Thanksgiving Help....dreading the Food Pushers!
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Although I'm sure this has been driven in to the ground (and I didn't read a single reply), my advice is to enjoy the holiday. Have smaller portions of everything and don't be "that guy" about your diet. You're supposed to be having a nice time, enjoying the family you are thankful for.0
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i sympathize with people who can't do the FREE DAY thing.. i used to be a train wreck.. if i heard the words free day i could consume unto 5000 calories and then just give up because i hated myself... there are many ppl like that... it's a real illness so many ppl just don't understand.. i plan on at least staying on a 2000 calorie diet... eating like a normal human being and not a gluttonous pig.. that's my plan.0
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This is a great question and one that I have been struggling with myself.
I have been super-open and transparent with my efforts at improving my lifestyle and my struggles with food addiction and compulsive overeating. I have recently started saying, out loud, "I'm a compulsive over-eater." It's not easy to say!
But it is helping me when I am confronted by a food-pusher (I love that term!). I can say, "wow, that looks wonderful! I'd love to have some, but I am a compulsive over-eater. I'm like an alcoholic, but with food. I haven't had a binge in more than 2 months, and I know that if I eat that it will trigger a binge."
I have found that equating my choice to not eat something to an alcoholic declining a drink helps frame my choice so that feelings are not hurt.
Good luck with your mom... Moms are tough sell, no matter what you do.
THIS. If this is true for you, it's excellent advice.
Then again, if you know that you can control yourself & your portion sizes, and eating the meal won't lead to a binge or to you feeling guilty, then take the other main response - enjoy in moderation.
Either way, try to have good time with friends and family, and enjoy the holiday!0 -
Thanksgiving comes once a year! Just limit yourself! Don't have 6 plates. Have one or two.
I know i for one will be walking that evening.. But tomorrow is what im worried about, all the wome. Are getting together and making all the pies and the men are frying a turkey..
Then the next day we have ham and all that other stuff for Thanksgiving...0 -
If there are small children invited you could offer to help with them - they will keep you so busy that you don't have as much time to eat, and in my experience they usually want to leave the table early, so you can go and play with them in another room!
Fabulous Idea!!!0 -
Your mom probably worked really hard on those dishes, you should sample them at least! Going over your calorie limit will not kill you, it's ONE day0
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Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.
Oh wow. That's so scary. :frown:
That gives me reason for pause. I'm going to do my best to enjoy Thanksgiving without worrying about calorie content (it is, after all, one day), but that really made me think it would be okay.
Thank you so much for sharing that.0 -
Don't be "grazing" around the appetizers. Also eat an apple or bannana just before you go so you aren't so hungry. Have on plate and don't heap it up. For dessert bring some good tea, coffee or whatever you like to drink. You can still have a dessert. Limit it to 1/2 of serving and then go for a walk or go help with kitchen clean-up. It isn't their choices that have put on the pounds, it is yours, so make them wisely. The feeling you will have of superiority when you succeed will be worth all the effort.0
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there are just too many chromosomal disorders and special needs that are completely unknown to the world.. Unless we or our loved ones suffer from them, we just go about on our marry way living our lives happily in ignorance.. must be nice.. lolim guessing that was for me... it is rough that nobody outside of the special needs community knows what prader will syndrome is.. awareness is nonexistent because it's so rare but, yes.. holidays are hard for us... keeping our kids away from the food..
i recall one horrible story about one kid that did so great his whole life.. he was thin and in great shape and one day, he got ahold of some money and his friends let him eat whatever he wanted. he ate 6 hamburgers and ruptured his stomach and died. totally tragic.. if left alone they'll eat themselves to death. my son will never be able to live independently no matter h0w intelligent he is..
That is so heartbreaking. I am surprised this isn't talked about more often.0 -
Your mother and the rest of your family have nothing to do with the pact youve made with your body.
Actually it does. I know it shouldn't effect me but it does, as it does with the op. I hate it when my fil who is bone thin... says "didn't you eat?" and everyone looks at me like I should get another plate, like I have insulted his effort.
I like the compulsive overeater comment, but my husband's family is full of alcoholics... I will just have to stick with my mil eat lightly.
Jane0 -
i love how people on this thread keep posting the same **** over and over because they don't read any of the first pages.. they just want to see their opinions splattered up on the page.0
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I think the problem of turning down your mother's dishes is not only guilt but then the snowball effect. I know for me, as long as I don't have a cookie even if the jar is full, I'm fine. Once I have one cookie, I have another and another. Portion control is way hard for some people. You have to know your triggers. I didn't want all that junk this year. Not to mention the hours of prep, cooking and running around all to devour it in 20 mins, to then have another few hours for clean up. We're having a non-traditional thanksgiving this year so I can have a better chance at not gorging on mashed potatoes and stuffing.
