Binge eating - anorexia's best friend, it seems

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  • strawberrytoast
    strawberrytoast Posts: 711 Member
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    You could try getting into cooking recipies. IF you know youve got to get the ingredients then prepare them this builds up to getting to eat it. You need to try and learn to love food as a fuel, not a quick fix. I had a bulemic sister for many years, she turned vegetarian and a lot more time,effort and thought went into her food.
    This might sound silly but take pictures of your body and compare it to pictures of other people body, realise how small you are and that putting on 10lbs will not do you any favours.
    One last thing is eat in public. Eat anywhere and everyone in public if you can. Builds up confidence in eating a proper meal and not being afraid of eating.
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    I don't post very much here, but couldn't read and run......you are so hard on yourself in your posts, but so generous and giving towards others in all of your replies. You have a lovely open heart, and amazing inner strength and courage to have come this far, to WANT to change, and to be right here talking about it with us.....

    Turn some of your kindness and generosity towards yourself, you really deserve it. I wish I could help you more, all I can say is I genuinely wish you all the best in beating this. I sense that you WILL achieve it. :)

    S x

    Seconded. You ARE amazing and you can get over this.
  • lozadee
    lozadee Posts: 89 Member
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    This is the first post I've read on here without a single bad comment and such an overwhelming amount of honesty. I wish I was able to say you were my friend.

    I sincerely hope you take your fight one day at a time - and when needed one hour at a time, there must be a waiting list of people around you waiting for you to say your ready for help, turn to anyone of them...your parents especially - be it once, twice or 10 times a day. It will help them understand too.

    I came on here tonight because I felt like a failure and whats it all worth...I am now kicking myself thinking how 'easy' it is for each one of us to be our own worst critic and bully and I think my final push to this understanding is your open and honest message.

    I fully truly look forward to hearing when your dark troubles turn into a success story which will inspire others. I always have and always will have an obsessiveness with weight, portion, calories, distances, goals, deadlines ect...but one thing I dont have to battle with is a medical condition - my problems are wrong choices.

    I admire every word you typed in your opening post and have learned a lot from it about myself and others.

    Keep your goals in mind doll. x
  • EndlessSacrifice
    EndlessSacrifice Posts: 325
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    I can somewhat understand how you're feeling. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I have bulimia, and I'm trying to recover. I'm going to add you. <3
  • funkyspunky872
    funkyspunky872 Posts: 866 Member
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    It is SOOO common for binge eating to take place after anorexia and other eating disorders. It's not your fault; it's not because you're weak or undisciplined. It's just what your body and mind crave after restricting for so long. It WILL stop. You have to trust the whole process though. If you get in a routine, get your meals back on track, and start eating a reasonable amount of calories on a daily basis, the urges to binge will almost go away like magic. Of course, this is also along with some great therapy to battle any emotional side to the bingeing... Have faith!
  • RenewedRunner
    RenewedRunner Posts: 423 Member
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    <-- 6 years struggling with bulimia, spent 6 weeks in patient trying to get right in the head and heart

    I STILL struggle with my ED. IMHO it NEVER goes away. It is like alcoholism-you recover but are always touched by the disease. There are days I stand in front of the fridge, fightin the urge to demolish all the "bad" food in the house. There are days I lose that fight. There are days I spend hunched over the toilet, trying to fight the urge to purge. There are days I lose that fight.

    However, I have learned, through therapy and becoming a certified therapist myself, that there are skills to be learned to help cope and techniques to get past the crazy mindset I have about food. Please make sure you are getting help. It is sooo hard, and I have found that when I keep the struggle hidden, the shame drives me further in to its darkness. It has NOTHING to do with how you should define yourself. See yourself as a survivor, not a victim. See yourself as getting stronger DESPITE your struggles, not made weaker because of them. Control issues are almost always present with ED dx; what is driving the inner turmoil?
    Good luck. If you ever want to talk, you may always message me.
  • Sabrina__26
    Sabrina__26 Posts: 78
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    I can totally relate to this. I went through a phase of eating really really less for months on end. I'm not sure if I was anorexic but I definitely had most of the traits.

    During my binge eating phase, I would eat a couple of hundred calories during the day for around a week and then one day in the week, I'd binge at night or sometimes for a full day as I just couldn't sleep and food occupied my thoughts to the extent that it was impossible to continue without eating. I didn't deal with it well at all, but you can.

