are all men the same?!!

so im having a hard time with my ole man right now.. just dont know what to do.. he seems to think that spending time with his friends is more important than spending time with me and the kids.. your not single anymore your engaged for crying out loud!! this is getting old fast and to be honest its kinda making me re think getting married. cause i sure as hell am not putting up with this for the rest of my life. i will not be put 2nd!! i know that sounds bad... :( am i going to far with this? am i in the wrong/ what would you do?
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Replies

  • haha this was actually a serious question
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Men come in many different varieties. Maybe yours is trying to take a break from being family man.
  • i realize he needs guy time but when you work out of town 5 days a week and your only at home on the weekends and the first thing thats on your minds is hanging with your friends! somethings gotta give
  • Men come in many different varieties. Maybe yours is trying to take a break from being family man.
    you cant be a part time family man,
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    Ya gotta talk to him about it, not us. That's the wisest thing anyone is going to tell you on here ;)
  • amann1976
    amann1976 Posts: 742 Member
    haha this was actually a serious question

    this is just my personal opinion your question is why i dont believe people should get married in their 20's. men and women need to get all their games out of their system before settling down. your fiance dont want to be at home doing family stuff while all his friends are out bar hopping picking up chicks and doing whatever else and i'm sure you dont want to be doing the same either but since there is a child involved someone has to be the responsible party...


    maybe you two need to work out a schedule so he can go out sometimes and you can go out sometimes.
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    how old is he?
  • ugh
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
    Men come in many different varieties. Maybe yours is trying to take a break from being family man.
    you cant be a part time family man,
    Maybe yours is defective. Does it have a warranty or a return policy?
  • how old is he?
    ill be 26 in dec. and hell be 26 in jan.
  • Men come in many different varieties. Maybe yours is trying to take a break from being family man.
    you cant be a part time family man,
    Maybe yours is defective. Does it have a warranty or a return policy?
    lol no... :(
  • dcurzon
    dcurzon Posts: 653 Member
    Engaged and already nagging, no wonder he wants to go out with his friends.

    You should encourage him. That'll mind trip him
  • Engaged and already nagging, no wonder he wants to go out with his friends.

    You should encourage him. That'll mind trip him
    wow so now wanting to spend time with your man is now considered nagging?!
  • alisiaendris
    alisiaendris Posts: 213 Member
    My husband and I go through this too. He just doesn't seem to get that I might need a break from time to time too. I do not mind if he wants to spend some time with the guys, but nearly every night gets old quick! We sit down and talk about it time and again, then things get better for awhile. You just have to get and keep the lines of communication open. He cannot read your mind, and I do not think men are as family oriented as women (at least most of them anyway).
  • gmctech
    gmctech Posts: 104 Member
    No, we're not all the same.... You certainly have a valid concern...
  • dcurzon
    dcurzon Posts: 653 Member
    Engaged and already nagging, no wonder he wants to go out with his friends.

    You should encourage him. That'll mind trip him
    wow so now wanting to spend time with your man is now considered nagging?!

    It can seem that way, yes
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    Engaged and already nagging, no wonder he wants to go out with his friends.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



    If you're having questions this early on in, you may seriously want to put things on hold. You try to tame him, there may be resentment down the road. You let him run wild, and you'll never be happy.
  • My husband and I go through this too. He just doesn't seem to get that I might need a break from time to time too. I do not mind if he wants to spend some time with the guys, but nearly every night gets old quick! We sit down and talk about it time and again, then things get better for awhile. You just have to get and keep the lines of communication open. He cannot read your mind, and I do not think men are as family oriented as women (at least most of them anyway).
    he knows how i feel weve been through this in the past.. talking to him does no good! im about to just give up and just stop careing
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    So when exactly is he allowed to go out with his friends? Should this be scheduled on days that you don't want him around?
  • No, we're not all the same.... You certainly have a valid concern...
    thanks glad someone understands my side
  • Engaged and already nagging, no wonder he wants to go out with his friends.

    You should encourage him. That'll mind trip him
    wow so now wanting to spend time with your man is now considered nagging?!

    It can seem that way, yes
    well thats bull****
  • jamesbeckmann
    jamesbeckmann Posts: 4 Member
    Physically speaking its pretty easy to say all men are the same... We come with the same parts...

    But in this case... No, not all men are the same. Sounds like he's not ready to grow up and be a man or a father. You could wait for him to come around but that may never happen.

    Sit down have a solid talk with him, tell him exactly how you feel...

    After its all in the open, he will either step up, or you will have the freedom to do whats best for you and the kids.
  • So when exactly is he allowed to go out with his friends? Should this be scheduled on days that you don't want him around?
    i dont are for him going out with his friends but when he does this every night all damn night it gets old..
  • Physically speaking its pretty easy to say all men are the same... We come with the same parts...

    But in this case... No, not all men are the same. Sounds like he's not ready to grow up and be a man or a father. You could wait for him to come around but that may never happen.

    Sit down have a solid talk with him, tell him exactly how you feel...

    After its all in the open, he will either step up, or you will have the freedom to do whats best for you and the kids.
    thank you
  • let me guess all the guys reading this think im a nagging b***h now right?
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    Every night is not acceptable, a couple times a week isn't the end of the world.
  • Every night is not acceptable, a couple times a week isn't the end of the world.
    i agree
  • CassiusKnox
    CassiusKnox Posts: 305 Member
    Clearly it's about balance. He's only home on weekends... he has lots of relationships to maintain and while I'm sure you are important to him his friends are too.

    Perhaps he shouldn't be trying to do it all every weekend... prehaps he is spreading himself too thin. Try to negotiate with him. See if he will agree to 'family only' weekends reserved for you and the kids. But then allow him to have weekends where he is free to see his friends.
  • Clearly it's about balance. He's only home on weekends... he has lots of relationships to maintain and while I'm sure you are important to him his friends are too.

    Perhaps he shouldn't be trying to do it all every weekend... prehaps he is spreading himself too thin. Try to negotiate with him. See if he will agree to 'family only' weekends reserved for you and the kids. But then allow him to have weekends where he is free to see his friends.
    that is a very good idea, thank you
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    So when he does decide to stay home with the you and the family, how is it? Is it enjoyable or a complete pain in the butt for him?