Mikes Daily Rant Topic: Big Bones
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No big bones here. Just big butt and thighs. :bigsmile:
Add boobs and that's me. But all are shrinking!
Awesomeness!!!0 -
Hey. Im not defensive actually. I think she feels that Im stupid when I know perfectly well that we all have different bone mass. I just know that it doesnt explain why people are fat. I am over here laughing at her getting mad actually when the person that I said it to laughed. Yet I am a jerk? I might be for other reasons but for this? No. The lady walked behind me saying What? What? say it! Sooooo. I accept the title of jerk. I will tell you this. She worked extra hard after I made that comment. I was proud of her and her "Big Bones" LOL.
I didn't mean you were the defensive one - some of the responses to your original post seem to be a bit defensive. They are the ones taking it too seriously.0 -
Hey. Im not defensive actually. I think she feels that Im stupid when I know perfectly well that we all have different bone mass. I just know that it doesnt explain why people are fat. I am over here laughing at her getting mad actually when the person that I said it to laughed. Yet I am a jerk? I might be for other reasons but for this? No. The lady walked behind me saying What? What? say it! Sooooo. I accept the title of jerk. I will tell you this. She worked extra hard after I made that comment. I was proud of her and her "Big Bones" LOL.
I didn't mean you were the defensive one - some of the responses to your original post seem to be a bit defensive. They are the ones taking it too seriously.
LOL good point.0 -
Hey. Im not defensive actually. I think she feels that Im stupid when I know perfectly well that we all have different bone mass. I just know that it doesnt explain why people are fat. I am over here laughing at her getting mad actually when the person that I said it to laughed. Yet I am a jerk? I might be for other reasons but for this? No. The lady walked behind me saying What? What? say it! Sooooo. I accept the title of jerk. I will tell you this. She worked extra hard after I made that comment. I was proud of her and her "Big Bones" LOL.
I didn't mean you were the defensive one - some of the responses to your original post seem to be a bit defensive. They are the ones taking it too seriously.
LOL good point.
When you were heavier would you have responded better to someone being insensitive to you and hurting your feelings even if they were right or coming from a place of love, or someone offering help and being friendly and motivating? It's just about thinking before you speak. You probably meant no harm, but it certainly didn't come off that way at all. I don't hate ya or anything, I just think you need to be much wiser in what you say if your intentions are to help instead of hinder.0 -
I like this. Yes it may be a little insensitive or hurt her feelings, but honestly so what. She was making a lame excuse and you called her on it. If her goal is to actually lose weight rather than make excuses, you probably helped her realize how ridiculous her excuse was. In the name of politeness, most people never call out excuses as the BS they really are, so it can be beneficial when someone actually speaks up about it.0
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I like this. Yes it may be a little insensitive or hurt her feelings, but honestly so what. She was making a lame excuse and you called her on it. If her goal is to actually lose weight rather than make excuses, you probably helped her realize how ridiculous her excuse was. In the name of politeness, most people never call out excuses as the BS they really are, so it can be beneficial when someone actually speaks up about it.
There is a HUGE difference in shedding light to the truth in a polite manner vs being a jerk. In this situation specifically someone could have said: "Using the excuses is only going to harm you in the long run. If you would like some pointers in getting started in your weight loss journey I'm here to help since I have experience." You don't have to insult someone to motivate them. Infact that rarely if ever works. It usually backfires. I agree one shouldn't make excuses for anything in their life. Ultimately the reason people do things is simply because they wanted to do it. Why did she get fat? It certainly wasn't because of a big bone structure or bone mass ( which does vary despite the op's claims ). It was because she chose to.0 -
Not sure how relevent this thought is, given the direction the thread is going, but...
How come there were no "big-boned" or "fat runs in my family" sufferers in Auschwitz, or Dachau...
Just a thought? :ohwell:0 -
Not sure how relevent this thought is, given the direction the thread is going, but...
How come there were no "big-boned" or "fat runs in my family" sufferers in Auschwitz, or Dachau...
Just a thought? :ohwell:
Are you really comparing anything to the concentration camps and genocide that occured? That's disturbing how you could even correlate that. I'm not sure what's going on in your mind that even makes that a logical jump.0 -
Hey. Im not defensive actually. I think she feels that Im stupid when I know perfectly well that we all have different bone mass. I just know that it doesnt explain why people are fat. I am over here laughing at her getting mad actually when the person that I said it to laughed. Yet I am a jerk? I might be for other reasons but for this? No. The lady walked behind me saying What? What? say it! Sooooo. I accept the title of jerk. I will tell you this. She worked extra hard after I made that comment. I was proud of her and her "Big Bones" LOL.
I didn't mean you were the defensive one - some of the responses to your original post seem to be a bit defensive. They are the ones taking it too seriously.
LOL good point.
When you were heavier would you have responded better to someone being insensitive to you and hurting your feelings even if they were right or coming from a place of love, or someone offering help and being friendly and motivating? It's just about thinking before you speak. You probably meant no harm, but it certainly didn't come off that way at all. I don't hate ya or anything, I just think you need to be much wiser in what you say if your intentions are to help instead of hinder.
Very true but unfortunately in certain situations its not easier to get flys with sugar than it is with ****. Meaning I think its important to not confuse the message with kindness. When I was 381 pounds my sister said something to me that needed to be said and it changed my mindset and ultimately help me decide that it was time to lose the weight. She is a medical Doctor and she would get my blood pressure meds for me for free becuase I couldnt afford them. She told me that he could not do this forever and that I needed to do something about my weight and fast. She said Its a shame that I took care of my lawn and my home better than I took care of my body. It was a dagger but soooooo true!. I hit the track as soon as she got in her care and drove off. I lost 200 pounds in 356 days because of it. *Kanye Shrug*0 -
Not sure how relevent this thought is, given the direction the thread is going, but...
