Why dont girls come up to guys

135

Replies

  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
    because they keep taking out restraining orders against me... fuggers
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
    I'm 45 and just getting to the age where I realize that as a female just approaching & talking to someone doesn't mean you're hitting on them. I talk to everyone now. So it could just be an age thing for you, maybe the girls just aren't as confident yet.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    because they keep taking out restraining orders against me... fuggers

    I would welcome you in with open arms Red. :flowerforyou:
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    And men aren't shallow? They generally approach the thinner/more attractive women as well.

    Do you know for a fact they aren't approaching you because of your weight?

    If you're approaching someone randomly it's based off looks yes, considering the guys women do approach tend to be very fit.
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    unfortunately, most people are. that includes men :smile:
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    I think many men are too intimidated by a pretty girl to approach her, so they never meet! I see nothing wrong with being a confident woman and making the first move. I've done it several times and never regretted it.

    I dont think it is the intimidation factor but more of the she is too good looking to be available factor.

    REALLY? Men assume good looking women are always taken?

    In my community (a separate, self-contained community on the outskirts of Phoenix), the women are mostly married. The nature of my area is not conducive for single women. So, when I see a good looking woman, with or without a ring, I tend to assume she's married. Besides, unless I see a common ground between us, just walking up with the intention of asking her out makes me feel like a creep. :ohwell:

    ETA: I'm always alone, or with my son or a dog, and have yet to be approached. :sad:
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
    First of all, not all guys dig girls being the first to approach.
    Second of all, sometimes half the fun is getting the guy to approach :-P
    Third of all, not only did I approach my current bf but I also challenged him to a dance off. Best relationship I've ever been in :-P
  • guapogringo
    guapogringo Posts: 201
    happens to me fairly regularly. Usually at the grocery store. Had it happen a few times as Starbucks as well. Women always seem curious about what I am reading. I am married so this, of course, doesn't go anywhere but I usually don't mind the attention or a nice conversation
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    And men aren't shallow? They generally approach the thinner/more attractive women as well.

    Do you know for a fact they aren't approaching you because of your weight?

    Some men & women are, and some aren't.
  • mramirez1981
    mramirez1981 Posts: 134
    I think many men are too intimidated by a pretty girl to approach her, so they never meet! I see nothing wrong with being a confident woman and making the first move. I've done it several times and never regretted it.

    I dont think it is the intimidation factor but more of the she is too good looking to be available factor.

    REALLY? Men assume good looking women are always taken?

    In my community (a separate, self-contained community on the outskirts of Phoenix), the women are mostly married. The nature of my area is not conducive for single women. So, when I see a good looking woman, with or without a ring, I tend to assume she's married. Besides, unless I see a common ground between us, just walking up with the intention of asking her out makes me feel like a creep. :ohwell:

    ETA: I'm always alone, or with my son or a dog, and have yet to be approached. :sad:

    Interesting. So who are men asking out if they are assuming that most good looking women are taken?
  • Haltermania
    Haltermania Posts: 288 Member
    Biologically speaking, boys are the predators and girls are the prey. :wink:

    this is what i've found. - or maybe have a mental block with this and therefore cant just go upto guys. :smile:

    also i'm generally friendly and have had way too many experiences of friendliness being taken for the thinking 'oohh she likes me'.

    so come on, share some hints and tips on what we can do when approaching a guy?

    Me personally i love sports so if you like sports its fun when a girl knows sports or the team you like or the arch rival. If a girl came up to me that was a cowboys fan it would be fun to talk smack to each other. I have noticed when a guy looks at you several times and hasent come over, he wants to talk but hasent thought of a good way to come over without looking like a creep, if you notice that you could walk over or get closer and hope he says something to you
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    ya, we're so shallow. we're so shallow and self absorbed that we only approach men who generally seem to respect women and arent so lacking in self confidence. thats the other thing about us shallow women.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    I approach everyone. I'm one of those people that talks to everyone around them out in public regardless of gender, age, looks, etc. Typically though, women don't approach men because they have bad self-esteem and want that feeling of knowing ahead of time that the guy is interested... which usually means the guy approaching them.
  • mramirez1981
    mramirez1981 Posts: 134
    First of all, not all guys dig girls being the first to approach.
    Second of all, sometimes half the fun is getting the guy to approach :-P
    Third of all, not only did I approach my current bf but I also challenged him to a dance off. Best relationship I've ever been in :-P

    I've never met a man who wasn't happy to be approached. Maybe they are just being nice, but I've never gotten that vibe.
  • willwillywilson
    willwillywilson Posts: 229
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    ya, we're so shallow. we're so shallow and self absorbed that we only approach men who generally seem to respect women and arent so lacking in self confidence. thats the other thing about us shallow women.

