Class Reunions: To go or not to go?

livingwithlam

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I was so invisible, I wasn't even *invited*. Saw some pictures through Facebook - everyone who showed up is exactly the same.

I was also invisible, and was never invited. I wouldn't go anyways though. High School was absolute hell for me.

I ended up dropping out my Senior year and got my GED; I just couldn't handle it anymore. What's in the past should stay there, why dig up unpleasant memories?

Licienne

I went to my 10 year one and I found also that the same people HUNG with the same people....and people who didn't know I even was alive still didn't....what I can say all the guys that thought they were so hot got fat and bald....I thought that was a blast...even the "hotty" girls of the class got old and haggard looking I was shocked....I can't say I ever went again...I didn't need to bring up my past that I really hated again....I won't go back there anymore

_Timmeh_

I never went to one reunion, I found out all I wanted to know from others that went.

Plus I had a million other things I could spend $135 per person on.

Legs_McGee

I really enjoyed high school and have lots of great memories, so I've gone to my reunions. The ten year was okay but the 20 year was a blast. Actually after finding each other on Myspace and then Facebook, my graduating class has had "unofficial" reunions a couple times a year for the past 6 years. I live about 150 miles away so I don't get to see these people too often and I'm glad we make an effort to see each other.

cherrikim

You just described me to the capital letter T. I went to all of our class reunions without the only two girls I was close with in school. I had a ball at all of them & can't wait for the 30th reunion. My two friends think like you & every reunion I find myself begging them to go because everyone always ask for them. I decided a long time ago that people just need to let go, stop hating, don't worry & have fun.

Find a slamming outfit, get your hair & nails done if that's what you do & go have a good time. You'll find someone you new that wasn't bad at all to you & sit next to them with your hubby or be like me & go alone since I don't have a man. If they take pictures join in & also take one of yourself.

Let me know how it turns out.

caldon4523

I grew up in Texas but have lived in Ohio over the last 25 years. I actually help organize my grade school 10 year reunion. We all had fun. But I went to a Catholic grade school and an all boy Catholic high school. If invite, I would go to my grade school reunion. There were only about 40 of us so we all knew each other and there were no bullies. Yes, it does make a difference.

High school was a different story. Because it was all boys some kids gravitated towards sports, band and for me, JRROTC. After graduating from college, I entered the Army and went away. I briefly kept in touch with some of my friends but eventually lost track of them and don't miss any of them.

The only real true friend I had was the sister of a friend of mine. She went to an all girl high school across the street. Her and I remained very close after graduation, through her marriage with my best friend and subsequent divorce. He kept cheating on her. Sadly, she died of ovarian cancer back in '97.

The only other friend from high school I would have liked to reconnect with died about 1 year ago.

So, the question is would I go to my reunion? I would differently go to my grade school reunion. My whole grade school experience was fun. Plus there were many girls I liked and would like to see how they look today. That's why I belong to MFP!

I would go to my high school reunion only go if friends I knew begged me to come. Again, I'm 1000 miles away so it is not something I would do unless they really wanted to see me. They probably don't so I probably won't go.

It's a good topic. Some interesting posts...

As for you, it really is a gut felling. Several folks have recommended get in touch with friends you want to see and meet with them. Good luck.

fitwithin

I have to been to all of my reunions (5, 10, 20, 30, and 40). Damn, I'm old. Anyway, the 10 year everyone is trying to impress everyone. They try to look like they did in high school or lose weight. The 20th reunion, people settle down a lot and say they are doing what they enjoy now. They didn't try nearly as hard. By the 30th and 40th, they are just glad to see you. People that I didn't know that well acted like we were best friends. Only one girl that I remember was teased a lot and she got the "late bloomer" award because she looked absolutely fabulous. If you decide to go, just go with a positive attitude and show them that you have come a long way and are very happy with your life. You definitely have a strong support group here. Best of luck.

danasings

Id be murdered if I had the indecency to show up at my high school reunion. They would tar and feather me in that sick little village in the Bible Belt.

how dare I refuse to marry my prom date the weekend after graduation (he dropped out a year earlier of course to start working and get a trailer of our own) and instead decide to move to Phoenix and never be heard from again until I appeared in NYC all over the place?

how dare I not turn 30 put on 100 pounds after 4 children and stop sleeping with my husband.

how dare I live elsewhere, indulge all my creative endeavors and actually pursue a career.

how dare I come home, show up at the reunion with nothing to show for my life and absolutely no stains on my clothes, no church membership card, no grandbabies for my parents and most importantly... who the F do I think I am - better than them cause Im different?

DIAF

yeah there's no way Im going to my 20 year reunion in 5 years.

BWAHAHAHA!! Love you, yoovie!!

I went to my ten year with my best guy friend (who had been my prom date in HS) just to see what all the fuss was about. I was NOT popular in high school, but a lot of that was because of my bad attitude. I earned good grades and did a lot of activities (mostly music), but I was convinced that I was "fat and ugly" and "everyone hated me." So guess what? I made it true back then. But when I showed up for my reunion, several people didn't even recognize me. Also, since I was one of the only people who actually left town (i moved from PA to CA) i was sort of a mini-celebrity, lol.

