432 Member
    At one point in time I weighed more than 100 pounds more than my husband. He never asked about my weight, and I was glad. He did not know my weight for YEARS, then I lost a bunch of weight. When I got within 20 pounds of him I told him how much I weighed. He really didn't care and just said he was proud of me for losing weight. Well, I gained a bunch of weight back and stopped telling him how much I weigh again. He never asked. Last year I went through a bunch of medical crap and decided I really needed to take control of my health. I started dropping the pounds again, and once again when I got within 20 pounds of his weight I told him. I also admitted how much I had weighed at my heaviest after the regain. I have since passed him up. I weigh about 40 pounds less than him now. He never asks about my weight, but if I want to share my excitement or frustration over the latest developments on the scale, he is there to support and encourage me.

    If you don't feel comfortable at all with the idea of telling him, don't. If you think you would be more comfortable waiting and telling him after you hit a certain weight, do that. If you really would like to tell him and you trust him, but aren't sure how he will react, quit torturing yourself and tell him. You will never know until you do it.
  • GauchoMark
    GauchoMark Posts: 1,804 Member
    He sees you all the time, so it isn't like he doesn't know what you look like, right? I'm guessing that he has an idea of how much you weigh even though you don't tell him. Side note - if you ask him to tell you what he THINKS you weigh, he will probably say he has no clue! There is no right answer to that as a guy!

    This is something that is totally up to you and your relationship. Kind of like deciding when it is OK to fart in front of him for the first time... but less of a milestone!
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
    i don't tell my boyfriend how much i weigh. he thinks i weigh a lot less than i do... not sure if he's just being nice but he always throws really low #'s out when he's guessing.
  • sabolfitwife
    sabolfitwife Posts: 423 Member
    I've never told my boyfriend how much I weigh, but I've told him how much I've lost. Not because I'm embarrassed for him to know, because for once in my life I'm proud of the number, and will be even more proud as it keeps going down, but because he's never come right out and asked. The funny part? His dad knows how much I weigh. Lol.
  • Pacefit4God
    Pacefit4God Posts: 22
    do you trust him to love you regardless of what the number says? Perhaps by telling him, he will help encourage you and cheer you on. He can help hold you accountable too. Think of all the positive things that can come from a man who loves you and wants you to be your best. If this is something that you don't think he will do or that he will make fun of you, then you need to evaluate the relationship.
  • Pacefit4God
    Pacefit4God Posts: 22
    Well said
  • lelliebugh
    lelliebugh Posts: 340 Member
    I recently told my boyfriend this awful truth and to be honest he loves me just the same if not more. He knows i am insecure about that number and the fact that I shared that with him showed him how much I love and trust him. I promise telling your SO about this is not as bad as we think.I think it is mostly a mental thing.
  • tnmyers23
    tnmyers23 Posts: 108 Member
    It took over 20 years before my husband knew my weight and he just found out a week ago..
  • NJSunshine13
    NJSunshine13 Posts: 116
    The weight question has been a running joke with me and my SO for years. I'll say, I'm down a lb and he'll say so what do you weigh now? And I'll say a lb less than yesterday. I think even if I hit my goal weight, I wouldn't tell him what I weigh. He has no clue what people are suppose to weigh, how many calories they should eat or anything like that, so telling him would not help me at all. He wants me happy, but is not my cheerleader to keep me on track. If you need to be accountable to someone and that will help motivate you, then tell him. If not, then IMO there's no point.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I never told him (he never asked) until I began trying to lose weight. Even then it was odd because I weighed around 40 pounds more than him. Now we are very close in weight and he jokes about how he's able to bench my weight now that he has been lifting weights a lot more.

    No use in having secrets. Don't be embarassed.. it gives you a goal. Mine, of course, is to weigh less than him.
  • Stefanny91
    Stefanny91 Posts: 223 Member
    Snap! My bf asks me and I get really stroppy with him, I tell him he doesn't need to know, I weigh more than him, I must admit I did lie to him about a month ago and told him I weighed the same amount when in fact I was almost 10lbs heavier, so know that I've lost a bit of wieght and actually weight about the same amount he thinks I'm alot lighter ... hah :|
  • russellma
    russellma Posts: 284 Member
    Oh, I can relate!

    After my 3rd baby and enough time had passed that I should have lost most of the weight, I couldn't tell anyone my weight because I was very embarrassed.

    My husband did ask me, but I didn't tell him until I felt more comfortable with it myself. For me, it was terrible being heavier than he was. I think I just let him know that I was too embarrassed to say, and thankfully, he didn't make an issue of it.

    Maybe you can make a deal with him that will get him involved, but not shame yourself... like, I don't want to tell you until I've lost x amount of pounds, so instead of asking me my weight, ask me how many pounds I've lost. Then, you can celebrate your progress together without making yourself uncomfortable with the number on the scale.
  • Ezada
    Ezada Posts: 207 Member
    I don't know that it came up more than a couple of times. He never really asked but when I go down a few pounds I like to announce it :D.