    Firstly, I'd advise not to put food into groups of 'good' and 'bad' foods. I know that may seem difficult right now as you're probably so used to doing that but nothing is bad when had in moderation. When you do categorise foods, you crave the 'bad foods' even more and then you binge on them. If I were to go back to when I was going through the same thing, I would have eaten more, a lot more then I had been eating. Try to eat frequently and don't let yourself get hungry.

    Also, stop being so hard on yourself. Obviously you're binge eating because your body NEEDS food. It's not a sign of weakness at all! I remember how it feels, after months of control I would have this sudden need to eat (even when it hurts as there's no more space for more food). I just couldn't do anything but eat, no matter how much I tried.

    I was just reading a diary entry that I had from that time earlier today (I used to have a online blog) and I was so thin (92 lbs) and yet so unhappy. I really hope that you get through this!
  • lkbhagolum
    lkbhagolum Posts: 8 Member
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    :smile: Wow! Look at how many people care about you and accept you as you are. You are not defined by this disease, and it is one. A struggle to combat disease is a normal part of fighting through it and BEATING it. You have nothing to be ashamed of with your friends or family or MFP. Throw shame away...you have courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable and honest. You are beautiful, not because of looks, but because you have a tender and caring heart towards me and others!
  • RobynC79
    RobynC79 Posts: 331 Member
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    This must be really common - I did this too, after severe restrictions for a year, by which time I was anorexic and severely underweight (i.e., messed up head AND body!), I started treatment and almost immediately transitioned to binge eating. It was so exhausting!

    I think it's important to accept that its a very normal part of recovery - your ability to regulate your food intake is totally messed up. I did it for about 6 months before I could start to respond more normally to fullness signals.

    After a few episodes of eating to the point where I was in serious pain, I developed this strategy: I would binge eat initially, until I could make myself stop. And then I made myself wait for 30 minutes. And then I let myself eat more if I wanted. But the act of stopping and waiting, no matter how full I was or not, was eventually enough to help break the cycle. 30 minutes is not too long to wait, so it doesn't feel that hard to stop. Try 5 minutes, or 10 minutes, to begin with.

    You can do it. It takes a long fricking time, though, so be patient. You will win.
  • EpilogueOfYouth
    EpilogueOfYouth Posts: 4 Member
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    Hey,
    First of all I think you're so brave for going through treatment and trying to recover. The thought of going into recovery for me is way too scary. I'm in my comfort zone right now - to the rest of the world that means gripped with anorexia.
    Right now, your body is craving sufficient nutrients. Listen to your body, but, just like with your ED, PLAN what you're going to put into it in advance (not calories, NUTRIENTS). If you plan your nutrients ahead of time this will help you to give your body what it needs, without falling into a binge.
    Anorexia is all about control. Take everything you learned about controlling your intake and apply it to recovering.
    I may not be able to beat this right now, but obviously you're strong enough to pull out of restricting so you're strong enough to beat the binges.
    You're an inspiration to all of us still struggling.
    Hang in there <3
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I think it's wonderful you're reaching out, with an open heart and mind.

    Has your family outright rejected the idea of eating bit more healthily, or have you not put it to them? I don't mean to criticize, or be rude, but the issue is that the consequences of ED for you are much greater than the consequences of an uncomfortable dynamic might be for them. Eating separately from your family, I would think, might perpetuate secrecy and shame. But who am I to say, i don't know. I think it is worth seeking their support, though.

    You seem like a lovely person. I wish you all good things.
  • absolutionneverrelativity
    absolutionneverrelativity Posts: 43 Member
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    Hey hun, really impressed by your post your so brave for coming out about your issues and im sure actually I know there are many out there just like you. You may think you haven't made any progress but actually you have made the biggest step...... acknowledging you your problem/circumstances and seeking help.

    This site doesn't have many people that are underweight and looking to gain weight but it is very supportive and i'm sure you will get some awesome friends (including me).

