Upset people because you DONT drink alcohol

Sharon009
Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why do people get upset when you choose NOT to drink alcohol. This has perplexed me forever and I would like to know the answer from the 'upset' people. Dont get me wrong I enjoy beer and wine. But last night I was at a sports bar with some people and I only drank diet coke because I was watching my calories which I will do quite often, 3 of the people with me made a comment about my not drinking. I mean, what is the big deal. I have never once cared if someone drinks or not but since I started this fitness journey over a year ago, people will often made snide or friendly comments to me. Oh and God forbid if you answer them that you are 'dieting', you will get a hail storm of comments, I just said I had a stomach ache (which was true also).
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Replies

  • diinva
    diinva Posts: 57
    I deal with this also. I take a medication that states "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS MEDICATION". Even when I tell people that I still get - oh you can still have one. Very annoying.
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
    I'm not much of a drinker myself, but I'm sure it was a combination of many things. Perhaps you should have asked them why they cared so much instead of a forum which likely will not answer your question.

    I never understood why people here can never be direct with issues concerning their friends.
  • UrbanSpaceman75
    UrbanSpaceman75 Posts: 31
    I don't drink at all, and I've occasionally received comments that felt a little more harsh than ordinary jokey banter. But as I've got older I've found that happens less and less.... if I don't drink now, I'm hardly about to start.

    But I can imagine that it's more noticeable for people who sometimes drink alcohol when they choose not to. I also wonder if people are more likely to notice women not drinking and start to speculate....

    I think a lot of people can be threatened by the efforts made by others to lose weight, but I think we can do our bit by not taking those kind of remarks too much to heart.
  • emilybeatrice1
    emilybeatrice1 Posts: 163 Member
    i cant seem to conquer this peer pressure and always end up drinking every weekend
  • freedomischaos
    freedomischaos Posts: 25 Member
    It is because they have an instant ice breaker and common task and alcohol makes you feel good and so you want other people to feel good too.
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    Obviously it's because your actions is causing them to feel more conscious about their decision "to" drink. I get that reaction quite often, especially during business dinners. I just ignore them and tell them I am choosing to live a healthier lifestyle now. I still drink occasionally but, it's always low-cal alcoholic beverages. I would say to hell with their opinions.
  • TaylorsGranddad
    TaylorsGranddad Posts: 453 Member
    My ex used to give my crap when we went out as I didn't drink, due to dieting and being a real lightweight too.

    I also DJ and people REALLY don't get that I don't drink when I DJ too..... I say so many times, but I'm working lol
  • newhabit
    newhabit Posts: 426 Member
    they probably think you can't have any fun with them if you don't join in. it's just something people do for social support. they think if you are not, somehow it makes you judging them. i've run into this a few times. people will actually get mad at me. or they will say "just have one"... well if i don't want to, i don't. it is such a weird thing. who cares really if i drink or not. i want to say "just worry about yourself"
  • Medwayguy
    Medwayguy Posts: 69
    Quote : Perhaps you should have asked them why they cared so much instead of a forum which likely will not answer your question.

    I guess she was just using the forum to off-load her thoughts.

    An much older version of this was/is too, write down you concerns/fears/negativity and burn the paper. The ashes drift on the wind ergo it is taken from you.....

    Modern times = forum. I doubt she is truly looking for an answer from us ;)
  • 13turtles
    13turtles Posts: 183 Member
    I hate this as well. I spoke to one friend who was concerned that if she drank and I did not, that we could not longer go to bars, or that I might be offended by the drinking. I told her to drink whatever she wanted, because it made no difference to me. She does, and we are still friends. Now, when we go out, I typically say that I am the designated driver in case someone needs one. That seems to work.
  • francesiax
    francesiax Posts: 53
    I get this too. I've started to resort to saying really loudly "I'm a recovering alcoholic" shuts them up and gives me a little giggle in the process.
  • mejiapatty
    mejiapatty Posts: 6
    tell me about it!
    I dont drink at all i think i only had a drink when my 21st bday happened, and let me tell you i dont see why people get all worked up and the next day a killer head ach. there are times when they want to peer presure me and i say no and sometime even make comments back. But i can tell the mood changes when i decline.
  • shellydd
    shellydd Posts: 156 Member
    as a former drinker a couple thoughts come to mind why people might EXPECT you to drink booze vs soda. BARS are social alcohol settings where it's expected everyone will booze up on the forbidden liquid. It might be a preceived notion that you're being jugdemental towards those who are indulging in a toddy or two. Also, plan and simple. you are showing discipline and discipline/restraint is something, few and far between, people will show when in a bar.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    I take a medication that states "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS MEDICATION".

