I think he is cheating...
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Mongo just pawn in game of life.Are you two religious? You should start praying together. I would def pray about it & ask God to bring whatever he's doing to light so that you can move on don't let anyone think that you're crazy for going through his stuff we women know when somethings up. They say if you look for something you will find it...well I say it shouldn't be anything to find! If it continues I would call him out on it. Ask why are you so touchy w/ your phone are you hiding something? Smh men are so dumb... I wish you the best of luck w/ this...0 -
And what exactly is wrong with being "touchy about people searching through your phone computer"?
I would be beyond pissed if I found out someone was going through my personal stuff.
Sounds like you have trust issues, and ignoring the possibility of cheating or not... sounds like he'd be better off without you if you continue to breech privacy.
This.0 -
I would say that, as the trust in your relationship has totally gone, it's time to move on. Hit the road, Jack!
Martin0 -
I dont understand how you can say there is no proof. I know he would be very smart to cover his tracks so it would be hard to find anything.
I have found
- reply to personal ad
- naked pics of a friends ex...which why would he keep that? even if they were sent from the guy himself
- protective over computer history
- protective over cellphone
- my intuition is telling me somethings up.
I just don't know how to go about really catching him red handed.
None of those things are "proof", they are your suspicions and your gut feeling. You don't know the reason he has those pictures. Maybe his friend sent them to him to have an off site copy of them in case that girl deleted them off his PC. Maybe you aren't giving him the sex he needs and he's beating off to porn...that's USUALLY the reason guys are clammy when it comes to computer use/history. Yet the irony is, many women that ***** about men watching porn also read their smutty porn novels.
Anyhow, you should breakup, as said above. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship worth being in.I know guys like to cover up for other guys, so don't be offended if I take these sort of responses with little credibility.
Well, we all know someone that has trust issues and over analyze a situation and come up with a crazy theory that isn't based in reality. What did the response to the craigslist ad even say? Are you sure he wasn't just trying to buy something normal or sell something? If it had anything damning in it you would already have enough reason to leave, so I'll just assume there was nothing legit in that old email either.0 -
Have you thought about getting a private eye to follow him, alternatively I have heard that water boarding is quite effective when you want a confession.0
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So, what's he going to say when he searches your computer and finds this thread?
If you are worried, either confront him about it and believe what he tells you or break up with him now. I'd choose the second option, because I don't think you would believe anything he said even if it were true. You have trust issues and so does he, apparently. End it now.0 -
I feel for yeah.............with a lot of these sort of posts...............my reply is usually.............just read what you wrote............seems to be the answer is already there. I got to say, if it's at the point where it is, considering GPS, ect............all of the above you stated.......it's over anyways..............it's just a matter of time, 2 weeks, 2 months, possibly 2 yrs.............but a relationship like this will not last, period. it isn't health, it isn't fair.
Remember....................this is not your husband.............if it was................I could understand 100 times more you checking up on him and trying crazier things to figure out if he's cheating.................with marriage, there's a lot more at stake. It's a boyfriend, living together boyfriend at that...............so what, *kitten* happens, move along, there's plenty of guys that would be flattered for you to be able thumb through there phone.................and not while there sleeping. Try finding a guy that doesn't care if you happen to look through his phone...........he just might be secure.............and have nothing to hide.
The best to you.
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Any advice on how to catch him? I have looked into getting a gps and hide it in the vehicle, but I have no idea where to even get one of those! (I'm in canada).
I'm curious why catching him is important. Seems to be a pretty miserable way to live to me. In younger days, I was a hound, my wife is the only woman I've ever been faithful to and what I told her was this-- "if you ever think I'm cheating, I am."0 -
Trust your gut sweetie... don't paint red flags white!! If your feelin it there's a reason why!0
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Some thing I did to get my hands on his phone was purposefully let my phone does when we were going some where that we need GPS to find so he was driving and when he didn't hand it over it blew up in the big fight that I wanted and I needed to help me realize that everything is really happening0
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I don't know, it doesn't sound like you have much on him becuase you haven't been able to find anything to solidify he is cheating.
But I also agree in gut feelings.
