Class Reunions: To go or not to go?

lrtoland

So, in my H.S. there were two cliques: popular and unpopular.I was picked on quite a bit and made the butt of many a joke throughout my experience in the halls of my rural and rather small-town school. It was a very difficult time for me.I have a lot of bad memories from that time in my life Not very idealistic....lol:) I did have a few close friends who I still consider friends to this day.

Many, many people have told me how much fun it was to go back to your Class Reunion. They say that everyone is so different and that it's a really great time. Much to my dismay, I have found over the years that many of the people I went to H.S. with are still stuck in the same clique-ish mentality, it seems. This has pretty much dashed my desire to even go to my 20-year H.S. reunion.

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

AllonsYtotheTardis

I was going to go to my 20 year reunion. I joined the facebook group that the organizers were using to get info out.

Then I remembered why I hated highschool. The same feelings all came crashing back.

F**K that. If I didn't want to hang out with these people THEN, why would I want to see them NOW?

gts175

Pick someone you really enjoy spending time with and pick some place you would really like to go and then go there and spend a long weekend having fun and you'll have no regrets about skipping the reunion and you'll have more fun than everyone there. Good Luck.

Koldnomore

I was going to go to my 20 year reunion. I joined the facebook group that the organizers were using to get info out.

Then I remembered why I hated highschool. The same feelings all came crashing back.

F**K that. If I didn't want to hang out with these people THEN, why would I want to see them NOW?

BINGO.

They aren't worth the time for me to get all dressed up - I'd rather get all dressed up and go out for a nice evening somewhere with someone who's company I WOULD enjoy

castell5

My five year reunion was fun and we had a big turn out.
The ten year reunion had all the lushes turn up and it wasn't worth it.
Haven't been to once since.
I am sure any real friends you had in high school are still your real friends out of high school.
To me, high school was a joke.
My advice would be go with your gut instinct. Don't go to show anyone anything or to prove anything.

LeenaRuns

I was going to go to my 20 year reunion. I joined the facebook group that the organizers were using to get info out.

Then I remembered why I hated highschool. The same feelings all came crashing back.

F**K that. If I didn't want to hang out with these people THEN, why would I want to see them NOW?

Wow, it's like you read my mind!

mlb929

We just went to my husbands 25 this summer. It was dumb, no one really spoke to each other, except those ones who kept in touch. DH was from a big school, about 75 people in total showed up. You could easily still see the clicks. Even the kids who were friends in HS didn't talk to each other. The "guests" were more chatty than the classmates. It was just weird. DH was not a jock, but he also wasn't unpopular, and very well liked. The whole thing was just awkward for everyone it seemed like.

I personally wouldn't attend mine, there is one girl in particular I should have punched in HS and didn't, get a few drinks in me (and I don't really drink), I may just punch her I looked over some facebook pages of my HS friends, and realized I hadn't communicated with these people in 20 years, and hadn't missed anything in my life for it, so why start now.

blamse

It seems to me like you've kind of answered your own question. I don't see why you'd go back based on how you've described things. People aren't going to change much, other than physically, after being out of high school for 20 years. Why don't you have a mini-reunion with the people that you said you are still fairly close to or just choose something else that you know you'll enjoy!

Onesnap

Go.

Well if you reunions are like mine...go.

Mine have been held in a bar thus far. So it is casual dress, sharing appetizers, and playing pool. No division of popularity. Just a big mix and everyone having a nice relaxing time. Every time I hear about reunion where you have to dress up, wear a name tag, and play 'games' I CRINGE.

kikih64

My 30th reunion was this past summer and I had every intention of going. I wasn't unpopular, but had a very small group of friends, none of whom I am in contact with today. I like the use of FB to see who will be attending, it's very helpful! I didn't see anyone on the list that I was particularly interested in reconnecting with, so I ended up not going. I did look at the pictures afterwards and had a tiny moment of regret, but it passed quickly.

I agree with JJ. I didn't hate HS, but why try to create friendships at a reunion that didn't exist in HS? People do change, but if you've kept in touch with the people you wanted to, what's the point of putting yourself through a reunion?

porcelain_doll

I think the people who have the most fun at reunions are the ones that had fun in HS and did not get picked on or have a rough time. That is my guess, anyway. Despite having a rough HS experience, I did go to my 10-year reunion in 2008 and left feeling a myriad of things. Proud that I had done more with my life than many others had by that point; weird that I was one of the few who were not married yet; sad that so many that were friendly and nice now weren't capable of it just ten years ago. I had one old friend show up drunk and she said some things in front of others about an old rumor that had gone around about me in junior high, which greatly embarrassed me. I have mixed feelings about attending our 20th..... I am leaning toward 'no'.