    The one time he did ask though, I told him and he didn't believe that I was 50lbs heavier than him till I stepped on a scale. That humiliating moment is the reason I am back here. He didn't ask me to be mean at all, but I felt so ashamed that I was that much heavier than him.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Nope. I tell everyone I weigh what I weigh. I don't give a ****. I know I'm fat, they know I'm fat. I don't look like I weigh over 200 lbs though, so they're in shock when I really tell them.
  • lunnay
    lunnay Posts: 65 Member
    I didn't tell anyone how much I weighed when I started. Now that I'm seeing the weight come off, I have absolutely no problem with anyone knowing where I started, where I am, and where I'm stopping. :) It keeps me focused and accountable.
  • her4g63
    her4g63 Posts: 284 Member
    I would answer if I was asked but there'd be no way I'd go and bring it up all on my own. I'm proud of how far I've come and I love telling him when I shed the pounds though (:
  • crabbyab90
    crabbyab90 Posts: 111 Member
    My husband asks and I have always been ashamed to tell. Now that I am serious about losing weight I told him and he is hey supportive of me since he knows now.
  • squirmmonster
    squirmmonster Posts: 98 Member
    If you don't want to tell him, and he knows you're losing weight, just keep saying, "It doesn't matter, because it'll be different in a month." And then you can tell him when you hit your goal weight, if he bothers you then. I say, don't tell him if it makes you nervous, and don't bother pretending you are. Just say no.
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    i used to feel the same way when i was at my highest weight of 140. i was embarassed for my boyfriend to know my actual number and freak out. I would hide the scale so he couldnt jump on and accidently see the weigh in history. I still prefer for him not to know because i dont think men have a good understanding of what a normal weight for a women should be. I'm 126 now, and i dont think even at my goal weight i will parade my number around for him to see, but if he happens to see it, it won't bother me anymore because i feel good about my number now.
  • julieh391
    julieh391 Posts: 683 Member
    Tell him. It feels great knowing you'll never say that number again. Trust me.
  • HeinzPrincess
    HeinzPrincess Posts: 92
    1. I would tell him. It's just a number
    2. If you choose NOT to tell him, then just don't talk about it all the time. If you aren't talking about it, he (probably) will cease asking.
  • mau5chan
    mau5chan Posts: 5
    I know this feeling all too well - my boyfriend's family are genetically skinny and he can eat as much as he likes and never gain weight. He weighs... a LOT less than me. I avoid the subject wherever possible because he just doesn't have a clue - for example, I commented that I'd eaten too much and my friend said "Just throw it up." I told my bf about it and he said "Well, that's one way to do it."

    I think if your boyfriend has any common sense you've got nothing to worry about, but he's like mine, whatever number you tell him won't mean anything anyway - mine doesn't know the difference between a size 6 and a 16!
  • krumpli
    krumpli Posts: 76 Member
    I'm pretty private about my numbers. I think a lot of this comes from my feminist discomfort with the whole "beauty industrial complex." I'm not losing weight to be at a particular number, I'm losing weight to feel good about myself and be healthy again, so this focus on numbers (as useful as they are!) is just stressful to me. Still, I'm super psyched whenever I reach a new milestone! It's all a conundrum.

    Now, I don't have a significant other, but I do have dear friends and family, and I've only told two people how much I've lost/how much I weigh. I have some colleagues who have asked, and one who asks constantly, and I always sort of put them off. Or I'll say that I've lost three pant sizes, or that I've cut 4 minutes off of my mile time, or stuff like that.

    Tell if you want to, don't if you don't. It's a personal choice!
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    I talk about it openly, mainly how frustrated I have become with that number.
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
    Ok...so I have a wonderful friend who just hit Onederland this past week. She was telling me that she has never discussed her actual weight with her husband. He's been very supportive of her, but just in the dark about the actual number. When she hit it, she yelled and said that she was in Onederland. He has not had to lose weight or been on MFP to have ever picked up that term and it took him a minute to figure it out. He hugged her tight and picked her up off the ground and twirled her around! When she told me about it, a tear came to my eye. Sharing isn't so bad...
  • Turtlehurdle
    Turtlehurdle Posts: 412
    WHAT? WHy not?
    If your boyfriend has an issue with how much you weigh maybe you might want to reconsider having him as a bf
  • mazzasweet
    mazzasweet Posts: 266 Member
    He sees you all the time, so it isn't like he doesn't know what you look like, right? I'm guessing that he has an idea of how much you weigh even though you don't tell him. Side note - if you ask him to tell you what he THINKS you weigh, he will probably say he has no clue! There is no right answer to that as a guy!

    This is something that is totally up to you and your relationship. Kind of like deciding when it is OK to fart in front of him for the first time... but less of a milestone!

    LOL TOO funny! You made my day! Thanks! :-)
  • mazzasweet
    mazzasweet Posts: 266 Member
    I was with my ex for 8 years and never once ever mentioned a number. While we were together I gained 100 lbs which is probably why I didn't give details ;-) That's why he's an ex. The next one can know if he wants to. I will not be condemned by a number anymore!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I had one guy ask me on OUR FIRST DATE how much I weighed. I told him right up. But I guess I figure I'm fat and people can tell so there's no point trying to hide my actual weight?

    Anyway, with that date, he thought it was sexy??? Weird stuff. Maybe he just liked a girl who was so candid? I dunno.

    I would only tell him if you're truly comfortable doing so. Don't let anyone else influence you to do something that isn't authentically you.

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