If you honestly feel something isn't right, I don't see any reason why you can't sit down and talk to him. Don't accuse him of anything, don't tell him what you have done, etc. Just say I have been feeling off lately, and I am wondering if anything is going on that you want to talk about.
I don't know maybe that is silly, but when something is on my chest I want to say it.
I just recently got out of a 9 month relationship where from the start it had its ups and downs. I could never really put my finger on the issue, but I never once considered it to be cheating. I always made excuses, he is busy with his kids, he is busy at work, blah blah. But one of his friends outted him last week for having a gambling addiction in his past. DING DING... everything made sense, it all added up. I knew my gut was right telling me something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out what it was. So that is why I say a women's (or a man) should trust their gut.
Good luck
this. trust your instinct.
regardless of the loss of trust etc, breaking up and moving on is not as easy as some people here suggest. it seems to me like the proof will help you rationalise your reason to end it and therefore make the decision for you.
But sweety if you could possibly have gotten an STD, well i think you need to look at this with new eyes.0 -
I'm a fan of these "womans intuition" because they typically mean that somewhere, someplace, a man is being saved from a paranoid, bat$h1t crazy significant other. Do him a favor and leave him0
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To all of you people saying "why would you go through your SO phone" I am married and I have the RIGHT to go through whatever. What's mine is yours sort of thing. If you have nothing to hide why is it a big issue in the first place??? My husband has the passwords to my facebook and on here plus can look at my phone all he wants and I can do the same for him. It's not a TRUST thing it's just a common sense thing....0
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I wish I knew who he was so I could warn him that you're unstable. If you can't trust him, leave him.0
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To all of you people saying "why would you go through your SO phone" I am married and I have the RIGHT to go through whatever. What's mine is yours sort of thing. If you have nothing to hide why is it a big issue in the first place??? My husband has the passwords to my facebook and on here plus can look at my phone all he wants and I can do the same for him. It's not a TRUST thing it's just a common sense thing....
Its only common sense to spy on your significant others.0 -
You obviously don't trust him. Regardless if he's cheating or not, you can't have a quality relationship if you don't trust him. Move on.0
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Before I decided what action to take I would consider any possible outcomes.......if you discovered that he was cheating would you then be prepared to confront him? to leave him and start again? If you would not break up the relationship under any circumstances is it worth sitting tight and seeing if it blows over? Would you then ever be able to trust him? Only you know the answers to these question so just have a think first.
It certainly doesn't all sound very positive and I feel for you as you worry over all this. Take care x0 -
If you don't trust him, leave him. Don't put him through your insecurities by going through his things. Chances are, he's just being a guy and you're being crazy because you're insecure about yourself. Before I get my head bitten off because people think I'm being rude or something...
I was in a similar situation. Turned out that he was cheating and when I found out, it killed me, even though I had suspected it all along. Finding out that he's cheating isn't going to help you; it's just going to hurt. I was also very insecure in myself back then. I should have left him when I stopped trusting him. It would have saved him a year of sneaking around and a year of me worrying that he was unfaithful. I wouldn't have had to check his phone and computer and stayed up all night wondering where he was. I put myself through hell.
Since that relationship, I've grown a lot. I'm now with a guy that I trust naturally. It isn't forced and I never worry when he goes out. I'm not crazy like I used to be. I feel NO NEED to see what he's doing online or touch his phone unless it's to take a picture of us together. You never know how bad you were stressed out until you're in a relationship where you can truly breathe.
And lose the insecurities or they'll hurt your next relationship. Lose the man first. If you don't have trust, you have nothing.0 -
stop *****ing like a teenager .....do you want to live like that the rest of your life????
the relationship is broke...do yourself a favor.... get out of now and stop bothering people with crap like this that has nothing to do with MY FITNESS PAL>>>>
cmon now......get with the fitness program and GO TO FACEBOOK OR MY SPACE OR WRITE A LETTER TO ANN LANDERS...
a time and a place for everything...this is not it...
this is just my personal opinion....any rebroadcast or transmission of these words without the express written consent of the NFL is strictly prohibited........move on...life is too short...
This is also the Chit Chat, Fun and Games section of the forum. Where people are allowed to make threads about w.e(within the rules.) Chill.0 -
I hope you break up with him, since no guy deserves to have a girlfriend who goes through personal emails, steals his mobile phone to invade his privacy, and basically creeps all over his fb page. You have serious issues, and I pity anyone who has to live with that.