I didn't go to my 20th because it was canceled due to lack of interest.

saxmaniac

I was also invisible, and was never invited. I wouldn't go anyways though. High School was absolute hell for me.

Actually, I'd probably go, *if* they invited everyone. Despite being one of the invisibles, there really are a few people that I would like to see again. But the lack of invitation clearly showed that the organizers really just were interested maintaining/reliving their own douche-enclave, rather than organizing an event for the entire class.

snowdrop_diva

I was going to go to my 20 year reunion. I joined the facebook group that the organizers were using to get info out.

Then I remembered why I hated highschool. The same feelings all came crashing back.

F**K that. If I didn't want to hang out with these people THEN, why would I want to see them NOW?

That's EXACTLY why I ended up skipping our 20yr reunion this summer.
A lot of those people treated me like crap on their shoes while we were growing up...

Janice0711

*This weekend my hubby & I are going to my 40th HS reunion! I am SO excited!
Tonight we are painting posters at a girl's house for our float for the Homecoming Parade for Thurs~Fri night Homecoming game & visit at a Mexican food place & Big reunion Sat. night at a BBQ place~

I started working on my fitness & weight 1yr & 1/2 ago & used this reunion as a really good motivator~

I have lost 60lbs & 16 inches overall & got a cute little outfit to wear~My hubby & I are sitting with a very close friend & her hubby, so if we decide everyone else is boring, at least we know we will enjoy the evening with our friends. Some of the guys from my class are in a band & they are playing all the music from our high school days~

I went to my 10th, did not go to my 20th, or 30th~It might just be me, but I am thinking once you reach your 40th, people are just so glad to have "made it" to this one! HA!
I think it just depends on the group~

*I am just excited because I reached my goal! Yeah!
Good Luck!

mgs_philly85

I think you should do what you feel. If you don't want to go then don't go. You are not obligated to be around these people. Personally I am not going to any of my reunions. And I'm sure I won't have any "regrets". Look you have lived your life for the last 20 years without there involvement so whats the point of being uncomfortable around a group of people you don't talk to. You won't regret anything. Might as well go to a bar with good friends and have some good drinks with real laughs.

Crochetluvr

I was invited to my 40th reunion next month but declined. If it were next year, I might consider it. But I was one of the most unpopular kids in the school and have few good memories of ANYONE that might show up. So if I ever DID go, I want to look like a knockout and I am not there yet.

Bentley2718

I dropped out of HS, so I don't have a HS reunion to go to, but I have gotten things for my undergrad reunion, and can't say I was the least bit interested in going--if I wanted to talk to/see anyone I went to undergrad with, I'd find them on FB. Then again, I couldn't be bothered to go to the graduation ceremony for my Ph.D. (I'd moved across the country, so it would have been a hassle), so maybe I'm just a spoil-sport. *shrug*

All of that to say, personally, I wouldn't bother. If you think you aren't going to have a good time, you probably won't.

CherryOnionKiss

I'm not going. I'm WAY too much embarassed to be that overweight. I used to weight 120 pounds in HS. I'm at 175 pounds now :sad:

DenyseMarieL

I've had people from High School try to add me on facebook, ones that were awful to me, and made fun of me. I was stunned. I thought, do you even have any memory of what a b***h you were? So, no. I would never go. I hated high school.

Jennloella

if you didn't like high school, are still friends with the only people you care about - then you will probably not have fun. I went to all my reunions and quite enjoyed it, but I had a good time in school and there were people I lost touch with that I was looking forward to seeing....you sound like you don't really want to do, so don't! Lots of people don't!

Jen32285

My 10 year reunion will be coming up this coming summer. I haven't decided if I will end up going or not. I also live 2,000 miles away.

bella_babe_86

My 10 year reunion will be in 2015, i will for sure be going. I put on most of my weight in my senior year, so I am excited to go and show off my hot new body(or atleast it will be hot and new by that time) plus I still keep in touch with alot of my highschool friends, and I really jump at any excuse to get a cute new outfit and get all dressed up and have a night out with DH. Despite the cliques that were in my class, everyone was really nice except for a few choice people.And most of them have grown up since then!

redraidergirl2009

I'm going. I was an art kid so we had our own clique. From all I've heard most the people I went to school with are catastrophic failures and I'm not so heck yea I'm going.

_VoV

My 40th reunion is coming up next year, and I'm almost 100% sure I'm not going. I haven't been to a single previous one because high school wasn't a good time for me, so why go and be reminded of why that was?

I have a few people who have friended me on FB who went to high school the same time I did, but they weren't friends then and they aren't now. So why bother?

lrtoland

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I was so invisible, I wasn't even *invited*. Saw some pictures through Facebook - everyone who showed up is exactly the same.

