respones to friend requests

runner2runner

I know this is an unusual topic to post, but there's something that's been bothering me for a while since I joined this site. While I don't dispute that it's well within people's rights to do so, I just want to know what you think about not responding to friend requests, even if it's to let the person sending the request know that you're not interested in adding them. Personally I think it's not cool to just outright ignore a friend request. Even if you're not interested in adding people or a specific person, the right thing to do is to at least send that person a message or something to at least let them know that you're not accepting friend requests. That way, at least you both know where you stand. And while I understand that it shouldn't be your problem, some people are very sensitive and might be hurt and wonder if they did or said something wrong or even whether there's something wrong with them to make you ignore their friend request. Again, while I understand that people have every right to ignore friend requests, I just think it's only appropriate to at least let the other person know whether you're accepting their friend request or not.

After all, this is a site for people to not only share their amazing and inspiring stories but to also share fitness related ideas and tips and most importantly to encourage each other through positive feedback in our quest to achieve our goals. What I like about this site is that unlike say Facebook, where you actually have to know the person to send them a friend request, here most of us (from all over the world) don't actually know each other but we're still able to interact with each other, share stories, ideas and spread all round positive energy. I've actually started to feel more positive about myself and my life since joining this site. Which is why I find it very difficult to understand why people can ignore friend requests on myfitnesspal. I mean, it's not like the person is looking for a date or something. Anyone with a brain can see that this is not a dating site. So if you get a friend request, don't be quick to just ignore it, accept it and if the person turns out to be a creep, or doesn't encourage other people on the site, or is rude or full of negativity, you can always delete them from your profile.

I'd just like to clarify that I'm not trying to dictate to people how they should go about their business. I was merely just raising the issue and making suggestions. So what are your thoughts on this issue of ignoring friend requests?

I wish everyone here well and hope you all succeed in achieving your goals.

QTRARO

I generally add people who post interesting things on the forum... I don't mind if people don't add me that is fine it's not personal, it's their decision.

It is nice to have a support network though so I will continue adding people .. and if they add me I don't think twice to accept a friend request. It's all good.

RunMyOregonBunsOff

I accept pretty much all friend request. If somebody is way creepy, then I won't feel bad about giving them the boot.

obsidianwings

I never have ignored a friend request (then again I haven't had many), but I don't really have a problem with it.

SweetCheekszx0

I accept pretty much all friend request. If somebody is way creepy, then I won't feel bad about giving them the boot.

This ❤????

Sarauk2sf

I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining? I am also not about to PM the peeps I think are creepers - that would be an awkward message.

angelinabarnes

add me i like support and motivation from as many fp mates as i can

imkegoal

I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.
If someone does send a friend request and informs me why they decided to befriend me, I accept their request, unless the reason is out of the ordinary, but that hasn't happened to me before.
It may mean i haven't got many 'friends' on my counter, but atleast the ones that are on there are ones that I know I have something in common with.

2essie

I would accept friend requests from people who tell me a bit about themselves and have open diaries. I am only really interested inn people who are serious about loosing weight, giving advice and receiving advice. I am not interested in people who collect friends for the sake of it. I have a small friend base but we all are very supportive of each other. I can't support people if I have hundreds of friends.

TavistockToad

I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.
If someone does send a friend request and informs me why they decided to befriend me, I accept their request, unless the reason is out of the ordinary, but that hasn't happened to me before.
It may mean i haven't got many 'friends' on my counter, but atleast the ones that are on there are ones that I know I have something in common with.

this.

i have accepted some blank requests if i read their profile and they seem to be at a similar place to me. but i find a lot of people just want a big friends list, they dont comment, they dont support and they dont respond to comments i make, so i ditch them!

AggieFan2011

I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.
If someone does send a friend request and informs me why they decided to befriend me, I accept their request, unless the reason is out of the ordinary, but that hasn't happened to me before.
It may mean i haven't got many 'friends' on my counter, but atleast the ones that are on there are ones that I know I have something in common with.

I agree with this. I add pretty much anyone who sends me a request as long as I am given a reason as to why the request is being sent. If it is from a person who I have not said could add me and has not responded to a message board post about adding people then I feel no need to accept the request. The least you could do is send a message stating why you would like to be friends with me. I understand that this site is about motivating and supporting each other, but I also do not feel the need to have hundreds of friends. It would be pretty hard to truly invest in supporting and motivating that many people, but that's just my opinion.

joehempel

On my profile I have a message. If they don't follow my request when adding (no under 21, no under 1200 calorie, no message), then I just ignore. Plus my list is small, and I want to keep it that way, I can't communicate with everyone if my list is like 200 people long.

JennW130

I accept pretty much all friend request. If somebody is way creepy, then I won't feel bad about giving them the boot.

this.

Shrelana

I accept pretty much all friend request. If somebody is way creepy, then I won't feel bad about giving them the boot.

This ❤????

