respones to friend requests

HypersonicFitNess

I do not usually decline a friend invite NOW....however when I first joined the site..I was a little freaked when I got a couple of friend invites, I didn't know who they were, there was no message...I thought they were a stalker.

RikanSoulja

If someone sends me a friend request with no message with it. I will check out their profile to see if we have similar goals or if they are motivating. If they don't or their profile is private I just straight out ignore it. The 3 Ps you know (Patient's Pain is not my Problem) or this case feelings.

pen2u

Don't take it personally - some people are rude, some sidetracked, some just prefer to be anonymous for various reasons and need to limit their friends. It would be nice if people would send a message when declining, but these days it seems we've ditched Miss Manners etiquette rules. Starting a weight loss program can be emotionally charged if we're dealing with issues from our past. Acknowledge your sensitivity and don't put yourself in positions that exacerbate it until you feel stronger.

If you're looking for a reason to stop working on your weight loss, I guess you'll find one. IMO, let this issue go and keep logging in. This isn't junior high school - you're a grown up; shake it off & move on.

yoovie

I outright ignore friend requests from people who have never interacted with me, whom Ive never noticed, who don't include a message, who say creepy lecherous sexual things, who dont have a picture, who I get a creepy vibe from.

I am NOT required to interact with every loony freaking stranger in the universe just cause they have the posable thumbs to make an MFP account.

People who get up in arms about not responding to strangers on the internet are the same people who are all about neighborhood safety in real life... so I dont get the maddening inconsistency.

I dont have to interact with people I cant see just because they clicked a button.

This entire theory is terrifying.

Some crazy people need you to only respond one time before they go ballistic and turn into real life stalkers, just because you gave them an in.

Dont be crazy or stupid about internet safety. Only talk to hot people.

Booksandbeaches

i have accepted some blank requests if i read their profile and they seem to be at a similar place to me. but i find a lot of people just want a big friends list, they dont comment, they dont support and they dont respond to comments i make, so i ditch them!

I dropped a few who seemed to be friend collectors or lady friend collectors. There was one fellow who had many 200 MFP friends. They were all young women in a certain age range. I have accepted blank requests, but when I see someone with no profile information, no picture and a private diary, I don't accept the request anymore. At least throw me a bone ..give me some information about you and why you want to be my friend. I've also deleted people who don't provide any feedback at all for months at a time. Right now I'm keeping my friends list to a certain core group who have helped me all these months. I'm pretty close to some of them and we contact each other outside the board too.

yoovie

The 3 Ps you know (Patient's Pain is not my Problem).

Well, at least now I finally know the truth, that doctors/therapists couldnt give half of a rabid rat's *kitten* about helping me.

MoreBean13

OP- Stick around a while, your tune will change.

MemphisKitten

I just want to say that if I responded to every friend request I decline and told them why, I wouldn't have time to support the friends I do have. I have on my profile that I will not accept requests that do not include a message, and I still get at least 10 a day; and, they usually come from people with nothing filled out on their profile. But I do understand how some people could be offended.

BamaBreezeNSaltAire

^^^^^

penrbrown

If somebody has sent a request and bothered to write a reason for their request - I think they deserve a response in kind (A written rejection).

However if someone just sent a friend request with no personal message they should get the same treatment in return (a rejection with no explanation).

This is internet etiquette. :P

jackpotclown

I invented mystery friend roulette for this very reason........I'm not a no message/no add kind of person, I'll just leave it to chance \m/

felice03

I invented mystery friend roulette for this very reason........I'm not a no message/no add kind of person, I'll just leave it to chance \m/

of which the vote is usually no...because I am that smart.

kimosabe1

It says on my page that if you request send a letter that way I know you better. I have been getting about 4-5 requests a day and 1 has a letter so he is accepted.....

Faye_Anderson

Why should I have to explain myself to somebody I don't know and couldn't care less about? My list, my choice! Sounds harsh? Don't add me. Simple :flowerforyou:

Countryboy_

It says on my page that if you request send a letter that way I know you better. I have been getting about 4-5 requests a day and 1 has a letter so he is accepted.....

Your page is private...so anyone who is not your friend cannot see your carefully posted instructions. So don't hate on those not sending a letter...they have no idea thats what you require, ya know?

_Katastrophic

I only accept ffriends that will look good on my page...........:laugh:

jackpotclown

I invented mystery friend roulette for this very reason........I'm not a no message/no add kind of person, I'll just leave it to chance \m/

of which the vote is usually no...because I am that smart.

I still figure there's gonna come a day where i put someone up and you guys all collectively say yes so I'm stuck with it LOL \m/

rosebudbutterfly

I haven't received any friend requests from anyone besides people I knew already. :glasses:

gingerjen7

Why should I have to explain myself to somebody I don't know and couldn't care less about? My list, my choice!

I agree with this. I have a number of reasons that I might not want to add someone as a friend. Like if I've seen them post on the boards and I think they're obnoxious, should I tell them "No, you annoy the **** out of me and I don't want you on my friends list." That sounds a lot more harsh than just declining. Or, "I looked at your profile and I noticed that you demand an explanation from anyone who wants to be friends with you, like they have to apply for your friendship. I think that's stupid and I didn't apply for your friendship, so buzz off." Probably nicer to just ignore them.

Countryboy_

I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....

UsedToBeHusky

I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining? I am also not about to PM the peeps I think are creepers - that would be an awkward message.

