Dear Abby, Why aren't don't older chicks try to be hotter?

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  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    the wrong attitude makes even the most handsome or beautiful absolutely ugly
    I have no problem with someone going after what they want in a partner, but when you think you *deserve* X, Y and Z, then that's really unattractive.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    I think its mostly because older, more mature women who really know who they are just don't give a rat's patootie what a guy like that thinks. Dollars to doughnuts...he is no prize. And shallow to boot.
  • snowdrop_diva
    snowdrop_diva Posts: 142 Member
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    You attract what you are - and obviously he hasn't realized he just may not be all that and a bag of chips too.
    LOL! Love it! That was perfect :drinker:
  • Denise1224
    Denise1224 Posts: 150 Member
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    Read this in the paper this morning. I thought it was worth sharing, as I'm positive there are some people who would really like to respond:

    DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced father of two children, one in college and the other in high school. I have reached a point in life where I can take trips and make time for me. I am well-educated and earn an above-average income. I'm in decent shape and considered a "catch" by many of the single women I encounter. But most of the women in my age bracket (mid-40s) or slightly younger no longer take care of themselves.

    I'm looking for a very attractive woman to accompany me through life. Most single men I know also put a premium on a woman's appearance. Why don't women understand this? Where would you suggest finding a suitable partner for someone in my situation? -- MR. PARTICULAR IN TUCSON

    My response would be:

    Dear Mr Assface,

    Perhaps single women your age have better things to do with their lives than preen for you. Or maybe they DO understand how important appearance is to you, they just don't give a ****.

    Abby's response was a little more classy:

    DEAR MR. PARTICULAR: Start at the nearest gym. If that doesn't net you what you're trolling for, another place to look would be the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles. Hef throws large parties there, many of which are charity fundraisers. Who knows? For a generous donation you might meet a woman who meets your high standards -- providing you have enough assets of your own to merit her interest.

    I saw this this morning also!! Couldn't believe it. Loved Abby's reply and LOVE yours too!!! This guy is as shallow as a kiddie pool!!!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

    Offensive. Ain't nothing wrong with being bald.

    /baldchaser
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    What an *kitten*!

    My hottest friends IRL and MFP are over 40. I rarely accept a FR from under 30, but do give everyone a chance.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
    A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

    Offensive. Ain't nothing wrong with being bald.

    /baldchaser
    I won't lie; I totally had a crush on the bald pharmacist at the clinic pharmacy in my hometown. He reminds me of Stanley Tucci. HOT!
  • andreanicole686
    andreanicole686 Posts: 406 Member
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    I don't think theres anything shallow in wanting someone you are attractive to. But how high is he setting his standards? Maybe they aren't going after him because he seems like a jerk or all the good guys already got the best looking women. I will say sometimes I see women who look super frumpy with a good looking guy or just look frumpy in general and I'm like um seriously? But there is also a time and place for everything. I'm not going to wear a dress and high heels to go to the grocery store on a saturday afternoon unless I'm coming back from something fancy which is unlikely. However I am going to make sure I look decent in public. Some people are rough looking and don't even try and that goes for MEN and Women.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

    Offensive. Ain't nothing wrong with being bald.

    /baldchaser
    I won't lie; I totally had a crush on the bald pharmacist at the clinic pharmacy in my hometown. He reminds me of Stanley Tucci. HOT!

    Stanley Tucci could get it.
  • saustin201
    saustin201 Posts: 270 Member
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    In my experience, I know many women who take good care of themselves. Most take pride in their appearance even if they are overweight. Their hair, face, nails, and clothing are well groomed. Some of the younger people I know walk around with pajama fleece pants on 24/7.

    Whereas I know many men who've let themselves go.

