husband hasn't noticed.

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Replies

  • BogQueen1
    BogQueen1 Posts: 320 Member
    I'm not going to lie, there have been times before when I tried to lose weight, I'd lose a little bit, then a weekend would be my undoing and I'd be right back where I started (I seriously think I lost the same 60 pounds, 5 pounds at a time, 12 different times). My finace, knowing I had been trying, would in a moment of consoling me about my size, or the fact that nothing I had in my closet fit anymore, would say 'but honey you are losing weight'. Rather owie to know that the person you love most believes in your abilities, even while you are failing miserably. And not at all motivating.
  • dane11235813
    dane11235813 Posts: 682 Member
    he's an extraordinary person

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS).

    these two statements don't really go together do they?!?!
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Just break up!
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    None of us know your husband like you. Has he always been this way? If so, maybe you should snuggle up with him in bed and softly puppishly let him know you've lost weight. Then maybe ask him if he like's it, rather then asking him if's he's noticed. Sometimes guys need confirmation it's alright to say something. Could be a lot of things, I think you know best!
  • lveh8lve
    lveh8lve Posts: 162 Member
    I work with all men. Last year I put bright pink hair extensions in my hair. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING!!!! They were seriously bright and out there too. Sometimes men miss what is right in front of them.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    I hear ya! I'm in the same situation with my bf. I started working out and eating healthy in May and have lost 26 lbs so far. Not a word. Then today he said something about me working out for a month....that would be 5 months, my love. Luckily he is a great guy so I can live with it and besides, I'm doing it for me and not him anyway.

    Then today he said something about me working out for a month....that would be 5 months, my love. Luckily he is a great guy so I can live with it and besides- LOL, that's still awesome, and give him a break, he noticed.....just lost track of time!
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    Just break up!

    your horrible, there married!
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,722 Member
    #1: Guys are clueless ;) (No offense) but they are. If you don't tell them you are trying to "get healthy" they might not have gotten the hint lol.

    #2: My husband loves my figure right now that I've dropped 20 pounds... I know because he's ummm been pretty frisky! ;)
  • spippin73
    spippin73 Posts: 60
    Bring it to his attention. Sometimes men have to be knocked in the head...it is football season after all.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    #1: Guys are clueless ;) (No offense) but they are. If you don't tell them you are trying to "get healthy" they might not have gotten the hint lol.

    #2: My husband loves my figure right now that I've dropped 20 pounds... I know because he's ummm been pretty frisky! ;)

    I was going to agree with #1 but was sidetracked by the Frisky #2 comment
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    Ask if your butt looks big in those old pants.

    As mentioned before, he probably sees you every day. Pending how you looked then and now, it could subtle in his mind. It's a natural occurrence for anyone losing weight to not see the change. And if you are like most, you're wearing clothes that fit you better...thus...re-read my first statement
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
    he's an extraordinary person

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS).

    these two statements don't really go together do they?!?!

    I agree - if he hasn't complimented you in years on your appearance that's very troublesome.
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    I've recently passed the 30 pounds down mile stone, I was so excited as soon as I saw my S.O. that day I told him with a huge grin on my face. I looked me up and down and in a totally serious said, "From where?"

    -facepalm-

    This happened to me once, over a 25# loss...I just took it that he cared about me no matter "how I looked"
  • MILFdoesabodyGd
    MILFdoesabodyGd Posts: 347 Member
    guys are seriously clueless!!!
    ever since I was young I was told you gotta club 'em over the head to get your point across!!

    I've been keeping my guy updated on my lbs lost. Usually he says something like "nice!!" when I tell him I weighed ___ today.

    This past week I told him, after losing two lbs, "hey I weighed 141 today" and he said "did you gain weight??"

    I bit my tongue because as I said, they're clueless....but I wanted to say ummm does it look like I gained weight?! lol
  • sexyrosey
    sexyrosey Posts: 137
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.
    Lmao it's like he knows me :laugh:
  • amsohs85
    amsohs85 Posts: 166
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.

    Very true...and unfortunately ladies many of us have created a no win situation for our men. They comment we take it wrong....they dont we take it wrong!! Also maybe in the OP's case the husband isnt hyper-focused on looks to begin with. Alot of spouses get comfortable with the physical changes that have occured over the years and it just doesnt register with them. It's also possible that if the weight loss is all over and you continue to wear the same baggy clothes other people wont notice as quickly.
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    Just break up!

    your horrible, there married!

    Oh my bad.

    Just get divorced.
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    guys are seriously clueless!!!
    ever since I was young I was told you gotta club 'em over the head to get your point across!!

    I've been keeping my guy updated on my lbs lost. Usually he says something like "nice!!" when I tell him I weighed ___ today.

