Cruel Family Members

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Replies

  • ChiChi_the_RD
    ChiChi_the_RD Posts: 4 Member
    How horrific that you've had to hear these horrible things. Certain people just need to be ignored. They've got nothing good coming out of them.
  • LitaRose77
    LitaRose77 Posts: 124 Member
    I don't know about cruel, but regrettably, my friends & family are of no help. I mean, they get why I am trying to lose weight:
    1. Get healthy
    2. Stop all the pain I live with on a daily basis due to the extra bulk I carry around
    3. Get control of my Diabetes & Sleep Apnea
    4. Clothes shopping made easier (LOL).

    Often, they pick not so great places to eat out, & it is tough to behave & get something from the diet menu or a salad when they're getting cheeseburgers & pastas. I feel like I am on this journey alone. In fact, just yesterday when I weighed myself after the first week of starting again & discovered that I'd lost 6.2 pounds, I was ecstatic! Even if it is only water weight, it is a start. So, imagine my disdain when I told my best friend, (who is like a sister to me) my news & her reply was "How'd you do that?! It's not like you're excerising." Wow. Thanks. A little congrats would have been nice. After going back & forth with her, she eventually said "that's good, keep it up".

    Now, maybe I am being a wee bit selfish, but in my opinion, that should've been the first thing you said. It makes me wonder if she is secretly jealous. She herself hardly eats & often times, she has a tough time keeping food in her system. She blames it on her meds & her Diabetes, but when told she needs to go to the doctor to get checked, she produces a laundry list of reasons why she can't go. Yet, she is the first to bark at others when they're sick, telling them to go to the doctors. She is also the first to tell you that you should start walking, dancing, doing this, that, etc. Yet, she does none of these herself.
  • LitaRose77
    LitaRose77 Posts: 124 Member
    My favorite thing to say is, "I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can lose weight."
    Shuts them right up.

    I love this!!
  • kdzi
    kdzi Posts: 78 Member
    My aunt told my brother he was "still fat" when he was greeting guests at my dad's funeral luncheon. She told me the same thing when I saw her inside. Seriously. Our father had just died. We were in mourning. And all she could talk about is how fat we were.
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
    My aunt told my brother he was "still fat" when he was greeting guests at my dad's funeral luncheon. She told me the same thing when I saw her inside. Seriously. Our father had just died. We were in mourning. And all she could talk about is how fat we were.

    I probably would have gone "and you're still a b•tch, well done you" with a big smile as if I was saying something polite.
    At a funeral is definitely just inappropriate.
  • Antlady69
    Antlady69 Posts: 204 Member
    She has had counselling, sadly it gave her momentum, she declared the counsellor had said she's had such a hard life (not really, her parents/my grands are wonderful- I credit them for how I turned out) and it was all our fault and that the universe owes her everything, blah blah, blah.

    A friend of mine from High School (who is now a psychologist) says in her now-qualified opinion that Mom has "Malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder", she gave me some links to some websites that really blew open the doors on why/how/who she is, and how to deal with it. I'm not in regular contact with the friend, it must have just rung bells with her, I'm extremely grateful!
    They term the children of people with MNPD as "victims" and when I read that I bawled my eyes out (and I'm not a cry-er), it was amazing! I definitely cope with her better now, especially with a great husband and my children to look after. It's just difficult having to deal with her still. I try to ignore her, but it does still hurt! Especially when she makes a point of being so public about it, and I still don't feel capable of defending myself, and I know it won't really make a difference anyway, if anything it'll encourage her.
    I definitely agree it does say more about the mean people than you when they're being cruel.

    Ah, that explains a lot. As you're still having difficulties dealing with her behaviour (and that's understandable), how about you seek counselling too? If for nothing other than getting some tips on how to deal with her better.
  • JennPrebs
    JennPrebs Posts: 111 Member
    I am so sorry. you are suppose to love your family but they are so damm cruel! My sister is terrible well she is a little better now she has stopped her bad habitis and realized food is such a convient replacement for drugs and alcohol. Most my life even when i was 120 i still look huge compared to someone. 95 lbs now that i am huge its like o your sister is so beautiful why are you so fat, all you do is exercise and diet but you are still huge! I get these from most my family all the time. They make me feel like a should graze in the fields with the cows. My weight loss has finally been successful since living in north dakota with my boyfriend in another state,all positive energy and even people at work tell me im not fat. In florida though its a different story people at work and home always comment on what a fat *kitten* I am. Sadly i have to go back to finish school i am terrified but atleast my man loves me for me :)

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