Same here

thisisjl

I don't accept all requests, if I get ones with no message and I don't recognize the person as someone I've spoken to in the forums I generally won't accept it. I want to "know" the people on my list so I can better support them. I figure they shouldn't expect a response from me if I'm declining them if they couldn't even spend two seconds to tell me where I might know them from.

taunto

I like to keep my friends list tiny. Since I'm fairly active on my friends statuses and on the forums, its obvious that I get decent amount of FRs. Unfortunately, I have to decline most of them because if I didn't, I would endup having 900+ friends and I think thats unfair to the folks who support me and I would feel terrible for not returning the favor.

Why do I not give them an e-mail or something telling them why I declined? Same reasons I don't tell anyone when I delete them.

1) I don't have the ego to think I matter to them so much that they would be miserable. I do not have that kind of mentality. Though I do politely explain to them if they happen to e-mail me regarding it

2) why start drama? Most of the time, they don't even notice till wayyyy after. I got an email about me deleting somebody 2 weeks after I deleted them where she was screaming at me (some folks are not used to being rejected I suppose). She didn't even realized that I had deleted her for a while but when she did, she was angry about it. Imagine what I would have to deal with if I had to email everyone who I declined an FR from and deleted from my FR.

3) And this is the most important one in my humble opinion. I don't owe anyone an explanation. Yes, this is a support site. Yes, I am supportive and hod many folks on my list very dear (some who are not even on my list I hold very dear). But this doesn't mean I owe ANYONE here an explanation. I am doing this for ME and ME alone. Does this make me sound like an *kitten*? Maybe. Do I care? Sorry but nope.

I understand where you're coming from but try to understand where we're coming from too.

babeinthemoon

Meh. :grumble:

Give me a reason for why you sent the FR, and I'll accept 99% of the time. :flowerforyou:

If you don't, I'll send a "form letter" saying thanks for the FR... and asking why they decided to ask... and how I can best support them on their journey. More than half of the time I don't get a response, so I delete the request. :brokenheart:

If you don't have the time to answer a simple question, then I'm sure you wouldn't have the time to support me in my efforts if I needed the extra motivation on a particular day. :drinker:

Yep, I love the smileys. They make life so much more fun!

Snitch1

Hello OP:

While I do understand that people new to the site, such as yourself post questions like this, let me explain a few things.

1) Almost everyone on here has on their page a disclaimer saying basically "No msg=No accept."
Why?
Why would I want to be friends with someone who cannot even take the time to READ my profile to see if we have something in common before asking?:noway:

2) Some of us have very real friendship that have begun on this site. We write real letters, send cards, talk on the phone and Skype. If we have a huge FL, then it would be unmanageable, and personally, each and every one of my friends means a lot to me. I want FRIENDS, not acquaintances. I go through my FL weekly, and if someone is not active-out they go. Do I write them and tell them? Nope.

3) And, this IS a HUGE DATING site..you just have to know where to look, what forums to look into, etc. Not everyone on here is here to lose weight. Many people have lost and are maintaining..maintaining friendships and..other things.:blushing:

4) There are a HUGE number of people here with ED's (Eating Disorder's) These people have enough to handle without me telling them: "Hey, sorry, I do not want you on my FL because you are TOXIC to me."

5) And, last but not least: After you have been here 3-4 months, you will notice the "newbies" post the same questions that have been asked/answered over and over and over, instead of perhaps, taking the time to look in TOPIC'S, to see if that has been asked/answered already.

So, there you have my opinion..and my father told me they are like belly buttons..everyone has one!

Sis Nicolette

Restybaby2012

I dont...as a rule send a friend request. Nor do I delete...well until recently. The only ones I deleted are those who havent signed in for more than 60 days. I try to respond to every SINGLE REQUEST....and every single person on my news feed (I think that's what it's called anyway) If my FL gets too long maybe I'll re-think things but not likely.

There have been a couple requests Ive sent because Ive liked something they posted somewhere...usually I tell them what and where so they know.

(fwiw...the word is responSE) spelling and punctuation are not my specialty... I just couldnt resist.

kateq321

I only accept requests from people who have a little be of info about themselves on their profile. I don't like accepting randomers with no info as you never know who they might be!!!!

EvgeniZyntx

I pretty much accept any FR - I do not give a reason if I don't because it is usually a request coming from someone without a message, without a profile. I don't have the usual disclaimer because I do not feel I should induce you to be communicative. If you can't figure out that the great white box is useful for an intro or a profile, I can't expect that you'll be interacting in an interesting and significant way with me. I'm trying to be supportive and do expect a demonstration that there is a living, breathing, feeling person there.
I have not dropped many people from my FL except for a few spammers selling health products and a few people that dropped out of sight after zero interaction. No msg so far. If I get dropped, there are a bunch of friends I'd be bummed about, I care about those, but otherwise I'll survive, I figure that somehow I wasn't a useful match for them or something else is going on in their lives.