Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?
Replies
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The only thing that really stood out for me in this post was the title.
...
I still don't understand it. It's fascinating.0 -
Bobby Clerici is writing to Dear Abby?
:drinker:0 -
thank you! my hubby is 10 years younger. I'm a hip old gal! Im 36 and been with my boy toy for 10 years. He was 17? shhhh.....
Yes, to the other poster he has heart failure and on a heart pump and doesnt work anymore. I got the prince, but he has a bad heart, but we are having a ball! I know I only got 3-4 years, but I love him and he loves me and he is my best friend.0 -
I know a lot of hot older women including my wife. Maybe he is hanging out in all the wrong places. I see lots of older women are hot. How hot is he?0
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I agree with those who see no issue with this man's comment. Some people care about looks. If that's what's important to him, it's his choice.
I would point out that men of a similar age also tend to 'let themselves go'. Nearly all of the men I know who are 35+ have a belly, and many have a double chin too. In fact, I would say men are more likely than women to let themselves go. And a lot of them dress like overgrown 5-year-olds: baseball caps, cargo shorts and sneakers seem to be popular in spite of how unattractive they are on grown men. (Though I have to say that for men, sloppiness doesn't seem to affect their ability to get a date. I guess women have other priorities besides appearances?)0 -
You're ability to ignore the parts that don't line up with your rant are amazing. Congratulations!When I see a girl downtown in skinny jeans, a bustier, and hooker boots I don't think anything of it. When I see that same woman walking into the grocery store like that, it's definitely a "WTF?" moment. I go to the grocery store to get groceries. What the hell do I need to dress like it's a bar for. Similarly, I saw a girl downtown fully made up with her hair all done and she was wearing flannel pajama bottoms, sandals, and a super tight tiny tank top. I just don't get it. But whatever. If it makes them feel good to do that, that's fine. Good for them. I hope they walk around feeling like they are the hottest thing there ever was.
1. Youre only allowed to be yourself downtown.
2. Youre only allowed to go do the thing you dressed up for - you CANNOT run errands ahead of time.
3. You MUST wear your outfit out - you CANNOT carry it in your bag and change upon arrival, whilst wearing comfy clothes in teh meantime.
4. IF you are going to a bar - you cannot be seen in public on your way there - you MUST teleport.
5. Everyone should seriously worry this much about other people's fashion and appearances or the world will fall apart.
6. Go care about her tank top! go! its completely vital to your existence and your personal quest for awesomeness!!!!!!!0 -
Read this in the paper this morning. I thought it was worth sharing, as I'm positive there are some people who would really like to respond:
DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I have reached a point in life where I can take trips and make time for me. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I'm in decent shape and considered a "catch" by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40s) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.
I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men I know also put a premium on a woman's appearance. Why don't women understand this? Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner for someone in my situation? -- MR. PARTICULAR IN TUCSON
My response would be:
Dear Mr Assface,
Perhaps single women your age have better things to do with their lives than preen for you. Or maybe they DO understand how important appearance is to you, they just don't give a ****.
Abby's response was a little more classy:
DEAR MR. PARTICULAR: Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn't net you what you're trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are charity fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman who meets your high standards -- providing you have enough assets of your own to merit her interest.
That is crazy!!! do you have any idea how hard it is to get into the Playboy Mansion0 -
"I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life." <--- This is not the offending comment.Seriously - what is wrong with this guy's comments?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting value on your partner's appearance.
Myself, I am not willing to settle for less and the result of that is that I have a girlfriend who is not only cool, funny, intelligent and loads of other stuff, but she is also frikkin hot as well! I don't feel bad in the least that I like how she looks and that appearance was part of my criteria.
It's not like he was saying it was all he cared about, but just that he did care about it.
"Why don't women understand this?"<--- This is.
Yeah, you're right in that regard. It was a bit of a dumb thing to say.
What he should have said was "why don't some women understand that physical attraction and presenting yourself well are some of the requirements for many men, including myself. It's pretty obvious from what I can gather."
Drafting skills are simply not what they used to be...0 -
This may be the best response yet.Read this in the paper this morning. I thought it was worth sharing, as I'm positive there are some people who would really like to respond:
DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I have reached a point in life where I can take trips and make time for me. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I'm in decent shape and considered a "catch" by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40s) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.
I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men I know also put a premium on a woman's appearance. Why don't women understand this? Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner for someone in my situation? -- MR. PARTICULAR IN TUCSON
My response would be:
Dear Mr Assface,
Perhaps single women your age have better things to do with their lives than preen for you. Or maybe they DO understand how important appearance is to you, they just don't give a ****.
Abby's response was a little more classy:
DEAR MR. PARTICULAR: Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn't net you what you're trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are charity fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman who meets your high standards -- providing you have enough assets of your own to merit her interest.
That is crazy!!! do you have any idea how hard it is to get into the Playboy Mansion0 -
A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
Most employers disagree.0 -
But, perhaps its the CHARACTER TRAITS that keep someone driven to stay in good shape that I am attracted to more, whether its motivation, focus, dedication, etc.
^0 -
I believe in taking care of myself.
However, I'm pretty sure I would not be interested in a middle-aged man who places *that* much of a priority on a woman's looks.0 -
Women are either hot or not (subjective, of course).
Clothes and make up are just marketing.0 -
Well it's not like there's a difference between how you look all the time and how you look at work, is there?
A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
Most employers disagree.
