Thanksgiving Help....dreading the Food Pushers!

jmeyer925

I first off want to say that if you're not going to help this woman with REAL advice on getting rid of food pushers (not telling her to give in), then don't reply to this thread. There are some of us who DO work really hard, and plan on keeping in control on that day. And we don't want to have to work extra to get it off the following days when we've already been working so hard. If you choose not to do so, than that is 100% your choice. Please don't push your obviously unwanted and rude advice about eating on this holiday.

And please don't bother quoting me if you plan on coming back with a "it's just one day, lighten up" or whatever. Your comments are insignificant and pointless. There are other threads on not planning your calories and plans that day. Why don't you mosey on over to them.

If we disagree with you its because our method is wrong? Simply disagreeing with you makes us wrong? Why is only your way right?

And just so you know, I did side with the OP and told her that this is about a pact between her and her body not her mother and her body and to remember that when she sits down to eat with the people she loves.

Your tone and insults are uncalled for simply because you feel self righteous today. Different people respond to different kinds of motivations and butt kickings.

Please explain to the community at large, how we are supposed to know what kind of motivational speech or butt kicking is supposed to work for this particular person that we do not know.

Or just realize, that because we cannot know ahead of time what kind of oomph gets her going, then at least its a good thing that all kinds can post here. All kinds of people and all kinds of motivation. If she wants one specific kind of motivation always and ONLY - then that is what her friends list is for. If she posts it to the world at large - she cannot expect an answer catered to her. She's going to get the whole dinner and she's gonna have to pick which things work for her.

Just like Thanksgiving.

but SERIOUSLY - thank you for showing the spirit of the season with your rant. :flowerforyou:

First, let me be the bigger person and say that I apoligize if my comments were harsh. That was not my intention.

It's obvious that this woman knows that it's just one day a year, she doesn't want to hurt her mother's feelings, and that she needs to keep on track. She already knows that if she gave in, then that would please her mother, but haven't a lot of us done that for too long? Attempted to spare our own feelings or the feelings of others, and indulged in food that we do not need? And when does that stop?

Again, I realize this is just cyberspace. But I like to genuinly help people with their weight loss journey. Some of the comments on this thread were uncalled for.

Pleae accept my best well wishes for the holiday season in whatever method you choose to partake!

CarlaMichelle

THIS!!!
I agree completely with her. There is NO REASON to set yourself back a bunch of calories that it would take you days to burn just to make yourself sick... You don't have to stress though. make the healthy dishes you want to eat and let the others do what they will. you are strong and wonderful and you deserve to be happy and proud of yourself... Stand firm and politely refuse anything that you don't want to eat. Please let me know how it goes

I first off want to say that if you're not going to help this woman with REAL advice on getting rid of food pushers (not telling her to give in), then don't reply to this thread. There are some of us who DO work really hard, and plan on keeping in control on that day. And we don't want to have to work extra to get it off the following days when we've already been working so hard. If you choose not to do so, than that is 100% your choice. Please don't push your obviously unwanted and rude advice about eating on this holiday.

And please don't bother quoting me if you plan on coming back with a "it's just one day, lighten up" or whatever. Your comments are insignificant and pointless. There are other threads on not planning your calories and plans that day. Why don't you mosey on over to them.

Okay, so sorry for that rant. Was getting an eye twitch reading some of the posts on here.

MY advice is to keep your hands busy! You'll be less likely to be pushed for food if they can see you already have something in your hand. We have food out before the main meal, so I like to completely fill up a plate with fruits and veggies (may need to bring some of your own if you know there wont be any, and other people DO like them) and get away from the other food.Why not take the chance to catch up with people in the other room? Then if a hostess comes over and offers something, it's obvious you're still working on your plate. Or I offer to be the chore person to keep me busy, or help out cooking a food (that i wont want to taste test).

And as for the main meal, not sure what kind of style yours is, but ours is kind of a buffet style. I try to be one of the last ones to go. Then I can fill up my plate with all the healthy choices I want, and when I get to the table most people are so consumed with their own food they won't look at mine. And if they do try and get me to eat something else I'll say, "well let me get done eating this, and if i'm not full i'll have some!" (but of course you'll be "full" afterwards).

