ADVICE NEEDED--Annoying sister in law

PittShkr

Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example

Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?

I'm on your side less and less in this.

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.

^^^^This totally.... Take responsibility that your kids are out of control

The_New_Christina

Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example

Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?

I'm on your side less and less in this.

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.

My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?

takingnameskickingbutt

Again not to offend the OP, but this is your husband's family and they have fallen on tough economic times. Your husband can talk to them about perhaps being more respectful, but maybe you should let go of the reins a bit and realize that this is your husband's sister and he loves her.

The_New_Christina

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

They're not "the kids she's babysitting". They're your kids. Your kids scratched your tv. Were you paying you sis-in-law for the babysitting? Or really, did you just leave the kids with her, figuring she owed you.

You have kids. They're going to ruin stuff. That's how it works.

Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less

k8dagr8

From experience with freeloading family members...your agreeing to provide a roof for them w/ or w/o them paying is a binding contract weather written or verbal. If you chose to 'evict' them you HAVE to give them writen notice 30 days prior to said 'eviction' date. Your best bet is to mail it to them at your address with a signature confirmation so you have proof they recieved it.
Just telling them they have x amt of time to get out will not suffice they can still sue you...if they want. And never say never, family disputes get uglier than business ones!

ILoveTheBrowns

oy vey....is that spanish....if not im sure it somehows describes this topic

p0pr0cksnc0ke

Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example

Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?

I'm on your side less and less in this.

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.

My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?

Again... YOUR child should know better. My daughter never did that.. my son is not even two yet and he knows better.. so I am not understanding how your lack of teaching them right and wrong comes down to HER fault. Sorry.

samf36

Your dh has made the decision to put his sister before his wife and children. He broke his wedding vows we it comes down to it. That speaks volumes to me. I would would pack my things take the kids and leave. The way it stands he has proved that they ( his sister and family ) are more important than that his wife and kids. He has already put their needs in front of your and your kids. Just my take on things and I am kinda bit@hy that way. My dh would ( and has) tell his lazy siblings to get off their *kitten* and get 2 jobs if necessary.

scs143

oy vey....is that spanish....if not im sure it somehows describes this topic

No. No it's not.

infamousmk

Basically I agree with Brett on all counts. You are just pissed that your husband made a decision without consulting you (I get the sense this isn't the only time he's done this....), and instead of confronting this situation head on, you've decided to cry to the internet, and treat your family with passive-agressive matyrdom.


Stand tall, take responsibility for your fault in the situation, and ask for an amicable resolution between you and your husband. Hopefully you haven't damaged your relationship so much in this that it doesn't all work out in the end.

Lesa_Sass

Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.

STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....

Wait.. no they're not. :noway:

Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt

tLOL, Bring it.

BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.

BrettPGH

Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less

Ok. But still your kids ruined your tv. It happens. Next time you don't pay her to babysit as she didn't do as good a job as you wanted. But you can't pretend she owes you a new tv.

Your children are always your responsibility. Period.

TexasTroy

Hey, my own brother kicked me out when I had over stayed my welcome- his wife and kids were being affected by me being there. Our brotherly relationship has never changed we are still very close. My thought is, if my own brother can kick me out then you can kick your sister-n-law and brother-in-law out. You have to fend for yourself and ask yourself is this something I can live with or not? If you can, then its not worth risking your marriage to have them there. OUT THEY GO. ! you will only continue to fight which will lead to anger on all sides and will put your marriage at risk.

scs143

Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.

STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....

Wait.. no they're not. :noway:

Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt

tLOL, Bring it.

BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.

Then you should have said this is "our" culture. Less bigot-like sounding, ya know.

PittShkr

Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example

Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?

I'm on your side less and less in this.

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.

My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?

But the situation is not switched... take responsibility for what happened... wait till she is 16 and backs into another car, rear ends someone, or just hits a pothole.... are you going to wig out then too... how about you just make her get a job now or even better just kick her out!

FabMrFox

Being a man I hate suggesting this as a possible solution ......try withholding the nookie claiming you are not comfortable with other people in the house.....they should be out within a month

Crochetluvr

So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????

They're not "the kids she's babysitting". They're your kids. Your kids scratched your tv. Were you paying you sis-in-law for the babysitting? Or really, did you just leave the kids with her, figuring she owed you.

You have kids. They're going to ruin stuff. That's how it works.

Um, yes I did pay her. Exactly the same amount I was paying my prior babysitter. Not one cent less

Then she has shown she is an irresponsible sitter. Go back to your old one.

I have to agree about raising the rent and hiring a cleaning lady. Or telling HER to get a baby sitter and go back to work.

Ruthe8

My daughter is 2. She hasn't learned all right from wrong, but if the tables were turned and my daughter scratched up her tv, you don't think she'd be pissed at me?

Actually if the tables were turned, HER child would have scratched up HER tv, so I don't really see your point.

_skittybang

Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.

STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....

Wait.. no they're not. :noway:

Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt

tLOL, Bring it.

BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.

Oh, so based on your experience every Spanish or Italian family behaves as yours?

Accusations weren't made, but I'm glad you realize how you came off.

Also, saying that is like saying "Oh, I can totally say that - I have a gay/black/asian/antartican friend - it's totally cool!"

The_New_Christina

Basically I agree with Brett on all counts. You are just pissed that your husband made a decision without consulting you (I get the sense this isn't the only time he's done this....), and instead of confronting this situation head on, you've decided to cry to the internet, and treat your family with passive-agressive matyrdom.


Stand tall, take responsibility for your fault in the situation, and ask for an amicable resolution between you and your husband. Hopefully you haven't damaged your relationship so much in this that it doesn't all work out in the end.

Would you not be upset if your kids got kicked out of their room so that your pregnant sister n law could have a room to sleep in? If I'm ranting here its because I'm trying to get rational people that maybe have been in this situation to give me sound advise because I don't want to cause a rift between siblings, but at this point they both need to realize the issue here.