respones to friend requests

245

Replies

  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    I accept everyone as I believe in giving everyone a chance, they don't have to stay however. I prefer having like-minded people who are serious about weight loss, people with open diaries and who log in daily (obviously, everyone has the odd night off). Unfortunately I deleted a lot of 'trigger' people in the first couple of weeks who were actually pretty decent. Now I enjoy reading about all the lovely foods!
  • LowcarbNY
    LowcarbNY Posts: 546 Member
    I just want to know what you think about not responding to friend requests, even if it's to let the person sending the request know that you're not interested in adding them. Personally I think it's not cool to just outright ignore a friend request. Even if you're not interested in adding people or a specific person, the right thing to do is to at least send that person a message or something to at least let them know that you're not accepting friend requests

    Some people don't bother to say a single word in their Friend Request and have a private profile or don't have anything filled out in their profile. I don't feel any obligation to respond to that kind of blind request. If I did reply I'd be fighting my nature to be snarky.
  • Daysednconfused
    Daysednconfused Posts: 975 Member
    I don't accept all requests, if I get ones with no message and I don't recognize the person as someone I've spoken to in the forums I generally won't accept it. I want to "know" the people on my list so I can better support them. I figure they shouldn't expect a response from me if I'm declining them if they couldn't even spend two seconds to tell me where I might know them from.

    ^This
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining? I am also not about to PM the peeps I think are creepers - that would be an awkward message.

    This. And especially if I can't see their profile, have no mutual friends in common, have not interacted with them in a thread on the forum, and I have no idea why they are wanting to friend me.
  • Thorn51
    Thorn51 Posts: 2 Member
    I guess I pretty much just accept them all...but then again I don't have many.
  • Joanitude
    Joanitude Posts: 171 Member
    Wow. Thanks for raising this topic. So many things I never considered. I like the idea of keeping a friends list cultivated to maximize my ability to both give and receive support. I also like the comments about people not reading your profile - that is a pet peeve of mine on other places, not sure why I thought this was different :ohwell:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    While I accept all FRs (mostly-I have turned down 4 this year) I can understand why people don't. Getting a FR without a message is annoying because you don't know where they found you, why they found you, or what you have in common. I accept anyway but I'm a guy. For women, I can totally see why they need to be pickier. They get probably 3x the requests I do, and they are much more likely to get creepy PMs from the guys on the FL.

    Technically I don't think the requests are being ignored. They are being denied. This isn't a fantasy football site where someone sends you an offer and you can reject it with a reason or a counter offer. You hit reject and that person disappears entirely. Even if you wanted to send a note to say why you rejected them, you don't even have their name anymore.

    Lastly, FLs can easily get too big. Large FLs are harder to manage because you have to dig down so far to see what everyone is up to. It really makes it hard to interact (read: troll) and be supportive.
  • cb83580
    cb83580 Posts: 136 Member
    Personally, I'm not here to make friends. I'm here for me. I use the tools here to achieve my personal goals. I rarely post on the boards, so when I get the occasional friend request, I usually just delete them since that's not what I'm here for. Unless the person sending the request sends me a message, I feel absolutely no guilt for simply deleting the request. It's not my responsibility to appease others or soothe their hurt feelings if I ignore or delete their requests. Again, I'm here for me. I suspect there are quite a lot of others in the same boat.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    The only requests I ignore outright are the ones who are obviously trying to sell me something. Everyone else gets some sort of response.
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    This sounds like a very one sided problem. I bet OP is male without pictures of chiseled abs in his profile.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    I have it clearly stated on my public profile that I no longer accept friend requests from people who can't be bothered to fill out their profile. Yet, I still get requests from people with blank profiles. This tells me they either refused to read my profile or chose to ignore it, in which case I have no problem choosing to ignore them. Why would I waste my time sending a message to someone who refuses to even read the first sentence in my profile? LOL denied!
  • maddieprice87
    maddieprice87 Posts: 56 Member
    I tend to accept all adds and add people who seem interesting. Not fussed if they add me back though! I just need as many people as possible who are active and post their diaries etc in order to keep me motivated! I can't really talk diets on my Facebook as I inevitably get a torrent of people telling me 'but you're fine just the way you are!' and trying to dissuade me from dieting, and generally making me feel like an idiot for wanting to be a little lighter!

    Basically anyone who likes talking diets, isn't about to go all crazy '500cal/day' on me and who fills in and shares their diary, I would love to hear from! xx
  • SageGoddess320
    SageGoddess320 Posts: 2,589 Member
    I have a request at the top of my page that is very clear - please include a message. If someone does not, I decline. If they do not spend the time to read it why would I spend the time to PM them and tell them why I am declining? I am also not about to PM the peeps I think are creepers - that would be an awkward message.

    Same here! If they can't take the time to send me a message or if they have a private profile, I simply decline.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
    I just want to know what you think about not responding to friend requests, even if it's to let the person sending the request know that you're not interested in adding them. Personally I think it's not cool to just outright ignore a friend request. Even if you're not interested in adding people or a specific person, the right thing to do is to at least send that person a message or something to at least let them know that you're not accepting friend requests

    Some people don't bother to say a single word in their Friend Request and have a private profile or don't have anything filled out in their profile. I don't feel any obligation to respond to that kind of blind request. If I did reply I'd be fighting my nature to be snarky.