And for after the meal/dessert, same goes with having your hands full and getting away from the tempations. Why not be the person who offers coffee to everyone? Then when everyone has some pour some for yourself (low in calories!) and just pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

Though I will say moderation is of course key, there are things only come around once a year. Have just a little bit and move on.

If you stick with your goals for the day, I can guarantee that you'll wake up proud!

firemanfive0

In my family, we celebrated with food...now food is just part of the celebration. Eat what you want...if its lean cuisine or the full blown deal....it is what it is. Mine will be with moderation....do you think I am going to give up pumpkin pie....fresh baked oatmeal rolls....baked mac&cheese??? hell no.... but on the same side I wont be doing a two plate full entree and three plate dessert. This is a day to celebrate...enjoy yourself above all else. And if your Mom pouts...just give her a big old hug and tell you love her above all else....more than the pies....more than the cheesy casserole. You could always just agree to take some home(what you do with it from there is up to you)

Infauna

I toally agree. I would be upset if I planned, bought the food, and worked all morning to cook a beautiful meal and my guest either threw it in the trash (hello, there are starving people in this world AND food is expensive) or brought a frozen meal to eat instead.

Exactly!

I would be offended if I had spent all day preparing a nice meal for my guests and they refused to eat it/threw it in the trash/brought some frozen meal. One day will not derail you or take away all you've accomplished so far, just enjoy the holiday with your family. Eat smaller portions, fill your plate with more veggies, drink more water, exercise a little if you feel up to it.

You really can't expect to do this (what you posted in the OP) every holiday if you go to someone's house, do you? That's not realistic and I think it's quite rude. I think throwing food in the trash is a bit extreme, too.

PomegranatePriestess

I'm answering your original post with my own story; didn't read through everything else completely but I got the gist of it, and I think I am somewhere in between. I believe you can respect the pact you made with your body and still enjoy some "special occasion" items on Thanksgiving that you would not normally eat if you put your mind to it and exercise self-control.

There was a time in my life when I was on a strict diet, and I lost 110 lbs. The number of days I spent "off plan" in one year could be counted on one hand... but they could be counted. I ate things on Thanksgiving and Christmas that I did not normally eat. I kept the portions of those things reasonable. I didn't take seconds of anything that was not part of the plan.

Mostly, I didn't make a big deal out of it so no one else did, either. I focused on the conversations, spent plenty of time talking so I would eat slower, and enjoyed everything I ate. I sent the leftovers home with everyone else when I was the hostess.

I had a small bit of each dessert, in particular, because my mother made them. It's the one time of the year that she bakes. Maybe I am just too sentimental, but in the back of my mind, I thought of a time in the future when my mother would not be around to bake at the holidays, and how I would give anything to be able to sit at the table with her and enjoy something she made for me that I would never have again because it would never be the same if she didn't make it, from scratch, from her heart.

I am no longer on that diet. I'm losing weight another way this time: moderation. And I plan to find the happy medium on Thanksgiving.

kimcalica

i think it'd be offensive if my own mother knew i was trying to lose weight and didn't accommodate at all. if she wanted me to eat her food... she'd prepare something especially for me. turkey is fine.. why not do a special side and dessert for me, instead of insisting i eat what she slaves for? btw.. i'm not the one in this position.. i'm the one cooking the meal and everyone eats what I cook.. so i'm not complaining.. i'm just saying for the sake of other people, they shouldn't be offended because they didn't' take the dieter into consideration.. it's like inviting a jewish person over and serving all non kosher food and getting offended that they didn't eat it.. but the jewish person is your own family member.. not that that is a feasible situation but you get my drift!

Erienneb

If you really and truely don't want to eat the traditional foods/amounts I find that assertiveness is the best path. If your mom or family don't understand your choice for the day, it's difficult to deal with. Say what you want at the beginning firmly, along with your reasons for choosing a different meal choice. If they continue to push food on you, walk away. Since it's a holiday, that should make them stop if they want you to stay and continue spending time with them. I can understand the desire to abstain from Thanksgiving foods, and I know it's difficult. There are certain situations where feelings are going to get hurt regardless, and it's best to rip off the bandaid.

I would like to add that I plan on eating a little of whatever I want. I'm more of a "everything in moderation" and that works for me. It doesn't for everyone. It doesn't work for the OP and that's ok. Just everyone calm down, we all have different preferences. You would think the OP came in and said "I don't like chocolate" the way some people reacted. She's allowed to do what she wants, even if you don't agree.