    And you can tell how much respect a guy has for you by judging his fitness level? LOL I doubt it. There is no way any woman responding how they've approached guys before went off anything other than pure looks.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    I think many men are too intimidated by a pretty girl to approach her, so they never meet! I see nothing wrong with being a confident woman and making the first move. I've done it several times and never regretted it.

    I dont think it is the intimidation factor but more of the she is too good looking to be available factor.

    REALLY? Men assume good looking women are always taken?

    In my community (a separate, self-contained community on the outskirts of Phoenix), the women are mostly married. The nature of my area is not conducive for single women. So, when I see a good looking woman, with or without a ring, I tend to assume she's married. Besides, unless I see a common ground between us, just walking up with the intention of asking her out makes me feel like a creep. :ohwell:

    ETA: I'm always alone, or with my son or a dog, and have yet to be approached. :sad:

    Interesting. So who are men asking out if they are assuming that most good looking women are taken?

    Majority of the time they are not or settling for another. Hate to word it like that...just KIR.
  • mramirez1981
    mramirez1981 Posts: 134
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    ya, we're so shallow. we're so shallow and self absorbed that we only approach men who generally seem to respect women and arent so lacking in self confidence. thats the other thing about us shallow women.

    And you can tell how much respect a guy has for you by judging his fitness level? LOL I doubt it. There is no way any woman responding how they've approached guys before went off anything other than pure looks.

    That's simply not true. I've approached men because they were the life of the party and I loved their personality.
  • crimsoncat
    crimsoncat Posts: 457 Member
    I "stalked" my fiance around our highschool band room until he liked me. Does that count?
  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
    because they keep taking out restraining orders against me... fuggers

    I would welcome you in with open arms Red. :flowerforyou:

    :wink: :wink: :heart:
  • SabrinaLily
    SabrinaLily Posts: 121
    Some girls do- that's how I met my husband. I had a few drinks on ladies night, started making jokes about the freak television programming on TLC and started surveying the bar about it. Mind you, I had a few drinks but I'm kinda out there and loud to begin with. Long story short, I made him laugh and we've been together over 7 years now :) Just depends although I tend to think women under age 40 are *generally* more likely to approach a guy than those over that age.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Well, obviously I can't speak for everyone because unfortunately what works for one person won't work for another :P

    I'm going to say it depends on the woman ;) Some women are very old-fashioned and like to be romanced and chased by the man. Others find that sort of thing annoying and un-attractive.

    Personally I never liked to have guys come and talk to me out of the blue. I find shy men incredibly attractive, I LIKE guys who are a little scared, unsure, I adore being able to experience life through their eyes. men who know everything and have had every experience out there just don't interest me so a guy that will just randomly walk up to me for no reason without any kind of encouragement on my part generally won't get too far. I tend to like to make the first move - but not all the moves :P
    It's your test!. . Women instinctually want to make babies with Bold, Strong men. . It's evolution. . It's why the human race survived. . Ever watch nature shows? The male is ALWAYS the aggressor and the female always seems like she's yawning. . . same with people!
    :laugh:

    Every woman will like something different honestly..not all women like 'strong aggressive men'. I'd rather make babies with someone who can carry an intelligent conversation and knows how to treat a woman like a treasure..I should direct your attention to the lion pride..it is the FEMALE who hunts and takes care of her mate, SHE is the dominant :tongue:
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    I think many men are too intimidated by a pretty girl to approach her, so they never meet! I see nothing wrong with being a confident woman and making the first move. I've done it several times and never regretted it.

