Thanksgiving Help....dreading the Food Pushers!

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  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Don't want to eat it, say no thank you.

    It's really simple. There isn't anybody shoving food down your gullett.
  • Christylee76
    Christylee76 Posts: 138 Member
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    Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.
  • IronDame
    IronDame Posts: 275
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    Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.
    That is so sad. I am sorry for your loss. :heart:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    It is Thanksgiving. I'll eat the food I want. That isn't the day for diet foods.
  • NoahandPresleysMom
    NoahandPresleysMom Posts: 763 Member
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    Actually, I agree with your mom, OP. It's a holiday. Eat the fattening foods and enjoy, then go back to "normal" eating on Friday.

    why?? My sister works the ER thanksgiving. She said she sees more heart attacks that day then any other
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 525 Member
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    I will never understand why people are freaking out about ONE day of eating yummy fattening foods. You didn't get fat in one day and sure aren't going to get skinny. Eat and be merry!

    do you understand the words "downward spiral'? its kind of easy for people like us.. not to mention foods like that make you crave more foods like that.. it's a slippery slope.. and defiantly something to fear.. it really is annoying when people who have a good handle on moderation and probably have never been more than 10 or 20 lbs overweight put their 2 cents in about this kind of thing.

    I do understand the word "downward spiral". Thanks for trying to insult my intelligence. You must be lacking carbohydrates...am I right? So just because I only needed to lose 20ish pounds (and yes I lost them) I have no right to put my 2 cents out there? Wrong. You think those 20 or so pounds were easy for me to lose? NO! It was not easy, it still isn’t easy and it NEVER will be easy. Nothing good in life is easy. I personally just think it is sad that so many people can’t enjoy a holiday and eat yummy foods. They are too busy worrying about the cals, carbs, fats and don’t take a moment to sit down and just enjoy a slice of pecan pie. I will eat extra for all of you that won’t allow yourselves one day of good fatty foods.
    :drinker:

    let me refer you to the mental health conversation i was having with another user. those who are grossly overweight and have no control, find these things much harder than the ones who get control after about 20l.bs.. i know those last 20lbs are brutal... and you are a rockstar for doing it.. but man.. you have no idea what it's like to be mentally sick over food..

    I completely skipped over every single post in here. So yes I missed that. I can't imagine being so over weight that it messes with my mind. That is why I took at stand at 20ish pounds over weight before it got worse than it already was. I truly wish everyone going through this struggle the best. *hugs* &keep your heads up!

    unfortunately it's the mind that makes you overweight in the first place.. not the other way around. some people just can't control it.. it's like a drug addiction.. and if they get around food, and eat what they want for one day, it could throw them off for who knows, just like any addict... it's very sad. Then there are people with disorders that are so bad that you can't even imagine.. check out my profile and learn about my son.. it'll give you a whole new outlook...
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I first off want to say that if you're not going to help this woman with REAL advice on getting rid of food pushers (not telling her to give in), then don't reply to this thread. There are some of us who DO work really hard, and plan on keeping in control on that day. And we don't want to have to work extra to get it off the following days when we've already been working so hard. If you choose not to do so, than that is 100% your choice. Please don't push your obviously unwanted and rude advice about eating on this holiday.

    And please don't bother quoting me if you plan on coming back with a "it's just one day, lighten up" or whatever. Your comments are insignificant and pointless. There are other threads on not planning your calories and plans that day. Why don't you mosey on over to them.

    Okay, so sorry for that rant. Was getting an eye twitch reading some of the posts on here.

    MY advice is to keep your hands busy! You'll be less likely to be pushed for food if they can see you already have something in your hand. We have food out before the main meal, so I like to completely fill up a plate with fruits and veggies (may need to bring some of your own if you know there wont be any, and other people DO like them) and get away from the other food.Why not take the chance to catch up with people in the other room? Then if a hostess comes over and offers something, it's obvious you're still working on your plate. Or I offer to be the chore person to keep me busy, or help out cooking a food (that i wont want to taste test).

    And as for the main meal, not sure what kind of style yours is, but ours is kind of a buffet style. I try to be one of the last ones to go. Then I can fill up my plate with all the healthy choices I want, and when I get to the table most people are so consumed with their own food they won't look at mine. And if they do try and get me to eat something else I'll say, "well let me get done eating this, and if i'm not full i'll have some!" (but of course you'll be "full" afterwards).

    And for after the meal/dessert, same goes with having your hands full and getting away from the tempations. Why not be the person who offers coffee to everyone? Then when everyone has some pour some for yourself (low in calories!) and just pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

    Though I will say moderation is of course key, there are things only come around once a year. Have just a little bit and move on.

    If you stick with your goals for the day, I can guarantee that you'll wake up proud!

    It is only one day, and you eat what you want. There is absolutely nor problem at all with eating foods that aren't normally part of your play. It is possible to eat them in smaller portions and control your calorie intake for the day. If that is just too hard, the way you deal with food pushers is to say no. It isn't their fault you choose to take a different approach to the holiday, and it is certainly not rude to point that out.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.

    This is so sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing - it's a great reminder about the things that are really important in life.
  • IronDame
    IronDame Posts: 275
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    Actually, I agree with your mom, OP. It's a holiday. Eat the fattening foods and enjoy, then go back to "normal" eating on Friday.

    why?? My sister works the ER thanksgiving. She said she sees more heart attacks that day then any other

    What about Christmas? I eat even worse that day! All the chocolates will be mine!!!!!!!!!!!
  • IronDame
    IronDame Posts: 275
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    Yes Kim this is for you.
    Wow that is sad. :( I hope you and your family get through this battle and beat the hell out of it. I've never even heard of such a thing. Best wishes to you and yours!
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 525 Member
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    im guessing that was for me... it is rough that nobody outside of the special needs community knows what prader will syndrome is.. awareness is nonexistent because it's so rare but, yes.. holidays are hard for us... keeping our kids away from the food..
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.