On the flip side, you only live once! No one said you have to go bonkers! Drink plenty of water, eat toward your carb... veggies first, then protein, then carb so you are full on mostly good stuff first.
Good luck!0 -
I think the problem of turning down your mother's dishes is not only guilt but then the snowball effect. I know for me, as long as I don't have a cookie even if the jar is full, I'm fine. Once I have one cookie, I have another and another. Portion control is way hard for some people. You have to know your triggers. I didn't want all that junk this year. Not to mention the hours of prep, cooking and running around all to devour it in 20 mins, to then have another few hours for clean up. We're having a non-traditional thanksgiving this year so I can have a better chance at not gorging on mashed potatoes and stuffing.
On the flip side, you only live once! No one said you have to go bonkers! Drink plenty of water, eat toward your carb... veggies first, then protein, then carb so you are full on mostly good stuff first.
Good luck!
i love this!0 -
To be honest, for me during holidays, it's just about portion control....I try tiny bits of bad but tasty stuff and fill up as much as possible on salads, veg and lean meat. Like normal, just with more temptation haha. That way no one gets offended. Thankfully I can also take a lot of it to work (cakes etc) because other people really gobble it up fast there!0
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Any advice? How do you handle the food pushers in your life? Especially ones that are family and you don't want to hurt their feelings.
Intermittent Fasting is your answer. Their Thanksgiving dinner is your breakfast.0 -
i agree.0
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FREE day... I look back on all the times that I've tried to keep in weight standards or this diet or that one, and all the wonderful food I've missed.. you should just enjoy yourself in moderation, be thankful that you have good food and company this year, and press on with your schedule/routine on friday, one day won't kill you, just don't over do it.
as for the rest of it..small portions, make one plate, eat slow. but still enjoy yourself some, you've worked hard, and earned it
I agree. One of the biggest mistakes I have made in all my years of dieting is to forbid myself to have a certain food(s) or heaven forbid cheat for a day. Depriving yourself of a food or food day sets you up for failure. I am not saying to eat, eat, eat or to eat a whole pie, just do some portion control but treat yourself to a day of good food, good friends and family and a loving tradition.0 -
Thanksgiving is always hard because it revolves around food. But it is one day I feel that if you need to go off for a day, it won't kill you. I was going to plan to record on Thanksgiving, but I'm second guessing it. My boyfriend's family is coming over and they're bringing a lot of filipino foods.
Dating a Filipino while trying to lose weight sucks. Their family wants you to eat whether or not you already ate. I found holding a plate with food and slowly eating off it stops them from continually piling on food.
I hope you find what works for you.0 -
I can think of no question where bringing a Lean Cuisine box "meal" is the correct answer.
What is "pissing off the family who made the real meal, loading your body with sodium and preservatives, and staying hungry immediately after eating"?0 -
Wow!! This is a lifestyle change, not a diet, and one day of indulgence and enjoyment will not de rail the whole process. I would be OFFENDED if I had prepared a Thanksgiving feast and someone brought a Lean Cuisine. Don't do that!! Talk to your hostess and plan a couple of healthy choices together. Get a good work out in, take a little of your favorites, fill up on veggies, and enjoy the company. Talk a lot--you won't have time to put food in your mouth!! Sheesh, people. This is a holiday, and a time to be thankful. Enjoy it!!
Well lucky for me, my family are NOT food pushers and they support my lifestyle and the choices I make. My husband's aunt is fully aware that I am bringing it and they are not offended at all. Reason for the Lean Cuisine--- so I can log!!! I cannot log their recipes! How do I know how many calories are in their butter smothered food ?! Everyone has their own choice to make. Glad everyone was ripping my decision apart with their criticisms and judgements while I carried on about my day happily :huh:0 -
I deleted my previous comment. Because I was just being a whiny brat and didn't add anything to the post.
But I do want to add, that you could fill your plate and eat very slowly. Be one of the last to leave the table, that way no one is seeing an empty plate and try to push more food onto it. This is what my game plan is. I'm not going to deny myself anything, but I am going to slow myself down so that I don't feel sick once dinner is over. I want to actually have room to enjoy my dessert.
Also with everyone else saying that it's one day indulge. Yes it is one day and I don't think the OP was complaining about eating to much. It seems like she was more complaining about how much food her mother was planning and that she didn't want to go over board. I am in the same situation, my mother in law bought a 20lb turkey and 10lbs of sweet potatoes along with 4 pies and plenty of sides for 8 people. I totally understand with you OP, because most likely the leftovers will be pushed off on to us. I don't think it's right to go so extremely excessive during holiday's. There are hungrier people out there, and I don't think that forcing myself to eat so much that my pants are tight is right.0 -
AND>>>>>>>>>>>>> I was never concerned with who would be offended with my decision........but thanks for letting me know anyway ...........................message boards make me seriously want to quit this site all together..................................0
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As for taking your own food. I support that fully. This is hard work. Yes it is one day, But I personally can be set back a lot by just thinking of it as one day that turns into 2 then 3 then 4.
