Why do people.......

1246

Replies

  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    If someone is publicly asking for help, then they should have it open so people can try to help. Otherwise, do what you want with it.

    I personally have my diary open to my MFP friends list only, and I keep my friends list very short. I see no reason why anyone else should even want to see my food and exercise diary. I'm happy to explain what I have been doing to be successful at this to anyone, but the specific foods are pretty useless. If you could read the contents of a recipe in MFP that might be different.

    I also accept that what I've been doing has worked for me but may not work for everyone or even anyone else. We're all different and you need to find what works for you so you can achieve your personal goals.
  • thethingirlinside
    thethingirlinside Posts: 101
    I have mine open to freind s I don't care if I have a mess up day so far know one has said one thing eighter way .some have made it known that there eating wasn't good .but I don't say a word I'm not going to freak out over a bad eating. da y . If some one looks and says something I'm ok with it .
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
    Why is what they eat a secret?

    Because it's their business?

    exactly what i had in mind
    [/quote

    Then that's not someone I want for my friend. As it's been said on this very topic, we're all different.
  • tryclyn
    tryclyn Posts: 2,414 Member
    My diary is public because some people are just looking for different meal ideas and I don't really care what silly diet nazis think of my food choices. I've never been one to change my ways when someone is critical of them. I own my foibles and perceived flaws and make changes when I deem changes are necessary.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    I find it hard to comment on someone being "under their calorie goal" if they haven't got their diary open.
    But then again I can't say I've ever noticed anyone give really constructive feedback on my diary, so, meh.
  • jesse1379
    jesse1379 Posts: 239 Member
    Because I am not here to get advice or feedback on my diary. Not everyone works the same way.

    Thats fair enough although i think since you have lost 60Lbs it would be massively beneficial to other people who are at the same weight as you started. It could help them.
    There are lots of other people here. I don't feel comfortable talking to other people about what I eat nor do I want to talk to others about what they eat. That's pretty much the long and short of it. I find it to be a very private matter. I understand what you are saying and that's great if it works for you. But it doesn't work for me. I respect your decision to show your diary and interact. Why not respect the decision of others not to do so?

    Like a boss....
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    I agree, my food diary is available to my friends, I put my profile on private a few weeks ago, so not everyone can see...........not missing too much anyways............Doritos........oatmeal............coffee (no sugar)...............lots of salad.................fat free italian dressing........and a few other things...


    I do get a tad bit annoyed when you can't even view your "friends" food diary though..........agreed.
  • amruden
    amruden Posts: 228 Member
    Just like my sins are between me and my God, what I eat is between my stomach and me.
  • papastu
    papastu Posts: 737 Member
    I think people here all think they're health experts lol. I find it amusing when people give me advice. If I stuck to the diet of course I would lose weight, I just haven't stuck to it :P

    ^
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Not everyone is on this site for the social aspect...plus some people can be really harsh about what they see in peoples diaries, and not everyone can handle that.
  • tvanhooser
    tvanhooser Posts: 326 Member
    Well, no offense. I'm sure there are many very nice people out there but y'all (with the exception of the few I have added) are complete strangers to me and I'm not here to seek the opinion and advice of strangers. I don't particularly care what a stranger thinks of me or how I am getting my results. Those I have added are personal friends of mine that I know face to face and trust. My diary is open to them if they want to look. If not, no biggie. I'm sure they all have busy lives and better things to do than keep track of what I'm eating!! But they are very supportive and encouraging and I am glad they are in my life and on this journey with me whether they ever read my diary or not. None of them have ever commented on any of my food entries so I assume they haven't looked which is perfectly fine. It's not all that exciting anyway. My exercise pops up on my news feed so I get cheers about that from time to time. But really I'm not even doing this to impress them....only for my own reasons so I see no reason to get all wrapped up in whether I get any "recognition" for what goes in my diary. It isn't meant to be a flag to wave to show off to the world. It's a tool for me to get me to where I'm going goal wise. Nothing more, nothing less.
  • gimpygramma
    gimpygramma Posts: 383 Member
    ....Not have their food diary available for friends to see, the amount of knowledge on this site will be vast and by scrutinising your diary's people will be able to give you some great advice.

    basically.....get your diarys out!