How come there were no "big-boned" or "fat runs in my family" sufferers in Auschwitz, or Dachau...
Just a thought? :ohwell:
To the corner you go!!! LOL.0 -
Hey. Im not defensive actually. I think she feels that Im stupid when I know perfectly well that we all have different bone mass. I just know that it doesnt explain why people are fat. I am over here laughing at her getting mad actually when the person that I said it to laughed. Yet I am a jerk? I might be for other reasons but for this? No. The lady walked behind me saying What? What? say it! Sooooo. I accept the title of jerk. I will tell you this. She worked extra hard after I made that comment. I was proud of her and her "Big Bones" LOL.
I didn't mean you were the defensive one - some of the responses to your original post seem to be a bit defensive. They are the ones taking it too seriously.
LOL good point.
When you were heavier would you have responded better to someone being insensitive to you and hurting your feelings even if they were right or coming from a place of love, or someone offering help and being friendly and motivating? It's just about thinking before you speak. You probably meant no harm, but it certainly didn't come off that way at all. I don't hate ya or anything, I just think you need to be much wiser in what you say if your intentions are to help instead of hinder.
Very true but unfortunately in certain situations its not easier to get flys with sugar than it is with ****. Meaning I think its important to not confuse the message with kindness. When I was 381 pounds my sister said something to me that needed to be said and it changed my mindset and ultimately help me decide that it was time to lose the weight. She is a medical Doctor and she would get my blood pressure meds for me for free becuase I couldnt afford them. She told me that he could not do this forever and that I needed to do something about my weight and fast. She said Its a shame that I took care of my lawn and my home better than I took care of my body. It was a dagger but soooooo true!. I hit the track as soon as she got in her care and drove off. I lost 200 pounds in 356 days because of it. *Kanye Shrug*
What she said wasn't insentitive though. How can you not see the difference?0 -
preaching to the choir my friend! my mom and sister LOVE to echo that...I used to as well..but then dropped 50lbs. It's fat people!!!!0
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you know there is a blog function on this site??0
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Hilarious! I need to add you as a friend!0
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Surprised you didnt get slapped! lol.:laugh:0
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i think i might be in love with this guy0
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Well.. some people's bones ARE bigger than others(frame size) and some people are more susceptible to weight gain due to genetics, hormones, muscle fiber type etc. That was a pretty insensitive thing to say if you ask me. I do agree with you that people use that excuse much too loosely and often when really they need to make a lifestyle change and learn to eat right, but I also think some people have a harder time than others with their weight and it's not our place to judge.
This.
I actually know for a fact that I am in the higher percentile of the population who has a larger frame. OP, you might have thought you were being clever and being honest, but the reality is that you have no clue as to what you are talking about. Some people do use it as an excuse, but that doesn't mean that everyone does, or that it's not even a possibility for some.0 -
To be fair, frame size (or being "big boned") can legitimately effect your weight. I'm 5'4" with a very slender bone structure, so my "target weight" is lower than someone with a more robust bone structure. But most people who use the "big boned" comment have more than just bones weighing them down. It's also true some people's bodies naturally like to sit at a higher body fat percentage, but for most people hard work and and persistence can get them to a healthy weight.0
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Well I have never been the type of guy that has ever had trouble admiting to what appears to be evident. If asked a question, I have always been truthful. I have always been fair but honest. Often times the truth can be hurtful if you already know it to be true but expect someone to lie to you. I dont get that concept. Today at the gym a woman said "I work hard everytime I come here. I eat right and everything. I just cant lose weight. But Being Big Boned runs in my family." I just shook my head without commenting right then. I walked away and she followed behind me asking "What, What?!?!" I tried to walk away and keep her from hating me. But she insisted that I share my thoughts. Sooooo.... I did! I said, "2 things. 1. It appears that no one runs in your family so that theory is wrong. 2. All bones are the same size. You are not big boned you have regular bones with big *kitten* meat wrapped around them. However you are in the gym which is the second step to making a change to your body. First is changing your mindset and cutting the denial out." Her jaw dropped and and she had a serious face and she bursted out into laughter. I was relieved and she couldnt believe that I said that to her but she worked hard in spin class after that and told her friends what I told her and they all got a good laugh out of it.
My rant is this. Although we laughed about it, This is no laughing matter! People stop saying that you have big bones. You dont. You have big deposits of fatty substances under your skin. Keep it real. I know I do. Look out for Mikes Daily Rant tomorrow. Im sure something will upset me and make me post.
LOL everyone told me I had big bones all my life. Once I lost the 60 lbs I realized how small I was. I've never been this lean before. Lifting weights gave me DENSE bones, not big bones. The only way I could lose the weight was to eat less, because I'm small, tiny, and actually my bones are small and strong, LOL. . I recently had my DXA scan done and at 51.5 years of age I have the bone density of a super athletic 30 year old. That is a direct result of lifting for over 30 years. Now if that is not scientific proof that lifting weights keeps you younger I don't know what is! Also I believe it is why most people think I look much younger than I really am.
Me with big bones:
Me with small bones:
LOL have an awesome day!0 -
1. I wouldn't have come chasing after you asking for your opinion, and I doubt any girl would, or that it really happened at all, much less that you were prepared enough with your retort to have even phrased it like that. You just sort of wanted to make a post on MFP which be slightly inflammatory and get several replies.
2. If it did go down how you presented it, you're lucky you didn't get punched, because at that point you're not being helpful, you're being a jerk.
You're also slightly misinformed.
I highly doubt people chase you down in the gym for your expert opinion on what they should change in their lifestyles, or for reality checks. Most people don't even want to hear the truth when they ask for it, much less chase people down for their holy feedback.0
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