They can disagree all they want, but they can't do **** about it unless your contract states you must wear make up and dress in "figure flattering" clothing.0 -
I have to agree with the man who wrote the letter. Everyone should always try to look their best every day. You never know who you might bump into while out in society. You might meet someone and randomly land your dream job, or dream spouse. People are also incredibly judgemental people. By not looking your best, you're not putting your best foot forward. You'll end up behind.
if you are trying to look your best may I suggest putting a bag over your head, or losing the gay hat0 -
Precisely. The guy didn't say, "Why don't more women take the time to present themselves in a way that makes them feel good?" he said "Why don't women understand that single men want hot chicks and take measures to make that happen?"There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.
that's the same thing.0 -
A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
Most employers disagree.
Want to point out that, depending on the job, there are situations where wearing figure flattering clothing and makeup can be a detriment.0 -
"I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life." <--- This is not the offending comment.
"Why don't women understand this?"<--- This is.
How is that offensive? Im wondering the same thing myself... maybe I just dont understand your rant. Good luck and have a great day! :drinker:0 -
Sounds like he is looking for a trophy date, not a true partner for life. I don't consider myself frumpy at all, but with 2 kids under 10, you're likely to find me in gym clothes and a ponytail at the grocery store on a Saturday morning.0
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So you only feel good if single men want to date you? That makes me very sad for you. That's the same outlook my mom has. She has Borderline Personality Disorder.
Precisely. The guy didn't say, "Why don't more women take the time to present themselves in a way that makes them feel good?" he said "Why don't women understand that single men want hot chicks and take measures to make that happen?"There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.
that's the same thing.0 -
I think it depends on the circumstances. When I see a girl downtown in skinny jeans, a bustier, and hooker boots I don't think anything of it. When I see that same woman walking into the grocery store like that, it's definitely a "WTF?" moment. I go to the grocery store to get groceries. What the hell do I need to dress like it's a bar for? Similarly, I saw a girl downtown fully made up with her hair all done and she was wearing flannel pajama bottoms, sandals, and a super tight tiny tank top. I just don't get it. But whatever. If it makes them feel good to do that, that's fine. Good for them. I hope they walk around feeling like they are the hottest thing there ever was. My only problem is with the expectation that others should do the same. If you feel like the hottest thing there ever was in your sweat pants your ex's tattered Metallica T-Shirt with a pony tail and no make up, that's awesome. Go for it.I don't think theres anything shallow in wanting someone you are attractive to. But how high is he setting his standards? Maybe they aren't going after him because he seems like a jerk or all the good guys already got the best looking women. I will say sometimes I see women who look super frumpy with a good looking guy or just look frumpy in general and I'm like um seriously? But there is also a time and place for everything. I'm not going to wear a dress and high heels to go to the grocery store on a saturday afternoon unless I'm coming back from something fancy which is unlikely. However I am going to make sure I look decent in public. Some people are rough looking and don't even try and that goes for MEN and Women.
Isn't that what I said? lol Yes, time and place greatly depends on what I'm wearing.0 -
Well it's not like there's a difference between how you look all the time and how you look at work, is there?
A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
Most employers disagree.
They can disagree all they want, but they can't do **** about it unless your contract states you must wear make up and dress in "figure flattering" clothing.
wow - you really live a sheltered life lol - if I showed up at work in non flattering clothing and no makeup - id get reprimanded for not giving a sht0 -
Whats amazing is that you care so much that youre willing to argue with strangers all day about your right to be frumpy and still be considered hot
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Why is a successful and fit middle-aged man writing Dear Abby to find a date?
Exactly.
It's like I've always said: plenty more fish in the sea....
if you have a massive rod.
:laugh:
heh0 -
When my current boyfriends friends saw pictures of me they stated I was cute. When they found out I was pushing 50 they said I was HOT!
So some do take care of themselves or try to. If this *kitten* is so set on hot bodies why not go for the younger ones? Or sign up to be a Sugar Daddy?
Blah! :drinker:0 -
IMHO my husband is a handsome middle-aged man BUT does he preen?...Nope. Frankly his choice in clothing leaves a lot to be desired. ;-) So if the OP was a woman asking about men, this would be applicable to my husband.
I have to admit that I don't put on make-up everyday...he comes home to a fresh-faced woman in a ponytail most of the time (ponytail largely because I spend a lot of time cooking/baking and I don't want my hair creeping into the food)
With that in mind, I think it's all about making an effort for yourself. I like to feel pretty. In the summer when I run errands I love to put on a pretty sundress. :-)) And yes my hair and minimal make-up get thrown on prior to said errands :-))
~~~~~
The original letter writer? I have no problem with what he wrote. (as a middle-aged woman) Saying that, I think that people in general need to make more time for self. Yes, taking junior to soccer/choir/Scouts is important but parents need to find a way to carve out some personal time. Not easy but so critical :-))0 -
Well you wouldn't if all your self worth is tied up in men's opinions of you."I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life." <--- This is not the offending comment.
"Why don't women understand this?"<--- This is.
How is that offensive? Im wondering the same thing myself... maybe I just dont understand your rant. Good luck and have a great day! :drinker:
For the record, I don't think that women "don't understand" how important appearance is to men; I think it's far more likely that they just don't care because their feelings of worth come from confidence in who they are as people, not other people's opinions of them.0 -
Why is a successful and fit middle-aged man writing Dear Abby to find a date?
because we get deluded about ourselves and desperate, then we blame our failures on women not being hot enough !! Simples!!0 -
What do you do? Were you hired to look good or do you actually perform some sort of service that requires real skill?
Well it's not like there's a difference between how you look all the time and how you look at work, is there?
A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
Most employers disagree.
They can disagree all they want, but they can't do **** about it unless your contract states you must wear make up and dress in "figure flattering" clothing.
wow - you really live a sheltered life lol - if I showed up at work in non flattering clothing and no makeup - id get reprimanded for not giving a sht
If I got reprimanded for that, I'd report it to the better business bureau.0 -
Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
I agree. A woman can be a size 6 and look a hot mess. Its all in how you carry yourself. If you like yourself you will show that.0
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