respones to friend requests

124

Replies

  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I agree with the majority of what has been said but wonder about people that have 200-500+ friends...really...you interact with them all. i want people that I can interact with and who share them same goals, humour, etc. If you have 500 friends and you know all that is going on in their lives then you need a life other than MFP and you won`t be helpful to me.

    Which is why I don't accept FR's anymore.
  • c8linmarie
    c8linmarie Posts: 358 Member
    I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining? I am also not about to PM the peeps I think are creepers - that would be an awkward message.

    +1
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

    But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....
    :laugh:

    If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

    Scratches you off my "to do " list..... :tongue:
    :sad:
  • I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

    But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....
    :laugh:

    If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

    Scratches you off my "to do " list..... :tongue:
    :sad:

    Seriously, I have a very awesome and diverse friend list. :smile:
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member

    So what are your thoughts on this issue of ignoring friend requests?

    I don't ignore them, I just decline most of them.

    I do this too.
  • kayduro
    kayduro Posts: 249 Member
    I haven't read any of the responses yet but personally, for me, I am looking for very specific people to add as my friends. I usually only add females who are my same age and have similar goals. Sure, I do have a friend in her 20s and a female bodybuilder on my list but 90% of my friends fall into my previous stated parameters. The reason I choose so specifically is because at the same age and weight loss, we will have much more in common than say...a 20 something single Dad who lives with his parents. I want to be able to relate to my group of friends.

    As for your question on why people don't respond to friend requests and just leave you hanging without an explanation...I see it like Facebook. I have friended people on Facebook who have not answered me and I just move on. Same for here. Don't take it personal. Maybe you don't fit what that person is looking for. Don't let it hurt your feelings.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    I deny almost every friend request. It gives me a feeling of power.
    I don't send a response because that would imply that they are my equals.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I agree with the majority of what has been said but wonder about people that have 200-500+ friends...really...you interact with them all. i want people that I can interact with and who share them same goals, humour, etc. If you have 500 friends and you know all that is going on in their lives then you need a life other than MFP and you won`t be helpful to me.

    Which is why I don't accept FR's anymore.

    I have almost 800 friends. There are about 100 that I am active with - the other 700 think I am a twitter feed they subscribe to. They dont interact with me and I dont interact with them.

    Not everyone uses the connect feature so they can keep up with each other - lots and lots of us use it as - people who talk about things that are awesome and fun and I want them in my news feed -
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

    But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....
    :laugh:

    If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

    Scratches you off my "to do " list..... :tongue:
    :sad:

    Seriously, I have a very awesome and diverse friend list. :smile:
    This is just a trick to get me to look at your profile, isn't it?
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    I deny almost every friend request. It gives me a feeling of power.
    I don't send a response because that would imply that they are my equals.

    mortals...sheesh
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
    I usually send a "it's not me, it's you" message with my declines.
  • I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

    But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....
    :laugh:

    If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

    Scratches you off my "to do " list..... :tongue:
    :sad:

    Seriously, I have a very awesome and diverse friend list. :smile:
    This is just a trick to get me to look at your profile, isn't it?

    You got me. I was hoping you would check out my junk pics in my profile.... :devil:
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    This sounds like a very one sided problem. I bet OP is male without pictures of chiseled abs in his profile.

    You're right about one thing. I am male. But on the contrary, I do have fairly chiseled abs. Check out the photos on my pofile. Just saying.
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    By no means do I have the largest friend list of anyone here, but it already has grown to a size where I can't be supportive to everyone on it & still have a life outside of MFP. For this reason I do occasionally decline FRs, but only if I've looked at the person's profile & see that they've provided some information about themselves or included a message with the FR. I can't help you if I don't know anything about you & you probably can't help me either. And no I don't feel compelled to send a message saying why I'm declining if it's someone I've never interacted with on the forums or anywhere else. If someone who FR'ed me wants to know why, they can message me & ask.

    I get that this is the interwebz & having more people to support you should be a good thing right? Well I'm working on something here too & I need to make sure the posts I see in my feed are from positive people I can relate to as far as WL goes. I don't befriend everyone I cross paths with in real life either because that doesn't help me.

    Just my $0.02.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    I respond with " Negative ghost rider...the pattern if full "
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    MFP Rules Regarding Friend Requests:

    If you don't accept someone, regardless of if they include a message or not, you are a jerk.

    If you accept everyone you'll have a large friends list you can't keep up with, making you a jerk.



    Once you accept that someone here is always going to hate you no matter what you do you can relax and just start doing whatever the hell you want.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I agree with the majority of what has been said but wonder about people that have 200-500+ friends...really...you interact with them all. i want people that I can interact with and who share them same goals, humour, etc. If you have 500 friends and you know all that is going on in their lives then you need a life other than MFP and you won`t be helpful to me.

    Which is why I don't accept FR's anymore.

    I have almost 800 friends. There are about 100 that I am active with - the other 700 think I am a twitter feed they subscribe to. They dont interact with me and I dont interact with them.

    Not everyone uses the connect feature so they can keep up with each other - lots and lots of us use it as - people who talk about things that are awesome and fun and I want them in my news feed -

    But that's your personal choice, Yoovie. I felt like I was missing important stuff on the newsfeed when I had too many friends. People that I interacted with most often had stuff going on in their lives and I wanted to offer them my support, but I was missing it.

