ADVICE NEEDED--Annoying sister in law
Replies
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Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.
^^^^This totally.... Take responsibility that your kids are out of control0 -
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.
My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?0 -
Again not to offend the OP, but this is your husband's family and they have fallen on tough economic times. Your husband can talk to them about perhaps being more respectful, but maybe you should let go of the reins a bit and realize that this is your husband's sister and he loves her.0
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So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
They're not "the kids she's babysitting". They're your kids. Your kids scratched your tv. Were you paying you sis-in-law for the babysitting? Or really, did you just leave the kids with her, figuring she owed you.
You have kids. They're going to ruin stuff. That's how it works.
Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less0 -
From experience with freeloading family members...your agreeing to provide a roof for them w/ or w/o them paying is a binding contract weather written or verbal. If you chose to 'evict' them you HAVE to give them writen notice 30 days prior to said 'eviction' date. Your best bet is to mail it to them at your address with a signature confirmation so you have proof they recieved it.
Just telling them they have x amt of time to get out will not suffice they can still sue you...if they want. And never say never, family disputes get uglier than business ones!0 -
oy vey....is that spanish....if not im sure it somehows describes this topic0
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Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.
My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?
Again... YOUR child should know better. My daughter never did that.. my son is not even two yet and he knows better.. so I am not understanding how your lack of teaching them right and wrong comes down to HER fault. Sorry.0 -
Your dh has made the decision to put his sister before his wife and children. He broke his wedding vows we it comes down to it. That speaks volumes to me. I would would pack my things take the kids and leave. The way it stands he has proved that they ( his sister and family ) are more important than that his wife and kids. He has already put their needs in front of your and your kids. Just my take on things and I am kinda bit@hy that way. My dh would ( and has) tell his lazy siblings to get off their *kitten* and get 2 jobs if necessary.0
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oy vey....is that spanish....if not im sure it somehows describes this topic
No. No it's not.0 -
Basically I agree with Brett on all counts. You are just pissed that your husband made a decision without consulting you (I get the sense this isn't the only time he's done this....), and instead of confronting this situation head on, you've decided to cry to the internet, and treat your family with passive-agressive matyrdom.
Stand tall, take responsibility for your fault in the situation, and ask for an amicable resolution between you and your husband. Hopefully you haven't damaged your relationship so much in this that it doesn't all work out in the end.0 -
Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.
STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....
Wait.. no they're not. :noway:
Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt
tLOL, Bring it.
BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.0 -
Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less
Ok. But still your kids ruined your tv. It happens. Next time you don't pay her to babysit as she didn't do as good a job as you wanted. But you can't pretend she owes you a new tv.
Your children are always your responsibility. Period.0 -
Hey, my own brother kicked me out when I had over stayed my welcome- his wife and kids were being affected by me being there. Our brotherly relationship has never changed we are still very close. My thought is, if my own brother can kick me out then you can kick your sister-n-law and brother-in-law out. You have to fend for yourself and ask yourself is this something I can live with or not? If you can, then its not worth risking your marriage to have them there. OUT THEY GO. ! you will only continue to fight which will lead to anger on all sides and will put your marriage at risk.0
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Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.
STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....
Wait.. no they're not. :noway:
Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt
tLOL, Bring it.
BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.
Then you should have said this is "our" culture. Less bigot-like sounding, ya know.0 -
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.
My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?
But the situation is not switched... take responsibility for what happened... wait till she is 16 and backs into another car, rear ends someone, or just hits a pothole.... are you going to wig out then too... how about you just make her get a job now or even better just kick her out!0 -
Being a man I hate suggesting this as a possible solution ......try withholding the nookie claiming you are not comfortable with other people in the house.....they should be out within a month0
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So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
They're not "the kids she's babysitting". They're your kids. Your kids scratched your tv. Were you paying you sis-in-law for the babysitting? Or really, did you just leave the kids with her, figuring she owed you.
You have kids. They're going to ruin stuff. That's how it works.
Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less
Then she has shown she is an irresponsible sitter. Go back to your old one.
I have to agree about raising the rent and hiring a cleaning lady. Or telling HER to get a baby sitter and go back to work.0 -
Actually if the tables were turned, HER child would have scratched up HER tv, so I don't really see your point.My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?0 -
Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.
STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....
Wait.. no they're not. :noway:
Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt
tLOL, Bring it.
BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.
Oh, so based on your experience every Spanish or Italian family behaves as yours?
Accusations weren't made, but I'm glad you realize how you came off.
Also, saying that is like saying "Oh, I can totally say that - I have a gay/black/asian/antartican friend - it's totally cool!"0 -
Basically I agree with Brett on all counts. You are just pissed that your husband made a decision without consulting you (I get the sense this isn't the only time he's done this....), and instead of confronting this situation head on, you've decided to cry to the internet, and treat your family with passive-agressive matyrdom.
Stand tall, take responsibility for your fault in the situation, and ask for an amicable resolution between you and your husband. Hopefully you haven't damaged your relationship so much in this that it doesn't all work out in the end.
Would you not be upset if your kids got kicked out of their room so that your pregnant sister n law could have a room to sleep in? If I'm ranting here its because I'm trying to get rational people that maybe have been in this situation to give me sound advise because I don't want to cause a rift between siblings, but at this point they both need to realize the issue here.0 -
Saying awful things about your own culture doesn't make it ok.
Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.
STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....
Wait.. no they're not. :noway:
Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt
tLOL, Bring it.
BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.0 -
Frankly, I would not allow that to happen to my children.Would you not be upset if your kids got kicked out of their room so that your pregnant sister n law could have a room to sleep in?0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
that's funny. she only speaks Spanish. But dang, if you were her, then I'd be done with this all
Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture. You better be glad he is not Italian, you would have his mother there telling you what a terrible job you are doing raising her grandchildren.
Raise their rent enough to cover a maid, then offer to take the $ off her rent if she cleans the house. Win/Win.
¿Qué pasa con las familias españolas / latino?
Por qué sí, de Puerto Rico en realidad
Which doesn't make you an expert on everyone else's family.0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
that's funny. she only speaks Spanish. But dang, if you were her, then I'd be done with this all
Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture. You better be glad he is not Italian, you would have his mother there telling you what a terrible job you are doing raising her grandchildren.
Raise their rent enough to cover a maid, then offer to take the $ off her rent if she cleans the house. Win/Win.
Wow? Care to take a third swipe, I have one more ethnicity you missed, peach. Tell us alllll you know about Germans.tLOL, Bring it.
BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.
I think you brought enough for everyone, toots.0 -
Do I have any grounds to ask her to go back to work?? She'll just say I have no place in deciding that0
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Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.
My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?
Again... YOUR child should know better. My daughter never did that.. my son is not even two yet and he knows better.. so I am not understanding how your lack of teaching them right and wrong comes down to HER fault. Sorry.
Right! My daughter is 2 and she knows she is not to touch the TV. But if I had a babysitter over to my house and she did damage something...that is part of having a kid...I wouldn't expect the babysitter to cover it.
I really don't understand your logic here. :noway:0 -
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Frankly, I would not allow that to happen to my children.Would you not be upset if your kids got kicked out of their room so that your pregnant sister n law could have a room to sleep in?
Now, after the fact, I sooooo regret that. I should have put my foot down then
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No, you really don't have the right to tell her how to live her life. You have the right to say whether she stays in your home and how much rent she pays. Not where she gets the money.Do I have any grounds to ask her to go back to work?? She'll just say I have no place in deciding that0 -
Is it wrong (since they're paying rent too) for me to set a time that everyone has to be "quiet"? Not necessarily sleep but just be quiet. I'm sure they wouldn't be happy if my kids didn't let them sleep.
I pay rent, likely a helluva lot more than they're paying, and my apartment complex has a 10 pm curfew.0
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