Lesley2901

I did go to mine. All the people who turned up did not appear to have changed much personality wise from when we were in school. I spent the evening in the company of friends that I still keep in contact with. On hindsight I wish I hadn't bothered going!

heatherloveslifting

I don't know.... I was afraid to go to my reunions (10 & 20) because I thought a lot of people didn't like me and might be mean or it would be awkward. BUT, subsequently I've had a lot of them contact me through facebook and say they were sorry for being jerks and that they loved and missed me and hoped I would come to the next one. So it turns out I have a lot of affection for the kids I "grew up" with, even if some of the individual experiences were...honestly, kind of heartbreaking. I will go next time because it seems like everyone has grown up. And because life is short.

ETA reports from ours indicate people from a previously wide range of social groups who might not even have spoken to each other in high school were all getting along great. But, then again, we could be exceptions and I didn't see it in person.

LoraF83

I just went to my 10 year reunion a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but a former classmate that I see regularly now talked me into it. I haven't kept in touch with my group of friends from school (except casually through facebook).

I am so glad I went! I had a great time - we had about 40 people show up (out of 200+) and everyone talked, mingled, laughed and told stories. I spent a little time with several groups of people. We all went to a local bar after the event. It was seriously great and I'm glad I went. If it's awful, you can leave. But you might regret not going.

her4g63

I wasn't invited to my 5 year, doubt I'll be invited to the 10 year.

And even if I was invited, I won't go. I hated what those jerks in high school did to me. Why would I want to spend my valuable time with them now?

Onesnap

I wasn't invited to my 5 year, doubt I'll be invited to the 10 year.

And even if I was invited, I won't go. I hated what those jerks in high school did to me. Why would I want to spend my valuable time with them now?

A reunion is what you make of it. If you head in there with a bad attitude you will have a ****ty time.

If you head in with an open mind (you are all adults now) you might surprise yourself. You also might reconnect with someone that could become your friend now.

If the reunion is casual (as mine have been--in a bar) go for it. But don't go in thinking about jerks. Hold your head high and be you. Show them how far you've come.

heykaraoke

Didn't go to the 5 year reunion, don't plan on going to any others. I've kept in touch with the people I genuinely liked, so why bother going to spend an evening with what amounts to a bunch of strangers just because we shared a building for a few years? It would be like if a past workplace had reunions. Weird. I don't really see the point.

McBully4

I'm going to go, I am still good friends with a few from HS. I'd imagine we get there laugh at a few people then go do our own thing.

Onesnap

I just went to my 10 year reunion a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but a former classmate that I see regularly now talked me into it. I haven't kept in touch with my group of friends from school (except casually through facebook).

I am so glad I went! I had a great time - we had about 40 people show up (out of 200+) and everyone talked, mingled, laughed and told stories. I spent a little time with several groups of people. We all went to a local bar after the event. It was seriously great and I'm glad I went. If it's awful, you can leave. But you might regret not going.

Agree. Mine have very much the same vibe you describe here. And it's not like we're going in blind. Due to FB we all know what people have been up to (makes for a less awkward time)

Onesnap

Didn't go to the 5 year reunion, don't plan on going to any others. I've kept in touch with the people I genuinely liked, so why bother going to spend an evening with what amounts to a bunch of strangers just because we shared a building for a few years? It would be like if a past workplace had reunions. Weird. I don't really see the point.

Most of the people I graduated with I was with from grades 5-12. Many from grades K-12. It was people from 7 different towns in one school so a different vibe. As I said earlier, if you go in with a bad attitude you will have a horrible time. Go in with an open mind and as others have stated there may even be a get together after that you DO care about.

yoovie

Id be murdered if I had the indecency to show up at my high school reunion. They would tar and feather me in that sick little village in the Bible Belt.

how dare I refuse to marry my prom date the weekend after graduation (he dropped out a year earlier of course to start working and get a trailer of our own) and instead decide to move to Phoenix and never be heard from again until I appeared in NYC all over the place?

how dare I not turn 30 put on 100 pounds after 4 children and stop sleeping with my husband.

how dare I live elsewhere, indulge all my creative endeavors and actually pursue a career.

how dare I come home, show up at the reunion with nothing to show for my life and absolutely no stains on my clothes, no church membership card, no grandbabies for my parents and most importantly... who the F do I think I am - better than them cause Im different?