    I am overweight and unless I am sick (like today) refuse to leave the house without hair, face and clothing presentable and clean. I almost always wear eye makeup even if I am working around the house that day. I want to look good for me. I feel more complete with some make up on.
  • NJSunshine13
    NJSunshine13 Posts: 116
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    Every woman (and man for that matter) should have a little pride in themselves when they walk out the door. Sometimes sweatpants and a t-shirt can be sexy, but not every day. Sexy isn't about being a size 2. Buy clothing that compliments your body, put a little make up on if you're looking a little pale and most importantly wear your smile. First impressions can never be repeated, so make yours count.
    A person who is proud and confident in comfortable clothing without make up is far more attractive than someone who thinks showing pride means you have to alter your appearance.
    A little lipstick does not "alter your appearance". A little mascara will make your eyes brighter. I'm not talking a clown face. Personally, I don't wear make up, but know I look better with a little mascara.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    What makes that Dear Abby letter even worse is that this guy is from Tucson, AZ. So many hot, older women all over the place...showing a lot of skin and being very active. I don't understand what this guy is talking about...he is in the mecca of hot older women.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    People routinely go on diets, take up exercise, improve their appearance, get their hair styled, by stylish clothes, try and get a better job all to attract members of the opposite sex. Obviously it's not the only things individuals look for but they are factors.

    Say that any of that is important or maybe even necessary though and people seem to lose their minds.

    It's not shallow to want your partner to look good or have secure employment or what not. It's not horrific to expect that either.

    To believe people shouldn't consider factors other than what's on the inside is a lovely romantic ideal but divorced from reality.

    Stack those chips in your favour....
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I have absolutely no problem with this man's comment. Im often surrounded by women my age plus 10-15 and I cannot believe how much freaking frump is happening.

    There is a difference between preening to look good for some man, and walking out into the world head high as a dignified, classy, beautiful well put together woman. In an outfit you planned, with fresh skin and a little makeup, clean healthy hair and a bounce in your step because you feel good about the way you present yourself to the world.

    I kinda feel like anyone else who gets mad at this is the people that show up at Walmart at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon in stained jogging pants and a tweety bird tshirt with their hair in a lopsided banana clip, angry that men always go for hot chicks.

    This 1,000 times.
  • Briteblu
    Briteblu Posts: 71
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    LOL @ Dear Mr Assface!
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    I've dated women from a size 2 to 22 and I must say I love a woman who takes pride in how she looks.

    I live in a town with lots of frump women and men who don't take care of themselves.


    I believe in taking care of myself for self improvement purposes.

    Sorry ladies but the man who wrote the Article has the right to be with whatever type of woman he wants!!


    I dont hate on women who want to Marry successful men.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    the funny thing about this is..you can bet the guy writing it is fat and bald.

    doubt it
  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
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    It depends on where you live too. But to be honest if I wasnt married and I was looking for a mate then I would dress the part, but I am married so I never really notice guys around me. I'm too busy to care. I dress up at work, but I am a tomboy and like basketball shorts and t-shirts. I also have a 2 year old and go to college and work full time, so yeah I'm tired. I could care less what other people think. At work yes, off of work no. Too many people care about what others think and thats part of the problem.

    I think people take marriage lightly and some are shallow because they havent grown up. It's nice to have that trophy husband or wife, but when the doo doo hits the fan is that pretty arm candy gonna be there when you get laid off or worse yet, some terminal ill disease and you cannot work out anymore and you really need a true partner? People don't think like that. My husband is dying slowly and it hurts me everyday, but my husband never has to worry about who will take care of him and am I looking out for his best interest. He knows I am. We have a storybook love affair and we married because of trust. In all honesty my husband was not my first choice, but I let love guide me and got with the person that respected me and was my best friend. I use to be shallow, but I grew up and got over it.

    The butterflies in the stomach and the swell of romantic love wears off eventually. Too many people see that as true love, but it's not. True love is, respect, honestly, a good job, great credit, stability and good parental skills. Looks fade, but stupid is forever.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    Seriously - what is wrong with this guy's comments?

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting value on your partner's appearance.

    Myself, I am not willing to settle for less and the result of that is that I have a girlfriend who is not only cool, funny, intelligent and loads of other stuff, but she is also frikkin hot as well! I don't feel bad in the least that I like how she looks and that appearance was part of my criteria.

    It's not like he was saying it was all he cared about, but just that he did care about it.

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