    LIke weight loss nothing happens over night. Food is probably not the issue at all. You will need to look deep within yourself and ask why? what? when? as like all of us its such a mental thing. Look forward to hearing about your triumphs,

    Kia Kaha

    xo
  • likemeinvisible
    likemeinvisible Posts: 309
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    Make sure you eat a lot of protein - eggs, chicken, tuna. All this craving for sweet, salty and spicy is just your body begging for building blocks. Having enough protein sorts out everything, you will find yourself eating normally without even trying. Don't wait until you're hungry, get your protein portion weather you want it or not. I was underweight my whole life, don't worry, you'll get to keep your "bones" but your body composition will be better and you'll be stronger, healthier. You are not weak, you are not bad, there is nothing wrong with you and you need and deserve to eat just like anyone else.
  • Aquarian
    Aquarian Posts: 1,094 Member
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    My family are aware of both the anorexia and binge episodes but I just can't turn to them this time. It's one time too many and I'm starting to feel like I'm shaming them.

    I am no dietician, but I am a parent and one thing I know is that you can ALWAYS turn to your parents for help. No matter how many times you fall, they will pick you up and only be glad you asked their help. They might get angry once in a while, but in their hearts they will support you 100% and will do their personal best to help you. Don't feel like you are shamming them. Fight hard for you and for them, and let them be a part of your struggle. Good luck.
  • H217
    H217 Posts: 24 Member
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    It is SOOO common for binge eating to take place after anorexia and other eating disorders. It's not your fault; it's not because you're weak or undisciplined. It's just what your body and mind crave after restricting for so long. It WILL stop. You have to trust the whole process though. If you get in a routine, get your meals back on track, and start eating a reasonable amount of calories on a daily basis, the urges to binge will almost go away like magic. Of course, this is also along with some great therapy to battle any emotional side to the bingeing... Have faith!

    This exactly. It will get better with time. Don't lose hope!
  • tattoogrrl28
    tattoogrrl28 Posts: 53
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    I have no wisdom to give. I'm in the same boat, as far as obsessing and binging. I'm trying to recover from a very bad flare up of the eating disorder that I've had for 17 years. Some days I feel like crying all day. But you ARE strong. We are strong. We can do this. You sound smart, and you know that you have to get healthy. You can do this. If you ever need someone to talk to, message me. Sometimes this can make you feel so powerless and alone. You are not alone.
  • Cheri_Moves
    Cheri_Moves Posts: 625 Member
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    I have never been anorexic, but I have always struggled with binge eating. I cant speak from experience from your exact POV, but I can say for me at least, if I love myself enough, then I will make better choices.

    When I get down on myself and start demoralizing my progress or my body then I will eat all the peanut butter in the house while telling myself "who cares, I am such a fatty anyway, it wont matter." then as soon as its gone, I feel like even more of a failure.

    BUT, when I eat properly, especially eat enough to fight the hunger urges, and love ME, then I am good. I can say no to the whole jar and eat the serving size I want :) Im sure you will get there soon, but you know, it starts with the progress you make in your thinking first.

    Put YOU first. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • RunEatLift
    RunEatLift Posts: 68
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    It's not binge eating:
    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/5/22/extreme-hunger-what-is-it.html
  • losergeex56
    losergeex56 Posts: 6
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    I used to go gym, and eat around 1200 calories a day, me being short. After going down to 35 kilos from 65 kilos in 3 months, i was forced to start eating more and i agreed to it after hassling. But as i started eating to gain weight, i gained a lot of weight and i couldn't help it because everytime i'd eat healthy or especially count my calories like i did before, i always ended up binge eating at the end of the day. And that's one of the reasons i've gained so much weight and it was hell....this binge eat has to stop! :( But it is getting better..you're not alone beautiful, we can do this!!! <3 I believe in you :) x
  • theconstantgardener
    theconstantgardener Posts: 59 Member
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    I'm struggling with this at the moment also. I find the best thing to do is to accept the binge and not overcompensate the next day for it. I try and reduce the amount of 'bad' foods in the house as much as possible so even if I were to binge it's not possible to do it to the point that it becomes unhealthy or negative. I buy one thing that I've been missing a lot e.g a pack of biscuits and then allow myself to have them when I'm hungry or simply want a treat (a normal amount) and if I can have them around without going overboard and binging then once I finish them I can get something else yummy as my next treat. That way even if I do binge there wont be that much to binge on and with the treat food I have I will know that if I ensure I maintain a healthy relationship with food and don't scoff it all down at once then I can allow myself to have whatever I am craving and not feel bad about it.

    I hope this helps, maybe we can be friends on here and help eachother out :)

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