Why do people.......
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I totally agree however i think you can get a good idea of the people that do have an idea regarding nutrition by profile pictures etc. People should be smart enough to realise who is speaking sense
My diary s completely public, and I eat what I love, I have made changes as I go along but I won't eat stuff I don't enjoy, it doesn't matter how healthy it is if I dislike it. There are also certain things I refuse to give up because I love them.
That being said I disagree with your thought that you can tell who health experts are based on their profile pictures. I have seen people with seemingly healthy looking pictures give horrible advice and people with not the best pictures give great advice. Not to mention we really have no idea who's picture is really them. Every piece of advice on this site should be taken with a grain of salt.0 -
Who says I want anyone's advice?....Not have their food diary available for friends to see, the amount of knowledge on this site will be vast and by scrutinising your diary's people will be able to give you some great advice.
basically.....get your diarys out!0 -
Because I don't need or want congratulations on eating, I don't need or want a critique of what I'm eating, and I don't need or want advice on how to eat better. I know where I am going wrong, if I'm going wrong, and what I can change. For the most part I'm pretty happy with my diet, although there's always room for improvement. There are masses of different opinions on this site of what constitutes a "healthy" diet (paleo? atkins? veggie? "clean"? IIFYM? low fat? low carb? raw vegan?); if someone decides to give me advice on my diet, chances are they'll either be telling me something I already know, or they'll have a completely different outlook on how to eat than I do.
I do have mine open sometimes, because I know people like to get ideas. After a while though, I usually get put off by people thinking they're being helpful, but really being judgemental. If at some point I want advice from people on my list, or on the boards, obviously I would open it up. Equally, although I occasionally look in other people's diaries (curiosity/nosiness) I'm not going to start giving advice or making suggestions unless someone specifically asks. None of my business. I notice people commenting on my friends' diaries and the comments can sometimes be a little patronising, in my opinion. If that works for some people, great, but I don't need a parental figure on here, keeping me on track.
The comments you've made on this thread are fine, but there are some seriously judgemental people around. I noticed on one of LorinaLynn's success story threads, for example, multitudes of congratulations (quite rightly so) and then one person turning up to say something like "OMG why are you all congratulating her? Have you seen what a disgrace her diary is? She eats all kinds of crap like pizza! Why are you congratulating someone who has lost weight eating crap?" etc etc. I guess some people don't mind that kind of criticism, but maybe I'm more of a sensitive flower. :ohwell:
I guess it also comes down to how you use the site. I'm here primarily to log my food and count calories. I also like reading the message boards. The whole diary sharing feature is just not of much interest to me.0 -
I would like to know why ppl friend you if they cannot "handle" you. Why ask to be my friend then get upset about what I post?
And I'm not even a mean person! I'm not even a super blunt person.
I say if you can't handle me, delete me. Or don't friend strangers if you can't handle the potential that that might be honest, open, or like sharing their own thoughts. That they might want to talk to you, and it might not always be peachy keen kiss butt proper etiquette type bs.
rant done. :grumble:0 -
My diary is closed so that I can stay honest with ME! For me, if it was open I might omit things or quick add calories on an off day. I don't like getting scolded.0
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Mine is open to my friends
(*To add, I'm not looking for feedback when I submit every night. And I also almost never look at any of my friends foods and would only provide feedback if they asked)0 -
The reason I don't is because last time I was on this site about 18 months ago a "friend" looked at my diary on a very low calorie day (which was not a typical day) and just blasted me for it. She wouldn't stop. I did not ask for her advice, I did not ask her to look at my diary, i was just fine. When I asked her to just drop it she started slamming me to her other friends.
I'm here to lose weight and logging helps me to do that but I don't need that kind of hassle. As long as I'm under my calories I'm fine. If I want advice I'll come to the boards and ask for it.
Shua0 -
Let me just say that I have NOT read every response on here so if I repeat something, forgive me.
I personally find it frustrating when I get the alert that a friend has logged in and was under their caloric goal and I don't see what they ate ESPECIALLY when this friend is dropping weight like hot cakes!!
Do I want to see the diary to be nosy, NO. Would I like a general idea of what to do differently or ways to change up my meal, YES!
I log everything from the bite of this, to the lick of that... I post it and if my friends comment, I respond. If they don't I move on. I think the whole point of MFP is to get HEALTHY. Well, at least for me it is! No judging.. no time to be petty. If you SEE me doing something wrong, as a friend - correct me!