    This past week I told him, after losing two lbs, "hey I weighed 141 today" and he said "did you gain weight??"

    I bit my tongue because as I said, they're clueless....but I wanted to say ummm does it look like I gained weight?! lol

    lol@females thinking we are clueless

    Review my example, and retract your statement.

    :)
  • nbeth90
    nbeth90 Posts: 5
    I suggest telling him how you feel. Maybe he has noticed but he's afraid if he comments that you will take it the wrong way. Or maybe since he sees you every day it's kind of gone over his head. Or maybe he's a total doucher, I don't know!

    Better to talk about it with him than to stew!


    I agree with this suggestion 100% Not communicating can make this far worse sugar!
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    I've recently passed the 30 pounds down mile stone, I was so excited as soon as I saw my S.O. that day I told him with a huge grin on my face. I looked me up and down and in a totally serious said, "From where?"

    -facepalm-

    This happened to me once, over a 25# loss...I just took it that he cared about me no matter "how I looked"

    -grumble grumble grumble- :grumble:
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
    I don't really know what to add that will help but....

    My husband tells me I'm beautiful and sexy but has never acknowledged the weight loss factor. He is overweight at over 300 lbs. That may have something to do with it. It may also be that he doesn't want to make me feel less than because I was fat before.

    Let it go. He notices...unless he's blind. Take the co workers comments and friends acknowledgements and be happy.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    If he's like my husband then maybe he's scared to comment on your weight. Some guys think that a woman's age and weight are off limits, often because they mistakenly offended someone.

    This is also true, sometimes when a man would say something like

    "Wow you have really slimmed down!"

    Emotional women translate that as:

    "OMG you were so fat before"

    When that is not what we said at all.

    This x100000^^^

    I can't give my wife ANY compliments at all because they are all taken as:

    "So apparently I was TOO fat before huh!?"
    "You're just saying that because you have to"
    "So what I don't look good any other time?!"
    "NO, I HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT!"

    I could probably come up with 100 more examples, but this is already draining enough LOL.
  • anaboneana
    anaboneana Posts: 195 Member
    he has noticed. and he's just quietly encouraging you. think of it like this: would you rather have him say "oh great honey, you're not fat anymore!" take it easy on the poor guy. lol
  • this1bigdog
    this1bigdog Posts: 350 Member
    also if the people know at work you trying to lose weight they might be throwing you a bone . .that's what I figured peresonally . .my goal was to ignore those who told me at 1st and didn't believe them till I was around 50 lbs . so make it a goal for him to finally notice! keep up the good work! For me it was 50 lbs for the people who didn't know me to say something . .
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    if it makes you feel better you hubby looks like a dork ...... maybe a pocket protector would turn him on
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    hello fellow MFPs.

    I need to rant for a minute. I've been working out the last few months, lost a total of 25 pounds and my husband has said NOTHING. my coworkers comment, but zilch from the man. he's an extraordinary person, a great father, but really... can't he just say something nice and encouraging?

    I can't remember the last time he told me I was pretty or that I looked nice (we are talking YEARS). My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    thank you for listening to my rant.

    Eh, men are thick. Tell him how you feel in lingere, dudes love lingere!
  • AZiegenhorn
    AZiegenhorn Posts: 19 Member
    My clothes are hanging off my body . . . .

    Maybe he can see something has changed . . . but the clothes are frumping it up? Go get a new outfit that shows off your new figure and see what happens. ;-)
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    My Hubby ALWAYS notices and compliments me. Maybe yours keeps wanting to comment, but is constantly distracted? I don't know, but if you dance around in your undies in front of him, he might pick up? :flowerforyou:
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    2 Things:

    I don't know the weight of your husband, but if he overweight himself, acknowledging your success would also acknowledge his failure.

    He sees you everyday, sometimes it is so subtle that it is hard to tell.
    Exactly!! What he said.


    My bf just the other night came home and out of nowhere was like "wow, you look great!" Quickly after he made some statement about how hard it is to tell when someone close to loses weight because it's so gradual and you really don't think about it. I believe that was his way of telling me- "sorry for not noticing sooner" :) Either way- I did have on a cute dress that I haven't worn for months-due to my weight. Do you have something he used to really like you in- that you haven't worn??? If not, buy something that fits and forces him to notice :)
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I second the "he sees you everyday" response.

    I know 25lbs is a fair amount, but if it was lost quite slowly I can understand that he may not notice as easily as others do who don't see you as often. When I lived at home my mum would sometimes say "do I look like I've lost weight to you" and I used to be honest and say that I can't tell (better than lying, right?) but I would try and reassure her that if I hadn't seen her in a while, that I'd probably notice a difference.
    Since moving out, I can now tell quite easily when she loses weight.

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