    That made my heart ache; no one should ever have to bury a child. Very sad that this is a regret for you; this is the exact thing I was talking about in my post about the things my mother makes for the holidays.

    As for the other comments...

    I am not insensitive when it comes to people with food addictions; in fact, just the opposite. But unlike alcohol (as someone brought up earlier), humans can't live without some form of food. So you can't just quit eating. The coping mechanisms for food addiction are different because we all eat food. If I had to liken food addiction to another kind of addiction, I wouldn't choose alcohol or cigarettes because we don't need to smoke or drink booze to survive. Food addiction is, in many ways, in a class by itself. If the OP is a genuine food addict or has other mental health issues that would preclude her from practicing some of the good advice that has been given, she probably should take her questions to a counselor rather than the forums of MFP.
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 525 Member
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    im guessing that was for me... it is rough that nobody outside of the special needs community knows what prader will syndrome is.. awareness is nonexistent because it's so rare but, yes.. holidays are hard for us... keeping our kids away from the food..

    i recall one horrible story about one kid that did so great his whole life.. he was thin and in great shape and one day, he got ahold of some money and his friends let him eat whatever he wanted. he ate 6 hamburgers and ruptured his stomach and died. totally tragic.. if left alone they'll eat themselves to death. my son will never be able to live independently no matter h0w intelligent he is..
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Let me just say that life is too short to stress over food.2 years ago my 16 year old son Casey begged me, I mean begged me to go to Cold Stone Creamery with him and I refused because I was watching my calories. Less than a month later he passed away in a car accident. What I would give for another chance to take him up on that offer. I would just hit the gym a little harder afterwards.

    That certainly brings it home. Sorry for your loss, and I am sure you did many, many other wonderful things for your son in his life.

    I think people need to seek balance, rather than avoidance. I would be the first to say I am slightly frightened of christmas because I will be surrounded by mince pies, cake, chocolates and the sugary things that I have often binged on in the past. But I am taking the mindset that this sort of food is always around, so there is no need to eat all of it in one day. And eating it until feeling sick, or unhappy with oneself ruins the experience anyway. It is a matter of constant reminders of why eating in moderation is the best path. The more it is practised, the more it will sink in and new patterns and ways of relating to food will be learnt.

    I totally understand the issue of not being able to stop at one for some people, as I am that way myself, but avoiding the issue doesn't resolve it. Facing it, and facing the whys and wherefores and challenging oneself is the best way forward, in my opinion. Often, spiralling out of control can be stopped by starting the next day with a good workout. Sitting and simply analysing and thinking about reasons to not spiral can also help, but takes work.
    There are many alcoholics who learn to be able to have just the occasional drink and don't spiral back into their old ways and I think people with an addiction to food can achieve the same, with the right mindset, work and determination.
  • IronDame
    IronDame Posts: 275
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    im guessing that was for me... it is rough that nobody outside of the special needs community knows what prader will syndrome is.. awareness is nonexistent because it's so rare but, yes.. holidays are hard for us... keeping our kids away from the food..

    i recall one horrible story about one kid that did so great his whole life.. he was thin and in great shape and one day, he got ahold of some money and his friends let him eat whatever he wanted. he ate 6 hamburgers and ruptured his stomach and died. totally tragic.. if left alone they'll eat themselves to death. my son will never be able to live independently no matter h0w intelligent he is..

    That is so heartbreaking. I am surprised this isn't talked about more often.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Ive lost 100 pounds. Am I cool enough to be allowed to understand? Or not yet? When am I cool? Yall tell me - I'll wait over here. I'll be doing pushups.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    In my family we EAT, DRINK, and be MERRY!

    Humor your mother and have a little bit of what she makes and thats that. Maybe bring up the idea of a nice walk after to setle the tummies?

    In my family/culture if we do not make what mom/grandmother makes, we are in big trouble. Huge sign of disrecpect and my mother will get emotional lol...or maybe thats all the wine who knows.

    Anyways - peronsally, I do not count thanksgiving as a day to watch my diet.
  • kimcalica
    kimcalica Posts: 525 Member
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    I've been in therapy 11 years and have a terrible addictive personality.. but i'm kicking *kitten* and now i'm addicted to exercise.. lol.. i am mostly a success story.. i just have my weight to lose.. 15 lbs in my first month though! i'm on fire!
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    Hurt their feelings? What about your health? Look there are people in my life that I love, but I am just not eating junk that I don't eat. I always have the "I had a heart attack, excuse." But I have never had to use it.

    Enjoy them, and learn to say "no thanks."

    Remember, this is YOUR new life, not theirs.
  • o2bADyer
    o2bADyer Posts: 208
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    FREE day... I look back on all the times that I've tried to keep in weight standards or this diet or that one, and all the wonderful food I've missed.. you should just enjoy yourself in moderation, be thankful that you have good food and company this year, and press on with your schedule/routine on friday, one day won't kill you, just don't over do it.


    as for the rest of it..small portions, make one plate, eat slow. but still enjoy yourself some, you've worked hard, and earned it

    Yes...I agree with this! Holidays come once a year. You didn't gain the weight that you're struggling to lose from one day of indulging.

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