EXTREME weight loss & divorce

124»

Replies

  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!

    IN.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    bump well this could get interesting:smokin:
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!
    Wow strong first post!:huh:
    Even stronger second post:sick:

    ETA: Where is the context for calling someone out for cheating, and the *kitten* comment seems like you are venting some personal issues once again with little context.

    You seem angry, did somebody hurt you or are you riding some imaginary high horse?
  • VBnotbitter
    VBnotbitter Posts: 820 Member
    bump well this could get interesting:smokin:
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!
    Wow strong first post!:huh:
    Even stronger second post:sick:

    ETA: Where is the context for calling someone out for cheating, and the *kitten* comment seems like you are venting some personal issues once again with little context.

    You seem angry, did somebody hurt you or are you riding some imaginary high horse?

    Oh my :noway: I'm so in to see where this is going
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    This is apparently quite common, but I think it happens for many reasons.

    1. The person that has lost weight becomes more confident in themselves, and perhaps issues within the relationship crop up that they weren't willing to face before.

    2. The other partner is jealous and/or unsupportive.

    3. Paranoia - the other partner is convinced that when all the weight is lost and their husband/wife is essentially more attractive, they will find someone else.

    4. Differences in interests arise. The person making changes discovers exercises they like, new friends that like said exercises, and a gradual divide begins.

    5. Food can be a big part of a relationship. No more ordering takeaways in front of the TV. No more meals out 4 times a week. Perhaps you don't eat the same dinners any more. Routines change.


    I would like to think that if any relationship broke up because one person lost weight, that there were either issues there to begin with they simply weren't right for each other. It's all about compromise - from both sides.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!


    Oh wow.

    This-is-gonna-be-good.gif
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    In because, well.....


    funny-gifs-when-a-couple-fights-and-she-says-how-small-it-is1.gif
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!

    Shots fired

    ...over a year later
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    My extreme weightless happened after divorce. I look better now than ever. And he hates that. To bad, so sad for him.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!

    Shots fired

    ...over a year later

    MJTHRILLERdance.gif
  • catchtheislands
    catchtheislands Posts: 25 Member
    Some people change and some people do not.
  • iamMLH
    iamMLH Posts: 101 Member
    Several good points have already been made: it can raise insecurities in the person who doesn't lose the weight and raise confidence in the person who does. Keep in mind that in order to make a huge change, you need to become a different person, and your husband may just not like that person as much. It's also possible that as you become someone new, you won't like him as much. Those are very reasonable reactions.

    Here are two other things I would ask you to consider:
    You said you would always love him because he was with you through bad times. That may be noble, but it's not very flattering, and it implies (at least to me) that you love him for how he made you feel previously and not because of the relationship you have now. Also, rather than working through this with a man you have spent years with, you are posting it to a bunch of strangers who don't really know either one of you.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    In because, well.....


    funny-gifs-when-a-couple-fights-and-she-says-how-small-it-is1.gif

    I made that exact face IRL.
  • dpbace
    dpbace Posts: 5
    That is hilarious!!!
  • getdancing2013
    getdancing2013 Posts: 72 Member
    my husband was NOT supportive of my weight loss. he has never been very active and has no idea about nutrition, but he also is NOT overweight. He says he loved me the way I was and wanted to know WHY I needed to change. 3 months ago, I left him. We are divorcing. We were married for 4.5 years and we had our issues, but him not supporting me in something like losing weight, was a HUGE eye opener!


    I guess it had nothing to do with the fact that you were cheating on him!!!

    45948-oh-snap-gif-AxPt.gif

    oh_snap-5928.gif
  • dpbace
    dpbace Posts: 5
    Again- HILARIOUS!
  • arykh24
    arykh24 Posts: 64
    Nope. It had nothing to do with the fact that your husband was cheating on YOU.
  • jkowula
    jkowula Posts: 447
    My husband has voiced his worries to me about if I will "leave him" after I lose a bunch of weight. I told him "You met me at 220 lbs. I'm now down to 208, and even once I get to my goal weight I will not leave you. Because you loved me and accepted me the way I was at 220 lbs (and my highest 280) and that means alot to me!" I love this man and whether I'm fat or thin, I'll always love him the same!

    I haven't read all the pages of this thread, but THIS just made my day!
    Thanks for that...
  • dpbace
    dpbace Posts: 5
    Nope. It had nothing to do with the fact that your husband was cheating on YOU.

    *kitten* are great at not owning their responsibility in the failure of a relationship. MY husband and I are still together. He admitted his HUGE mistake in having anything to do with your nasty *kitten*! Take responsibility for YOUR part in being a bad person and a lying cheating skank!
  • sugarkissprincess
    sugarkissprincess Posts: 2,595 Member
    I have know my husband for 17 years, dated off and on in school and married when we were 24. He had already known me at my lightest and heaviest and we decided to get married. When we married I was almost 300 pounds, my dress was a size 24. We were happy, but I had noticed shortly after that it seemed as though he was constantly mentioning my HS weight and back then. He always wanted to go out with friends and never out with me. He has never been overweight so I can't really say that I can relate there but it seemed as though he was ashamed to take me out, hang out with me or show me off as his wife... until I lost the weight. 7 years later and he's extremely insecure, wants to go every where with me, doesn't hang out with his friends anymore and is always paying more attention to the guy not looking at me then me.

    My opinion is that regardless if you both lost it together or not or plan to or in my situation.. they see what we have become and the attention we are getting and they know that others are finding us attractive and that creates a threat and like my husband ... is now insecure and he is causing the problems which .... can lead to divorce. Who wants to work this hard to look good and their spouse treat them bad..

    Again this is just my opinion and please don't think this is obviously how it is with all the couples .. just my story. I am still married.. however we are discussing divorce for many other reasons as well.

Categories