    But yours isn't open. To friends only, perhaps?
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
    I'm new to the site, and have much to learn. With that said, I also don't like unsolicited advice, so for that reason I turned off my notifications for most events. My diary is open to friend. Just don't see the need to invite unnecessary comments when closing out the day. Eating preferences vary so much on this site. It's great to be passionate about something, but like religion and politics - it can get ugly fast. The social aspect of the site is great, but I'm more here for the tools it provides and to educate myself based on other's success.
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    Well, no offense. I'm sure there are many very nice people out there but y'all (with the exception of the few I have added) are complete strangers to me and I'm not here to seek the opinion and advice of strangers. I don't particularly care what a stranger thinks of me or how I am getting my results. Those I have added are personal friends of mine that I know face to face and trust. My diary is open to them if they want to look. If not, no biggie. I'm sure they all have busy lives and better things to do than keep track of what I'm eating!! But they are very supportive and encouraging and I am glad they are in my life and on this journey with me whether they ever read my diary or not. None of them have ever commented on any of my food entries so I assume they haven't looked which is perfectly fine. It's not all that exciting anyway. My exercise pops up on my news feed so I get cheers about that from time to time. But really I'm not even doing this to impress them....only for my own reasons so I see no reason to get all wrapped up in whether I get any "recognition" for what goes in my diary. It isn't meant to be a flag to wave to show off to the world. It's a tool for me to get me to where I'm going goal wise. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I agree with this. When I get my exercise in, I get some good compliments. As I said in an earlier post, I made mine public but haven't really had a lot of flaming criticisms over it. I don't worry about what other people think of my eating habits. I stick with what works for me, and if they don't like it, tough luck. One of the main reasons I use the diary in the first place is to just make it easier to track what I eat every day. (Of course, some things CAN'T exactly be tracked because some vegetables are home-grown and Asian.) If someone gets ugly with me, I'll just move on. I will not claim to be an expert or better than anyone because my way of doing this is only one way, not the way for everyone.
  • Suzyqall72
    Suzyqall72 Posts: 105
    I'm just so mesmerized by tenster and some of these guy's photos, what was the topic again?
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Well, no offense. I'm sure there are many very nice people out there but y'all (with the exception of the few I have added) are complete strangers to me and I'm not here to seek the opinion and advice of strangers. I don't particularly care what a stranger thinks of me or how I am getting my results. Those I have added are personal friends of mine that I know face to face and trust. My diary is open to them if they want to look. If not, no biggie. I'm sure they all have busy lives and better things to do than keep track of what I'm eating!! But they are very supportive and encouraging and I am glad they are in my life and on this journey with me whether they ever read my diary or not. None of them have ever commented on any of my food entries so I assume they haven't looked which is perfectly fine. It's not all that exciting anyway. My exercise pops up on my news feed so I get cheers about that from time to time. But really I'm not even doing this to impress them....only for my own reasons so I see no reason to get all wrapped up in whether I get any "recognition" for what goes in my diary. It isn't meant to be a flag to wave to show off to the world. It's a tool for me to get me to where I'm going goal wise. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I agree with this. When I get my exercise in, I get some good compliments. As I said in an earlier post, I made mine public but haven't really had a lot of flaming criticisms over it. I don't worry about what other people think of my eating habits. I stick with what works for me, and if they don't like it, tough luck. One of the main reasons I use the diary in the first place is to just make it easier to track what I eat every day. (Of course, some things CAN'T exactly be tracked because some vegetables are home-grown and Asian.) If someone gets ugly with me, I'll just move on. I will not claim to be an expert or better than anyone because my way of doing this is only one way, not the way for everyone.

    I'm confused about why home-grown and Asian veggies can't be tracked. I track my veggies that I grow if they are Asian or not.
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    I've kept mine open to the public. I figure I've learned so much from looking at other's diaries, maybe mine will help someone. Not that I think everyone should eat like me, I just know that I've gotten some great ideas from others diaries.

    That being said, I've always figured that people who've dieted on and off for years, using different programs really have been told what they need to do to lose weight. Judging from some of the questions I've seen I can say I was wrong.

    My feeling is, if you're asking why you're not making the progress you expect but won't show your process (diary and exercise and size/age information) your chances of getting meaningful feedback are diminished.

