Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?

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  • casasruby
    casasruby Posts: 9
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    I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
    Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.

    Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
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    I'm surprised the guy lives in Tucson and can't find attractive women his age. People in AZ may not generally be as active or appearance orientated as say so cal but I would say on average there are a lot of in shape well put together people in AZ. And before you jump on my case this is all just IMO
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
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    I have to partly agree with the man's comment. I have many female family members and friends who think, well I got my husband so I don't have to care or worry about what I look like. Or I've heard, "oh heck, it's too hard so why bother". I don't agree at all. However, I am happily married and want to look/feel good for ME and my husband. I am in my upper 40's and many people think I am 10 years younger. I want to be a young 80 and be able to run and play with my grandchildren (when it happens) and even my great grandchildren. Yes, the guy sounded like a jerk - but what he wants is fair, how he came across was wrong. There are just as many men who don't take care of themselves either.

    :) Agree!
    double agree :))
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
    Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.

    Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
    He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.
  • citygirl04
    citygirl04 Posts: 286 Member
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    I can't speak for the older chicks he's aquainted with but from that letter he wrote I'm guessing that maybe they just have taste.
  • RixxyRikaa
    RixxyRikaa Posts: 71 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

    There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    What about socioeconomic status? Not everyone has the time or money to look like a runway model or even less.
    What you classify as a dignified, classy, beautiful woman may be different than someone else's view. If someone already feels good about the way they present themselves, and they just don't happen to match up with that, why should they change it?
  • casasruby
    casasruby Posts: 9
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    I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
    Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.

    Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
    He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.

    He was criticized for liking hot women. Some women think he is being picky. I read all the posts. Whats the problem, did I hit a nerve??
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
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    He isn't being picky in my opinion.
    He IS demonstrating why he is divorced.
    "Dear Abby" suggests to him "trollling" at the gym. I referred to this early on but this 'subtlety' has been ignored for nearly 17 pages.
    Be describes himself as "decent" appearance - could mean anything.
    He has surplus disposable income.

    I believe it is a troll

    I know many women in their 40s who are extremely attractive and "well turned out". If he isn't a troll then maybe he frequents a type of premises twhose clientelle appreciates his money but doesn't give a stuff about the man.

    Next please.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    I understand where this guy is coming from. If women can be picky about a man's height, weight, ethnicity, and wage, then a man can certainly be picky about how she presents herself. To be angry at this guy is to be angry at a natural human instinct.
    Good thing the part about his preference for very attractive women wasn't the part anyone took issue with then.

    Women tend to be more prejudice, but they want to be excused for it. When a man is picky he is criticized. I call it a double standard.
    He wasn't criticized for being picky, though.

    He was criticized for liking hot women. Some women think he is being picky. I read all the posts. Whats the problem, did I hit a nerve??
    Apparently the problem is that you lack reading comprehension skills. He is not criticized for "liking hot women." He is criticized for saying that women his age should realize how important hotness is to him and his cohorts and make efforts to satisfy their desires.
  • serena569
    serena569 Posts: 427 Member
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    I kind of agree with him too. I have many, many friends who got divorced then decided to take care of themselves and lose those extra 50 pounds. Men are visual creatures. Why wait until you lose the one you have?

    I don't buy that having kids made you gain weight either. My grandmother had 12. The youngest just turned 49. Grandma still puts her wedding dress on every year on her anniversary and it still fits.

    Ane, before you beat me up, I know I'm fat. And it's my fault.
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
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    In some south east countries, women are taught that once they have had children and/or they hit 40 years old, life is "over." She exists solely to look after her husband and children and ignore herself, so to speak. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking after and taking care of your loved ones but you can't effectively do that if your own health and well-being are ignored. During my stay in India, I saw so many not-that-old-yet women just walking along, shuffling their feet like every second is pure agony. Their hair is stringy and gray and you can tell they are not in good health yet they are not that old ... maybe in their forties. Who wants to live life like that??? I sure don't. Yet, sadly, in those cultures, it is the mindset.
  • missjennifer1966
    missjennifer1966 Posts: 143 Member
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    Yep!! some of these replies fit totally with this site. Some of you are so arrogant it is pathetic! I don't care how attractive someone is...if they have the personality some of you do, forget you!
  • TLynn0568
    TLynn0568 Posts: 36
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    I really don't see anything wrong with his request, assuming that he's looking for a woman that is within a reasonable weight range, dresses decently, has social manners and doesn't find bathing/grooming abhorrent. If he's looking for ONLY a designer label-clad, fake nails, hair, tan, and boobs mini-skirt wearing Goddess with mile-long legs as the only acceptable standard of attractive then yeah, he's probably a douche.

    But just saying that he doesn't find himself in the company of what would be normally desired as an attractive woman doesn't make him a putz. Everyone has a certain set of "standards." Now, how reasonable those standards might be are up for argument - he really didn't elaborate.

    I love how people will try to be righteous and say "looks don't matter" but ON THE SURFACE they do. Granted, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder so that what one might find attractive someone may not, but still...it's out there.

    I don't get offended by guys that don't like me because I'm 15 lb overweight - I'm hurt by it, of course, rejection sucks, but hey, they like what they like. I don't think it make a guy a jerk to say that he's into "fit" chicks, even if he's 20 lb overweight himself! Of course, the irony is NOT lost on me, either, but oh well. You can want what you want. And how's it go? People in hell want ice water...that don't mean they get it. :)

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