he keeps telling me im fat i've lost 44lbs

Pamela259
Pamela259 Posts: 74 Member
in Motivation and Support
my partner keeps telling me im fat getting fat little comments about my weight im 5ft 1 and weighed 13stone i now weigh less than 10stone i know i have about 2 stone left to lose but is it really too much to ask for a bitt of support plus hes not exactly skinny himself he is 5ft 9 and weight 225 maybee he shold go take a long hard look in the mirror.
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Replies

  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
    maybe you should tell him to do that then go find someone who appreciates you!
  • MsTru2U
    MsTru2U Posts: 119 Member
    Congrats on your success this far!!! :flowerforyou: Dont let his jealousy and insecurities keep you from progressing! Sounds like you should find another SO...Personally, I would tell him to look in the mirror and go get it for him :huh: You're doing a wonderful job; keep it up!!!
  • okinmaine
    okinmaine Posts: 101 Member
    "he keeps telling me I'm fat" I'd tell him to get packing!! SERIOUSLY....I don't know you at all but I'm QUITE sure you deserve someone who treats you better! You keep doing what you're doing and surround yourself with supportive people!
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    maybe you should tell him to do that then go find someone who appreciates you!

    Lol ^^^^ agree
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    I have three good options:
    1) He can support you
    2) He can not support you but cant put you down either
    3) You can leave him and find a nice guy
  • MichaelYoung1976
    MichaelYoung1976 Posts: 307
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    Why are you with someone who is emotionally abusing you? I don't understand that. Someone who loves you DOES NOT call you names.
  • brickhouse76
    brickhouse76 Posts: 146
    Sounds like someone is jealous; misery loves company!
  • Pamela259
    Pamela259 Posts: 74 Member
    Congrats on your success this far!!! :flowerforyou: Dont let his jealousy and insecurities keep you from progressing! Sounds like you should find another SO...Personally, I would tell him to look in the mirror and go get it for him :huh: You're doing a wonderful job; keep it up!!!

    aahh i didnt think about him maybe being jealous( thats why bullies do what they do) next time i think i will just laugh and say sorry your so jealous

    thanx for the support everyone.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    my partner keeps telling me im fat getting fat little comments about my weight im 5ft 1 and weighed 13stone i now weigh less than 10stone i know i have about 2 stone left to lose but is it really too much to ask for a bitt of support plus hes not exactly skinny himself he is 5ft 9 and weight 225 maybee he shold go take a long hard look in the mirror.
    Why are you still with the loser?
  • chefyego
    chefyego Posts: 15 Member
    think he is insecure and wants the perfect partner at your health expense not his
    13 stone is not terrible (podgy not terrrible)
    10 stone is a nice size
    8 stone is gonna go to far
    but its how you feel that matters most
    i was 24st now 17.5st im happy enough
    my partner never complains just says take it easy and dont over do it
    as long as im happy its the main thing

    be true to yourself princess
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    It may just be your partner's insecurity talking. Talk it out with him. Tell him you need positive reenforcement.

    Congrats on losing the weight and keeping on your fitness improvement!
  • kbubbles87
    kbubbles87 Posts: 28 Member
    what a jerk! thats when i give the big f u and start squeezing his fat! maybe then he'll get the picture.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.
    ^This. :laugh:
    Seriously, though, no one worthy of the title "partner" should be tearing you down like that, evn if he was in perfect health. He may be struggling with his own insecurities, but that's not an excuse to treat you poorly.
  • wimeezer
    wimeezer Posts: 404 Member
    Sounds like he is jealous of your success cuz he should do the same. Probably also worried you'll leave him; which is a valid fear given his behavior! You deserve someone who appreciates you and supports your efforts in getting healthy!

    Don't let him stop you....you are fabulous and doing great! We are proud of you! x
  • joycehostetler
    joycehostetler Posts: 44
    That is hard. Kinda like relatives when you tell them how much you have lost and they say "Really, Where?"....:ohwell: It's a mental game for sure. I think he may feel jealous of you becasue you are actually looking good, and he is not. Some people have the personality of running people down because they themselves feel in inadequate, or threatened. Being short too is hard when you lose weight. We cannot lose 20 pounds and drop 4 dress sizes, :smile: ......so it takes longer to look good. Ha! I have lost 54 pounds and yes I was 296 at on 5" 1 1/2", and now I'm just beginning to feel good in 4X clothes...... The main thing is to know that you have done good, and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishment. .
  • Maggie821
    Maggie821 Posts: 55 Member
    Great job on all that you have accomplished! Perhaps he is just feeling insecure and afraid of losing you once you do reach your goals - that is a pretty common reaction. Maybe try sitting down with him and telling him how much it hurts you to hear him say that, and that you really care about him and need his support. If he turns a deaf ear to your honesty, then you will know he's not the one for you.
  • mariagabriella
    mariagabriella Posts: 267 Member
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

    this!