    Yep. If I don't know anything about you, haven't interacted with you, you have a private page...I'm not adding you. Unless I get a note from you with the request, why should I add you? I'm not social, even on the internet, and I'm not adding someone I know nothing about just for the hell of it. And I don't feel like I should tell them why, that's just mean. What am I going to say "I just don't want to add you"? That seems like it would start a fight. I shouldn't have to justify myself, this is the internet. It's not fifth grade where I have to play with everyone.
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
    i pretty much accept all female requests. no males, and no ppl wout a pic...just my personal preference. when i send out ppl friend requests, i dont get upset if they dont acept me...because 10min later ill prob forget who i even requested. :) we r all here with multiple purposes revolving around the same goal- weightloss. i dont request a msg from ppl requesting to b my friend, because it can only be one of a few reasons: we both got kids, we tryin to lose weight, we tryin to tone up, we want motivation, we working moms.
  • bellydancer124
    bellydancer124 Posts: 248
    I accept pretty much all friend request. If somebody is way creepy, then I won't feel bad about giving them the boot.

    Same here. I've only had to give one person the boot so far and that was because he obviously thought I was just here for a hook up (which couldn't be further from the truth) and sent me a very disturbing message. Due to that, I put on my profile that I require messages for all FR now. Even so, I get quite a few FR without messages. I still accept them (for the time being), but I'll have no problem booting them later and I don't feel like I should have to tell them why.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    I think it's creepy if someone wants to friend me without sending a message.

    Would you call yourself "friends" with someone you've never spoken to? If people are too sensitive and think it's "their" fault then they have some issues to work out.

    Granted, if the person's in my age range, similar interests, I'll usually add them.

    I don't even remember if someone's not accepted one of my friend requests. Don't really care!
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
    I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.
    If someone does send a friend request and informs me why they decided to befriend me, I accept their request, unless the reason is out of the ordinary, but that hasn't happened to me before.

    I second this....just a little something explains why I should accept and if you'll write anything of support or like when I give you support
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    Feeling about friend requests. I. Don't. care. I accept all friend requests because I find most all people interesting. I send requests if I think someone is clever / funny / interesting / knows a lot about something I am interested, but I don't ever bother to check if someone has accepted. There's not much on the line. People are busy, apathetic, not social, private, whatever... who cares?
  • cindylou_106
    cindylou_106 Posts: 6 Member
    I think if you send someone a friend request and they don't want to accept it then they should say why. I have two friend requests out and have not heard back from either and I don't know if I got the addresses or usernames incorrect or if they just for some reason don't want to accept....:flowerforyou:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    I accept very few FR...because I am a *ahem*.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    I get quite a few friend requests throughout the week, and most of them I decline.

    It's rarely for any negative reason other than I feel like I wouldn't be able to support them like I should, and I never send them a note saying why.

    A lot of people do not include a message either, so it's hard for me to figure out how they know me or found me and if they think we'll get along or what.

    As for the reply message, I don't feel like I should have to babysit overly sensitive people on the internet that I don't know. If you're that sensitive to someone you don't know denying a friend request on an internet message board, you've got a lot bigger issues to deal with than being here.
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,585 Member
    Seems to me that if someone cba to read my profile why would they even want to be friends with me.

    I do have quite strict criteria for accepting friend requests, and 99% of the time if I'm declining I don't give an explanation. If they have taken the time to message me and, say, have explained why they keep their diary private then I WILL send them a message as to why I'm declining. I have 1 or maybe 2 friends with closed diaries and I am not adding any more, end of. If you don't send a message or maybe say we have so-and-so as mutual friends, then it's also a no.

    I guess I give the requester the same amount of communication they give to me, irrespective of whether it's an accept or decline :drinker:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    I decline all requests where the person does not offer Bacon as a condition of friendship.
  • Melroxsox
    Melroxsox Posts: 1,040 Member
    I just want to know what you think about not responding to friend requests, even if it's to let the person sending the request know that you're not interested in adding them. Personally I think it's not cool to just outright ignore a friend request. Even if you're not interested in adding people or a specific person, the right thing to do is to at least send that person a message or something to at least let them know that you're not accepting friend requests

    Some people don't bother to say a single word in their Friend Request and have a private profile or don't have anything filled out in their profile. I don't feel any obligation to respond to that kind of blind request. If I did reply I'd be fighting my nature to be snarky.
    this!
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
    If someone is that sensitive to rejection maybe they shouldn't be sending requests to people they aren't sure will accept.
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
    I've ignored one FR....but only because I find her to be a lil crazy weird.
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
    I think you're being a little overly sensitive about it. Its kind of like passing out free pamphlets on the street then getting mad at people who don't explain why they won't take it. A while ago I requested friendship with this older lady here who's pretty active in the forums and also a great example of clean eating and dedication, which is why I requested her. She gave me a lengthy response about how much older she was than me and how we have nothing in common as far as goals and blah blah blah. I was flattered she took so much into consideration but I'd rather she just ignored the request....just saying....
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    I don't get many requests, but when it's a young male with a friends list full of women with "look at my boobs" pictures, I decline. If it turns out someone is a creeper or just collecting friends, I just delete them.
  • joeysox
    joeysox Posts: 195 Member
    I don't accept all friend requests; lots of people send one without giving a reason WHY they want to be my 'friend', so I don't feel guilty not giving them a reason why i don't want to be their friend.
    If someone does send a friend request and informs me why they decided to befriend me, I accept their request, unless the reason is out of the ordinary, but that hasn't happened to me before.
    It may mean i haven't got many 'friends' on my counter, but atleast the ones that are on there are ones that I know I have something in common with.

    this.

    i have accepted some blank requests if i read their profile and they seem to be at a similar place to me. but i find a lot of people just want a big friends list, they dont comment, they dont support and they dont respond to comments i make, so i ditch them!

    i get this a lot, i like people to say why they want to add me i even have it written on my profile to please let me know who you are etc because a lot of people add me and never speak! i like to get to know my friends i have met many lovely ones and even met a few in person (whether here or from other things online gaming etc)

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