Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?

gingerjen7

Read this in the paper this morning. I thought it was worth sharing, as I'm positive there are some people who would really like to respond:

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I have reached a point in life where I can take trips and make time for me. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I'm in decent shape and considered a "catch" by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40s) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.

I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men I know also put a premium on a woman's appearance. Why don't women understand this? Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner for someone in my situation? -- MR. PARTICULAR IN TUCSON

My response would be:

Dear Mr Assface,

Perhaps single women your age have better things to do with their lives than preen for you. Or maybe they DO understand how important appearance is to you, they just don't give a ****.

Abby's response was a little more classy:

DEAR MR. PARTICULAR: Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn't net you what you're trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are charity fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman who meets your high standards -- providing you have enough assets of your own to merit her interest.

hamiltonba

I have to partly agree with the man's comment. I have many female family members and friends who think, well I got my husband so I don't have to care or worry about what I look like. Or I've heard, "oh heck, it's too hard so why bother". I don't agree at all. However, I am happily married and want to look/feel good for ME and my husband. I am in my upper 40's and many people think I am 10 years younger. I want to be a young 80 and be able to run and play with my grandchildren (when it happens) and even my great grandchildren. Yes, the guy sounded like a jerk - but what he wants is fair, how he came across was wrong. There are just as many men who don't take care of themselves either.

yoovie

I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

ArroganceInStep

What makes this ANY different from younger guys?

yoovie

Id like to find myself a hot man to accompany me through me life. If he doesnt care how he presents himself to the world, why should anyone else? If he cares in small things, he'll care in big things.

heh big lol

SuperSexyDork

I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

What she said ^^

zyxst

I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

THAT TWEETY BIRD SHIRT WAS MY MOM'S!

megalin9

I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

BAM!

Juliejustsaying

WTF??? Seriously? has this dude taken a look in the mirror? There is a reason my bf is 15 years younger than me...the hot older men here are an anomoly.

Angie__1MR

On that note, I will always be a MILF.

IamBlackMamba

I wouldn't consider him a catch.

BerryH

In my mid-40s, I find that men my age tend to have given up on their appearance whereas the women are well-groomed and keep themselves fit.

OR the phenomenon is entirely subjective and we're all looking for partners who looked like they did when we were last single, 20 years ago

HotCuppaJo

LOL....I loved your answer AND hers! Thanks for sharing... Some men kill me!

Sick_Beard

Different strokes for different folks Not all men are like that though

Skeels

That guy sounds like a total ****......

IamBlackMamba

WTF??? Seriously? has this dude taken a look in the mirror? There is a reason my bf is 15 years younger than me...the hot older men here are an anomoly.

You go girl! Mine's 8 years younger... This guy needs to get over himself.

barky586

I totally agree...so many tend to "frump out." I was one of them.....

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

he wants what he wants and his brave enough to be honest about it. I'd be willing to bet no woman wants a slouch, either. Difference is, she is just going to keep it to herself and/or maybe share it with her girlfriends rather than submit it to Dear Abby.

karenjoy

I see lots of women who are around my age who let themselves go, hell I am one of them, but I am trying to change, I also see men who have too, I would not want a man who wants me SOLELY for my appearance, and its not that good anyway, but I would want to make an effort, I also would appreciate the same in return, I want to get dressed nicely to go out, and I would want my man to feel the same.
This guy is being an *kitten*, but it is also true that a lot of PEOPLE stop making an effort, they lose themselves,. go to the store looking like they just got out of bed, I see people all the time and think WTF are you thinking?

There is making an effort because you have enough self esteem to do so, and there are *kitten*, there is a difference. We should all respect ourselves enough to make an effort for ourselves.

Lyssa62

the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

LavaDoll

"...the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip..."

*so* silly, i almost did a coffee spit-take!

and i agree: lazy and frumpy will lose to polished and pretty, at any age.

chivalryder

I have to agree with the man who wrote the letter. Everyone should always try to look their best every day. You never know who you might bump into while out in society. You might meet someone and randomly land your dream job, or dream spouse. People are also incredibly judgemental people. By not looking your best, you're not putting your best foot forward. You'll end up behind.

reasnableblonde

Perhaps he does not take care of himself as much as he thinks he does.

Too many men in my family enjoy pointing out when a large woman walks by (making really disgusting comments), yet do not appreciate being told they themselves are obese and not doing what they need to do. Goes both ways, fellas.

Martucha123

I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

What she said ^^

I also agree.
I want my man to be hot, I want to be hot for my man.
It does not mean I wear hills and make up all the time, but it does mean that even my sweats are cute and never streched or smelly. And I work out and watch my food to be hot, for me, for him, just because

I don't want to be with someone who does not take care of himself or not care if I'm attractive or not. I want my man to find me attractive and I'm ready to work for it.

SoViLicious

This man may have very high expectations. However I know a lot of women who "let them selves go". It is hard to juggle working and raising children, sometimes you can't find 10 minutes to yourself. many women find it easier to just throw on some comfortable clothing and pull their hair back. I happen to be one of those women who will put on my make-up while the kids eat breakfast. I also value my time and have decided that it is OK to invest in myself. I make myself a priority along with making sure everyone in my house is taken care of. Besides, I feel great when I wear nice things.

LesleeBeAlive

I'd have to agree, you're telling me women who are 40+ and in shape don't want a hot 40 yr old man who hasn't thrown his appearance away? Of course they do. Same thing. Would you be patronizing a woman for writing this to Abby?

Just sayin.

MB_Positif

the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

LOL

_Bob_

Shallow Hal needs a gal

Shara126

I agree here, but with one caveat.....if you really give a rip about looking put together and super sexy when making a mid Sunday afternoon run to Wally World for some TP you need to rethink your priorities. Just sayin!!

angelique_redhead

I don't suppose he's ever considered the fact that her former DH might have "traded her in" for a 20 something year old exotic dancer either and she's too busy raising two teenagers on the pittance he calls child support to buy the things to make her look better or to give a flying **** if she's hot or not. (True story. It happened to one of my friends.)

Laddiegirl

I see plenty of men in that same age range he's talking about with plenty of their own frump going on. Are there women who don't care at Walmart in Tweety Bird t-shirts, yes. But I see tons of men in sweat pants, saggy jeans, faded/dirty/torn t-shirts walking around like they're hot stuff and they're not even remotely in that catagory. I also see a lot more pressure on women to be highly groomed, well dressed, fit and put together than there is for men. There is a huge double standard when it comes to appearance for men and women.