Let me add that I'm sorry to hear all the stories of people who have been blasted by "friends" and have become soured.0 -
Here is where the different ways different people see things pops up.I kinda wish the few friends I have would give a tiny bit more feed back. I've had a few rough days and one day I went out for mexican with the parents and pizza for dinner I had two great jobs /: Really great job for mexican and pizza???. Not one person said something about eating more veggies, or getting more protein in.
I will say "good job" regardless of what you ate if you came in under goal. For me that is the deciding factor between a 'good' or 'bad' day. For people I know well...maybe having mexican and pizza but skipping the farm breakfast *is* a good job.0 -
Exactly!I'm here to lose weight and logging helps me to do that but I don't need that kind of hassle. As long as I'm under my calories I'm fine. If I want advice I'll come to the boards and ask for it.0 -
Reason #1: Getting unsolicited advice backfires for me.
To answer this same question for at least the 4th time, it's because some people (myself) don't like getting unsolicited advice. I'm doing the best I can and I barely making it as is. If I tried to do everything perfectly, it'd stress me out. To make the stressed out situation worse, I'm a stress binger. Basically my world works like this:
1.Open diary
2. Receive one comment like "Looks good but you should eat less sodium"
3. Start lying because I think people are watching me
4. Binge from stress of being watched plus other life stresses (medical school)
5. Quit because I get frustrated.
Sounds exaggerated? For you it probably is. For me, this is a very unpleasant reality that I am coping with. I am a messed up person. I accept this and do what I can to work around it.
Reason 2: I just find it creepy to know I can be watched
Again, probably not most people's first reaction. However, I just get this eerie vibe whenever I think about the idea that a total stranger can see what I'm eating. If you don't great for you. I'm not you and you're not me. Go for the open diary hip hip hooray just leave me out of it.
Reason 3: No one on this forum can agree on what is "the best" and people love to "help" when you're not doing what has worked for them.
Vegan, low carb, no carb, high carb, high protein, low protein, starvation, vegetarian, earth friends meat eater, low sodium, supplements everywhere, lean shake, skinny girl, no alcohol, no pork, no red meat, no fish, paleio, whole grains, portion control, binge days, more veggies, more fruit, no wheat, gluten free, weight watchers, soy free, almond, milk, whole milk, raw diet, no juice, no soda, no sugar, low calorie, eat more to weigh less, no splenda...
:sad: MAKE IT STOP MY HEAD HURTS!
The only thing we have all agreed on so far is that drinking water is probably a good idea.
If I strictly advice from just three of those listed above all at once, I could have a diet that is totally impossible for me and probably unhealthy because it would involve eating nothing.
Reason 4: Why would I open myself to being judged if I know I won't like it?
Just yesterday a girl started a topic complaining all her friend's ate crap and that because they did they would never get anywhere. Aside form the fact that this is not my experience (I ate ice cream and lost 10 lbs, oh lordy!), Just reading the post stressed me out. I replied a few times to the topic and then realized that it was better for me to just let it go because it was not worth it.
Other people on this forum have received mail to the effect of "had a cocktail last night? YOU'LL BE FAT FOREVER!"
I don't like being judged for what I eat. I try very hard to to judge others for what they eat. Therefore, opening my diary to a potential problem doesn't seem like a good decision to me.
Reason 5: I'm not a people person.
I have friends on this website. I like hearing their silly little comments and laughing with them about life. However, when it comes to goal setting for exercise and weight loss, I have a VERY VERY internal locus of control. I don't want help because only I can do this.
TL:DR: Because I don't want too.
Edited because I was being rude to the OP. I apologize.0 -
For those of us who have suffered from eating disorders, or are in the midst of recovering, a food diary, calories in and out log is a recipe for disaster, we are obsessive enough as it is....
p.s. I never look at anyone else's diary, unless they ask for help directly with regards to it, then it is their business.0 -
That's just it -- I don't want advice, and I don't want my diary to be scrutinized. I've heard awful stories here about people's diaries being picked apart by strangers. Not my cup of tea.0
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I think that if I opened my diary I may not be entirely honest about what I'm eating for fear of being ripped to shreds. People are very judgemental on here.
I keep it to myself. I know my failings without being told.0 -
Bc I eat the same thing every day, lol0
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I think all the reasons for having an open diary or a private one are good reasons. I don't have mine public because of threads like "your eating less crap, but your still eating crap"
I just started on this site, but lost 115lbs on SP (I am only here because this site links to BMF) But after reading everyone's negative comments on mentioned thread, I would never have an open food diary here.0 -
Don't be a whiney baby because someone comments that you're eating garbage, but want the body of a god.