For his sake, dump him.
--P0 -
stop *****ing like a teenager .....do you want to live like that the rest of your life????
the relationship is broke...do yourself a favor.... get out of now and stop bothering people with crap like this that has nothing to do with MY FITNESS PAL>>>>
cmon now......get with the fitness program and GO TO FACEBOOK OR MY SPACE OR WRITE A LETTER TO ANN LANDERS...
a time and a place for everything...this is not it...
this is just my personal opinion....any rebroadcast or transmission of these words without the express written consent of the NFL is strictly prohibited........move on...life is too short...
As much as I would like to agree with you, if the owners of this website aren't limiting these types of posts then neither should you. Please move along if you donot wish to see such posts as they're well under the community guidelines. They're crazy, drama and attention seeking posts but still, well under community guidelines0 -
I'm just going to give some old lady's advice:
Prepare to move on without the drama of an investigation. Life continues and a new person will come your way. Note his behavior in the back of your mind (ultra private about computer/phone) and use your radar for such behavior when meeting new men and let a new man know that that is something you are uncomfortable about since it is a value of yours. As a former public health worker, chlamydia, by federal and state law is reportable and by the same law you must be notified (unless he managed to lie about having sex with a prostitute that he has no memory of identifiers). These public health workers are very good at what they do and at confirming if the partner was in fact notified. A doctor covering it up would be risking not just his integrity but also a potential lawsuit. I recommend that you get a copy of the lab report for your own curiosity (it's your body) but leave the investigation part to paid professionals. Unless you have more at stake, like children or alimony, just move on.
Make an exit for yourself that when you are my age, you can look back at and not feel embarrassed about; that you can say to yourself, "I had some pretty classy balls when I left that guy. I didn't drag him in the gutter nor myself."
Love this!0 -
You should call that Cheaters show haha
You know, the one where they stalk your boyfriend and catch him cheating
That way you wont have to do it yourself. Although it kinda looks like you already are...0 -
I love how a lot of people make bold decisions like "leave him" with such little evidence to support that decision.
Keep one thing in mind when getting advice online... most people will give advice that they would never take themselves because if they lead you astray, it doesn't affect them. Since the responders have nothing to lose, they can give bad advice without fear.0 -
If you think all this ... It's time to cut bait and run!
Why put yourself through this?0 -
I love how a lot of people make bold decisions like "leave him" with such little evidence to support that decision.
Keep one thing in mind when getting advice online... most people will give advice that they would never take themselves because if they lead you astray, it doesn't affect them. Since the responders have nothing to lose, they can give bad advice without fear.
Very well said good sir0 -
I love how a lot of people make bold decisions like "leave him" with such little evidence to support that decision.
Keep one thing in mind when getting advice online... most people will give advice that they would never take themselves because if they lead you astray, it doesn't affect them. Since the responders have nothing to lose, they can give bad advice without fear.
it's not bad advice. she clearly has trust issues and it's bringing out the crazy in her. based on the limited amount of information she has given about her situation, i thinks it's the best advice total strangers could give her. keep in mind, she's talked above about placing a GPS device on her boyfriend's car. that cannot end well. she'd be better off finding somebody who she can trust implicitly.0 -
You probe wont catch him on a short term fling. But cheaters get lazy even the smart ones stop trying so hard to catch them if months from now they start acting noticeably differed and trigger some more flags maybe snoop once in a great while and you'll probably catch them. How ever if don't have years, kids and a house invested what's the point of staying. Finding out isn't exactly the greatest either
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It sounds to me like you're already set to leave...make your plans and move on. You already don't trust him and you're trying to find things on him so move on to guy you can trust.0
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Just break up...
Speaking from experience in a similar situation - you just don't trust him. Whether your doubt in him is founded or not, your relationship is broken. If you've tried talking to him & you don't trust his answers (and you're peeping through his personal stuff attempting to catch him in a lie) - the advice above is best: "just break up". If not, you'll just be wasting your time & his by chasing after your suspicions. This will just make you both miserable. If you can't talk it out & trust him - break it off.0
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