Can fat people find love?

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  • I_wanna_live
    I_wanna_live Posts: 227 Member
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    No, I haven't found it.... Though I haven't found my left sock yet ether, doesn't mean it isn't there.... and I am sure the moment I stop looking, it will be found. But, at the time I have nothing better to do than look for that darn sock. :P

    Moral of the story, People are in a rush to "find" stuff. And often the thing we are trying to find, and spend a lifetime trying to find the one thing, but it can't be found. At least, not until we change our own perspective.

    It isn't a matter of finding something else, but creating what you are. And, knowing the outcome, no matter what it is, will be perfect. Because, it is your creation
  • gddrdld
    gddrdld Posts: 464 Member
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    this woman...

    347449-christina-hendricks-150.jpg

    is married to this man...

    19641616.jpg

    if that doesn't prove that love and attraction goes a lot deeper than just looks, what does?

    How does that prove anything? Am I missing the point of this post??
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    I used to be pretty optimistic but @ age 39 (almost 40)...... not so hopeful for it anymore. Ready to get a couple more cats and settle for being the crazy cat lady upstairs.

    I have a cat and a dog and I'll be your downstairs neighbor :)

    :laugh:

    PS And it's nothing to do with my weight, I literally have friends twice my size who have boyfriends and husbands...in my case I really do think it's lack of confidence/self-esteem, even though I am now at a healthy weight.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Have confidence love will find you!
  • SeamsSewWright
    SeamsSewWright Posts: 41
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    Set a small goal and work towards it. Once that's achieved, set another goal and work towards it. See where I'm going? Take steps towards achieving what you want. Those small successes can and will grow into a big one, and that is something that you can be proud of and find confidence in.

    Love yourself first. Cause right now, even if love found you, you may not recognize it.
  • NaughtyForties
    NaughtyForties Posts: 69
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    Gosh girl you are gorgeous! Heck Im 40 and still looking for love... Ive always picked the wrong man and settled.. this time around I wont settle.. I know hes out there... Im far from skinny and have a long way to go... but I learned theres more to me than my weight....and if a guy cant see me for the beauty inside then **** him!

    Never give up and always believe in yourself!! You are young and have so much to look forward to :)

    Great response and so true - I couldn't say it better myself!
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    my dear, if a man only wants your body, what do you think will happen when you start aging? yes, for most appearances are the first thing we notice, but if it's all physical, it's not gonna last. wait for someone to love who you are and not what you look like. there are men out there who just want a real woman to love and care for and who will love and care for them. :) Focus on who you want to be. not on what they want you to be.
  • papillontx
    papillontx Posts: 3
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    I have also experienced this exact same feeling..finally about 4 years ago I had a soul searching moment that opened my eyes to loving who i am! I am still struggling with my weight issues but 2 1/2 years ago i found the love of my life! He is about 160 lbs soakin wet and i am well over 200... he looks at me like i am perfect! It only took 28 years to get to the happiest i have ever felt :)

    You are beautiful on the outside and can only imagine all that you have just glowing inside! Love yourself first! Once you find truly who you are and what you want in life you will find that angel that will just make you feel like you are on cloud 9.. no matter what you look like!

    I understand people can say all of this to you but when you are ready with your heart, mind and soul then that is the true time for you to grow into that Butterfly that you are hiding....

    If you want to talk more please friend me!

    peace and love
  • mylove0mylife
    mylove0mylife Posts: 70
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    You can find love, you just have to wait to find it. It's not impossible though. I found the man of my dreams and got married around my highest weight of 248 it's possible. Personally I'd rather find a man that loves me while I'm overweight so I know they deserve me when I lose it all and have my dream body.
  • hope8311
    hope8311 Posts: 166
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    If a man only accepts you for your body or weight, then he is not worth keeping....I felt insecure my entire life....I weighed 180 tops....I worked my butt off and lost weight, and still was insecure...I started dating and realized when I gained weight my bf would make jokes or comments...I broke up over time....I gained weight back and was asked out by my now husband. Who told me he loved my personality and the way I was...And he would love me to be healthy....But it was my choice....Hes never put me down for weight I gained or lost......HE is a true man......And I am now 26 so ladies......I would say you guys are young 20 focus on school, and yourselves....I regret always post poning my education for a guy....And my insecurities.... Any man loves a confident woman.....And you look really pretty....YOu need to look in the mirror and realize you are gorgeoues and accept that.....
  • RunningOnPurple
    RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
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    Let me share a secret with you. About 10 years ago I lost a bunch of weight and was at my lowest adult weight ever. You want to know what I discovered? I was the SAME person inside, only the size of my clothes had changed. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that people treated me the same, because they didn't. But I was still the same old me. So, while I realize that we are all on this journey to lose weight, it doesn't mean that weight loss is going to instantly turn you into a lovable person if you weren't one before. So, yes, as everyone else has said, love yourself now.