Eep I sound preachy. Sorry. I just wanted to say. Live and let live.

ETA: Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to be thankful and to be around family. We've made it about food, but no one ever said it was required. And we wonder why the obesity rate is so high in America? It's because all our holidays are food centered.

lizapettit

Really people???? What if you worked hard making eggnog or spiked cider or whatever and a recovering alcoholic came for dinner? Would you tell him/her "oh loosen up it's just one day enjoy it!" Or be offended that they refused to partake? No, you wouldn't.

I'm not saying that the OP has a food addiction, but MANY people on this site do. So instead of telling her to loosen up, respond with something supportive, or don't respond at all.

OP: If you want to stick with your plan on Thanksgiving, have a talk with your mom and tell her how much this means to you and that you really want her to be supportive of the new, healthier you

kimcalica

Really people???? What if you worked hard making eggnog or spiked cider or whatever and a recovering alcoholic came for dinner? Would you tell him/her "oh loosen up it's just one day enjoy it!" Or be offended that they refused to partake? No, you wouldn't.

I'm not saying that the OP has a food addiction, but MANY people on this site do. So instead of telling her to loosen up, respond with something supportive, or don't respond at all.

OP: If you want to stick with your plan on Thanksgiving, have a talk with your mom and tell her how much this means to you and that you really want her to be supportive of the new, healthier you

like.. better than my jewish analogy lmao

painthoss

Another great point...maybe even having the conversation is a bad idea.
And I couldn't agree more that it is a pact I've made with my body. Just worried about hurting my mom's feelings.

May I point out that your mother doesn't seem terribly concerned about your feelings?

IronDame

I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

PRMinx

We are going to my husband's aunt's house for Thanksgiving and I fully intend to bring my Lean Cuisine. I don't care who gets mad or pouts! I have worked too hard and too long to have a "binge day"

First, Ill say that I totally support people's weight loss journeys and I'm not usually one to judge. In fact, I'm the hostess that would make healthy/vegetarian/gluten free options for my friends if I that's what they need. Actually, I enjoy the challenge.

But I would be deeply offended if someone brought a lean cuisine to my house on Thanksgiving. That's just so rude.

kimcalica

I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

do you understand the words "downward spiral'? its kind of easy for people like us.. not to mention foods like that make you crave more foods like that.. it's a slippery slope.. and defiantly something to fear.. it really is annoying when people who have a good handle on moderation and probably have never been more than 10 or 20 lbs overweight put their 2 cents in about this kind of thing.

ubermensch13

I'm going to eat ALL THE FOOD! And shut up about not knowing being overweight, I was over 190lbs(at 5'6) my first year of lawschool because of stress eating and no activity, but I didnt' get fat because of one day, and I didn't get skinny from eating healthy for one day either. If you have been doing this program for a long time and one day will cause you to fall off the wagon and go nuts, you probably need to incorporate mental health assistance in this journey.

kimcalica

I'm going to eat ALL THE FOOD! And shut up about not knowing being overweight, I was over 190lbs(at 5'6) my first year of lawschool because of stress eating and no activity, but I didnt' get fat because of one day, and I didn't get skinny from eating healthy for one day either. If you have been doing this program for a long time and one day will cause you to fall off the wagon and go nuts, you probably need to incorporate mental health assistance in this journey.

that's an absolutely astute observation.. but for those who do have problems with mental health, who are you to say, go ahead and eat? a great percentage of the people on this site are here not just because of physical problems.. but major mental issues as well. Kudos to you for your achievements. Some people do need more help during these times though, and don't need people like you reminding them how mentally unstable they are..

IronDame

I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

do you understand the words "downward spiral'? its kind of easy for people like us.. not to mention foods like that make you crave more foods like that.. it's a slippery slope.. and defiantly something to fear.. it really is annoying when people who have a good handle on moderation and probably have never been more than 10 or 20 lbs overweight put their 2 cents in about this kind of thing.