    Also, I'm not especially fond of getting deleted which many seem to do after adding you and not feeling supported enough so I prefer to keep my list to those I'm closest to.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    MFP Rules Regarding Friend Requests:

    If you don't accept someone, regardless of if they include a message or not, you are a jerk.

    If you accept everyone you'll have a large friends list you can't keep up with, making you a jerk.



    Once you accept that someone here is always going to hate you no matter what you do you can relax and just start doing whatever the hell you want.
    nah, you're still a jerk \m/
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    MFP Rules Regarding Friend Requests:

    If you don't accept someone, regardless of if they include a message or not, you are a jerk.

    If you accept everyone you'll have a large friends list you can't keep up with, making you a jerk.



    Once you accept that someone here is always going to hate you no matter what you do you can relax and just start doing whatever the hell you want.

    This is why I :heart: you!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    This sounds like a very one sided problem. I bet OP is male without pictures of chiseled abs in his profile.

    You're right about one thing. I am male. But on the contrary, I do have fairly chiseled abs. Check out the photos on my pofile. Just saying.

    All I see is legs... but they're purdy legs! :wink:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I will accept anyone who adds a note. If they can't bother to add a note I can't bother to accept them and they certainly don't deserve a response telling them that.
  • HowieTwoPointZero
    HowieTwoPointZero Posts: 494 Member
    MFP Rules Regarding Friend Requests:

    If you don't accept someone, regardless of if they include a message or not, you are a jerk.

    If you accept everyone you'll have a large friends list you can't keep up with, making you a jerk.



    Once you accept that someone here is always going to hate you no matter what you do you can relax and just start doing whatever the hell you want.

    Since you both declined, then accepted mine, that makes you a double jerk.

    Also I learned from Brett that the site filters profanity in friend requests. WTF.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    I pretty much accept most friend requests with or without a message. If they don't include a note, I don't get too worked up about it, I just assume the reason they want to be my 'MFP friend" is because of what MFP is supposed to be about... Support. I like it when they take the time to write a short message, but I don't require it. If its a hot woman, message or not, that's an automatic 'accept'. :devil: :devil: Shallow you say? Yes, but I don't lose sleep over that.:noway: :noway: However, when I send out a FR, I always include a message because its the cool thing to do. :drinker:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    MFP Rules Regarding Friend Requests:

    If you don't accept someone, regardless of if they include a message or not, you are a jerk.

    If you accept everyone you'll have a large friends list you can't keep up with, making you a jerk.



    Once you accept that someone here is always going to hate you no matter what you do you can relax and just start doing whatever the hell you want.

    Since you both declined, then accepted mine, that makes you a double jerk.

    Also I learned from Brett that the site filters profanity in friend requests. WTF.

    YOU'RE the jerk, jerkface!!


    (dear mods, he's a friend, we're joking, please don't send me to the bad place)
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    It usually depends on my mood. I'm in a good mood today.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

    But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....
    :laugh:

    If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

    Scratches you off my "to do " list..... :tongue:
    :sad:

    Seriously, I have a very awesome and diverse friend list. :smile:
    This is just a trick to get me to look at your profile, isn't it?

    You got me. I was hoping you would check out my junk pics in my profile.... :devil:
    Ha ha, well the jokes on you because I didn't look at your pictures, just your friend's list, and only the first two pages! :tongue:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Oh. I am guilty of ignoring friend requests. I was on this site for a long time before I accepted friend requests. I have a few friends now and I give the obligatory "nice job" or "that's awesome" and to one young girl going through a hard time I offered what advice and sympathy I could.

    I really couldn't give a reason why I chose the few I have. Something about them struck a chord I guess.

    Maybe it's my age, or maybe it's too many years in IT working to keep the stalkers and social phishers at bay, but this whole "friends" thing with strangers from the internet is a bit odd to me.
  • Lalouse
    Lalouse Posts: 221 Member
    I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.

    I completely agree with this. Plus, like others said, I generally reject males with hundreds of young female pals.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    I like to keep my friends list tiny. Since I'm fairly active on my friends statuses and on the forums, its obvious that I get decent amount of FRs. Unfortunately, I have to decline most of them because if I didn't, I would endup having 900+ friends and I think thats unfair to the folks who support me and I would feel terrible for not returning the favor.

    Why do I not give them an e-mail or something telling them why I declined? Same reasons I don't tell anyone when I delete them.

    1) I don't have the ego to think I matter to them so much that they would be miserable. I do not have that kind of mentality. Though I do politely explain to them if they happen to e-mail me regarding it

    2) why start drama? Most of the time, they don't even notice till wayyyy after. I got an email about me deleting somebody 2 weeks after I deleted them where she was screaming at me (some folks are not used to being rejected I suppose). She didn't even realized that I had deleted her for a while but when she did, she was angry about it. Imagine what I would have to deal with if I had to email everyone who I declined an FR from and deleted from my FR.

    3) And this is the most important one in my humble opinion. I don't owe anyone an explanation. Yes, this is a support site. Yes, I am supportive and hod many folks on my list very dear (some who are not even on my list I hold very dear). But this doesn't mean I owe ANYONE here an explanation. I am doing this for ME and ME alone. Does this make me sound like an *kitten*? Maybe. Do I care? Sorry but nope.

    I understand where you're coming from but try to understand where we're coming from too.

    Hi taunto.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    It usually depends on my mood. I'm in a good mood today.

    Good. Go make me a sammich.