    Also, to directly answer your question, YES, OF COURSE FAT PEOPLE CAN FIND LOVE!!! I met my late boyfriend when I weighed about 275 (I weigh more now) and he weighed much more than I did. But I will tell you there will never be a sweeter and kinder and more wonderful (and sexy) man to walk this earth than he was. There is so, so much more to love than appearances.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you like. And be kind to yourself. :)
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    First of all, you are very pretty. I really hope that one day you can look in the mirror and say "oh snap she was right!!"

    As far as trying to lose and failing, we have ALL (or at least me...) been there. The best advice I can give is to start slowwww. I used to have a donut every morning. I decided to cut down to every other morning. Then eventually just on Fridays. I haven't had a donut in about 2 months. Then I tackled lunch. I started bringing lunch to work instead of buying it out. Then when you've got that down, tackle dinner. Then snacks/desserts.

    Every day won't be perfect. But if you take it one day at a time and make small changes, it will build and build and then all these new habits will be created and you will forget about the old ones. The beginning is the HARDEST part. I am 5 months in and it's so easy to be healthy and make good choices because I do it so often now. I promise promise promise! I slip up every now and then but it doesn't affect my weight loss because I quickly get right back on the saddle.

    I know this is really hard. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's worth it. You are worth it. You will find love when you can learn to love yourself. I know that you want to love yourself, so let go and do it!
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    Love isn't about a size or a number on the scale. I think the biggest issue you are having is your low self esteem. We are our own worst critics, but how is anybody else going to truly love you if you can't love yourself? Try to do some soul-searching and find out who you really are (what you truly like to do, what your passions are, etc) and try to be more involved with other people that share the same passions and you are more likely to find someone that you're compatible with. You are awesome, you just need to convince yourself of that and everyone else will realize it too!


    TOTALLY TRUE
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
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    No, only thin people are worthy of being loved. Fat people should focus on losing weight and never look for someone to share their life with. No one needs fat people acceptance.

    Thanks for asking this question though. There seems to be a lot of fat lovers and chubby chasers out there, so it is important to know that this is not love. It is only a way to exploit the fat and vulnerable.

    I am so glad that I am fat and unloved. Love would just complicate my diet plan.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Confidence is sexy. Find something you love about yourself and embrace it. This may sound cliche, but coming from a big girl right here who has someone that loves and sees past/through the imperfections, it's about loving yourself first.


    ^ This too! :drinker:
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    this woman...

    347449-christina-hendricks-150.jpg

    is married to this man...

    19641616.jpg

    if that doesn't prove that love and attraction goes a lot deeper than just looks, what does?

    Agreed, a good look'n fella like him........you know he loved her starting inside out!

    Seriously, Love is an emotion. Weight is a physical attribute. Being heavy can affect your confidence, so it may seem like your unlovable, but that's nonsense! I think the faster you start feeling better about who you are(the person within/spirit, ect), rather than what you look like, the more you'll feel like it's just a matter of time. Continue your struggle to weight lose, that sure won't hurt anything!
  • WhitneyT586
    WhitneyT586 Posts: 279 Member
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    You are 20 years old! You have plenty of time and you will have plenty of chances. You'll find the ones that you think are THE ONE and then you'll find THE ONE AND ONLY. And all the heartache will be worth it because that person will be perfect for you. Hang in there. Know yourself and be able to love yourself first.

    I can say this because I've been there. I'm still looking but I had a great guy who enjoyed my company at my heaviest. Distance put a stop to that relationship, but I have faith that the confidence I'm gaining and the knowledge of myself that I'm gaining now will help me find the one man who is right for me. I'm just not ready yet but one day I will be.

    I wish you luck. Don't ever give up on yourself. You are worth so much more.
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    My hunny and I found love and we were both overweight. We still are but we're working on it together now. You know what? I'm glad I found him when I was at my heaviest. Because I know he fell in love with the real me inside for who i am. He is my greatest supporter and cheerleader but I know if I never lose another pound or if I gained the pounds back, he would be by my side unconditionally. He finds me beautiful and sexy inside and out and he is wonderful to me. He deserves a hot wife so I'm working hard to lose this weight for both of us. I wanna be a slimmer sexier bride when we get married next summer. We're both gonna be smokin' hot by then!

    You'll find someone. I never thought I would but I did. And I met him through a plus size dating website.
  • kaisawheel
    kaisawheel Posts: 15 Member
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    I found love while I was (still am) fat. He's not fat. He doesn't care. He's supportive of my weight loss because it will make happy and healthier, but it was a non issue for him.

    It's nice to know that when I'm at a healthy weight, I'll still know that he loved me for who I am.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    you should use this as motivation to lose weight. you will find it a lot easier to date and to date the kind of guys you like if you lose weight.

    as for worrying if you will be attractive once you've lost the weight its almost impossilbe to be unattractive if you are fit.

    so...join a gym and start doing some serious weight lifting along with some serious cardio and figure out what your caloric input should be and count every single calorie you eat until you reach your goal.

    give up all the snacks and treats that you like and start eating healthy. it sucks at first but you get used to it and wouldnt you rather be fit and and enjoying life instead of eating junk?

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