I am so sorry. That hurts. I was often invisible in H.S. as well, that is, until some bully felt like being a jerk:S Anyway, it's all good...our experiences shape us into the people we are, for better or worse. Rejection sucks, but we can become stronger from it and choose to reach out to others going through similar experiences;) Thanks for sharing.

Was also invisible in HS. If we had a 5 year reunion, wasn't invited. When I was a senior in hs, there were kids in my class that I had been to school with since kindergarten and had classes with the whole time that didn't know my name (my graduating class had 140 kids). There were only 5 girls in my HS class that I was friends with. It was all we could do to keep our heads down and avoid the bullies that tormented us most of middle school and the beginning of HS; basically, survive. I've kept in touch with a couple of them and we're all more than happy to be excluded from a class reunion. We now all live different, but very happy and successful lives doing what we dreamed of doing. We still keep in touch through FB and email and phone on our own. We really don't care what the kids who spat on us, called us ugly, pushed us in the halls, spread rumors, threatened us, and made us cry until we were 16, until they'd finally had their fill and simply ignored us when we were 17 and 18 are doing at this point. And before anyone says anything--we were VERY quiet. We truly did nothing to provoke the bullying except be "the shy kids". But I also had an exceptionally mean and horrendous class. My younger brother who graduated 4 years after me said that the faculty still talked about my class and how relieved they were to have us gone. From what I've heard, most of them are burnouts, in jail, or in some other kind of trouble now. The kids that were "good" but still bullies, I still have no interest in seeing. Maybe they've grown up, maybe they're sorry, maybe they're nice now, maybe not. But it doesn't add anything to my life to find out. I'm not angry at them anymore, but I see no point using my valuable time to test the waters. I live 500 miles away from my home town now. Not worth the gas money, not worth the time.

If you had a good experience, why not go? If you had an "eh" experience, still, why not go? Might be fun to reconnect with people you were even somewhat friends with. But if it was miserable, why waste your time? Enjoy your current life, your current friends, and forget the past hurts. HS was a fraction of your life. If it was unhappy, don't dredge it up, just enjoy the rest of it.

^^This is really good advice. Just enjoy the rest of it:) Thanks so much. I don't have to worry about it for a few years, but I just got to thinking about it after a slightly unpleasant FB interaction with a guy I went to H.S. with.

lrtoland

I'm too busy making memories with the people in my life that matter to bother with going.

^^Awesome...love it:)

HealthyAlison

Not in a million years!

hbm616

I just had my 5 year reunion over the summer. It was nice to see a handful of people and it was even nicer to hear how awesome I look but overall it wasn't worth the over-priced drinks haha

oOMusicBabii

AS much as I was the quiet, band geek who got made fun of for being smart and nerdy, who had all of 5 friends, I still plan on going to my 5th or 10th (whenever those happen).

And I hope to be down to 150lbs and looked drop dead awesome because it'd be great to watch the jaw drops (I'm looking at you my *****y ex-friends!!)

Oishii

I went to my secondary school (JHS) reunion recently and it was great fun. I didn't recognise anyone who had been horrid to me, just the people I'd grown up with. I realised:

1) My primary (elementary) school friends are part of me, even if I haven't seen them in years.
2) School was less of a big deal in my life than for many of my classmates, because I've done so much since. I hardly remembered anything about school compared to many people there.
3) When I mentioned the 'cool kids', my friend said 'I thought we were pretty cool!' and she was right.
4) I'm not in bad shape for my age. We went and sat on the wall we used to sit on and I could jump up easily while others struggled.

I'm glad I went. I got 2 of my friends on my FB who hadn't been and I seemed to be the only person who bothered to talk to one of my oldest and quietest friends, so I'm glad I was there for her. If the same people are going, I'd go again.

jetscreaminagain

Thanks to the magic of facebook what I'm about to say isn't 100% true any more. And there's at least one cool high school classmate on here, and she's exempted. But those are the exceptions that prove the rule:

I moved 3000 miles away immediately upon graduation. That wasn't cuz I like high school so much. Why on EARTH would I go relive that *kitten* now that I'm an adult and have so many more interesting people to talk to and things to do? Like interview people at the DMV and get a root canal.

So. No. I like my life now and feel no need to go through the archaeology of social idiocy that would be returning to my high school and my cohort there.

reasnableblonde

I went to my 10-year. I was petrified that people would all ask me if I was married and had any kids yet... blah blah blah. At the time I was single and wasn't feelin' great about myself.

Turns out, the question everyone asked was if I still lived in the area. I got to tell them that after I defended my dissertation, I took a job in NYC and moved to Manhattan. It felt pretty darn good!! I had a few guys ask me why we didn't date in high school. Um, that would be because they ignored me completely.

I doubt I go to the 20-year. The men were friendly and fun, but the girls were *****ier than ever. I'm better than that and am not going to waste the gas or airfare.

Artemis726

My 20 year reunion is coming up in a few years. I didn't go to the 5, 10, or 15 year reunions, and I don't plan on going to this one either. I was fairly popular and well liked, but I have zero desire to mingle or to be hit up to reconnect afterwards. Meh.