I have posted on my profile that I am not accepting any FR's, but I still get them. If they didn't bother to read my profile, then I don't have to tell them the reason why. The reason is right there on my profile.

gingerjen7

I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....

:laugh:

If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

Moxie42

The only requests I deny are creepers and people who are obviously encouraging extremely unhealthy lifestyles (for example, refusing to eat more than 600 cals!) Creepers don't deserve a response and I don't want to respond to people who are intentionally being very unhealthy because regardless of what I say, I'll come off as a b!tch or make them feel isolated.

Now when it comes to deleting people, I feel torn. I feel bad when I do and usually it's just because someone stopped logging on for a month or two...but I have deleted a couple people for being negative 50 times a day...like, taking over my entire wall with "poor me" posts, to the point I can't see what anyone else is saying and therefore can't be supportive. These people have had literally hundreds of friends too, and never once commented to me, so it's not like they would even notice I was gone! IF they were to ask why I deleted them I would tell them...but to offer that info can come off as mean so I don't.

I try not to care of people add me or delete me or whatever. Only ONE time did I ask someone why they deleted me, and that person ignored me. THAT hurt, I have to admit, only because she had always been extremely supportive and encouraging, and was someone I looked up to...I did support her too so I have NO idea what I did that was so wrong. Every other time I just shrug it off and figure everyone has a their own reasons for doing what they do.

gingerjen7

The only requests I deny are creepers and people who are obviously encouraging extremely unhealthy lifestyles (for example, refusing to eat more than 600 cals!) Creepers don't deserve a response and I don't want to respond to people who are intentionally being very unhealthy because regardless of what I say, I'll come off as a b!tch or make them feel isolated.

Now when it comes to deleting people, I feel torn. I feel bad when I do and usually it's just because someone stopped logging on for a month or two...but I have deleted a couple people for being negative 50 times a day...like, taking over my entire wall with "poor me" posts, to the point I can't see what anyone else is saying and therefore can't be supportive. These people have had literally hundreds of friends too, and never once commented to me, so it's not like they would even notice I was gone! IF they were to ask why I deleted them I would tell them...but to offer that info can come off as mean so I don't.

I try not to care of people add me or delete me or whatever. Only ONE time did I ask someone why they deleted me, and that person ignored me. THAT hurt, I have to admit, only because she had always been extremely supportive and encouraging, and was someone I looked up to...I did support her too so I have NO idea what I did that was so wrong. Every other time I just shrug it off and figure everyone has a their own reasons for doing what they do.

If it makes you feel bad to delete people who post negative things, you can always hide their posts from your newsfeed.

LaurenAOK

Didn't read your whole post or the responses, but in my case, I clearly state on my profile that I won't accept friend requests without a message (I was getting added by too many creepers before). So if someone sends me a request with no message, I just deny it and forget about it. I don't think I owe them a message explaining why I denied them. Obviously they didn't even read my profile, so why did they want to be friends in the first place?

Countryboy_

I typically reject all requests the first time. If they are persistent and follow up later with a second (or sometimes third or fourth) request, I tend to accept, especially if they are hot females in the 18-25 year old range......

But when I do deny a request, I do not send any details...I just quietly click ignore and go on about my collecting.....

:laugh:

If someone sends me a request and I see that all of their friends are "hot" females between the ages of 18 and 25, I reject immediately with no response.

Scratches you off my "to do " list.....

sarahharmintx

I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining?

Exactly. Or if your profile is closed, why would I accept you. I want to know who Im adding without having to delete you after I add then find out you suck.

Moxie42

The only requests I deny are creepers and people who are obviously encouraging extremely unhealthy lifestyles (for example, refusing to eat more than 600 cals!) Creepers don't deserve a response and I don't want to respond to people who are intentionally being very unhealthy because regardless of what I say, I'll come off as a b!tch or make them feel isolated.

Now when it comes to deleting people, I feel torn. I feel bad when I do and usually it's just because someone stopped logging on for a month or two...but I have deleted a couple people for being negative 50 times a day...like, taking over my entire wall with "poor me" posts, to the point I can't see what anyone else is saying and therefore can't be supportive. These people have had literally hundreds of friends too, and never once commented to me, so it's not like they would even notice I was gone! IF they were to ask why I deleted them I would tell them...but to offer that info can come off as mean so I don't.

I try not to care of people add me or delete me or whatever. Only ONE time did I ask someone why they deleted me, and that person ignored me. THAT hurt, I have to admit, only because she had always been extremely supportive and encouraging, and was someone I looked up to...I did support her too so I have NO idea what I did that was so wrong. Every other time I just shrug it off and figure everyone has a their own reasons for doing what they do.

If it makes you feel bad to delete people who post negative things, you can always hide their posts from your newsfeed.

Oh wow, I didn't know that! I'll have to figure that out (unless you can tell me how to do it).

ETA: Just figured it out! It was pretty obvious, huh? Lol! Thanks for the tip!

_SusieQ_

So what are your thoughts on this issue of ignoring friend requests?

I don't ignore them, I just decline most of them.

alie001

I agree with the majority of what has been said but wonder about people that have 200-500+ friends...really...you interact with them all. i want people that I can interact with and who share them same goals, humour, etc. If you have 500 friends and you know all that is going on in their lives then you need a life other than MFP and you won`t be helpful to me.