Gender Specific Toys...

AngryDiet

Showing respect for your spouse is a far healthier (and longer lasting) lesson than than any toy.

Why respect and inherently unhealthy and un-respectable position? Simply because she married him?

That father sounds like a douche canoe to me.

Why marry someone you don't respect?

Or are you saying that you should only treat them with respect when they agree with you?

If you're going to try to twist my meaning, you might try to be a bit more subtle.

Or if you really got any of that out of what I wrote, then derr...

AuddAlise

We have a play kitchen outside that ALL my kids play with (boy & girls). They like to make "mud" pie in it.

Of course I am teaching my son how to cook right now so I don't see a problem with it. He also plays Barbies with our youngest because he loves her so much. He's 10 btw.

AngryDiet

Showing respect for your spouse is a far healthier (and longer lasting) lesson than than any toy.

Why respect and inherently unhealthy and un-respectable position? Simply because she married him?

That father sounds like a douche canoe to me.

Because she chose him to be her life partner. She doesn't get to dismiss his thoughts and ideas just because she doesn't agree with them.

She agreed to take his thoughts and ideas into account when she married him. That also means she's going to have to learn to compromise, as will he.

Seems to me like she is taking them into consideration. This thread is proof of that.

As to whether that means she has to fold to his will, well, I guess that's one view point.

penrbrown

Seems to me like she is taking them into consideration. This thread is proof of that.

As to whether that means she has to fold to his will, well, I guess that's one view point.

She doesn't get to say: I don't like your opinion so I'm just going to do what I want with OUR child.

Just because she took his ideas into consideration doesn't mean she gets to dismiss him after she decides his opinion is invalid.

Her marriage is not the MFP forums. She doesn't get to post a clever picture and say: Here is Matt Smith with an otter on his shoulder, your opinion is invalid.

That's not how marriage should or does work.

I'm not saying she fold to HIS will. I'm saying they need to choose a gift they BOTH agree on.

LoraF83

happy kids > happy spouses

Said by someone who is probably divorced. Talk to your husband about it and how much your son wants it. If he's adamant about it, then get your son something else. Your son is 3, so I think he'll survive without a kitchen set at home.

No, it's said by someone who has children. Happy ones. It's a damn toy...if the kid wants it then let him have the thing. Since when does buying a toy for a kid lead to divorce?

*smh*

Agreed. If buying a toy is going to lead to divorce, then you have other issues to work on.

And regarding the toy kitchen - since when did that become a girl toy? Even back in the 80's my little brother had a toy kitchen. All the little boys at preschool played with it. Marketing for those products shows boys & girls. I always figured a toy kitchen was a gender-less toy. But even if it is a "girls toy" who the eff cares?
My daughter is 4, wears Spiderman tennis shoes, has super hero tshirts and her last birthday party was Super Mario Bros. themed. I'm glad I'm not married to some of the people posting on here, because it sounds like I'd have to be fighting for the right for my daughter to be interested in whatever she wanted to - some of these people sound like they would rather put her in a pink, glittery box filled with Barbies and baby dolls.
Thankfully, my husband has some freaking common sense and realizes that toys are just toys and kids should be able to play whatever they want.

AngryDiet

Seems to me like she is taking them into consideration. This thread is proof of that.

As to whether that means she has to fold to his will, well, I guess that's one view point.

She doesn't get to say: I don't like your opinion so I'm just going to do what I want with OUR child.

Just because she took his ideas into consideration doesn't mean she gets to dismiss him after she decides his opinion is invalid.

Her marriage is not the MFP forums. She doesn't get to post a clever picture and say: Here is Matt Smith with an otter on his shoulder, your opinion is invalid.

That's not how marriage should or does work.

I'm not saying she fold to HIS will. I'm saying they need to choose a gift they BOTH agree on.

Interesting. By stating that the kid cannot have the kitchen set, the male appears to be doing all of the things which you say are apparently taboo in a marriage.

After all, if her opinion is that the kid should get the set, and he point blank will not allow it, then he's acting in exactly the dismissive manner which you seem to feel is wrong.

And a compromise in choosing a toy they both agree on is actually him entirely getting his way.

Cindy311

I have two boys, we had a kitchen set and they loved it! We got it because my husband said it would keep them out of the kitchen at a young age and he was right. My sons have played with things that others would consider girls toys. It's funny how girls can play with boy toys and they don't get shamed but the other way around then it becomes shameful. As long as a kid is using their imagination I really could care less what they play with.

AngryDiet

And it's important to remember that his stance is completely asinine.

penrbrown

Interesting. By stating that the kid cannot have the kitchen set, the male appears to be doing all of the things which you say are apparently taboo in a marriage.

After all, if her opinion is that the kid should get the set, and he point blank will not allow it, then he's acting in exactly the dismissive manner which you seem to feel is wrong.

And a compromise in choosing a toy they both agree on is actually him entirely getting his way.

Yes and behaving in the exact same immature way is going to solve all their problems isn't it?

If his behavior is wrong, hers would be as well if she turned around and bought the set without even asking. Two wrongs do not equal a right.

She is the only one responsible for how she reacts to him. Even if he's wrong, she cannot blame him if she turns around and is equally wrong.

The best solution is for her to take the mature approach and sort it out with him like two grown adults who can figure out a compromise. Not two spoiled children fighting to get what they want.

AngryDiet

Interesting. By stating that the kid cannot have the kitchen set, the male appears to be doing all of the things which you say are apparently taboo in a marriage.

After all, if her opinion is that the kid should get the set, and he point blank will not allow it, then he's acting in exactly the dismissive manner which you seem to feel is wrong.

And a compromise in choosing a toy they both agree on is actually him entirely getting his way.