DIAF

yeah there's no way Im going to my 20 year reunion in 5 years.

saxmaniac

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I was so invisible, I wasn't even *invited*. Saw some pictures through Facebook - everyone who showed up is exactly the same.

mandy0688

I probaly won't go since recently one of my "BEST FRIENDS" stabbed me in the back but really we didn't have cliques. We were a mixed school black and white so basically everyone got along with everyone. I am unsure if i want to go its like3-4 yrs till my ten yr. I guess i will decide when it comes too

dukes418

I was a pretty quiet guy in H.S. but still popular by virtue of my involvement in sports and other groups. I missed my 10 year H.S. reunion and made a promise not to miss the 20th next year. Understanding that everyone has to make their own decision concerning to go or not to go, I would encourage you to go. The last thing you would want to do is regret not going and wish you had. Besides, you and all of your classmates are adults and while you may get there and realize some folks have not changed since high school you can find comfort knowing you have risen above some of the immaturity some folks continue to demonstrate. So go man! Have a good time -- even if you become the butt of some jokes. You never know, you may get there and realize while you have moved forward in your life, many of your classmates may be stuff in the rut of theirs.

heatherloveslifting

Id be murdered if I had the indecency to show up at my high school reunion. They would tar and feather me in that sick little village in the Bible Belt.

how dare I refuse to marry my prom date the weekend after graduation (he dropped out a year earlier of course to start working and get a trailer of our own) and instead decide to move to Phoenix and never be heard from again until I appeared in NYC all over the place?

how dare I not turn 30 put on 100 pounds after 4 children and stop sleeping with my husband.

how dare I live elsewhere, indulge all my creative endeavors and actually pursue a career.

how dare I come home, show up at the reunion with nothing to show for my life and absolutely no stains on my clothes, no church membership card, no grandbabies for my parents and most importantly... who the F do I think I am - better than them cause Im different?

DIAF

yeah there's no way Im going to my 20 year reunion in 5 years.

Holy ****! You rock and you should totally go!!!

StarkLark

I say go, but it sounds like we had different high school experiences...

I was responsible for organizing my ten year reunion two years ago and it was fun. We had it in a local bar and the turnout as pretty good (50 people out of a 100 or so in my graduating class). Very informal event with a band in the back room etc. Most people were folks that I was either still friends with or had run into over the years while back home. There were a few people that I hadn't seen in 10 years which was cool too. No awkwardness to report, especially after a few drinks :drinker:

I went to a small private school - a few small cliques but no real bullies. There were always kids who weren't as sociable as others, and most of those kids didn't come to the reunion.

Only downside was that I was at my heaviest weight at that time, but I sucked it up and organized/went anyway. Now I can't wait for the next one so everyone can see the changes I have made.

lrtoland

Thank you SO much everyone!! I really appreciate all of your feedback and thanks for listening to a bit of my H.S. story. I see many of you have had similar experiences and I empathize with you:) Some of those wounds can take a long time to heal. I wish I could quote everyone because you ALL have a story to tell; if I did that, though, I'd be here for a week...lol;) Some of you have had good High School experiences...that is awesome:) I'm glad you have good memories!

There are a few people I would like to quote in subsequent posts because they really stood out to me, but I just want all of you to know that I am grateful for your responses. It kinda feels good to get some of this of your chest, huh? If any of you need some encouragment or would like a new friend, please feel free to add me!!

elizak87

I have my ten year coming up. I am not going. I am still friends and still see the people who I was friends with in high schooj. Why the f do I need to see people who I don't care about?

needamulligan

I just skipped a couple reunions recently. I planned to go until I started seeing photos of people I couldn't remember in the slightest. My conclusion, based on stories from friends who did attend, both of the reunions were predominantly attended by single people and out of towners. I've kept in touch with the people I want to keep in my life. That's good enough for me.

lrtoland

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I was so invisible, I wasn't even *invited*. Saw some pictures through Facebook - everyone who showed up is exactly the same.

I am so sorry. That hurts. I was often invisible in H.S. as well, that is, until some bully felt like being a jerk:S Anyway, it's all good...our experiences shape us into the people we are, for better or worse. Rejection sucks, but we can become stronger from it and choose to reach out to others going through similar experiences;) Thanks for sharing.

lrtoland

My advice would be go with your gut instinct. Don't go to show anyone anything or to prove anything.

That's very good advice:) You're right! We don't need their approval. If I go, it will be because I don't want to regret not going:) Thanks for your post!!