husband hasn't noticed.

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  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
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    I've lost almost 30 lbs since July and the most acknowledgment I've gotten from my husband so far is that he grabs my *kitten* more. He's not a very talkative person anyway, so it doesn't bother me.

    But as other people have mentioned maybe he doesn't know how to say something without offending you or maybe he's worried a "new you" means you'll be looking for a "new him".

    Or he just genuinely hasn't noticed, he is male isn't he???

    Maybe walking around the house in your underwear might get some attention from him? It works for me, :wink:
  • gabriellejayde
    gabriellejayde Posts: 607 Member
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    I have a good friend who is short (under 5' i think) and was a little over 200. I see her once a week or so. A few weeks ago, I complimented her shirt and she said, "I've lost 30 lbs... didn't you notice???"
    well... no. I think she's cute nomatter what she weighs. I really didn't see it but after she said it, I thought... Oh.. right. you used to be heavier I guess.

    My own husband looks the same to me at 230 as he does at 210. I really can NOT see a difference. I'm pretty sure he'd have to gain or lose 50 or more before I could tell because he always looks fine to me and I see him every day.

    Don't sweat it- just tell him you'd like a compliment once in a while.
  • neasha27
    neasha27 Posts: 18
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    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    :heart:
  • jdrapersr
    jdrapersr Posts: 10 Member
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    Why don't you say I need some new cloths and I want us to go on a shoping date. Try on a lot of cloths that will fit and flatter you and then get one that's a little sexy and ask him what ones do you think I should get. My wife and I do this a lot and people will say how good she looks and she'll say that's the one Jack picked out for me :) Now her friends ask her if I can go shopping with them so get him involved and he'll come around and want to show you off....Good Luck
  • jesse1379
    jesse1379 Posts: 239 Member
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    He probably feels threatened by your new found confidence and looks. Trust me when I say that he has noticed. Not acknowledging your weight loss is his way of playing a reverse psychology mind game to keep you in line lol.
  • staceyodell
    staceyodell Posts: 4
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    Have you dressed in a way that shows that you have lost 25lbs or are you wearing frumpy clothes? You might try having a sexy night and wear some lingere or something. Sometimes, you have to force their hand to get a compliment! Good luck!
  • bricktowngal
    bricktowngal Posts: 206
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    I understand how you feel, my husband hasn't said much in the way of my weight loss either. But he is the type of guy who loves me no matter how I look. Maybe that's how your husband feels.
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    I decided to let go of my irritation in my husband for not saying anything/much about my 43 pound loss when I realized he had also said nothing about my 80 lb. weight gain since we got married. Love that man!! :happy:

    This is awesome...my husband is very encouraging and he never complained even when I was at my heaviest. My M-I-L lost 25 lbs and I didn't notice and I see her everyday. I suggest mentioning it to him as well.
  • cindyhoney2
    cindyhoney2 Posts: 603 Member
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    Why don't you say I need some new cloths and I want us to go on a shoping date. Try on a lot of cloths that will fit and flatter you and then get one that's a little sexy and ask him what ones do you think I should get. My wife and I do this a lot and people will say how good she looks and she'll say that's the one Jack picked out for me :) Now her friends ask her if I can go shopping with them so get him involved and he'll come around and want to show you off....Good Luck

    YOU my friend...ROCK!
  • TraciStivers
    TraciStivers Posts: 116 Member
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    My mom was really discouraged when people she saw everyday didn't notice her weightloss. They probably won't until its a really large loss but the people you see only once a month, even once a week, they will notice. Remember who you're doing this for too. This is for a healthier you :) Keep pushing through and look for encouragement on here. Sometimes people that aren't trying to lose weight just don't "get it".

    Great job on your loss by the way! That is something to be very proud of.

    She's absolutely right, if you aren't trying to lose weight then you have no understanding of how hard it is for the rest of us. I am counting every calorie but my husband thinks nothing of stopping at the McDonald's drive thru on the way home from soccer games! I order a parfait ( and then stress over what I am going to do to burn those few calories) and he orders a big mac, fries and large soda.

    Another thing, my husband adores me whether I weigh 120 or 220, but he would never say anything either way. He;s just afraid to be taken the wrong way.
  • EvictingTheMassInMyAss
    EvictingTheMassInMyAss Posts: 21 Member
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    His not saying anything.....is actually shouting VOLUMES...His silence means.... "I love you no matter WHAT size you are!"
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    He's a smart man, to be honest. Most men seem to KNOW that you should never ever comment on a woman's weight. He otherwise runs the risk of telling you that you look like you lost weight and it being taken as "jesus christ you were large before". I asked my boyfriend questions like "do my arms look better?" and he refuses to answer because he thinks I will take it as him saying I looked horrible beforehand. All he will say is "you look great regardless, but I can definitely see a difference".

    Mention it to him and I'm sure he will tell you that he actually has noticed, he is just trying to not offend you!
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 7,975 Member
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    Years ago, I dieted and lost 30 pounds, and my husband didn't notice. I was getting compliments from everyone, and my husband didn't notice. One day I said something about losing 30 pounds, and he said, "No way you've lost 30 pounds!" I was so hurt and mad that I immediately quit the diet and started eating. I gained it all back plus a whole lot more.

    Moral of the story -- Just because your husband is a jerk (my husband is a wonderful guy, too, but he is a guy, so being a jerk happens, lol), don't be an idiot like I was.

    By the way, this time he is noticing big time although he suggested I keep my fat clothes (That little bit of jerkiness just fueled my determination)!

    Good luck with your continued success! :flowerforyou:
  • jerman01
    jerman01 Posts: 34 Member
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    That's a good point. But, losing a lot of weight should be a big deal and he should say nice job. Something....
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,312 Member
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    go shopping, buy a tight fitting shirt and some new jeans. If he doesn't notice....then I don't know what to tell you.
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
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    Go buy new clothes that fit, he will notice!
  • swaymyway
    swaymyway Posts: 428 Member
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    I don't know what 25lbs means for you in terms of percentage as I don't know your starting weight, but if you have a lot to lose, even though 25lbs is a lot, if it's only 15% of what you plan to lose then it really won't be noticable. Also as others have pointed out if you are still wearing your old clothes and they are baggy on you it's even harder to notice.

    Basically as everyone else has said there are many reasons he may not have noticed, or may have noticed but not said any thing, rather than just 'because he's an *kitten*!!' so comunicate with him, he's no more a mind reader than you are :)
  • RobertaKR
    RobertaKR Posts: 22 Member
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    hello fellow MFPs.

    I need to rant for a minute....
    My clothes are hanging off my body and I just can't imagine why he doesn't say anything. grrrrrrr

    thank you for listening to my rant.

    Get some new clothes. Don't just hang on to the old ones. It will make you feel much better even if he still doesn't notice.
  • ines25
    ines25 Posts: 107 Member
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    He meybe don't want to get u mad sometimes we act like total *****es so don't worry he will say it
  • radioonemike
    radioonemike Posts: 13 Member
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    Hmmm. Sorry to hear that. I can understand how frustrating that would be, especially since weight loss is always a difficult effort... Perhaps, he wants to keep mum until you reach your goal weight or perhaps he's just a guy and does not know quite what to say.

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