I may be the only one, but I feel if it works for you, do it and forget the rest of the criticism.
I personally am not too concerned with any of the holidays this year. I will just be glad when they are over and gone. I have to work full days on all of them, and I am getting serious grief by family thinking I am doing it to ruin their holidays or for greed. I don't have a choice if I still want to be employed come January 1, so therefore I will work them and suck it up and pack my lunch just the same as always, nothing fancy and carry on.
So in reality, I won't have to deal with food pushers, it will all be over with by the time I get home and can cook my own carefully planned plain non festive dinner.0 -
AND>>>>>>>>>>>>> I was never concerned with who would be offended with my decision........but thanks for letting me know anyway ...........................message boards make me seriously want to quit this site all together..................................
I truly am sorry. I don't know how this thread got so out of control. This is suppose to be the Motivation and Support thread....not the Bash and Bruise one.
I am actually jealous of you that you have a family that supports you enough to not mind at all if you eat a Lean Cuisine or the entire turkey! That is the whole point of my original post. I can find plenty of healthy options to eat...I am bringing a lot of healthy options...I will eat some turkey. I just don't want to offend my mom. I know she will want me to try EVERYTHING. And it isn't as easy as a simple "no." Which is VERY evident by the mixed comments on this post. The posters can't even agree if I should just sit there and eat what she gives me or walk away and stand up for myself.
I do thank everyone for their input. I REALLY am appreciative of the people who really took time to answer my original post. I am going to read through all of them and hopefully I will come up with something that will work for me.
But please everyone...no more negative posts. It doesn't help anybody.0 -
If you have a food addiction then you need to handle it like any other drug. (when I quit smoking I stayed away from my smoker friends until I knew I could handle it without an issue) If you are just trying to lose weight, then listen to your mom. Eat what you want, go for a walk, its one day. Can't possibly screw up a diet/lifestyle for one day, u may not log food on here that day. It may give you a hormonal spike to lead to a loss anyway....But, if its an addiction, then you shouldn't go to thanksgiving until you are recovered, for it will lead to a downward spiral, perhpaps that is ok, only you know the answer to that. have your own day or something, I would think a person needs someone to support their situation so you should have planned it already so you're not alone unless u don't care.
and as far as food pushers go, that's my grandma god love her, I will always let her push her food, its her way of showing love, and I know to plan for it before I see her. She is in her 80's afterall, so I feel she can do what she wants, but to this day I drink her awful coffee (its awful but she likes making it and only will if someone else wants it so I say yes so she can enjoy it) but secretly I dump it down the sink when she isn't looking.0 -
I've seen it all over the boards..it's not what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it's what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Don't stress out over one day. Enjoy the time with family and the food, and get back on track the next day.
i agree with this and definitely how i plan on spending the holidays. 0 -
I agree with the posters who say "it's just one day". I don't plan to go crazy but I'm not going to stress out about it either. Planning to go on a run on Thanksgiving morning to give myself some room.
There are a few pushers I know and I've found if we're just talking about a piece of cake or that extra helping of pasta that saying "no thank you" often gets me an argument. "Oh, come on! What, you don't like my cooking?!" Etc. Instead I now say "maybe later" or "maybe in a few minutes". Usually they forget about it and I'm off the hook.0 -
I think its important to note that the meal is not just about you- its about a bunch of people coming together. And if most of the people aren't counting calories, well, that's just how it is. You are going to be outnumbered. You are going to have to buckle down and dig deep and find some will power. I say make some healthy sides, but don't be stingy and refuse to make things that others enjoy. Do both, and everyone will be happy. Steamed broccoli takes next to no effort, so I am sure you can make a little time to make a traditional dish that your loved ones will enjoy. And honestly, if its causing that much stress for you, I say take your Moms advice- just enjoy the holiday. Don't go crazy, but enjoy. Do a little extra workout to balance it out. That's what I've had to do. It's not worth starting a battle of the wills. 0
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This is what I do. I take their food, push it around the plate, divert attention elsewhere, say "this is delicious ", divert attention again, say I'm full, and take platter myself to sink.
How to divert attention - give them compliments (suck up to them). "your fill in the blank is gorgeous, where did you get it"
Most people won't notice if the food doesn't go in your mouth. If they do, then you say your on medication and if you eat such and such it will come right back up. That will stop the pushing. If they ask why your on medication say "stomache issues". Lie. You only have to do this or see these people once a year. If its your mom, then just divert attention to her beautiful personality.
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Please try to use portion control. Bringing your own food to someone's home is terribly rude. If you have enough self-control to forgo what others are eating in favour of a Lean Cuisine, then surely you have the self-control to sample everything without going overboard.
It's just a day. It doesn't have to completely derail anyone's progress.0
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