Yes and behaving in the exact same immature way is going to solve all their problems isn't it?

If his behavior is wrong, hers would be as well if she turned around and bought the set without even asking. Two wrongs do not equal a right.

She is the only one responsible for how she reacts to him. Even if he's wrong, she cannot blame him if she turns around and is equally wrong.

The best solution is for her to take the mature approach and sort it out with him like two grown adults who can figure out a compromise. Not two spoiled children fighting to get what they want.

I think you are making many assumptions about how she's going to react, what she's going to do, or how much sway my opinion of his stupid, apparently misogynistic opinion is worth to their marriage.

How she deals with it is her business, and I'm not speaking for her. And hopefully, neither are you.

WickedGarden

it's a freaking 'Chef's Workstation', my gawd. You don't have to call it a 'kitchen' (since some people are stereotyping 'kitchens' as being for 'girls') Look at the Food Network, how many male chefs are there compared to female chefs on there?

I had Tonka trucks when I was a kid, and I had baby dolls. Well I found babies to be creepy, so I played with the trucks, Legos and stuffed animals. The day my father bought me a Barbie doll, you would have though my mother was going to start WWIII, I was 10, and I wanted a 'more grown-up toy'. Well, I wasn't allowed any more Barbie dolls, so I settled for My Little Pony (the original). Now there are groups of ADULT MALES that get together to play with MLP.

*sigh*

perfectingpatti

Agreed. If buying a toy is going to lead to divorce, then you have other issues to work on.

Good grief. My comment was directed at his statement that happy kids is better than happy spouse. With that attitude, the marriage could be headed for trouble. Spouses need to work together when making decisions regarding the kids. Children will not always be happy. Children grow up and move out. You should be with your spouse for the rest of your life.

I have no issue with boys having toy kitchens. I think parents need to decide together what is appropriate for their children. I find the grill a good compromise. That is, if the little tyke will even want it.

gingerjen7

Showing respect for your spouse is a far healthier (and longer lasting) lesson than than any toy.

She can show him respect and still get the kid the present he wants. There are lots of ways to show respect, but that doesn't mean you have to support everything your spouse says, does, or thinks. An even better lesson would be to illustrate how to communicate in a healthy way about the things on which you disagree, instead of just going along with something that you think is wrong or stupid.

MB_Positif

I didn't read through all of the posts, but I definitely don't consider a kitchen set to be girly at all. Our neighbors have one and my son always plays on it with their girls and they have the best time! Think about it. If you let him play on a kitchen set now, someday he'll probably make a great husband who actually cooks with or for his wife.

JustRenea

we have one in the play room at our church....the boys and girls both loveeee playing with it....and i babysit for children...i have one boy whose 4 ..but when he was three he loved make up, dresses, high heals, dolls...(his dad didnt!) ..he'd take them from his sister...his mom didnt care as long as he was having fun ...he's outgrown it now but sometimes he'll still play with a doll....the 11 year old boy down the street played with dolls too when younger...didnt affect him

RaeLB

I understand that the interest levels are going to be gendered. However, this is learned. Gender coding begins as early as in the womb. As soon as someone is deemed a boy or girl they are coded with gendered colours, clothes, activities, toys etc. Your son has been taught that toys are gendered and only some are appropriate for a boy. And this is continually reinforced by what you give him.

I would love if children were raised learning that colours, clothes, activities, toys, etc are gender neutral. Of course, society (school, friends, etc) is still going to gender things; however, he is 3 and you and your husband are the biggest influences on shaping his perspective right now.

This is worth repeating. Why do intelligent responses always drown in the idiocy?
The sexism in this post is heartbreaking but unfortunately not surprising.

jsecret

If you're looking to get a kitchen for him (that's what my son and daughter are getting as their big gift for Christmas) there are a few on sale Black Friday! I think the one is only like $50? One is at Walmart (I think) the other is at Walgreens. Might be worth looking into so that you could both get him what you want. ((ads can be seen on blackfriday.com ))

penrbrown

I think you are making many assumptions about how she's going to react, what she's going to do, or how much sway my opinion of his stupid, apparently misogynistic opinion is worth to their marriage.

How she deals with it is her business, and I'm not speaking for her. And hopefully, neither are you.

I am challenging not her actions but the common theme of comments that seem to suggest she should disrespect her relationship and act even though her husband has clearly stated this is not something he wants.

I'm not saying he's right. But I'm saying it wouldn't be right for her to go behind his back and buy the kitchen set either. That's just my opinion.

Whatever she DOES decide to do is her decision ultimately and I would hope she wouldn't rely solely on the advice of the internet to make that decision.

monicalosesweight

it's a freaking 'Chef's Workstation', my gawd. You don't have to call it a 'kitchen' (since some people are stereotyping 'kitchens' as being for 'girls') Look at the Food Network, how many male chefs are there compared to female chefs on there?

I had Tonka trucks when I was a kid, and I had baby dolls. Well I found babies to be creepy, so I played with the trucks, Legos and stuffed animals. The day my father bought me a Barbie doll, you would have though my mother was going to start WWIII, I was 10, and I wanted a 'more grown-up toy'. Well, I wasn't allowed any more Barbie dolls, so I settled for My Little Pony (the original). Now there are groups of ADULT MALES that get together to play with MLP.

*sigh*

Wow. That's one cool kitchen!

Monica

monicalosesweight

I think you should bypass all these and just buy a tree house that can go up in the back yard. The kid can make it into a kitchen, living room, anything he wants. Grin. Besides...I always did want a tree house when I was little. I think they have play houses too nowadays for indoors. I saw these ones at the mall with special tubing that you could assemble into various shapes and make tent type buildings for the kids to play in which is neat.