    I dont think it is the intimidation factor but more of the she is too good looking to be available factor.

    REALLY? Men assume good looking women are always taken?

    In my community (a separate, self-contained community on the outskirts of Phoenix), the women are mostly married. The nature of my area is not conducive for single women. So, when I see a good looking woman, with or without a ring, I tend to assume she's married. Besides, unless I see a common ground between us, just walking up with the intention of asking her out makes me feel like a creep. :ohwell:

    ETA: I'm always alone, or with my son or a dog, and have yet to be approached. :sad:

    Interesting. So who are men asking out if they are assuming that most good looking women are taken?

    I don't know. I can only speak for myself in my little part of the world. I'm sure things would be much different for me if I moved into another part of town where the % of married-to-single women wasn't so upside-down.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I think it's because they don't have to....honestly women get approached all the time....if you ever question this, watch chris rock's special and especially this segment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90qpDg5y7Lo \m/
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Because I don't want to talk to people.
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
    I think many men are too intimidated by a pretty girl to approach her, so they never meet! I see nothing wrong with being a confident woman and making the first move. I've done it several times and never regretted it.

    I dont think it is the intimidation factor but more of the she is too good looking to be available factor.

    REALLY? Men assume good looking women are always taken?

    In my community (a separate, self-contained community on the outskirts of Phoenix), the women are mostly married. The nature of my area is not conducive for single women. So, when I see a good looking woman, with or without a ring, I tend to assume she's married. Besides, unless I see a common ground between us, just walking up with the intention of asking her out makes me feel like a creep. :ohwell:

    ETA: I'm always alone, or with my son or a dog, and have yet to be approached. :sad:

    Interesting. So who are men asking out if they are assuming that most good looking women are taken?

    Majority of the time they are not or settling for another. Hate to word it like that...just KIR.

    Yup this is true.
  • mramirez1981
    mramirez1981 Posts: 134
    I think it's because they don't have to....honestly women get approached all the time....if you ever question this, watch chris rock's special and especially this segment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90qpDg5y7Lo \m/

    True, but that's why it's fun to turn the table every once in a while.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    Well I know the reason they don't come up to me (fat). Women are generally pretty shallow.

    ya, we're so shallow. we're so shallow and self absorbed that we only approach men who generally seem to respect women and arent so lacking in self confidence. thats the other thing about us shallow women.

    And you can tell how much respect a guy has for you by judging his fitness level? LOL I doubt it. There is no way any woman responding how they've approached guys before went off anything other than pure looks.

    that wasnt for men in general that was specifically directed towards you...when did i say anything about someones fitness level? i said CONFIDENCE. i am someone who will talk to anyone and i dont judge (look at my friends list, all sorts of ppl!) ive appproached guys for looks, yes, dance moves 100%, lol, but really its a confidence factor for me. i like someone who is comfortable in theur own skin, smiling, having a good time and looks like they can enjoy themselves. CONFIDENCE. when u find urs youll see a differnce. ur right, no one picks out the guy sulking in the corner about how 'fat' he is. nope. or the guy who thinks all women are shallow. not him either.
  • jedikrissy
    jedikrissy Posts: 106 Member
    I think it can be for many of reasons. Some women are shy others prefer to be approached or they have fear of rejection. For me personally I never have or will approach a man because I have no self confidence or self esteem. I think I am to ugly, unattractive and simply not good enough to approach any man that may appeal to me. I guess every woman has her own reasons.
  • mramirez1981
    mramirez1981 Posts: 134
    I think it's because they don't have to....honestly women get approached all the time....if you ever question this, watch chris rock's special and especially this segment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90qpDg5y7Lo \m/

    True, but that's why it's fun to turn the table every once in a while.
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
    First of all, not all guys dig girls being the first to approach.
    Second of all, sometimes half the fun is getting the guy to approach :-P
    Third of all, not only did I approach my current bf but I also challenged him to a dance off. Best relationship I've ever been in :-P

    I've never met a man who wasn't happy to be approached. Maybe they are just being nice, but I've never gotten that vibe.

    Its the chase. If a girl approaches a guy of course he's flattered but then he knows he's got you....over before it starts....

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