    you can do better! you deserve so much better than that.
  • charm_quark
    charm_quark Posts: 315 Member
    "he keeps telling me I'm fat"
    I'd tell him to get packing!!

    ok... this story gets me back for almost 7-8 years. I had a relationship then... I'm 5'6" and I weighted about 155-160 pounds (as I do now). He was telling me this all the time. I kicked him out of the house at the end.
    My husband (have been together 6.5 years) looks at me as if I am a goddess, same height, same weigh. Even when I gain he finds me perfect. Even when I see in the mirror a fatty, he sees me as a model.
    So.... I'm thinking that it is time for you to kick him out of your life and find someone who loves you for real! After 20 years our bodies will certainly not be the same. Why be with someone who has such superficial feelings???

    Hope you get what I mean, because my English are not so good!
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.
    ^^^^^^^^
    LOVE THIS POST!:wink:
  • sandylion
    sandylion Posts: 451 Member
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

    This.
  • SlinkyPinkyBunsOfSteel
    SlinkyPinkyBunsOfSteel Posts: 661 Member
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.
    Couldn't have said it better myself! I don't get it...you've lost a lot of weight and I bet you look great for it. How can he say you're GAINING weight? He's jealous and wants to put you down and make you feel as bad about yourself as he feels about himself. Get rid! :)
  • juicy_cat
    juicy_cat Posts: 145 Member
    seriously....get rid of him...i'm your height and am 10 stone 6 and my other half keeps telling me how fab I look...that is how it should be...your boyfriend is horrible...dump him and find someone who is kinder....their are loads of lovely decent guys out there...best of luck... :-)
  • Anamdalta
    Anamdalta Posts: 56
    Sounds to me like you need to lose about 225 pounds and 69 inches.

    Seconded, because, as LadyMisery says - why would you stay with someone who is emotionally abusive. Because that's exactly what that is.

    You can't make your partner stop being an emotionally abusive a**hole. But, you can certainly make the choice to not tolerate it, and leave an unhealthy relationship.

    Congratulations on your progress so far - you're doing so well, and you should be so proud of yourself!

    Be well.
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    <
    would NEVER be with a man who told me I was fat. EVER !
  • cocosmom
    cocosmom Posts: 5
    44 lbs is amazing! Do what feels best for your optimal health.... and your mental health - so drop the non-supportive partner -he's ovbviously not all that if he feels it necessary to call you fat....which is really an ugly way to speak to someone who is their "partner" you deserve better!
  • lousoulbody
    lousoulbody Posts: 663 Member
    Congratulations on you weight loss, positive support is what you are getting here, I'm sorry your partner wants to sabotage what you have worked at thus far. You stand to lose about 225 lbs of ugly fat, my heart goes out to you on this matter, please be good to yourself, you are very important:flowerforyou:
  • Valm0n
    Valm0n Posts: 88
    My GF complained about my weight and that made me sad -> depressed -> binge eating...
    I explained her and asked her to stop reminding my weight. Then I started MFP and lost 9lbs in 21 days, and she congratulates me for my loss and encourages me :smile:

    So my advice : tell him you need support, not blames, and that it would be benefit for both of you to diet together. Maybe try to act with him the way he acts with you and call him "fatty" :laugh:

    And if he doesn't change, then maybe you should find another man, because this one would definitely be a douche... :noway:
  • Mom_24
    Mom_24 Posts: 7
    Please be careful about staying in an emotionally abusive relationship. Besides the damage it can cause to your personhood. In the end it can have a negative effect on your physical health goals as well.
  • Pamela259
    Pamela259 Posts: 74 Member
    thanx everyone i will talk to him about it its not hindering my weight loss at all i dont have to do it for anyone but me
  • IMElektra
    IMElektra Posts: 65 Member
    If he cannot appreciate your weight loss achievements, then there's something wrong with him.

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