    Bottom line: To each their own.
  • AggieLu
    AggieLu Posts: 873 Member
    I have posted the same thing on every diary of those that keep it closed. With the exception of one or two friends who have "valid" reasons to keep their closed, all other should be open. I have gotten tremendous knowledge and so many neat ideas from open diaries.

    For those who say they're not here to seek opinions of others, why add friends then? Sounds like you can do it all yourself :)
  • pullipgirl
    pullipgirl Posts: 767 Member
    I do IF sometimes and I don't feel like hearing someone on the forum lecturing me about "starvation mode" and "not getting enough calories" Mine is open to friends only
  • Colexlovely
    Colexlovely Posts: 133 Member
    Some people don't because of people like this

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/779381-so-your-eating-less-crap-but-its-still-crap

    people judge pretty meanly and post it on the message boards.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    l fully understand why some people close their diaries, I did for a long time. I personally did not want to accountability and I did not want people to know about the dirty little secrets that fit into my calorie goals.

    Now? I don't care if y'all see the poptart I had for breakfast. It was good. :)
  • emstethem
    emstethem Posts: 263 Member
    My diary is open! Please tell me what the hell I'm doing wrong......
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    Because I don't feel I need feedback on my food choices. I've lost 100+ lbs without asking for advice on my diet... I've found a system that works and is easy for me to live with. I don't feel that having that information scrutinized would be helpful, especially since I've had past experience with disordered eating.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
    To be completely honest, I question the commitment of someone when I see that they don't have a public diary. Everyone has a different comfort level and some are more self-conscious than others. The important thing is that people get well and stay fit! I think there are a lot of benefits to having an open diary.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    Some people are on here to not seek advice, but just to track their calories. They may be after a little motivation but don't feel comfortable enough to share their diary? It's all personal preference.
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
    I will confess that I like to peak at my friend's diaries, however, I do not like to judge others based on that.

    I find it very helpful in terms of getting ideas for meals and different options when the same old meals get boring time and time again. I do also keep mine open for the reason of accountability. If I know that others are going to see my diary then I might think twice about eating that chocolate I'm craving and I actually feel that it encourages me to make healthy choices and be more adventurous.

    I can see the other perspective though, some people feel too self conscious to open their diary particularly if they still have a lot of weight to lose. Or there are the ones that genuinely ask for advice but then get hurt because the answer isn't what they want to hear. A year ago, I probably wouldn't have wanted mine open to the world either, but now that I'm half way through my transformation and I feel confident in my choices, it doesn't feel so scary.
  • SheCanSheWill
    SheCanSheWill Posts: 33 Member
    I don't mind sharing my diary, even though it isn't the best diary. I need to consume more protein and of course I have my 'off the rail moments' but its a growing experience, if people want to offer advice I dont mind!!!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    My diary is open but blank on the advice of my therapist. It turns out that breaking into tears because the restaurant is out of quinoa burgers isn't normal or particularly healthy. For me, publically logging my food was giving me more anxiety and stress than any other part of dieting and I had to find a compromise.
  • kimberliiw
    kimberliiw Posts: 242 Member

    For those who say they're not here to seek opinions of others, why add friends then? Sounds like you can do it all yourself :)
    Actually I CAN do it all by myself. I use MFP as a tool. If I put on weight I can look at my diary and know why, if I'm losing I know why. And I don't see what friends have to do with it. I have real life friends and family and don't feel the need to discuss what I eat with them either unless it comes up in a conversation. And I'm not putting down those that like open diaries, I can understand why you like it that way. I just don't get why there's no understanding for those of us who don't want our diaries open.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Open diary or not...this place breeds ridicule and judgment. I recently was un-friended by someone who had friend-ed me in my very first days here. She didnt like that I didnt eat and couldnt exercise like she did. She couldnt seem to understand I have some real serious bone and joint problems and major health issues that preclude me from a lot of it. NOT all but a lot. I was actually quite upset over it.

    My diary is set to friends only. I gladly accept AND offer support where I can. If I comment on someones diary it's because I read it, we're friends and I care. Judging them is not the issue. I'll say something like " >friends name<, Are you ok? You're a little lite in calories (or heavy) ..that's not the norm for you." And let it go. I dont pound on em or criticize or even bring it up again.

    But to judge another because they cant or dont exercise and eat like you do is not right. That's not why we're all here...and has the potential to cause more harm than good.

    Please, just think about what you're saying to another.

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