    That's the best time to have a drink!
  • suztheq
    suztheq Posts: 168 Member
    The only people who have gotten "upset" with me not drinking on a particular night are the ones who either have a drinking problem or are on the edge of having a problem. While I will admit that it is fairly infrequent to see me without a drink in my hand at a party or a bar, most people don't realize that I only have one or two drinks all night. That's something a lot of my friends could never do. Once they have one, they'll have six.
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
    I'm not much of a drinker myself, but I'm sure it was a combination of many things. Perhaps you should have asked them why they cared so much instead of a forum which likely will not answer your question.

    I never understood why people here can never be direct with issues concerning their friends.

    I did ask them, they just made up some stuff about drinking beer while watching a game. Also and it doesnt matter, they werent my friends, I was with a group of people and these 3 were new to me.
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
    I hate this as well. I spoke to one friend who was concerned that if she drank and I did not, that we could not longer go to bars, or that I might be offended by the drinking. I told her to drink whatever she wanted, because it made no difference to me. She does, and we are still friends. Now, when we go out, I typically say that I am the designated driver in case someone needs one. That seems to work.

    I do this too! I often have a glass of wine early in the evening, then drink diet coke the rest of the night.
    Some bars will give the designated driver free soft drinks! (soda pop)
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
    I don't drink at all. I believe its more of a social thing if anything. When you get older the last you get harassed about it.
  • bigdawg62
    bigdawg62 Posts: 127 Member
    For the same reason that people feel like you should eat like a pig at Thanksgiving. If everyone else is doing it, then they dont like a few people not doing it, its group think. They need to validate that what they are doing is ok because after all, everyone is doing it. So its the same with booze. Nobody wants a teetotaler hanging out with them if they want to have more than a few. It makes them look bad. I dont drink, and I dont care what anyone thinks. If they dont like it then they can find a new friend. They should be glad at least someone can drive.
  • xkdrowex
    xkdrowex Posts: 107 Member
    Maybe it's because you're beautiful and they're hoping if you have a few drinks you'll start dancing on the bar? :)
  • mamaclose
    mamaclose Posts: 179 Member
    Since I began this journey in January I gave up drinking the way I used to. I still have a few beers on the weekends, but at the beginning (this Spring) I didn't drink at all. I probably went a few months without a beer. I lost most of my "friends" because I wouldn't drink with them.

    I'm okay with that though, because I feel better about myself.
  • husker_gal
    husker_gal Posts: 462 Member
    I drink very very rarely because I am an EXTREME lightweight due to an alcohol allergy....and that's what I tell people. Then if they are still being rude and nasty about it and if I'm just really done with listening to them, I'll throw the "Well when you're trying to get knocked up you really shouldn't be drinking that crap!' in their face. It usually shuts them up and makes them feel awkward. :P
  • vabchloser
    vabchloser Posts: 223 Member
    I think people want to have fun and think they can't have fun unless you're having fun. I don't know.

    I had a friend ask me out the other day for a drink (that was the point of the outing), I said I'd rather not go out to drink and followed it up by saying for health reasons (duh, my diet, but everyone doesn't need to know that I'm dieting) and he's like, "Oh, are you pregnant?" I wanted to say m*^$&r-f&@%#r!!!! It actually pissed me off pretty bad.
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
    It is because they have an instant ice breaker and common task and alcohol makes you feel good and so you want other people to feel good too.

    Love this answer!
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
    cause they think "people who don't drink booze are goody goodies" little do they know
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    Say you have an allergy!
    Say you are the designated driver.
    Say you don't feel like it.
    Say 'No amount of alcohol is going to make your jokes funny!'
    Say 'Cos I don't like it''

    Then change the subject, their alcohol sodden minds will forget soon!
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    black sheep don't get slaughtered at night. think about it.
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
    I get this too. I've started to resort to saying really loudly "I'm a recovering alcoholic" shuts them up and gives me a little giggle in the process.

    HA! Love it. Will have to try that one time.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    the truth always works

    you want to stay clear headed because you have a project you need to work on later (the project is your health)

    you dont want to risk a DUI

    you cant afford the empty calories today

    you dont want to turn into a moron in 20 minutes

    you decided to only drink on (whatever day it isnt)
  • Dovekat
    Dovekat Posts: 263 Member
    I don't drink and when I used to go out with my cousins (when I was 18) they would try to make me. They even spiked my drink a few times but that didn't work because I could taste the vodka. I decided that in the end it really had nothing to do with me drinking at all, it had to do with them wanting to justify the amount they drank to "Have a good time". In the end I stopped going because of their constant peer pressure. Of course I was labelled a "Prude" for doing so :laugh:

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