I do understand the words "downward spiral". Thanks for trying to insult my intelligence. You must be lacking carbohydrates...am I right? So just because I only needed to lose 20ish pounds (and yes I lost them) I have no right to put my 2 cents out there? Wrong. You think those 20 or so pounds were easy for me to lose? NO! It was not easy, it still isn’t easy and it NEVER will be easy. Nothing good in life is easy. I personally just think it is sad that so many people can’t enjoy a holiday and eat yummy foods. They are too busy worrying about the cals, carbs, fats and don’t take a moment to sit down and just enjoy a slice of pecan pie. I will eat extra for all of you that won’t allow yourselves one day of good fatty foods.
:drinker:

WendyTerry420

ROAST TURKEY IS ONE OF THE HEALTHIEST FOODS ON EARTH!:explode:


Sorry for shouting, but for some reason, people have having trouble comprehending. :bigsmile:

kimcalica

I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

do you understand the words "downward spiral'? its kind of easy for people like us.. not to mention foods like that make you crave more foods like that.. it's a slippery slope.. and defiantly something to fear.. it really is annoying when people who have a good handle on moderation and probably have never been more than 10 or 20 lbs overweight put their 2 cents in about this kind of thing.

I do understand the word "downward spiral". Thanks for trying to insult my intelligence. You must be lacking carbohydrates...am I right? So just because I only needed to lose 20ish pounds (and yes I lost them) I have no right to put my 2 cents out there? Wrong. You think those 20 or so pounds were easy for me to lose? NO! It was not easy, it still isn’t easy and it NEVER will be easy. Nothing good in life is easy. I personally just think it is sad that so many people can’t enjoy a holiday and eat yummy foods. They are too busy worrying about the cals, carbs, fats and don’t take a moment to sit down and just enjoy a slice of pecan pie. I will eat extra for all of you that won’t allow yourselves one day of good fatty foods.
:drinker:

let me refer you to the mental health conversation i was having with another user. those who are grossly overweight and have no control, find these things much harder than the ones who get control after about 20l.bs.. i know those last 20lbs are brutal... and you are a rockstar for doing it.. but man.. you have no idea what it's like to be mentally sick over food.. and probably have no right to belittle it

IronDame

I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

do you understand the words "downward spiral'? its kind of easy for people like us.. not to mention foods like that make you crave more foods like that.. it's a slippery slope.. and defiantly something to fear.. it really is annoying when people who have a good handle on moderation and probably have never been more than 10 or 20 lbs overweight put their 2 cents in about this kind of thing.

I do understand the word "downward spiral". Thanks for trying to insult my intelligence. You must be lacking carbohydrates...am I right? So just because I only needed to lose 20ish pounds (and yes I lost them) I have no right to put my 2 cents out there? Wrong. You think those 20 or so pounds were easy for me to lose? NO! It was not easy, it still isn’t easy and it NEVER will be easy. Nothing good in life is easy. I personally just think it is sad that so many people can’t enjoy a holiday and eat yummy foods. They are too busy worrying about the cals, carbs, fats and don’t take a moment to sit down and just enjoy a slice of pecan pie. I will eat extra for all of you that won’t allow yourselves one day of good fatty foods.
:drinker:

let me refer you to the mental health conversation i was having with another user. those who are grossly overweight and have no control, find these things much harder than the ones who get control after about 20l.bs.. i know those last 20lbs are brutal... and you are a rockstar for doing it.. but man.. you have no idea what it's like to be mentally sick over food..

I completely skipped over every single post in here. So yes I missed that. I can't imagine being so over weight that it messes with my mind. That is why I took at stand at 20ish pounds over weight before it got worse than it already was. I truly wish everyone going through this struggle the best. *hugs* &keep your heads up!

Graelwyn75

Wow!! This is a lifestyle change, not a diet, and one day of indulgence and enjoyment will not de rail the whole process. I would be OFFENDED if I had prepared a Thanksgiving feast and someone brought a Lean Cuisine. Don't do that!! Talk to your hostess and plan a couple of healthy choices together. Get a good work out in, take a little of your favorites, fill up on veggies, and enjoy the company. Talk a lot--you won't have time to put food in your mouth!! Sheesh, people. This is a holiday, and a time to be thankful. Enjoy it!!

Totally agree, part of the lifestyle change should be learning to enjoy all foods in moderation, which comes down to cultivating some self control, which everyone is capable of with work, and this comes from someone who has had issues with severe binge eating. It seems a lot of people are viewing this food and that food as the enemy which is part of the unhealthy attitude towards food to begin with. Naturally slender people do not view foods in terms of bad and good.