If you want the body of a god, eat like a god.
If you just want to loose weight then just eat less and slightly smarter.
Otherwise, stop cryin'. Esh. Get realistic ideas if what your body/weight/ and food do for each other. They should line up.0 -
I agree it's everyone's right to post or not post their actual diary, but that's like agreeing that everyone has a right to breathe. I think way the question was phrased might have caused people to not see what I feel is the real message.
To me, it seems Tenster is a genuinely good person trying to encourage people to make the best use of MFP and reach their physical potential. I applaud him for caring about others and willing to offer his help. His picture seems to show he knows something about getting in shape.
My wife and I revamped our diet and got back into an active lifestyle. I've reduced my weight by 45 pounds in just under 4 months. I feel I must have lost more fat than that, replacing it with some muscle, so for now I'm happy with how I'm doing.
But I let myself get to 250 pounds and know along the way, I'll hit slower spots. No one needs to open themselves up to comments, but I think Tenster is saying this site offers untapped help to people. But it can require us to open up about something we might not like, being under a stranger's scrutiny. I don't love the idea of it, but if I'm serious about getting myself in prime shape (as prime as my 45 year-old body will allow) I personally need to do the step.
Again, maybe the wording could have been different, but it doesn't stop if from being a damn good suggestion.0 -
I have mine open to friends, but I recently turned off the postings to my wall when I "complete" a day, because, frankly, the "good jobs" are pretty much useless to me, especially when I know I didn't do such a great job, and I only really want advice if I ask for it, although I do appreciate it when it is offered. I don't tend to peruse other people's diaries at all unless asked to. Just my own personal preference... I know what I am supposed to be doing. If I don't do it, I know that, too. I realize that some people don't, and if they ask for help, I will gladly give it, but for ME, being offered unsolicited advice puts me on the defensive, because of my OWN issues, so I try to avoid that as I can while I work through said issues...
if that even makes sense. lol...0 -
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jfrog123/view/why-my-mfp-diary-is-private-227790
an individuals story which englightened me to why some individuals have a closed diary, as I myself asked the same question...0 -
I have mine open to the public. I love advice from friends and others... even if they don't exactly match what I find works best. Some advice works... some doesn't. Right now... I have a GREAT set of friends, who is very supportive (even if they don't eat the same way). Right now, I follow the doctor's orders of 1500 calories a day. Sometimes I eat a few of my exercise calories back... but, I never eat them all back (or anywhere close).0
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mine is posted (at least I think it is) because I need to be accountable to someone, everyone. even perfect strangers. keeping it to myself has not worked at all in the past. i want and need feedback from people. i want to succeed and i know i can't do it alone anymore.0
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who wants cake0
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who wants cake
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I personally don't see the need to keep my diary open. I have found MFP fairly easy since I started and have stuck to my calories and have been losing. If I was struggling or needed constant advise I would consider keeping it open. However I hate the idea of people looking at my diary and offering suggestions especially if I have not asked for it, Some people might appreciate this and it might motivate them. However I am the type of person who would probably become a bit defensive and it could put me off the site as it reminds me of appointments with the dietician where I had to show my food diary. Everyone is different.0
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Mine is open to friends only. I used to have mine open to everyone, but then I got a few random messages from people I'd never even talked to criticizing the way I ate. It got annoying.0
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I don't share mine because I eat low fat raw vegan 80/10/10 style and most people don't understand it and take it upon themselves to criticise and tell me it's dangerous, I don't get enough x y or z, or I eat too much a b or c, I don't eat any so-called 'high quality protein' i.e. rotting animal flesh etc etc etc.
I don't need the hassle. I'm here for support and encouragement, not criticism and phoney advice from self-proclaimed experts. My time is better spent doing things other than justifying myself to a bunch of nosey strangers.
Each to their own I say.0 -
Mine is open to friends only. I'm not interested in unsolicited advice from random people on here, so I keep it open only to the people I know are good sources of information and who know and appreciate my goals.0
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I personaly don't want advice on my day to day food diary. If I want advice about something I will then post a topic for everyone to see. What works for some people may not work for me and visa versa.0
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....Not have their food diary available for friends to see, the amount of knowledge on this site will be vast and by scrutinising your diary's people will be able to give you some great advice.
basically.....get your diarys out!
Why is your profile private...how can we see your diary??????0
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