Embarrassed for Trying to Lose Weight

cdwiggy

I've told my family and wish I hadn't.
I went to a get together last weekend (after not seeing these people for 2 months) and no one asked about or noticed my 30 pound weight loss, even though they know I'm trying to lose. Super supportive. /sarcasm
I splurged a little at the party and my mom and grandmother looked at me like I was doing something evil! I'm just not talking about it with them anymore.

gmad87

Most of what I'd say would only echo what so many others have already said in terms of it being a change in lifestyle, there's no need to be embarrassed, etc. People might make snide comments or give unsolicited, ridiculous advice, but only you will know what it really takes for bettering your health. Do your research, know your goals, and NEVER give up. You CAN do it.

bertabird

I used to feel the way you do. Honestly. I have been morbidly obese ALL my life. After ridicule and teasing, I became introverted and unsocial. After three decades I decided I had had enough. So, I started working out, trying different diets and ended up yo-yoing like a crazy person. In February I finally found a diet that worked. Just simply lowering my carbs, giving up refined sugars, and junk food. I also started working out 15-30 minutes per day. I don't know your body type, but with me, I found that "normal or fad" diets just wouldn't work because for MY body, I couldn't process all the carbs like 2/3's of the population can. I just started on a Monday and didn't say anything to anyone, except my hubby because he lives with me of course. I also found MFP. It keeps me grounded. The support from others in the "same boat as me" is a gift from God. Also, logging my food intake and exercise keeps me focused and accountable for what I put in my face and what I do with the energy I am consuming. MFP also shared something with me that NOBODY ever gave me: hope. I found on MFP a saying that I have printed up and placed on my bedroom door. It is a few words, but they pack a punch. I hope that the words help you and make you realize that the only thing to be embarrassed about is NOT doing anything about the problem and giving up because what others may say or do. Ignore what others who don't have a clue about weight issues, keep focused on your goals and keep your chin up. You'll get there with hard work and dedication to yourself and the way YOU WISH TO BE PERCEIVED.

Here are the words that I hold so dear to my heart. I hope they help you to understand that this is YOUR journey.

It takes four weeks for you to begin seeing the changes in your body. It takes eight weeks for friends and family to see the changes. It takes twelve weeks for everyone else to see the changes in your body, your health, your outlook and your physical being. Keep going! Never give up!

My mantra since February 2012 has been, "Keep Going and NEVER Give Up!" Don't let THEM distract you and if you need some support, friend me, and I promise to support you, chide you when you need it, and I will praise you for your committment to yourself and your willingness to change. God bless, Sweetie!

JeanetDK

I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

ROFL Someone should definitely make this t-shirt! I want it!

I'm also quiet about what it is I'm doing. My husband knows it but for some reason this time around I'm not feeling the need to make the statement 'I'm on a diet'. Maybe because I don't feel like I'm dieting - I'm simply living a healthy life.

But in the past I've heard all those comments and they definitely didn't help me in my process. But in the end we are all just humans and we want to be acknowledged for what we've achieved and if we don't tell anyone what we are planning than no one is going to acknowledge us. So thank god for MFP, right?

crazybookworm

Firstly, good for you for wanting to make a change!

Secondly, do not call it a diet! Diet's are short-term, this needs to be a lifestyle change!

Thirdly, do not say "What if I fail" take that right out of your vocabulary. You have just started and your already thinking about the embarrassment from people if you fail? Stop thinking like that.

The last thing you should be worried about is what other people think. Look YOURSELF in the mirror, and tell YOURSELF that you will do this. Letting down friends and family is yes, maybe embarrassing, but letting down yourself is even worse. Other people's feelings shouldn't even take place in your new healthy journey. When starting a new healthy lifestyle, that is your time to be selfish. To take care of yourself and only worry about yourself.

Do not be embarrassed to lose weight! Yes, people may be saying now "What for, or why?" but give it a few months and they will ask you "Wow, how did you do it!"

Take charge and give it your all. It's not going to be easy, but it is going to be SO worth it. Focus on one day at a time. And don't worry about quick fixes or fad diets. Healthy choices, moderation, portion control and exercise are the only 4 things you need.

You got this!!!

And P.S. Criticism will never go away. When I was overweight NO ONE said a word to me that I was unhealthy. Now that I'm at my goal weight, people are telling me that I need to relax and eat a cookie. I just tell them in a creative way what they can do with that cookie

SunnyLuc87

People really like to harp on the fact I used the phrase "on a diet", so I figured I'd try to defend myself.

First of all I just want to say with all due respect the post wasn't asking for nutrition/fitness/weight lose advice. It was only pertaining to the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. So by criticizing the way I describe my approach, people are kind of doing that "unsolicited advice" thing.

Also, it's awesome that many people feel like shouting their plans from the rooftops, and I think that shows a lot of self-confidence. That may come to me later, after I've proved to myself that I can make significant progress toward my goals.

And although it wasn't supposed to be the focus, yes I am aware that this is not a temporary thing as the word "diet" implies. I usually use that term generally when I don't want to talk about it. Somewhere in my brain, I think if I start talking about a "healthy lifestyle change" that invites too many questions and divulges too much information. I'm getting there, though... after I have some success I will open up about it. But too many times I've told people and then failed.

ecw3780

I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

Same here jmc, I have kept this to a few people, unlike you though, I will continue to keep it to myself. At some point I am sure someone will notice but so far...only 1 neighbor has even said anything.

Love this! I want one of those t shirts too.

rudegyal_b

you should never be embarassed about trying to better yourself, those that make you feel bad about it are probably just jealous and unmotivated to do it for themselves

but i get this all the time:

Comments like "You can have just a little bit of (insert diet-disaster-food/drink here). A little bit won't hurt."

and i wish it was socially acceptable to just say "thats why i look like this and you look like that" :noway:

anemoneprose

I didn't read other responses, but losing weight is one of those things that's like an antenna for people, like buying a house, etc. Everyone's got an opinion/method (whether they've been through/done x, or want to.)

If you want to keep people off your back, just tell them you have some kind of allergy or digestive thing and HAVE to eat what you eat, thanks.

(I didn't mind talking about it, but if I just wanted people to shut up, I'd do that.)

phyllio77

I have not shut up about MFP...you think I get paid to promote it. My friend on weight watchers was shocked at my inches lost in 1 month...and 8lbs...she asked if it was healthy..I said...you have to check it out...I use the Canadian Food Guide and my calories and I am doing great. I still eat what I want and I have altered a significant amount of choices due to salt levels. I also do not consider this a diet...I call it healthy choices...always positive....diet...is no negative...and does not sound substainable...healthy choices you can do forever and ever:) I wish you all the best on your journey and I feel MFP pal has started me on my journey to a healthy lifestyle. Remember to smile and best wishes.

AggieFan2011

I honestly know exactly how you feel. For me I don't know if it's embarrassment as much as just not feeling like it's everyone else's business. I waited 5 days before I told anyone at all and the only person I've really talked to about it is my mom. I think the main thing for me is that while I am very proud of myself for choosing to make this change, I don't want everyone around me trying to give me advice or looking at me with judgmental eyes when I reach for a cookie or don't go to the gym that day. If people don't know that I'm counting my calories and trying to lose weight then they won't care what I'm eating or whether or not I'm exercising. Also, some of it is a slight fear of not succeeding, or more so not succeeding in the amount of time that I would like to. I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to keep something like this to yourself, but there is definitely no need to be embarrassed about what you are doing. It is awesome that you are making a commitment like this and working towards becoming a healthier you!